CH 212

Chapter 212 – Shakuhara’s Feelings

“….Huh?” (Saniwa)

“Today, as of this moment, you and I are now complete strangers. We are no longer friends.” (Shakuhara)

“W-Why? Why would you say that? You’re just joking… right?” (Saniwa)

“…Don’t ever come near me again.” (Shakuhara)

“Kei…chan…? I…” (Saniwa)

“Don’t call me by that name either. You’re always in my way. You’re holding me back. I don’t want you in my life anymore.” (Shakuhara)

“….” (Saniwa)

“Get out!” (Shakuhara)

I guess those words were the final straw, as Saniwa spun around and left the room, unable to bear it anymore. On her way out, she saw me standing there, but she ran off without a word, tears streaming down her face.

I looked at Shakuhara, who was now alone in the infirmary.

Her face was filled with a deep despair. It was clear beyond a hint of doubt that she hadn’t wanted to break off her friendship with her. In the end, it was just a way to get Saniwa to leave the order.

But even so, she must be terribly pained by the fact that she had to say such cruel words to her best friend.

“You’re quite the awkward one, aren’t you?” (Torimoto)

“…?! Y-You…!” (Shakuhara)

When I entered the room and spoke aloud, she quickly wiped her eyes on her sleeve and glared at me.

“What? What do you want? Are you going to show your true colors and attack me after all?” (Shakuhara)

“No, I was just eavesdropping.” (Torimoto)

“That’s the part where you’re normally supposed to say ‘I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but…’!” (Shakuhara)

“Ah, well you see. I’m not a normal person.” (Torimoto)

“That’s nothing to boast about! You weirdo!” (Shakuhara)

How awful.

“…She was crying. Are you fine with that?” (Torimoto)

“…That’s none of your business. You’re a man, so don’t stick your nose into everything.” (Shakuhara)

“I see. It certainly is a problem just between you two. I’m a man, so I’ll just shut up and walk away.” (Torimoto)

But then, Shakuhara told me to wait.

“What is it?” (Torimoto)

“….You said you’ve traveled to many places before, right?” (Shakuhara)

“Well, yeah. What about it?” (Torimoto)

“Then you should be acquainted with a lot of groups, right?” (Shakuhara)

“…I suppose.” (Torimoto)

“Then… Take her… Riwa… to a safe group.” (Shakuhara)

What a surprise. I never thought she would come out and say something like that.

“I’m a guy, you know?” (Torimoto)

“Hah? I know that.” (Shakuhara)

“You hate men with all your heart, but you would entrust your best friend to me, a man?” (Torimoto)

“I’m already impure in body and soul. If I stay by her side… I’ll just cause trouble for her again.” (Shakuhara)

“So you’re saying that your impure, unclean self isn’t qualified to be at the side of the pure and clean Saniwa-san?” (Torimoto)

Shakuhara didn’t respond to my question. She just remained silent.

I understood what she was trying to say. People who have killed, and people who have not… It wasn’t easy to put into words, but there was a definite line between the two. In fact, it was a line so thick that it could be called a wall.

She was saying that someone who had strayed from the path of humanity—in other words, someone who had committed murder, couldn’t stay in the company of someone like Saniwa, who was living an upright life. She was saying that she had fallen into darkness. While her friend lived in the light, she alone was in pain.

She couldn’t look her friend straight in the eye. In comparison, her friend was too radiant… too bright. She feared that she was taking away from that radiance just by being near her.

Shakuhara didn’t want the unsullied Saniwa to stand on the battlefield any longer, much less for Saniwa to get her hands dirty for her own sake.

That was why she had cast her aside.

“Since you’re so determined to do this, why did you join this order together in the first place?” (Torimoto)

“….It was because it was in line with my principles. I was also… deeply moved by Founder-sama’s words.” (Shakuhara)

“But Saniwa-san followed you. Did you not think of pushing her away back then?” (Torimoto)

“I did. But… I couldn’t.” (Shakuhara)

“Why is that?” (Torimoto)

“Because… I was too weak. I didn’t want to be alone. So… I took advantage of her kindness.” (Shakuhara)

Shakuhara was sitting on the infirmary bed, hugging her knees and trembling. She must be feeling guilty. Things had turned out this way because of her own selfishness.

In the end… it was because she didn’t want to be alone.

It was the same for me. That was why I kept Sol, Shiki, and the others by my side.