CH 42

When I went to bed and woke up, it seemed like the clothes and shoes that Rodo had ordered for me had arrived, so I put them on.

As expected, it fit better than Rodo’s clothes, but the clothes and shoes are still a bit big.

Rodo got dissatisfied when I wore those clothes that are only a little big.

What’s he dissatisfied about?

I adjusted the big shoes with laces so that they wouldn’t come off when I walked.

Now, I don’t have to be picked up by Rodo to move around.

But when I went to the cafeteria for breakfast, Rodo was still dissatisfied.

I can walk on my own two feet and sometimes when I’m small, I’d also walk on my own.

When I was picked up, I didn’t say anything because my stride was different from Rodo’s, and walking up and down the stairs was quite painful.

But now it’s not that inconvenient anymore.

I was wondering what I did wrong but it turned out to be something entirely different.

“Hands, connect?” (Hold hands?)

When I said that, he immediately showed a happy face.

I guess he was dissatisfied because he didn’t want me to walk away.

If so, say that earlier.

Rodo has a strong desire for monopoly, but he just keeps his surroundings in check and doesn’t say much to me.

I originally hate getting close to other people, but sometimes, I’d get closer to Ren and Sig.

He won’t say anything when I’m with Sig but when I get close to Ren, I’m often told “Don’t let him touch you casually.”

Though it’s just him stroking my head, us playing with each other, and me forcing him to piggyback me or sleeping on Ren’s stomach.

I rarely approach others.

However, because of the healing this time, I made some exceptions.

They were in such a state of confusion that mental care was necessary.

If they weren’t in that state, I wouldn’t let them hug and stroke me.

I have often heard the word “Eri******” since then.

I can only understand Eri, but it should be someone’s name.

It seemed to be the name of a healer from the past.

To be honest, I don’t understand the meaning and I didn’t care.

I’m currently training to say Rodo’s official name.

Other people’s names are just second and third place for me.

I can’t even say Rodo’s family name yet, but even if I can’t pronounce it, my family name will be changed to Rodo’s.

When I said that, Rodo hugged me for some reason.

Defeating monsters is easier than you think.

Rodo is the Captain of the Third Corps and he seemed quite strong as an Akinist and my magic alone is enough to subdue the monsters.

Some soldiers are sometimes injured, but no one has died since we arrived.

The man I healed first seemed to have survived.

I had removed the tiredness of the healers many times since then.

And it seems like they could heal more than usual.

The people in the healing room often thanked me.

That person too, he can’t speak yet, but he seemed to be gradually recovering.

Because I cried at the beginning, I was advised to not heal the seriously injured.

And whenever I go to the healing room, they’d show worried faces.

I cried not because “I saw a seriously injured person”.

But because I don’t have the power to heal them.

There are many things I can’t do and I simply materialized the things I can imagine.

Even so, I gained power that wouldn’t have been possible if I was in Japan.

But, there are still things I can and cannot do.

I knew that I can cure those I’ve seen before, but I also knew that I can’t heal those I’ve never seen before.

…no, what I’m doing is not healing, but just “returning” them to what I imagined.

So even if they have a mole or a bruise, if I don’t remember it, it won’t come back.

Just like what I imagined.

It might have been a life that could be saved, but it’s a life that I couldn’t save just because I hadn’t seen them before.

──that was scary.

I can’t just say, “I didn’t see you before, so I can’t help.”

I was just afraid that there’s a life that depended on me.

────

──

I heard that this support mission was for one month.

However, we seemed to have defeated the boss-like monster, so it’ll be stable for a while.

Seems like we can go home before that one month passed.

“Clothes, shoes, make, go.” (Let’s go have my clothes and shoes made.)

Those were the first words said the moment it was decided.

Though it’s okay as it is now, I wanted to give my body the perfect clothes and shoes.

It’s a bit big, and I’m tired of shoes that don’t fit, regardless of the clothes.

“King, report, go.” (Report to the king first.)

But I didn’t want to hear that.

“Hate!”

Because that Doberman is a dog, you know?

For me, who hates dogs, I don’t want to meet him the most.

I know he’s different from the “dogs” of Earth, but I’m still not good with him.

I understand that the people around me are confused.

Apparently, Akinists are much scarier and more awe-inspiring to the people of this world.

I don’t understand why they’d ask me “are you okay?” when I stroked an Akinist, and I even hear people ask “isn’t it scary!?” and saw many people scared of Rodo.

Even beast-shaped children never approached, hiding behind adults and trembling.

…like me in front of the King.

“…alone at home, want?” (Then do you want to stay at home?)

“…”

I hate that too.

However, it’s common sense that if I don’t want to go, I’ll have to stay at home.

I can do something like sitting at home.

…but Rodo looks sad.

“Kou, report.” (I’ll go with you.)

With a sunken face, Rodo still called me for it.

“Separate, hate.” (I don’t want to be separated.)

“…”

Why do you look like my younger brother who’s always left at home…

At that time, I couldn’t leave him, so I took him to play with my friends.

And yet, that younger brother pleaded that he’s “tired” and “can’t walk anymore”, so I had to go home early.

Well, my younger brother at that time was 5 years old, so it can’t be helped.

When I remembered my family that I wouldn’t be able to meet anymore and thinking about separating from Rodo, I hugged him.

The reason I don’t feel annoyed by Rodo, who would stick to me, is probably because I’m attracted to Rodo.

When he’s an Akinist, I’d often say “cute” but when he’s humanized, I still think that Rodo is cute.

“Younger brother, like. Rodo, cute.” (You’re like my younger brother, so cute.)

I can’t reach his head so I hugged him and stroked his back.

“…younger brother?”

“Younger brother, Kou, spoil. Bath, together. Sleep, together. Hug, younger brother, family, okay.” (I spoil my younger brother. We bathed and slept together. I also hug my younger brother since he’s family so it’s okay.)

I hate being hugged by others but it’s a different story if the other person is family.

I especially liked hugging my younger brother.

“…”

“? What?”

Why do you look so dissatisfied?

Are you jealous of my younger brother?

I don’t think it makes sense to be jealous of him.

Seeing my brother again meant leaving Rodo.

I’m spending my time on the premise that I can’t go home anymore, and my body has changed a lot, so maybe I already died.

…well, if that’s the case, it’s a mystery how I was born.

When I came to, I don’t even know if I can return and why I shrank.

I still don’t know even now.

However, though concerned, that didn’t mean I shouldn’t worry about my current situation.

In this world where I don’t have to hide the real “me”, I wish to spend my time without regrets.

So Rodo doesn’t have to be jealous or have a desire for exclusivity.

(Though he had a desire for monopoly, he hadn’t touched me.)

We started sleeping together with me in this figure, but he never touched me.

Just hugged and stroked my head.

Not even a kiss.

But I can’t “ask” for it because it’s embarrassing.

I don’t want to do it because it seems like I’m the only one who wants it.

(Is it because it didn’t seem like he’ll stop until the end?)

I indeed feel scared of the deed.

…but if it stays like this, we’d likely become a “family” rather than “lovers” or a “couple”.

I’d sometimes tempt him, but it didn’t look like he’s looking at me sexually.

…this, will this continue after we get married?