Chapter 643 - 60- Trinity – Accepting Part 2 (VOLUME 4)
~~
Trinity
~~
"Just stop doing that, Trinity. You need to listen to me and for that I need you to stop talking."
"Fine." I nodded, planning to do my best to stay quiet and not interrupt the other me.
"Just do your best." She nodded at me. "I do not expect you to be perfect. You are human, after all. Remember?"
After a small chuckle and a wide grin, the other me settled herself onto the bench a little more, looking a little more relaxed than she had through any of this so far. I guess she was finally starting to get to the real reason why I was brought there. For that, I needed to shut up and listen.
"Now, you asked when I first came into existence, right? Well, that started when you were perhaps five or six years old. It was when you started to realize that everyone had a mom and a dad, or at least one of them. You started to realize that all of your classmates, your cousins, pretty much everyone in the pack had parents of some kind, but you did not remember a single thing about yours."
The other me's voice was ringing eerily in my ears. Or was that just the heartache I was feeling at her words? Still, I was currently holding my chest and straining to hear each word that she said.
"Your aunt and uncle had always talked about your mother. They told you stories about her and about what a wonderful person she was. However, you couldn't match up your mother with your mind. She was just a thought and a story, not a memory. As you got older you asked more and wanted to know more. You even asked your grandfather, but that led to him getting angry and you thought that he was mad at you. In truth, he was just sad and didn't know how to express it very well. As those questions, thoughts, and worries about who you were and where you came from started to grow, so did I. So, to answer when I actually came into existence, Trinity, it was when you started feeling upset about not having parents."
How could that be, though? I loved my family growing up. If I didn't, why would I ask Aunt Eve and Uncle Wesley to be my mom and dad? Didn't I feel loved as a child? Why would I let the darkness start to grow in me because of that? How could that even happen when I was so young.
"Now, Trinity, from there, I was not given the power and strength that I have today. I would not have been able to give you these memories and lessons if that was all that it took to create me. No, that was just the beginning." The other me went on to explain further.
"So, when did you get to be like this? When did things get to be this bad?" I couldn't help it, I just had to interrupt her and ask that.
"To be honest, it was when you first met Reece. There was nothing but animosity between the two of you. You both antagonized each other so much. I cannot say the same for Reece, but you had a lot of dark thoughts, need I remind you of the time you wanted to beat him with a baseball bat?" The other me laughed at the absurdity of it all, but I didn't find it so funny.
"I never would have hit him. It was just me being frustrated, that is all. Why did that have to count as me being evil?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
"I did not say that it was evil. I said it was a dark thought. Everyone on the planet, every humanoid that is, will have dark thoughts. That does not make them evil, it makes them human. You did not act on those things, and that makes you a good person, but you need to understand that every person in the world has a little bit of darkness buried deep inside of them. I do not mean to say that you are evil, Trinity. Quite the opposite, you are a good person and that is why you have been haunted by the horrors you have seen."
The other me was right about that as well. Ever since I killed my father all those years ago, I have been haunted by it. I will still have nightmares about the battles I have seen and the people that have died. I never told anyone, and I would never admit it to anyone, not even myself, but I have felt guilt for years. It's been eating away at me. Is my time here meant to help me cope with all of it?
"I can see you contemplating it all, Trinity. And I know that you can see that I am right. You have darkness inside of you. Everyone does. Even the most kindhearted and sweetest people in the world have darkness inside of them. And contrarily, even the darkest and most evil of people, have a shred of goodness inside of them."
"All of them?" I crossed my arms and questioned her.
"All of them." She agreed and stared blankly at me.
"So, you tell me people that have committed some of the biggest atrocities that the world has ever seen had goodness in them?" I couldn't believe what she was telling me. Maybe this other me didn't really know what she was talking about after all.
"Were those people born doing those things? Were they not once innocent little children? Did they not have mothers that loved them and little giggles that brought joy to their hearts? Even your father wasn't born bad, as you saw, he was made that way by the things and people around him. He was an innocent child when he was born and no matter what he did, a scrap of that innocence remained when he did all those evil things."
"I cannot deny that what you are saying is true. I saw with my own eyes that he was not evil. But that doesn't mean that I wholeheartedly agree with you on the issue of my father. I saw no innocence in him when he died."
"I will agree to that, he did not show anything remotely close to his childhood innocence at that time." The other me nodded her head and conceded to me. "However, Trinity, can you agree that you have darkness even though you are a good person? Now that you have been faced with all the things that your actions have caused, can you accept that about yourself and move forward, can you try to think of the broader aspects of the situation rather than just what you see before your eyes?"
The things that the other me was saying made sense, and I knew that I needed to accept it, but it was hard. Knowing that all those things had been my fault. Knowing that I caused so much destruction without even meaning to. All of that would weigh on my mind forever.
"Yes." I answered as I thought about it. "I will never forget what I have seen here. I will never let myself be blinded by what I see ever again. I will look farther and think broader. That will help to eliminate the darkness inside of me." I looked at the other me and saw that she was smiling happily.
"That took a lot less time to convince you than I thought, Trinity." She rose to her feet and stepped toward me, only this time, the fire disappeared as she moved instead of burning her and me. "You have done well. Please stand up."
I did as the other me said and rose before her, standing still and frozen before her as she approached. I didn't move or say anything when she came closer and closer. It looked to me like the other me was going to give me a hug.
"Accept the truth, remember it in the future, and take me with you as a reminder. That is what you must do."
With that, the other me wrapped her arms around me. It didn't just feel like she was hugging me, it felt like she was walking into me. And, as I raised my arms and went to hug her, the other me turned into dust and fell away.. I hadn't even placed my hand on her back and she was already gone.
