CH 92

[The Distance Between the Two’s Hearts]

The carriage driven by Suzana is running along the road toward the royal capital of the Kingdom of Hartford, Flagoon.

I’m riding on Diedur next to the carriage – running parallel to it.

That idiot… what did she do!

No matter how much she hated him, she shouldn’t have… attacked Gile.

Alfine should have keep up her outward appearance when dealing with nobles no matter what the condition is.

That’s why, for Alfine to be executed due to attempting to assassinate Gile, it must be just a misinformation, an embellished rumor.

Even while riding on Diedur, I’m lost in thought, thinking about the rumor of Alfine.

In the first place, ongoing medical treatment they say, that’s nonsense.

There’s no way that Alfine, who like me – never even once got sick even when sleeping outdoor, would get sick.

In that case, did she get sick because her stress reliever, namely me, has disappeared…?

With Alfine’s personality, she definitely wouldn’t say a word about the fact that she was dumped by me; it’s more likely she’d say I went on a journey to train my swordsmanship.

It is her after all, she’d definitely spread that kind of rumor to her surroundings.

In her mind, all the inconvenient things should be left to me after all.

When I recall my life with Alfine – the time when my self-esteem was severely hurt, I feel like my heart is squeezed and nausea wells up in me, even now.

I should have left Alfine, abandoned my position, name and appearance, and drifted until the frontier Youg Hannotes because I wanted to escape from that life.

And yet, right now, I’m riding a horse toward the royal capital in order to confirm the survival of Alfine, who was the main cause of it.

I’m aware that I am doing something strange, even if I say so myself.

However, the moment I read on the bulletin board that Alfine was executed, an unexplainable feeling exploded inside me, and the urge to confirm if the contents of the bulletin board were true stirred up in me.

“Frick-sama, that is not the way to the royal capital, you know.”

When Suzana calls out to me, I return to myself – realizing that I’m running on the crossroad of the main road in the direction opposite to the royal capital unknowingly.

“Ah, ahh. My bad. That’s the way, right? Sorry Diedur, we went through the wrong way.”

I pull Diedur’s rein and hurry back to the road to the royal capital.

It seems that Diedur also feels that my behavior is strange, as he twists his neck and take a glance at me.

“I know what you want to say. I sure am spacing out a lot lately…”

Ever since I read about Alfine’s execution in the bulletin board in the city of Inhabanes, I couldn’t stop my days with Alfine in the royal capital – which I thought I had thrown away – from leaking from the depths of my heart.

That’s how disturbed my heart was about Alfine who swung me about in her selfishness and had influenced my life.

Due to that, the times I lost in reverie like before increased.

“Uh, uhm… Frick-sama. If you are tired, it is better to take a rest in the carriage… Your face looks quite pale.”

When I approach the carriage, Noelia, worried about my condition, appears from inside and looks at me.

Noelia must also think that my condition has been quite strange since that time.

In fact, I’m so shaken that I surprised even myself; my feeling of wishing for what was written in that bulletin board to be a lie is strong.

Changing our destination to the Royal Capital was also because I want to confirm for myself whether the rumors about Alfine were true…

Having noticed her favor, seeing Noelia looking at me worriedly like this, pains my heart.

I can’t let Noelia worry more than this.

This is my personal problem after all.

And I also have to tell her that I was the platinum-rank adventurer Finn, who was in an adventurer party together with the Sword Master Alfine before I came to Youg Hannotes.

“I-I’m okay. There’s no problem. Yeah, there’s no problem.”

“…I, see. Can’t you… share your worries with me? You seem to be suffering deeply…”

Every time I see my face reflected in her moist eyes, I feel the pain in my heart increase.

And seeing her gently takes her eyes away from me and looks down, my heart aches terribly.

This feels awful……

Because of my anxiety about Alfine’s case and my guilt of hiding my identity, I can’t face Noelia’s properly.

She is clearly thinking that I’m hiding something from her, as she is grabbing the hem of her clothes seemingly wanting to say something.

Every time I become a little bit fonder of Noelia, my suffocating days with my ex-girlfriend the Sword Master Alfine, cross my mind, making my heart beats violently, as though it would burst.

I keep suppressing myself, thinking that if I say I like Noelia, she would suddenly change too, just like Alfine.

I want to think that she won’t, but…

I want to… think so, but…

I feel the shadow of Alfine – who I supposed to have shaken off – tightly squeezing and disturbing my heart, making me unable to be positive about my relationship with Noelia.

“I’m sorry, Noelia. I’ll settle the various fuzzy feelings in me at the royal capital. Then… then I will——”

Without waiting for the rest of my words, Noelia jumps out of the carriage onto the running Diedur’s back and hugs me from the back.

“Even the dull me know that Frick-sama has a lot of things he can’t say… And, I understand that I can’t support him. So, I will wait. Frick-sama, I will always——”

I can’t hear the continuation of her words.

I’m not even sure whether she said it or not.

But the power in Noelia’s hands which is wrapping around my waist is so strong that I couldn’t think of her a slender woman.

But maybe because she’s worried, her hands are trembling a little.

Noelia, I will settle it properly.

Feeling the warmth of her body from my back, I put my hand on her hands that are wrapping around my waist and ride Dimol silently.