Volume 2 - CH 13

In which Qin Zhiyuan needs to stop staying up overnight watching TV. Remember, kids, everything in moderation!!

Volume 2, Chapter 13

Black Hair was about to premiere.

For the past few days, Gu Yan had been running this way and that in the city, doing all sorts of publicity. The new movie’s contract had also been just about decided, and only a few details remained to be pinned down. As such, he picked a free day to do a promotional photoshoot.

Qin Zhiyuan was well-informed and so was also on set on the day of the photoshoot. After so many days of not meeting, he was still as impeccably attired as always, his attitude graceful and elegant; it was only that his energy seemed a bit low, looking as if he hadn’t gotten enough sleep.

From the position of a friend, Gu Yan asked after his health.

Qin Zhiyuan first expressed his thanks, and then he said something that seemed to be completely unrelated, “My DVD player at home broke down.”

“Huh?”

“So I got a new one, and recently I’ve been watching a lot of different movies and TV series.” And then, in one breath, he named a bunch of different titles.

As he listened, Gu Yan startled, feeling as if all those titles sounded extremely familiar.

After a moment, he remembered. Everything that Qin Zhiyuan mentioned were movies and TV shows in which he had acted. Several that sounded more unfamiliar to him were ones that he himself didn’t even remember what roles he had, as he had most likely been on set for barely any time as a minor background role. He also didn’t know where Qin Zhiyuan had found all these, and why this person was reciting them to him.

Gu Yan thought for a bit and then purposely avoided this topic, “President Qin’s work is so busy that it’s probably better if you stop staying up too late and start resting early.”

“Although I watched a lot of meaningless, melodramatic stories, I feel like the time I spent was quite worth it.” Qin Zhiyuan smiled, his gaze remaining fixed on Gu Yan as he said, “At least, it let me understand a certain person better.”

“It’s all just acting. There’s no real use in studying it.”

“But when you’re acting, you’re definitely also immersing yourself in those emotions.”

For a moment, Gu Yan wasn’t sure how he should reply.

Fortunately, the stylist had already arrived and was currently calling for him to change. He thus took the opportunity to end this conversation, turning around and walking into the makeup room.

Because the new film was set in modern times, the makeup wasn’t as troublesome as the historical drama. Gu Yan simply had his hair tidied up, cutting his bangs a bit shorter so as to expose his pitch-black eyes and clear forehead, and then changed into a large white gown with some rimless glasses. Just that, and he was mostly finished.

It was an extremely simple style, but the result was extraordinary.

White clothes had originally suited Gu Yan’s reserved disposition very well, and those glasses in particular not only didn’t cover up his beauty but also actually deepened it with an understated flair. He was just like a piece of polished jade, appearing peaceful and subdued but also exposing a faint ice-cold sharpness.

The moment the light shone on him, people were so mesmerized that they couldn’t look away.

Several of the younger women called out ‘how handsome’ in succession, and even the photographer couldn’t help but give a few words of praise. Only Lin Jiarui remained as unmoved as ever, standing on the side with his arms folded, giving only a simple thumbs up to Gu Yan.

Gu Yan understood very well and responded with a smile.

Qin Zhiyuan took in this entire scene, feeling upset in his heart. But he couldn’t do anything but endure it. As expected, Young Master Lin did have good eyes; the appearance of Gu Yan right now was indeed very well-matched with the image of the character in the script.

After this shot was finished, Gu Yan changed into a few other clothes. Work progressed very smoothly, but by the time it ended, it was already the afternoon.

Although hungry, Qin Zhiyuan stood waiting on the side. Once he saw Gu Yan change back, he walked up and said, “Let’s go and eat lunch together.”

“Sorry, but I don’t think I can find the time today.”

“What? Do I now have to book an appointment first before asking you out for a meal?”

Gu Yan didn’t have time to respond before Lin Jiarui arrived first and asked, “Still busy?”

“No, I’ll be ready to leave after I finish tidying up. It’s rare to eat with Director Lin, so of course I wouldn’t miss it.” When Gu Yan finished speaking, he once again looked at Qin Zhiyuan and asked, “Isn’t that right, President Qin?”

