Chapter 92 Red
This bonus chapter is dedicated to @MonsterUnderTheBed! Thank you so much for thr supergift!! <3
Sebastian was still unable to relax even after Lorna had given her diagnosis. r
His own reaction at that moment when he saw her tears was… it was shocking. Simply inexplicable. She had done it again. To think that he would be able to feel like that just by seeing her cry. Just with those tears, they were enough to evoke such another violent emotion within him. And to think he had nearly panicked just because… just because he had felt her skin so cold to the touch. F**k… he was really screwed. This woman had truly screwed him over so bad. r
And now here he was, not knowing quite what to do. Not knowing what to even say. He could only stay still and hold her close to him, imparting as much warmth to her chilled body as he could. Because he was afraid that whatever he was going to do or say, would only make her feel worse. He had never wanted to see that look on her face crying like… like he had made her so miserable. F**k… had he really made her so miserable? All he wanted was to protect her. To have her as his. r
He had already decided to claim this woman for himself. Because he truly wanted her, and he was afraid that she would run away screaming once she found out the truth. He did not want that to happen because… because he would not be able to let go of her! He could feel he would never be able to let go if she suddenly decides to leave after knowing the truth. That was how crazy he was for her right now. r
He had thought that it was fine if she gets angry with him. He could and would do everything she wanted to ease her anger later. He also knew she could get lonely and bored and maybe even get hurt. But he had thought that was normal. He had already though to make up to her later for those too. He was confident that he could deal with her unhappiness, her tantrums. He was confident that one day he could make her never want to leave his side. He would make her his. Fully his and his alone. r
But when he had seen her cry earlier, and that hurt in her eyes had created a serious crack in his confidence. He was so wrong to think that he could stand any reactions or emotions that she showed him. He could not f**king stand it. The thought that he was unknowingly making her so miserable was… the feeling was f**king suffocating. He had never thought that he would ever feel like this. He had never thought that things would end up like this. r
The room was silent for a long time. He honestly did not know how long. He had lost concept of time – at least for now. The only thing that could be heard were the crackle from the fireplace from time to time, his steady breathing and hers that were sometimes punctuated with a sniffle here and there.r
He did not make any sounds and just held her close to him. Holding her securely wrapped in the blanket. He did not move too, until her tight grip on his shirt suddenly loosened, indicating that she must have had fallen asleep. Slowly bending his head to look down at her, he saw that her eyes were closed. r
Sebastian listened to her heartbeats as he continued holding her, still not moving. He did not want to disturb her rest. As he listened, he noticed her breathing was now steady but at times, they still shook a little. He knew how much she had cried from the wet patch that was still there on his shirt. r
A long while later, he moved her into a more comfortable position. But she was still in his arms though. r
He stared silently and contemplatively at her tear-stained face. She looked so pitiful and as though she had been so wronged. His dark and hard face softened a little as he started brushing her fiery hair back, albeit a little absentmindedly. r
"I… honestly don't know how to deal with you from here on…" he suddenly muttered. "You're like an unexpected trouble I just somehow found myself landing into and…" he smiled disbelievingly, "I'm usually really good at dealing with troubles. But f**k, this is the first time I've come across a trouble of your caliber. You're a… dangerous little creature, Izabelle. Nothing and no one could even come close to being compared to you. I can already tell that you're a massive trouble that would drive me right into the brink of madness. You're such a vivid red for me, baby… and I know that I too, am a bloody red flag for you. But f**k me because I still want you so bad even knowing that so clearly. I'm afraid I'm starting to become obsessed with you. Or maybe I already am. I think I already am… Izabelle…" r
He shut his eyes tightly closed. His brows creasing hard and meeting together in the middle of his forehead as if something had made him feel as though he was in turmoil. r
"I don't want you to become miserable. I don't think I could ever stand it…" He muttered softly to himself before he opened his eyes and let out a long deep breath. r
After another long stretch of utter silence, Sebastian felt that Elle's body was getting warmer and warmer. r
She had also started to make small and almost inaudible sounds in her sleep as she attempted to make movements in his arms. r
Thinking that she might be starting to get uncomfortable in that somewhat upright position he was holding her in, Sebastian reluctantly stood up and went to tuck her back into the bed. r
He put her down ever so gently and then covered her with the blanket. She then stopped moving around. r
"Was being in my arms so uncomfortable for you?" he asked a little bitterly as he remember how she had hugged that f**king wolf so happily in her sleep like a bolster. He had been so upset that he had ordered the wolf to be brought outside of their room for now. r
He then walked towards the window and stared out into the darkness. He brought his cigarette out but suddenly killed the lighter before it could even touch his cigarette. r
His mind wandered about what he would do, what he would say, once she wakes up. He must come to a decision tonight whether he should finally reveal everything to her or not. Right now, there was actually no better choice than that and he could not help but feel troubled, wondering if he would end up regretting or making things worse again between them. r
It took him so long before he finally walked back to their bed, only to frown at the sight of Elle sweating profusely.
