Chapter 200 - A deal with a monster

Liam left Ying Sheng's room and strolled to his room. He felt like someone was squeezing his heart.  With trembling hands, he locked the door and laid on his bed staring at the ceiling. 

Tears welled up in his eyes as he drew in a deep breath to calm his aching heart.

Even though Ying Sheng didn't say anything, his heart was breaking with her rejection. He was so stupid to think that she would feel anything for him.

He was a nerd, ugly and not cool. How could he ever compete with that guy whom she is in love with. Even though, Ying Sheng hasn't said anything, he could see she was in love with the guy.

Liam felt angry at himself to have allow himself to have fallen deeper for her. But the heart wants what it wants and he didn't ask his heart to beat for Ying Sheng.

God, she was the most beautiful woman he has ever laid eyes on. She was strong, smart at the same time she was so fragile. 

Liam could still remember how his heart was racing in his chest the first time she spoke to him. Right there, he knew she was the one.

He loves; loves her so much and the mere thought of never getting her makes him feel like someone was shooting bullets straight into his hearts.

Liam could still remember how soft her lips smashed against his. How soft her body was under him and how perfectly her b.r.e.a.s.t fit in his palms.

He never thought of himself as the s.e.x.u.a.l type but for Ying Sheng he wanted to the guy that would make her scream in pleasure even though he had no idea how. He would learn for her. 

He wanted to make her m.o.a.n out his name. How divine her m.o.a.n sounds. Liam wanted more, he needed more. Screw being innocent. He wanted to be wild, fierce and fill Ying Sheng with love and he wouldn't stop until he has her.

He pictured her brown orbs flickering with desire for him. A beautiful smile on her face as she looks longing at him. He loved her sweet scent that seems to only belong to her.

Liam felt like someone was drilling a hole in his chest when he remembered her expression when he told her he was in love with her. 

Should he put a distance between them? He needed to clear his head. Numbly he walked to the bathroom and turned on the shower. Stripping off his clothes, he stepped under the shower.

He closed his eyes and tried to forget what had happened but he couldn't.

The way her tongue explored his mouth,the desire flickering in her eyes and the feeling of her running her fingers through his hair.

Something heavy settled in Liam's chest when he realized, this might be the last time he would ever get to touch her. Tears fell down his cheeks .

They say men don't cry but if you ever felt the excruciating pain of having your heart ripped out of your chest then you will know how painful it feels.

It hurts; hurts so much.

Their late night drinking games, her teasing and her messy hair in the morning. All of these petty things made him love her more.

Did he do the right thing by telling her? Maybe...he shouldn't have. Maybe he should have waited. But it was too late now.

*****************

Ying Sheng stared at the door that was still opened and felt her heart racing in her chest.

He loves her…..how could he? Ying Sheng drew in a long breath. For her, Liam was the perfect guy any woman could ask for, but she was so obsessed with Han Xi that she couldn't see herself with anyone.

Also, Liam deserved someone better. How can such a perfect soul falls in love with a monster like her? He deserved a trophy wife….. something she would never be.

Finally a sad thought crossed Ying Sheng's mind. Was she going to lose Liam? Because Ying Sheng knew there was no way they could just be friends again.

She felt her heart beat raging in, her pulse was louder as she felt herself getting a panic attack. 

Ying Sheng was afraid of losing the only significant person in her life. She abruptly went to bathroom, turned in the sink and threw water on her face to calm down but she couldn't.

Ying Sheng slowly looked at herself in the mirror and gazed at her pale face as Liam's words echoed in her mind.

It would be a lie if she said his words didn't make her heart race but her mind and the demons in there made it hard for her to believe it. They were taunting her.

How can someone love a mess like this?

"Ugly duckling." Ying Sheng mumbled to the lifeless pale girl staring back at her. 

"You're so ugly and pathetic. How can someone love you." 

Tears rolled down Ying Sheng's cheeks as she screamed.

