Chapter Eigh

Azalea

It's been three days. This terrible ache has been growing steadily worse each day. It was agonizing. During the day, I flit around the Inn, taking care of chores and clerical work. As soon possible, I go back to my apartment, put on his sweatshirt, and lay in bed. His scent still clings to it. It almost calms me enough to relax. I am terrified this won’t go away.

I just can’t understand this. My wolf is gone. She left me years ago. I should basically be human now. I shouldn’t feel any wolfy-mate-bond type feelings anymore. Then there is the rejection. He said he rejected me.

I did everything I was supposed to. I worked hard to earn my place in the packhouse. I tried to stay out of their way. When it was time for me to leave, I did. I did not fight them. He rejected me, and I let him. He asked me not to hate him. I don’t hate him; I swear I don’t hate him.

I lay in bed, trying to force my body to get up and move. I managed to get up and dressed, walking into the Inn kitchen before breakfast was served. “Coffee. Where is it?” I ask Amy, and she starts making me a plate of food.

“Over on the prep table. You look like shit,” she says, coming over to me with a plate of food. I didn’t have the heart to tell her I couldn’t stomach it.

I sipped my coffee, ignoring the food next to me. “I have a bug or something. Really, I’ll be okay. Probably just need to let it work its way out of me,” I try to reassure her.

At that moment, Mr. Greyback came staggering into the kitchen. “Go home. You look like shit,” he said, looking for the coffee pot.

“Good morning to you too, sir. Can I get you a cup of coffee?” I reply as sweetly as I can muster.

“Don’t sass me, Azalea. I am the boss around here, and I say go home.” Amy looked at me, raising an eyebrow.

“Mr. Greyback, I’ll be okay. Plus, we have three check-ins coming by lunch today.”

“Oh, never mind that. I’ll call that high school girlie in that you found. She does fine enough.”

“That really won't be necessary. Already feeling better!” I lied to them. Amy walked out to the dining area with trays of breakfast food.

“Now you listen here. You need to call that pigheaded Alpha and get him back here. And close that mouth. If you didn’t know for this long, there’s more wrong with you than I thought. Now go.”

I stared at Mr. Greyback in utter shock. Is he a wolf? Did he know this whole time? I closed my mouth and moved towards the door, taking the coffee with me. Mr. Greyback continued to shoo me until he was satisfied with how close to my apartment I got.

I guess I had no choice; I had to call him. I had to figure out why this was still happening. Oh, Goddess, I hope we can fix this without having to see each other.

Liam

ARGHHHH. I throw my desk lamp across the room and watch it shatter against the wall. The only thing in my office that I haven’t broken would be my desk. I have been going crazy since I last saw her. It is everything I can do not to let Gavin take control.

My desk phone starts ringing. I ignore it, hoping that it's not important. It begins ringing again. “WHATTTTTT!” I roar into the phone as I answer.

“I-I-I um j-just uh…” a voice stammered quietly.

“SPIT IT OUT NOW!”

“I can call b-back a different time….” I heard her soft voice say. A sense of calming washed over me.

“Azalea…” I breathed, her name like a lifeline coming from my lips. She paused. “Please say something,” I begged.

“Hi, Alpha Liam,” she said.

“Hi. Look, I am sorry. I shouldn’t have answered that way.”

“No reason to apologize, Alpha.” I sighed. She was so formal.

“So, um, what do you need?” I asked.

“I-I think we need to talk.”

“Are we not currently?” I snapped.

“Th-that’s not-”

“I know. Sorry. We need to talk about this mate thing. That is what you mean.”

“Yes, sir.” I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. I don’t know if I can see her without doing something I will regret. Both of us were silent for a moment.

“If n-now isn’t a good time…” she began.

“No, no. Whenever is good for you. I guess I can come to you. We can meet for lunch, maybe?”

“Oh, um, o-okay, I guess. When?” she asks in a quivering voice.

“I can be there in an hour. Is that too soon?” I ask cautiously.

“No, Alpha. That will be great. I will have a table reserved for you. I will see you then.” She began to hang up the phone.

“Wait, Azalea!” I stopped her. “I promise I won’t hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you.”

The other line went dead as she hung up. I don’t know exactly where this is going, but I will see her again. For now, that was enough.