Qin Zhiyuan was choked by these words and really didn’t have any way to object. For the sake of maintaining his image, he could only swallow his anger and watch blankly as Gu Yan left together with Lin Jiarui.

Young Master Lin never drove. According to him, either he had a chauffeur to drive him or he’d walk there with his own two legs. Regardless, he’d definitely never drive, and he hadn’t even bothered to get a license. So, for the meal today, Gu Yan became his temporary chauffeur.

They hadn’t been driving for too long when the two of them discovered that another car was following behind them.

Gu Yan blinked and then pretended he didn’t notice, so Lin Jiarui also followed his example and didn’t mention it, simply recommending a certain restaurant downtown to him.

When they reached their destination and had just sat down, Qin Zhiyuan also pushed open the door and entered. He didn’t go over to talk to them, simply settling down in a nearby seat. From that angle, when he looked over, he was able to get a perfect view of Gu Yan’s back.

Gu Yan didn’t turn around even once.

It was Lin Jiarui who ended up saying a careless line while they ate, “He ordered the same dishes as you.”

Gu Yan naturally knew which ‘he’ this was, and the hand he was using to hold chopsticks trembled slightly.

Lin Jiarui didn’t expose him, simply saying, “There’s an art exhibition nearby. Come check it out with me after we eat.”

Gu Yan said with some embarrassment, “In all honesty, I don’t have a single artistic bone in my body.”

Lin Jiarui let out a rare laugh and said, “This has nothing to do with whether you understand art or not. Beautiful things are beautiful.”

It wasn’t like Gu Yan had anything else to do, so he nodded and agreed.

After they finished eating, it was still up to Gu Yan to drive, and Qin Zhiyuan’s car also stubbornly kept following behind them. Gu Yan was really starting to suspect that this person had been replaced by someone else; how could the always flawless Qin Zhiyuan actually do something this abnormal?

Lin Jiarui turned around to look a few times and lazily said, “It seems like someone has the same idea as we do and also decided to go see that art exhibition.”

Gu Yan didn’t know how he should explain things and did his best to gloss over it, “I have a bit of a misunderstanding with President Qin… so…”

“I understand.”

With how long Lin Jiarui had been in the circle, how could he have not guessed at such things? He didn’t display any sort of curiosity, simply smiled in his usual indifferent way and raised his head to look at the scenery outside the window, saying, “Most people in the world are like this. When you allow them to take advantage of you, they’re cold and unfeeling, but when you turn cold yourself, then they turn around and want you to take advantage of them[1].”

These words made quite a lot of sense.

But it sounded like they were said from personal experience. Gu Yan couldn’t help but shoot Lin Jiarui a glance and saw that he still had on an expression as if nothing had happened. Gu Yan really couldn’t tell if he was the cold-hearted person or the one being taken advantage.

Young Master Lin wasn’t much interested in most things other than those relating to his film projects, and so this topic quickly came to an end. Afterwards, the two people made some intermittent small talk and, not long later, reached the art gallery. Because it wasn’t a public holiday, few people were at the exhibition, and the light shining on the various pieces of art actually gave it a kind of lonely and desolate flavor.

Gu Yan quietly walked forward, looking at each and every exhibition piece. He really enjoyed some of the statues that used bold and brazen colors, extremely catching to the eye.

Lin Jiarui conversely stopped in front of a landscape painting for a very long time.

The painting depicted a beautiful scene of the sea and sky, with the waves reaching for the heavens in the front, and the blue horizon stretching out as clear as water in the back. Sheer rocks and cliffs were faintly visible in the background, with a seaside villa on the tip of the topmost mountain, reflecting a glimmer of saffron light. Because it was only a few strokes, it was hard to distinguish whether the light was real or an illusion.

Lin Jiarui stared at this one painting with his full attention, as if he had entered that strange and majestic world, and also as if he was immersed in his own hidden memories. If they hadn’t been in a public place, then tears might have actually started rolling down his face.

It was only after a long time later that he seemed to curb his thoughts, turning around to Gu Yan to say with a smile, “The beauty of nature really makes people speechless with reverence.”