"Shut up!" She balled her fist and smashed it against the mirror till it started bleeding.

"You're unworthy of love! Unworthy!" Ying Sheng felt all her demons crushing up on her, taunting her. The air in the room thicken and when she thought she was going to lose control, she felt a strong arms around her waist, pulling her from the mirror.

Liam pulled her into a hug, and gently whispered,

"Shss….it's okay."

Liam pressed her face into his hard chest. When she finally calmed down, Liam spoke.

"I'm so sorry….sorry.  You're hurting because of me, right? I was so selfish. I promised myself to protect you but I hurt you rather."

Ying Sheng shook her head agressively and pulled away from him.

"No-no. I'm the one who is sorry. Sorry I can't be the perfect girl for you."

"Sorry that I have hurt you, I never wanted to hurt you." Ying Sheng continued.

A frown formed on Liam's face when he heard her. He cupped her face in his palms and kissed her forehead soothingly.

"What are you talking about?" Liam whispered.

"You falling in love with a monster like me, I'm sorry. I'm not worthy of love and you are so good you deserve someone better. No one deserves to fall in love with a monster like me." Ying Sheng sobbed as she said.

"Ying Sheng….look at me." Liam whispered, nudging her face up with a little while his thumbs caressed her wet cheeks.

Reluctantly,Ying Sheng looked up and meet his gaze.

"You need to stop loving me. Let me go. This isn't a fairy tale or teen fiction where the depressed bad girl falls for the good boy and tries to change for him then they live happily ever after. This is real life and well….life is f.u.c.k.i.e.d."

Ying Sheng said, avoiding Liam's gaze, loneliness flickering in her eyes.

"But I-I won't ask you.. to change or want you to change. I just want you to be my bad girl. You --can tie me up in bed- and fu…ck me until I forget my name." Liam stammered as he turned crimson red.

Ying Sheng heaved a sigh, "Cutie, you're supposed to look for a trophy wife who can cook and do chores. Not a monster like me who will destroy your perfect life. Also, we can't be together."

Liam's heart nearly stopped in his chest when he heard her. His shoulders hunched, and he took a deep breath.

'Why?" He queried.

"Because I love someone else."

Ying Sheng blinked away her tears as she said.

"I know. And I don't care if you love someone else. I'm not letting you go." Liam said firmly.

"You're stuck with me so bear with me." Liam forced out a smile as he said.

"How...after seeing me at my worst, how can you love me? You should be disgusted with me. You should hate me for being weak. I'm a monster…..ugly monster with scars. I'm—"

"Stop it!" Liam bellowed as he pulled her into his arms.

"You can't tell me what to do with my heart. I love you and not anyone else. You're not an ugly monster. You're so beautiful….even at your weakest you're the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. My baddie" Liam whispered.

Ying Sheng's ears rested on his loud heartbeat. She could hear how fast his heart was beating.  Hearing his heartbeat calm down Ying Sheng. 

She felt an unfamiliar yet tingling feeling spread inside her. 

She didn't know what it was but she knew she loved being in his arms. Ying Sheng has no idea why she was feeling this way.

"Please don't leave me...." Ying Sheng pleaded with her as she gripped his shirt tightly.

"I won't leave you. Never."

Liam told her as he stroked her scalp, his fingers running gently through her hair.

"It's okay if you don't love me. I will wait for you patiently."

"How long are you planning on waiting?" Ying Sheng asked quietly.

"Five months. Give me five months to chase you. If after five months I still haven't been able to make you fall in love with me. I will let you go."

Ying Sheng stiffened. Was she ready to take on this challenge? Of course, she wanted to experience how it's like to be loved and pampered by someone.

"Alright." She agreed.

Liam's lips curved into a smile. " Do you promise to stay alive during this time? Please…..for me."

Ying Sheng stiffened, she didn't know when she would snap but she was willing to try.

"I—I will try."

**Double click to check Author's Note