-

I walked into the Inn more nervous than ever. When I told Damien I needed to go out for the rest of the day, he nodded with a knowing look. I can’t bring her back to the pack, but I can’t deny the large part of me that wants to. I approach the reception desk where the old man is sitting. “You know where the dining room is, boy,” he says.

“You know I am your Alpha, right?” I ask.

“So? Fix whatever you did to that girl. She works hard. She didn’t ask for problems. Let her get her happiness,” he replied gruffly. I had no response; I nodded and turned towards the dining room. I rejected her three years ago so she could be happy.

I walked into the dining room to see her placing menus and flower vases on tables. She was breathtaking. Her long hair was pulled up into a high ponytail that swayed as she moved. She didn’t know I was there because she just continued to arrange tables.

“Ahem.” I cleared my throat. She stopped moving. I could see her take a deep breath before turning to me. She looked down at the floor as she approached me.

“Hello, Alpha,” she greeted me, still looking down.

I reached, placing my finger under her chin, lifting her face to meet mine. “Liam. It’s just Liam to you, Azalea. Please. You don’t have to be formal with me.” She nodded. “So uh, where would you like to talk?” I asked hesitantly.

“Uh, well, we should probably have this exact conversation in the back. Away from others.” I could feel the nervousness around her. She didn’t want to be alone with me but didn’t have much choice in a human town.

“Lead the way. I will go wherever you want, Azalea.” She led us through the kitchen doors. We walked through the kitchen to a backdoor that led outside. Once outside, we made our way across the lawn, heading toward her little cottage. She stopped at her front door.

“I am sorry, it’s small. But it’s away from everyone else. We will be alone without interruption,” she said over her shoulder.

“Azalea, before I come in, are you sure you want to be alone with me? I can take you to the packhouse or somewhere else-”

“No!” she said quickly. “No. This is o-okay. I’m okay.” She opened her door and stepped back. I stepped inside, and my nose immediately flooded with her scent. I stood for a moment, just breathing it in. No one else came here. I could smell no other people; this was only her place.

“I am sorry, I don’t have much in the way of furniture. Please take the chair,” she said, offering me the chair from her desk. I shook my head at her. For a moment, we just stood there looking at each other. My body yearned to touch her.

“So I-” she started

“Can I-” I started at the same time. She nodded at me, telling me to start.

“Azalea. Before we talk, can I ask something of you?” I asked. She nodded to me. “Please, my wolf is at war with me. Just for a moment, let me hold you?” I could see her eyes widen and her face pale slightly. I wouldn’t be able to concentrate on what she needed until I wasn’t fighting every fiber of my being to touch her.

Slowly she nodded. I moved closer to her, gently holding my hand out to her. She placed her hand in mine and allowed me to pull her small frame into my large one. As soon as I held her body to mine, every muscle began to relax. Peace began to wash over me; I breathed deeply, taking in her flowery scent. I never wanted to move or let her go. She felt so fragile in my arms. I was reconsidering my choice to free her of me. I could feel her body relax under my touch. I could feel her shaking subside, and her breathing relax.

I began to pull away, but she grabbed onto my shirt. “Um, please,” she said.

“Anything, Azalea. Just ask.”

“I, um, I don’t feel well. This made it a little better. Do you think…” she trailed off, not wanting to ask me.

“I will hold you as long as you’ll let me, Azalea. I told you, I won't ever hurt you,” I told her.

She nodded her head, not moving away from my body. After another moment, I gently bent down and picked her up in my arms. I carried her over to her bed and laid her down. I slipped off my shoes and laid next to her. I pulled her into my body, making sure she would be warm. She released an audible sigh in content.

This was a huge mistake, but nothing had ever felt so right. I held her until her breathing evened out and she was asleep. I let her sleep on me, enjoying the feeling of her in my arms. My body calmed itself the longer we stayed like this. The void in my chest that has been ever-growing since my 17th birthday was easing itself.

Soon, my eyes fell, and I drifted off to sleep. I didn't know what to expect when she did wake up, but I knew everything was changing. I was going to have to fight for her; I could not leave her alone anymore. I had to find a reason to be in her life.