____
Goal for month of September: top 1 in GT ranking = mass release
Sebastian was still unable to relax even after Lorna had given her diagnosis. r
His own reaction at that moment when he saw her tears was… it was shocking. Simply inexplicable. She had done it again. To think that he would be able to feel like that just by seeing her cry. Just with those tears, they were enough to evoke such another violent emotion within him. And to think he had nearly panicked just because… just because he had felt her skin so cold to the touch. F**k… he was really screwed. This woman had truly screwed him over so bad. r
And now here he was, not knowing quite what to do. Not knowing what to even say. He could only stay still and hold her close to him, imparting as much warmth to her chilled body as he could. Because he was afraid that whatever he was going to do or say, would only make her feel worse. He had never wanted to see that look on her face crying like… like he had made her so miserable. F**k… had he really made her so miserable? All he wanted was to protect her. To have her as his. r
He had already decided to claim this woman for himself. Because he truly wanted her, and he was afraid that she would run away screaming once she found out the truth. He did not want that to happen because… because he would not be able to let go of her! He could feel he would never be able to let go if she suddenly decides to leave after knowing the truth. That was how crazy he was for her right now. r
He had thought that it was fine if she gets angry with him. He could and would do everything she wanted to ease her anger later. He also knew she could get lonely and bored and maybe even get hurt. But he had thought that was normal. He had already though to make up to her later for those too. He was confident that he could deal with her unhappiness, her tantrums. He was confident that one day he could make her never want to leave his side. He would make her his. Fully his and his alone. r
But when he had seen her cry earlier, and that hurt in her eyes had created a serious crack in his confidence. He was so wrong to think that he could stand any reactions or emotions that she showed him. He could not f**king stand it. The thought that he was unknowingly making her so miserable was… the feeling was f**king suffocating. He had never thought that he would ever feel like this. He had never thought that things would end up like this. r
The room was silent for a long time. He honestly did not know how long. He had lost concept of time – at least for now. The only thing that could be heard were the crackle from the fireplace from time to time, his steady breathing and hers that were sometimes punctuated with a sniffle here and there.r
He did not make any sounds and just held her close to him. Holding her securely wrapped in the blanket. He did not move too, until her tight grip on his shirt suddenly loosened, indicating that she must have had fallen asleep. Slowly bending his head to look down at her, he saw that her eyes were closed. r
Sebastian listened to her heartbeats as he continued holding her, still not moving. He did not want to disturb her rest. As he listened, he noticed her breathing was now steady but at times, they still shook a little. He knew how much she had cried from the wet patch that was still there on his shirt. r
A long while later, he moved her into a more comfortable position. But she was still in his arms though. r
He stared silently and contemplatively at her tear-stained face. She looked so pitiful and as though she had been so wronged. His dark and hard face softened a little as he started brushing her fiery hair back, albeit a little absentmindedly. r
"I… honestly don't know how to deal with you from here on…" he suddenly muttered. "You're like an unexpected trouble I just somehow found myself landing into and…" he smiled disbelievingly, "I'm usually really good at dealing with troubles. But f**k, this is the first time I've come across a trouble of your caliber. You're a… dangerous little creature, Izabelle. Nothing and no one could even come close to being compared to you. I can already tell that you're a massive trouble that would drive me right into the brink of madness. You're such a vivid red for me, baby… and I know that I too, am a bloody red flag for you. But f**k me because I still want you so bad even knowing that so clearly. I'm afraid I'm starting to become obsessed with you. Or maybe I already am. I think I already am… Izabelle…" r
He shut his eyes tightly closed. His brows creasing hard and meeting together in the middle of his forehead as if something had made him feel as though he was in turmoil. r
"I don't want you to become miserable. I don't think I could ever stand it…" He muttered softly to himself before he opened his eyes and let out a long deep breath. r
After another long stretch of utter silence, Sebastian felt that Elle's body was getting warmer and warmer. r
She had also started to make small and almost inaudible sounds in her sleep as she attempted to make movements in his arms. r
Thinking that she might be starting to get uncomfortable in that somewhat upright position he was holding her in, Sebastian reluctantly stood up and went to tuck her back into the bed. r
He put her down ever so gently and then covered her with the blanket. She then stopped moving around. r
"Was being in my arms so uncomfortable for you?" he asked a little bitterly as he remember how she had hugged that f**king wolf so happily in her sleep like a bolster. He had been so upset that he had ordered the wolf to be brought outside of their room for now. r
He then walked towards the window and stared out into the darkness. He brought his cigarette out but suddenly killed the lighter before it could even touch his cigarette. r
His mind wandered about what he would do, what he would say, once she wakes up. He must come to a decision tonight whether he should finally reveal everything to her or not. Right now, there was actually no better choice than that and he could not help but feel troubled, wondering if he would end up regretting or making things worse again between them. r
It took him so long before he finally walked back to their bed, only to frown at the sight of Elle sweating profusely.
____
Goal for month of September: top 1 in GT ranking = mass release
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