Chapter Twenty Seven
So far, this has been the best trip I could imagine. Liam turned on some fun music as we drove, and it wasn’t long before we fell into comfortable conversation and laughter. After about 30 minutes of driving, Liam had reached over and held my hand. He hadn’t made a move to let it go over an hour later.
“How you feeling, baby?” he asked for about the tenth time.
“Liam, I already told you when you asked 10 minutes ago. I am wonderful. Not nauseous at all,” I told him with a smile.
“Good, just want to make sure. If you need a break, just let me know. We can stop anytime you need,” he reassured me. I smiled warmly at him.
Before he came back to the Inn, I never knew how thoughtful and sweet he was. The only time he had ever shown me any genuine kindness was the night my bedroom at the packhouse was torn apart.
I thought back to that time with a slight shiver. Everything was so different. I always feared Liam the most, knowing he would take over as Alpha and would have the power to cast me out. It did not help how absurdly large he was compared to me back then. But the night he found me in the bathroom, he was gentle. Even if I was terrified at the time, some part of me felt better after his help.
“What’s on your mind, sweetheart?” he asked, startling me from my thoughts.
“Oh, it's nothing,” I said with a fake smile. I hoped he wouldn’t see right through it, and I was wrong.
“Your face betrays you. Please tell me?”
I sighed. “I was just thinking about how scared I used to be of you, and about how different you were when we were growing up.” I peered over at him, hoping he wouldn’t be upset with me.
A serious look came over his face. “There is no excuse for my behavior, and I do not want you to believe I am making one. But, growing up as the Alpha’s son came with a lot of expectations. Expectations that were not easy to live up to. I grew up a lot after rejecting you, honestly. A lot of things fell into a new perspective for me after I found out you were my mate,” he confessed.
I looked down at our hands which were still intertwined, resting in my lap. “What new perspective?” I asked, not wanting to make eye contact with him. I could feel his gaze on me briefly before he turned his eyes back to the road. He remained quiet for a few minutes.
Finally, he explained, “Growing up, my father never showed mercy or weakness. And our pack grew in strength. But there was always something that made us incomplete. I trained endlessly to live up to his expectations, to be a merciless and strong Alpha. When I took the title, I slowly began to realize that our leadership was missing compassion. My father thought nothing of banishing you to be a rogue. He thought nothing of the fact that you could not have survived. He thought nothing of the fact that you had never shifted or were smaller than a wolf should be. Our pack respected my father as a strong Alpha, but they were also afraid of him. I started to be challenged in small ways to test whether people should fear me after taking the title. I had to show the pack they should respect me but not fear me. It took a long time, but I think we are stronger now. There are still those who think I am weak for showing mercy so far during my leadership.” As he finished, I could feel his gaze on me again.
I wasn’t sure what to think. If we hadn't been mates, would he have fulfilled his father’s wish and banished me? Would I have been cast out of the pack to be a rogue? Would they have let me leave willingly? These thoughts swirled my head as I felt the car slow down and pull to the side of the road. I looked up at Liam, confused.
After putting the car in park, he turned to me, grabbing both of my hands in his. “Azalea, I want you to know that just by existing, you made me a better Alpha and man. I cannot promise it would have happened quickly, but even if I wouldn’t have found you as my mate, I don’t believe I would have cast you out as a rogue. But it doesn’t matter now. That night, my birthday, my entire world shifted. I saw everything in a new light, including myself. My father failed in being an Alpha and raising me to be one. It should have never been a question of rejecting you….”
I could feel tears threatening to spill over my lashes as he finished. Liam let my hands go to undo my seat belt. He then grabbed me by my waist and picked me up, transferring me to his lap like I weighed nothing. He pulled me into his chest and wrapped hugged me close. Finally, he whispered, “I just want to be a better man for you. I want to be someone who deserves you.”
I looked up at him with stray tears staining my face. Thinking about my childhood and living in the pack hurt and scared me. Thinking about his rejection was even worse. But to know he truly wished things had been different and he was different than his father shifted something in my heart. I reached up and placed my hand on his cheek, kissing him fiercely. I wasn’t ready to tell him I loved him, but I could kiss him, so I did.