Azalea

I woke up to knocking at my door. I picked my head up, trying to remember what had happened. I realized I was lying on something solid but warm. I looked down to see strong arms around me. I followed those arms up to find Liam sound asleep. He was different than before. The tension in his eyes was gone; he looked at peace in his sleep. I wanted to reach up and stroke his cheek, but another round of knocking broke me from my thoughts.

"Just a second," I said softly, hoping whoever was at the door could hear. I gingerly wiggled my way out of his arms and climbed out of bed. I stood up, straightening my clothes.

Wow. All the pain and heaviness in my body was gone. Even that ache in my chess was almost gone. I hurried over to the door, easing it open gently. To my surprise, there stood John.

"Well, hello, Miss Lea. I didn't see you up at the Inn. I asked Miss Amy, and she said you weren't feeling well this morning," he said with a warm smile.

"Oh yeah, I am feeling much better now. Just needed a nap, I guess!" I told him. I hoped that Liam wouldn't wake up. Not that John and I were anything more than acquaintances.

"Well, Miss Amy sent this back for you. Said you hadn't eaten your breakfast, and it's well past lunch now," he said, handing me a small container.

"How sweet. Thank you for bringing this to me. Please, tell her I said thanks, and I will see her in the morning," I told him. I felt Liam's presence behind me. "Good night John," I said, trying to close the door.

John put his hand on the door, stopping me. "You know I'm here for whatever you need, Miss Lea. I worry about you back here, all alone. Those woods have some unsavory creatures running around in them."

I could feel the power and anger rolling off Liam. Oh no. I needed to get John out of here. Liam said he wouldn't hurt me, but I didn't know how far I could trust him.

"You're lovely to worry, but I will be okay. I have been living back here for two years now. Plus, you know I spend most of my time up at the Inn. Come by for lunch tomorrow; it's on me," I said to him, trying to close the door again. His hand didn't move.

"I would never make a lady pay. A man should never hurt a woman," he said with a serious tone.

"I quite agree. I would never let anything hurt Azalea," Liam said, opening the door wider. He moved his hand to my waist as he stepped up to my body. I did my best to hold myself together.  I smiled at John, willing him to walk away.

His eyes locked with Liam's. There was some unspoken challenge going on here. John had no idea how unmatched he was. Not only was Liam physically larger than him, but he was also a wolf. And Alphas were far stronger and faster than ordinary wolves. He had also been training to fight since he could walk.

John seemed to realize that Liam was not having him here because he dropped his hand. "I see you already have some company. I'll take you up on that lunch date tomorrow. Don't leave me hanging now. I don't know if my heart could handle your rejection," he said. With a wink and smile, he turned to leave.

Liam released his grip from the door, and I closed it slowly, not daring to move from the spot. His hand on my hip was warm and comforting, but his grip was tight and uncomfortable. I could tell he was struggling with himself. We just stood there for a moment.

"Could you…" I started quietly.

His hand immediately came off my waist and backed away. "Azalea… I... I just…" he stammered. "SHIT!" he said more aggressively. I slowly turned around to face him. "Please, Azalea. Say something."

I looked up at him. He had his hand in his hair and his other hand on his hip. He looked worried. I didn't understand why, he was an Alpha. I'm sure he was accustomed to taking whatever he pleased, including women. Why was I any different?

I shook my head. His eyes held some emotion I couldn't read. I took the container of food over to the kitchen counter and set it down. I went to my desk and began rummaging through my drawers. He watched me the entire time, saying nothing. After searching through my drawers, I found what I was looking for.

I walked over to him. I held out the faded envelope looking down at the floor. He reached out, placing a finger under my chin, lifting my eyes to meet his. "I am begging you, please don't be afraid to look me in the eye. Please don't be afraid of me, Azalea."

We stood there for a moment with our eyes locked.  "What is this for?" he asked after a moment.

"I am returning your money with interest. It took me some time to earn it all back. I appreciate your help. The money for the room at the Inn is there as well. It took me a while to figure out how much the old man got you for, but I did." I searched his face for some sign of a reaction. He stepped back from me, putting his hands in his pocket.

"No," he said. What does he mean no? I looked at him, reaching forward with the envelope. He shook his head at me. "No, Azalea. That money was yours. It was never mine."

"I can't. You have to take it back," I told him.

"I won't. That money was for you. Now put it away."