Gu Yan immediately voiced his agreement.

However, he internally thought that this painting definitely had a story behind it.

But Lin Jiarui hadn’t probed into his business, so he naturally also wouldn’t ask this person about such private affairs. He simply continued forward to look at the rest of the exhibition. When he walked towards a darkened corner, he suddenly bumped into Qin Zhiyuan.

As if afraid that the other would run, Qin Zhiyuan grabbed Gu Yan’s arm with one hand and said in a low voice, “Let’s talk for a moment.”

Since this person had so persistently chased all the way over here, Gu Yan couldn’t hide even if he wanted to. Besides, he originally had no intention of hiding from Qin Zhiyuan anyway. And so, he said, “In a while, I still need to send Director Lin back. Why don’t we meet later tonight?”

“I’m just afraid that, after you finish looking around this exhibition, you’ll then go eat dinner together.”

Gu Yan laughed when he heard this and said, “I only promised him one meal, or is it that for dinner… President Qin is willing to treat us?”

He had simply been making a joke, but Qin Zhiyuan unexpectedly seemed to take it seriously and said, completely earnest, “All right.”

Gu Yan was stunned. “Don’t you need to return to the company to work?”

“Since I came to see your photoshoot today, of course I already took the day off.”

Qin Zhiyuan had answered as if it was a matter of fact and then directly took Gu Yan to go find Lin Jiarui in order to settle the matter of dinner.

Lin Jiarui didn’t understand what they were playing at, but since he was the one freeloading, he naturally didn’t have any objections. After they finished eating, he also didn’t ask Gu Yan to send him off and leisurely decided to walk home by himself.

Because of this reason, Qin Zhiyuan’s impression of this person improved, and he immediately raised Young Master Lin to the same level as Qin Feng.

The autumn night wind carried with it a slight chill.

Qin Zhiyuan pulled Gu Yan to walk along the sidewalk next to the river. Upon seeing that he was wearing thinner clothes, just as he used to do in the past, Qin Zhiyuan took off his jacket as usual and draped it over him.

Gu Yan didn’t say anything, quietly walking with Qin Zhiyuan, not in a hurry at all to start a conversation.

The two of them walked around the riverbank once, and then twice, both waiting for the other party to start speaking first. In the end, when the night had deepened considerably, Qin Zhiyuan finally opened his mouth to say, “You and Lin Jiarui’s relationship seems to be pretty good.”

“We’ve simply eaten a few meals together, just like a pair of very ordinary friends.”

“Is everyone your friend?”

“The most safe and secure position is that of a friend, since no one will get hurt. What, is that not good enough?”

Qin Zhiyuan frowned and said, “Do you have to use this kind of tone with me?”

“Or else what? Do I have to change to the way I talked to my sugar daddy?” Gu Yan found it laughable and said, “My fees are quite high, I’ll have you know.”

Qin Zhiyuan’s expression changed slightly, and he suddenly reached out a hand to pull Gu Yan into an embrace, his chin resting on the other’s shoulder as he said in a low voice, “It wasn’t like there were no feelings between us before.”

“Hm?”

“In the past, I once wanted to stay with you for a lifetime.”

“Hm.” Unfortunately, it was all just a self-deceptive delusion.

Gu Yan thought for a moment and ultimately didn’t say those last words.

Qin Zhiyuan was still hugging him. Because of this familiar warmth, Qin Zhiyuan was loathe to loosen his hold as he asked, “…Is there any way we can start over again?”

“You should ask yourself this question first.” Gu Yan didn’t struggle, simply reaching out a hand to press it against the other’s chest, asking him in return, “Have you opened up a space in your heart now? I don’t need you to forget a certain person completely, but at least you can’t be indecisive and wishy-washy.”

Qin Zhiyuan opened his mouth but couldn’t actually say anything.

Gu Yan had long known he was simply being impulsive and couldn’t help sighing, “If you still don’t know the answer, then there’s no point in starting over, because this time, I definitely won’t be a supporting role for anyone ever again.”

In an instant, Qin Zhiyuan thought back to the image of Gu Yan saying ‘I love you’ to the camera.

