“Alessia, are you ready?”
“Yes, I’ll be out soon.”
Hours after the incident, Alessia met with Kaon again with a clean face. She couldn’t hide the redness around her eyes, but she probably wasn’t too ugly to look at.
“Did you rest well?” he asked awkwardly, keeping his eyes on her face.
She suddenly realized why she had been so uncomfortable around him. No one in her life took notice of her more than he did.
It had always been her role to be conscious of others and try to fit their mood. Such was not the case with Kaon Ferdinand, who looked at her and… cared for her.
That’s what bothered her.
Of course, there were her feelings of inferiority, but the inconvenience of experiencing unfamiliar things all at once was even more annoying.
“Yes, thanks to you.”
It was a little better now. Maybe because she had let go of some of her negative feelings against him, or because his clumsy consolations broke something in her, but she no longer had the same thoughts as before.
Although it was still kind of scary to be at the end of so much effort.
Alessia followed him quietly, ignoring his gaze.
Kaon guided her through and outside the mansion, stopping in front of a relatively small residence away from the main building in the estate.
She remembered hearing that it had been built by the previous Duke Ferdinand for his wife. After the two died, it had been abandoned.
‘Why are we here?’
She resisted her curiosity and first let herself be led to a staircase.
The ceiling and windows were all made of clear glass, ensuring the presence of light throughout the day and a full view of the beautiful surroundings.
The former duke’s love for his wife was palpable.
As they climbed, the deep blue sky seemed to inch closer and closer.
Alessia suddenly felt a deep envy for the woman she had only seen in portraits, who received this wonderful place as a gift.
To her, whose cursed name was the only gift she had received, such a life was unimaginable.
“We’re almost there,” Kaon said, the first words he had spoken since they left their rooms. He stopped in front of the third room to their right. “Here.”
There was a key in his palm, making his intentions obvious.
Alessia was greeted with the familiar smell of paper when she opened the door. The room looked like both a study and a bedroom, boasting a clean and comfortable atmosphere. There was an armchair in front of a large, panoramic window that overlooked the estate.
It was very similar to what she had once dreamed of having.
“It’s the room my mother used to use.”
“She must have liked books.”
“She did, which is why they fill most of the rooms in this place. Still, this room was her favorite. Mother said it made her feel like she was floating.”
Alessia knew what the late Duchess Ferdinand had meant. It was a joy to be able to read without disturbances in a well-lit room.
“I’m sure she did.” She grinned.
In truth, it wasn’t a very interesting or unique story. It would have been more advantageous to her if the duchess was alive, but…
Alessia turned to Kaon, trying to figure out if he had brought her here to share his memories of his mother.
Kaon worried his lips and sighed. “Sometimes, being alone is easier. I have times when I feel that way.”
“Everyone does, Kaon. I do too,” she replied.
“Come and rest here when you feel that way. I haven’t cleaned the other rooms yet, but…”
In the brief silence that followed, their gazes met. Kaon was fiddling with the back of his neck with a shy expression.
“…You want me to use this place?”
“Leo doesn’t really care about this mansion in general, so you can use any other room, but it would be better if you use the cleanest room… This place is maintained once every three months, but… Anyway, this is the cleanest room at the moment.”
“But this is your mother’s room.”
“Well, she’s not here now. All the other rooms are unoccupied as well. It’s perfectly fine to use it,” he said, averting his eyes. “And… I heard you like books.”
The light from the sunset poured into the room, further casting redness onto Kaon’s blushing face.
Alessia looked at him and the key in her hand alternately.
To summarize, he wanted to give her a space where she could rest alone, so he chose the place where his mother used to stay and cleaned it himself because he didn’t want anyone else to know about his plans.
‘I… can’t.’
Alessia did not want to think of Kaon Ferdinand as special. She did not want to always feel hyperaware of one unpredictable boy.
Unfortunately for her, he kept creeping into all her thoughts.
“Oh, right. Do you want to visit that boutique again soon? It’ll be winter shortly, so I was thinking about getting a coat before the cold really sets in. While we’re out, we can also look around Briar for a bit. It’s boring to just stay here all the time.
This overly tall, beautiful boy who shyly avoided her eyes and offered her good things felt like a gift from a god who sympathized with her.
‘I will definitely become the best mage because that’s what everyone said.’
That little girl and her expectations were gone now.
‘I’ll finally feel the mana today.’
‘If I’m honest with everyone, maybe they won’t hate me anymore.’
‘My parents probably don’t know that this is happening. They will surely help me when they find out.’
None of her trivial, desperate pleas had been answered. In time, it became easier not to wish for anything at all.
But each time she looked at Kaon Ferdinand, a building sense of anticipation loomed in the back of her mind.
Perhaps he was the only blessing she would ever receive in her life. And perhaps… she could bear to hope that he would be hers forever.
***
Did it all go wrong the moment she started having expectations again? Was it bad to hope for something better because it never came true?
Her life had never gone her way. From the moment she was born and given her glorious, burdensome name, nothing had ever worked out for her.
“Alessia, are you… a mage?”
The tension and rigidness in his facial muscles told her how much he had agonized over the question.
‘It has come.’
When Maurice had asked her to show him her magic, she quickly noticed who was really asking. Even if Kaon wasn’t standing right next to her and staring anxiously, she would have known.
For the past few days, his attitude had been very different from usual. Alessia was expecting that this day would arrive.
So, although she knew early on that Maurice’s request was a trap, she cast a showy spell using her ring.
If there was a trap, there surely will be someone who will come to collect it. She deliberately let herself get caught, intending to observe the hunter’s reaction.
As a result, Alessia learned that Kaon Ferdinand was a skilled knight, but not a skilled hunter.
‘So this is how it ends.’
Alessia swallowed a bitter laugh. This was probably the price of wishing for something that wasn’t meant to be hers.
At first, she’d hated him. She had hated how his only worry seemed to be making himself look good in front of her. It would have been better if she still hated him now, or if he didn’t like her either.
‘I wish…’
If that had been the case, she wouldn’t have to feel this way.
But it was already too late.
She had to throw away those nonsensical thoughts and get her act together if she wanted to stay in Ferdinand. And Alessia very much wanted to, preferring to be eaten by a monster than to return to Ingelos.
“You see it, don’t you?”
Kaon flinched, practically confirming her hunch that he was also hiding something.
This was her last chance.
Alessia instinctively knew that she had to seize it. Even if it meant targeting Kaon Ferdinand’s weakness.
Miracles were only temporary, after all.
Alessia Ingelos returned to her eternal reality, just like that.
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