“Please take it back L-Liam,” I stuttered.

“I just can’t, Azalea.”

“Why not?” I asked, feeling hurt. I didn’t want to owe him anything; I didn’t want to owe anyone. I could probably never repay Mr. Greyback for all his kindness, but I work my hardest every day to make it up to him. This I could pay back, though.

He sighed, “Because it was rightfully yours. That night we came into your room, we should never have broken your things and taken your money. When I saw you in the bathrooms, I knew we went too far,” he paused. His eyes held so many things; I knew he was looking for the right thing to say.

“I never had any right to those things,” I said, looking down. “Alpha and Luna were so kind to give me a place to live, to allow me to remain in the pack. Those things were all things that I stole from donations and trash. They were not mine to take. All the money, well, that was stolen too. I would find change in the dryers or along the sidewalk on my walk to school. I collected it and saved it to help me when I was kicked out. It was never my money. I should have never taken it in the first place.”

He walked over and stood in front of me, our bodies inches from each other. Something inside me wanted to bury my face in his chest. I looked up cautiously. He looked into my eyes for a long moment.

“Azalea, I can’t take the money. You had every right to those belongings, no matter how you got them. My parents did not take care of you. Your room couldn’t even be called a room. You didn’t have a home. You should have never had to take money from the sidewalk and the laundry to save. And the pack members, including me, should never have treated you so poorly. Azalea, I cannot tell you how sorry I am and how badly I regret my behavior."

I took a moment to process what he was saying. I shook my head. "You're wrong, Liam. I am a traitor. Your parents should have cast me out after my parent's death. They took mercy on me. I wouldn't be alive today if they hadn't. Let's face it; I am not strong like other wolves. I couldn't do anything if a human attacked me, let alone becoming a rogue. You never held any obligations towards me. You didn't have to let me remain here with the humans. You could have cast me out after your birthday. But I am glad you didn't. I am so grateful that I have been able to stay here. I just want to stop living with this pain in my heart. That's all that I need to ask of you. I know you rejected me, but I don't know if it worked. Maybe it's different for broken wolves. Please, take the money back and help me to be okay. I don't need a happily ever after. I just want to be okay."

He searched my eyes for what I didn't know. He reached out, putting his hand on my cheek. His hand nearly swallowed my face.

Liam

Her words were breaking me. I wanted her to have her happily ever after; I wanted to be that happily ever after. I want to protect her and cherish her. I wanted to prove to her that I could be the man and wolf she deserved. I wanted to take away her pain and worries.

She was wrong. My parents should have done better for her. She was treated like garbage. I confronted my father about six months after taking over as Alpha about all this.

-

My mom was hosting yet another little gathering for unmated she-wolves to come to our territory and look for their possible mates in our pack. I knew her real motivator was finding my mate. I couldn't tell her about Azalea. It wasn't likely I would be getting a second chance.

My mom invited this particularly annoying daughter of a neighboring pack's Alpha. To say she had never been told no in her life didn't come close to her attitude. She clung to me the moment she arrived, hanging from my arm and trying to garner my full attention desperately. I was polite at first. Quickly, I was getting fed up with this charade, though. I was in a nasty mood that weekend because we had found information informing us of hunters staying in our territory. This was never good for wolves.

By Sunday evening, I just wanted to be alone. I was sitting in my office reading some reports when she came in. "Can I help you, Gabrielle?" I asked her, irritated. No one walks into my office without knocking, not even Damien.

"I was thinking," she said, coming around my desk, "maybe I should stay for a while. Get to know you a little better. I think you'll find we would make a great team. I am the daughter of an Alpha after all." She turned my chair to face her and climbed into my lap, straddling me.

"Gabrielle, I think you have the wrong idea-" I began.

"Oh, hush. You know you want me. Rumor is you haven't found a mate. I'll be your mate, baby. You can't get better. You'll have pure breed Alpha pups." She leaned over to kiss me. She captured my lips before I knew what was happening. Her kiss was revolting. Her scent made me gag. I quickly grabbed her and pulled her off, standing up and placing her on the floor.

"You should go. I'm sure your father and pack have missed you. Make sure to say goodbye to my mother before you go," I said, walking around my desk and heading for the door.