That defenseless appearance after having just dug out his heart and gifted it to another… it was exactly that kind of expression that messed with Qin Zhiyuan’s heart, that made him unable to grab onto it, yet also unable to throw it away, just like a sharp splinter stuck in his heart, choking him with discomfort.

But the Gu Yan right now was pulling away his hands little-by-little and then shirking out of his hold, looking up to meet his gaze and saying, both calmly and regretfully, “So what should be done? I’ve already started moving forward, but you’re still stuck in the same place as before.”

Qin Zhiyuan didn’t understand what he meant.

Gu Yan also wasn’t planning on explaining it. Instead, he simply took off that jacket and returned it to the crook of Qin Zhiyuan’s arm, softly saying, “It’s not healthy to watch too much TV. If you have the time, it’s still better to return home to rest early instead.”

This time, it was still him turning around and leaving first.

Qin Zhiyuan wasn’t sure how many times this was now that he had to watch Gu Yan’s figure as the other left. That person was so afraid of the cold, yet now he was walking alone in the autumn wind, easy and confident, not once looking back.

Qin Zhiyuan’s memory was still stuck on the moment when Gu Yan said ‘I love you’, and it took him a long time to return to reality. He stood there in a daze, feeling the lingering warmth still left on that jacket. Suddenly, he thought that, while he would naturally let go of his feelings for Zhao Xin one day, when that time came, there might not be anyone waiting for him there.

***

Qin Zhiyuan took leave and rested for several days in his house.

He wasn’t actually ill, just too lazy to move. Of course, he also didn’t continue watching Gu Yan’s other acting. Instead, he simply placed that disc into the DVD player and watched that scene of Gu Yan confessing over and over again.

He heard that person say ‘I love you’ countless times.

But whenever Gu Yan revealed that smile on screen and gently poured out those few words, Qin Zhiyuan felt as if his chest was being stabbed; it wasn’t a heart-rending pain but rather something that pierced his heart repeatedly, making him unable to help but admit how unused he was to losing Gu Yan as a companion.

When Zhao Xin got married, he was able to send that person off just like an ordinary friend, but he was somehow unable to do the same thing with Gu Yan. Whether to love him, or to forget him, Qin Zhiyuan had only these two paths that he could walk.

So Qin Zhiyuan decided that he wouldn’t meet Gu Yan for now — at least until he cleared up his own feelings, he wouldn’t go find Gu Yan again. He needed to calm his heart and do his best to get a handle on this relationship.

But he still needed to continue working.

His leave lasted only a few days total, and once it was over, he still had to return to the company dressed neatly in that suit, busily toiling away at all that never-ending work, all the while not looking the least like he was having difficulties in his personal life.

He even found the time to have a meal with Qin Feng.

Since the sex scandal at the beginning of the year, Qin Feng had been dragged home by their father to be taught a lesson and so had been well-behaved for half a year. Recently, as the discipline slackened, he once again began making plans, single-mindedly chasing after that female celebrity called Bai Weiwei. For the sake of getting her a job as a spokesperson for an advertisement, he even specially came to ask for Qin Zhiyuan’s help.

Qin Zhiyuan had always disliked this half-brother of his, but he played the good older brother role to perfection, and other than a certain time when, in a fit of anger, he had ferociously beaten Qin Feng up, he usually granted whatever the other asked for, spoiling this person absolutely rotten to the point of arrogance.

This time was the same. Qin Feng simply had to mention it for Qin Zhiyuan to agree to help. Of course, as a thoughtful older brother, he also didn’t forget to say as a reminder, “You also aren’t so young anymore, so you should try to handle more actual business matters whenever you have the time. Stop chasing all those young celebrities every day. Wasn’t the chaos at the beginning of the year already enough?”

“It was just a little sex scandal, so how bad could it be?” When this matter was brought up, Gu Yan also unavoidably came up, and when Gu Yan was mentioned, Qin Feng’s face also turned red with anger. “Besides, there’s nothing going on at all between me and that surnamed Gu. I just wanted to play with him a little, that’s all. It’s all Lily’s fault with her baseless jealousy, and then the media just went and made things up, so that all those things ended up happening.”