Trinity
~~
"Just stop doing that, Trinity. You need to listen to me and for that I need you to stop talking."
"Fine." I nodded, planning to do my best to stay quiet and not interrupt the other me.
"Just do your best." She nodded at me. "I do not expect you to be perfect. You are human, after all. Remember?"
After a small chuckle and a wide grin, the other me settled herself onto the bench a little more, looking a little more relaxed than she had through any of this so far. I guess she was finally starting to get to the real reason why I was brought there. For that, I needed to shut up and listen.
"Now, you asked when I first came into existence, right? Well, that started when you were perhaps five or six years old. It was when you started to realize that everyone had a mom and a dad, or at least one of them. You started to realize that all of your classmates, your cousins, pretty much everyone in the pack had parents of some kind, but you did not remember a single thing about yours."
The other me's voice was ringing eerily in my ears. Or was that just the heartache I was feeling at her words? Still, I was currently holding my chest and straining to hear each word that she said.
"Your aunt and uncle had always talked about your mother. They told you stories about her and about what a wonderful person she was. However, you couldn't match up your mother with your mind. She was just a thought and a story, not a memory. As you got older you asked more and wanted to know more. You even asked your grandfather, but that led to him getting angry and you thought that he was mad at you. In truth, he was just sad and didn't know how to express it very well. As those questions, thoughts, and worries about who you were and where you came from started to grow, so did I. So, to answer when I actually came into existence, Trinity, it was when you started feeling upset about not having parents."
How could that be, though? I loved my family growing up. If I didn't, why would I ask Aunt Eve and Uncle Wesley to be my mom and dad? Didn't I feel loved as a child? Why would I let the darkness start to grow in me because of that? How could that even happen when I was so young.
"Now, Trinity, from there, I was not given the power and strength that I have today. I would not have been able to give you these memories and lessons if that was all that it took to create me. No, that was just the beginning." The other me went on to explain further.
"So, when did you get to be like this? When did things get to be this bad?" I couldn't help it, I just had to interrupt her and ask that.
"To be honest, it was when you first met Reece. There was nothing but animosity between the two of you. You both antagonized each other so much. I cannot say the same for Reece, but you had a lot of dark thoughts, need I remind you of the time you wanted to beat him with a baseball bat?" The other me laughed at the absurdity of it all, but I didn't find it so funny.
"I never would have hit him. It was just me being frustrated, that is all. Why did that have to count as me being evil?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
"I did not say that it was evil. I said it was a dark thought. Everyone on the planet, every humanoid that is, will have dark thoughts. That does not make them evil, it makes them human. You did not act on those things, and that makes you a good person, but you need to understand that every person in the world has a little bit of darkness buried deep inside of them. I do not mean to say that you are evil, Trinity. Quite the opposite, you are a good person and that is why you have been haunted by the horrors you have seen."
The other me was right about that as well. Ever since I killed my father all those years ago, I have been haunted by it. I will still have nightmares about the battles I have seen and the people that have died. I never told anyone, and I would never admit it to anyone, not even myself, but I have felt guilt for years. It's been eating away at me. Is my time here meant to help me cope with all of it?
"I can see you contemplating it all, Trinity. And I know that you can see that I am right. You have darkness inside of you. Everyone does. Even the most kindhearted and sweetest people in the world have darkness inside of them. And contrarily, even the darkest and most evil of people, have a shred of goodness inside of them."
"All of them?" I crossed my arms and questioned her.
"All of them." She agreed and stared blankly at me.
"So, you tell me people that have committed some of the biggest atrocities that the world has ever seen had goodness in them?" I couldn't believe what she was telling me. Maybe this other me didn't really know what she was talking about after all.
"Were those people born doing those things? Were they not once innocent little children? Did they not have mothers that loved them and little giggles that brought joy to their hearts? Even your father wasn't born bad, as you saw, he was made that way by the things and people around him. He was an innocent child when he was born and no matter what he did, a scrap of that innocence remained when he did all those evil things."
"I cannot deny that what you are saying is true. I saw with my own eyes that he was not evil. But that doesn't mean that I wholeheartedly agree with you on the issue of my father. I saw no innocence in him when he died."
"I will agree to that, he did not show anything remotely close to his childhood innocence at that time." The other me nodded her head and conceded to me. "However, Trinity, can you agree that you have darkness even though you are a good person? Now that you have been faced with all the things that your actions have caused, can you accept that about yourself and move forward, can you try to think of the broader aspects of the situation rather than just what you see before your eyes?"
The things that the other me was saying made sense, and I knew that I needed to accept it, but it was hard. Knowing that all those things had been my fault. Knowing that I caused so much destruction without even meaning to. All of that would weigh on my mind forever.
"Yes." I answered as I thought about it. "I will never forget what I have seen here. I will never let myself be blinded by what I see ever again. I will look farther and think broader. That will help to eliminate the darkness inside of me." I looked at the other me and saw that she was smiling happily.
"That took a lot less time to convince you than I thought, Trinity." She rose to her feet and stepped toward me, only this time, the fire disappeared as she moved instead of burning her and me. "You have done well. Please stand up."
I did as the other me said and rose before her, standing still and frozen before her as she approached. I didn't move or say anything when she came closer and closer. It looked to me like the other me was going to give me a hug.
"Accept the truth, remember it in the future, and take me with you as a reminder. That is what you must do."
With that, the other me wrapped her arms around me. It didn't just feel like she was hugging me, it felt like she was walking into me. And, as I raised my arms and went to hug her, the other me turned into dust and fell away.. I hadn't even placed my hand on her back and she was already gone.
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