Later, she went to my mother, claiming she felt the mate bond, and I rejected her. My mother was curious, but my father was on a whole new level. He met me in my office the following day, just waiting for me. We fought about my decisions as Alpha when he finally got to the point. He told me I will always be weak without my Luna, and he regretted giving me the Alpha title. He wanted me to accept Gabrielle and mark her right away.

He wasn't happy when I refused. I was so angry I told him about Azalea. I told him that I tricked him into letting her go, and I took care of her expenses until she was on her feet. I told him I rejected her to keep her safe and that I wouldn't accept another even if the Moon Goddess gave me another mate.

He left my office furious with me. My father and I have been at odds since. I don't believe he ever told my mother because her efforts to find me a mate have continued.

-

I moved close to her. I brought my other hand to her cheek and held her tiny, beautiful face in it. Sparks ignited everywhere our skin touched. She involuntarily leaned into my touch.

"I don't understand this either, Azalea. I still feel the bond. Your scent is like air, and I didn't know I've been suffocating for three years now. Touching you sparks something in me. I made a mistake, a lot of them actually. I could spend my whole life trying to make it up to you, and it wouldn't be enough. I will do anything you ask. Except take the money back. I will help figure out why this bond is still there. I will help you find out why you have these feelings even without a wolf. I want to make you happy if you will give me a chance." I could not promise to reject her again; I honestly didn't know if I physically could. Just the thought of rejecting her a second time made me want to die.

She was quiet for a moment before she reached up, grabbing my hand and moving it away from her face but not letting go of it. "Why? Why now? Why me?" she asked quietly. She looked down and sniffled.

"Please don't cry," I whispered. She looked up at me with tears brimming her eyes. I felt like I was going to vomit.

"Do you trust me?" I asked. She didn't answer at first.

Finally, she said, "I don't know."

"That's fair. I haven't done anything ever to earn your trust."

We stood there for a moment. Every inch of me wanted to hold her and never let the world hurt her again. After a few minutes, she stepped back.

"What happens now?" she asked as she dropped my hand.

"Well, you are in the driver's seat here. I think the first thing is I should take you to see the pack doctor. He might be able to help us figure out what is happening."

Her eyes grew large and scared. She shook her head slightly. "I-I don't th-think-"

"I won't make you go back to the pack, not if you don't want to. Not if you don't feel safe," I said quickly. I could see her visibly relax. "I will bring the pack doctor here or wherever you like. If you decide to come to the pack for any reason, I promise I will stay with you the entire time. I wouldn't leave you alone if you didn't want me to. I don't have to tell anyone about this."

She nodded her head. "Do you want me to bring the pack doctor here? Maybe tomorrow?"

"Yes, please. Thank you, Liam," she said quietly.

I nodded my head. "I should probably go," I said, turning around.

I got to her door and placed my hand on the knob. "Wait! I-I…" she stammered. I turned around. She looked down, playing with the hem of her shirt.

"Will you, um, stay and lay with me for a bit? I-I just …" she trailed off. I thought my heart was going to leap out of my chest. I nodded at her. She didn't move an inch.

After a moment, I walked over to her and picked her up in my arms. She laid her head on my chest, closing her eyes. I climbed into the bed, sitting against her headboard. I held her in my arms; her delicate body curled up against me. I would sit here as long as she wanted me.

"Azalea?" I said, hoping she was still awake.

"Mmm," she hummed.

"The little girl from that day…. Just… I mean… is she yours?" I asked, terrified. I don't know if I could handle her having another man's baby.

"No," she said softly. A weight lifted from my shoulders that I didn't know was there. Perhaps this meant our bond wasn't broken and could be fixed. Maybe she would accept me.

I stroked her hair lightly as her breathing evened out. She moved on me, bringing her head up to my shoulder, and burying her face into my neck. I could feel her breathing right where her mark should go.

Every part of me wanted to kiss her, to feel her lips against mine. The longer she stayed there, the harder I became. I wanted to feel her body against mine; I wanted to feel her soft skin in my hands, her round ass in my grasp. I wanted to claim her. I wanted to taste her. I wanted to make her body scream. I wanted to feel my d**k inside her. I wanted to mark her. I wanted to hear her scream my name in pleasure.

I needed to get myself under control. I had to take this slow.