The words ‘play with him’ felt particularly ear-piercing.

Qin Zhiyuan’s eyes darkened, and he handed over a glass of water, saying, “Wash out your mouth a bit.”

Perhaps his tone had been too harsh, as Qin Feng stared blankly for a long while before regaining his senses and saying, “Bro, I remember you also got angry last time because of that surnamed Gu. You can’t have genuine feelings towards him, right? Wait, that can’t be, since you clearly already tossed him aside. And he’s also a man, so if Dad ever finds out… haha.”

Qin Feng’s lips twitched, and he laughed out loud at the schadenfreude.

Qin Zhiyuan then also laughed along, his laugh warm and amiable, refined and gentle, laughing until Qin Feng started feeling scared deep down. Finally, he used those pitch-black eyes to stare at his brother and say, in a feather-soft voice, “Don’t get any ideas about Gu Yan ever again.”

Just this simple, careless sentence made Qin Feng obedient shut up. Although Young Master Qin was usually unbridled to the extreme, he’d lose all his aggression in front of his brother, daring to curse the other only in his heart.

Qin Zhiyuan was still able to continue chatting cheerfully.

But the atmosphere of this meal had changed, and since both of them found it pointless, they quickly separated.

In these past few days, Qin Zhiyuan hadn’t particularly thought of Gu Yan, but now that Qin Feng mentioned the other, it was hard to avoid his own yearning, and so the only thing he could do was think about that person again.

Before he even finished thinking, he received a call from the hospital right when he got home. This was the private hospital he stayed at after the car accident; their service was second to none, and they’d sometimes even take the initiative to contact patients for return checkup visits.

As such, when Qin Zhiyuan picked up the phone, he wasn’t surprised; what he was surprised about was that the person they were searching for was actually Gu Yan. He startled for a moment before remembering that, at the time of the car accident, Gu Yan had still been living at his house. At that time, other than leaving behind his own cell phone number, he had also left Qin Zhiyuan’s landline number.

“Gu Yan has already moved out from here. Why are you looking for him?”

“It’s like this, Mr. Gu hasn’t come to the hospital for his follow-up appointments recently, and he’s even missed his last few treatment sessions. We also haven’t been able to get through to his phone.”

Upon hearing ‘hospital’ and ‘follow-up appointments’, Qin Zhiyuan became dazed, his concentration lapsing as he felt somewhat flustered. He hurried to say, “Ah, he changed his phone number. I can help you get in contact with him.”

After a pause, he then voiced his inner misgivings, “What is he ill with? That he has to get treatment at your hospital?”

“Can I ask who you are…?”

Qin Zhiyuan was afraid that the other wouldn’t be willing to reveal Gu Yan’s situation and so he told a white lie, “I’m his family member.”

“You don’t know? Mr. Gu was injured because of a car accident.” The sweet feminine voice on the other end seemed to strike right into Qin Zhiyuan’s heart with every word, “His injured right hand hasn’t completely recovered and needs long-term therapy.”

[1] Ugh, so 犯賤 is a bit of a difficult word to translate. If you’ve seen stories described with [literally translated] “scum gong and cheap shou”, the 賤 is where the “cheap” comes from — though it’s a much too literal translation in English imo (but makes for a nice shorthand) and probably wouldn’t make much sense to folks who aren’t already familiar with the trope. Basically, it refers to someone who lacks dignity/self-respect and so is often disdained/used by other people. It’s definitely a word with negative connotations and isn’t something you want to call someone willy-nilly. I elected to translate it as “easily taken advantage of” because I didn’t think “undignified”/”lacking self-respect” really seemed to fit in this sentence. 

I actually really enjoy art galleries. I used to prefer science/history museums, but once I figured out the trick to art museums (which is, very simply, only bothering to look at stuff you like LOL), I started liking them a lot more. I think Director Lin here is right in that you don’t need to know art to appreciate a gallery, and I think some people take going to galleries/exhibitions too seriously, haha. Just look at stuff that grab your attention and don’t pay attention to stuff that don’t!!

How long will Qin Zhiyuan continue to be a clown, you may ask? Click to find out!
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