He mirrored my kiss with just as much feeling, tangling his fingers into my hair and holding my head to his. When we finally broke apart, he leaned his forehead against mine as we caught our breaths. He ran his fingers soothingly over my cheeks. “I don’t deserve you,” he whispered.
I shook my head at him. He sighed as if he knew what I would say, and he didn’t want to argue. With that, he gave me a swift kiss on my forehead before transferring me back to the passenger seat.
“We should keep moving,” he said, starting the car. He once again intertwined our fingers and lay our hands in my lap. His thumb soothingly skimmed the top of my knuckles back and forth. Neither of us had much to say now, so we listened to the radio as Liam continued our drive. At some point, my eyes began to droop, and I fell into a light sleep.
What felt like only minutes later, I felt my body lifted out of my seat and into a warm, comfortable chest. I inhaled deeply, comforted by the soothing forest scent. My eyes fluttered open, and I looked up into a pair of crystal blue eyes.
“You can sleep, baby,” he said with a smile. I nodded my head, snuggling further into his chest. That earned me a soft chuckle that resonated throughout his broad, muscular chest. I felt him carrying me into the house. After a few moments, he laid me on the softest bed I had ever felt before, covering me up. I reached out to grab his hand.
Before I could say anything, he said, “I will be right back, kitten. I just want to get your bag from the car. Stay right here, okay?”
“Mmmm,” I agreed, releasing his hand. I snuggled deeper into the blanket, enjoying the luxurious bed. Only a few minutes later, I felt the other side of the bed shift, and Liam’s comforting scent surrounded me. It was quickly followed by his arms pulling me into his warm, hard chest. My body melted into his as I let myself fall into a beautiful, deep sleep.
“How you feeling, baby?” he asked for about the tenth time.
“Liam, I already told you when you asked 10 minutes ago. I am wonderful. Not nauseous at all,” I told him with a smile.
“Good, just want to make sure. If you need a break, just let me know. We can stop anytime you need,” he reassured me. I smiled warmly at him.
Before he came back to the Inn, I never knew how thoughtful and sweet he was. The only time he had ever shown me any genuine kindness was the night my bedroom at the packhouse was torn apart.
I thought back to that time with a slight shiver. Everything was so different. I always feared Liam the most, knowing he would take over as Alpha and would have the power to cast me out. It did not help how absurdly large he was compared to me back then. But the night he found me in the bathroom, he was gentle. Even if I was terrified at the time, some part of me felt better after his help.
“What’s on your mind, sweetheart?” he asked, startling me from my thoughts.
“Oh, it's nothing,” I said with a fake smile. I hoped he wouldn’t see right through it, and I was wrong.
“Your face betrays you. Please tell me?”
I sighed. “I was just thinking about how scared I used to be of you, and about how different you were when we were growing up.” I peered over at him, hoping he wouldn’t be upset with me.
A serious look came over his face. “There is no excuse for my behavior, and I do not want you to believe I am making one. But, growing up as the Alpha’s son came with a lot of expectations. Expectations that were not easy to live up to. I grew up a lot after rejecting you, honestly. A lot of things fell into a new perspective for me after I found out you were my mate,” he confessed.
I looked down at our hands which were still intertwined, resting in my lap. “What new perspective?” I asked, not wanting to make eye contact with him. I could feel his gaze on me briefly before he turned his eyes back to the road. He remained quiet for a few minutes.
Finally, he explained, “Growing up, my father never showed mercy or weakness. And our pack grew in strength. But there was always something that made us incomplete. I trained endlessly to live up to his expectations, to be a merciless and strong Alpha. When I took the title, I slowly began to realize that our leadership was missing compassion. My father thought nothing of banishing you to be a rogue. He thought nothing of the fact that you could not have survived. He thought nothing of the fact that you had never shifted or were smaller than a wolf should be. Our pack respected my father as a strong Alpha, but they were also afraid of him. I started to be challenged in small ways to test whether people should fear me after taking the title. I had to show the pack they should respect me but not fear me. It took a long time, but I think we are stronger now. There are still those who think I am weak for showing mercy so far during my leadership.” As he finished, I could feel his gaze on me again.
I wasn’t sure what to think. If we hadn't been mates, would he have fulfilled his father’s wish and banished me? Would I have been cast out of the pack to be a rogue? Would they have let me leave willingly? These thoughts swirled my head as I felt the car slow down and pull to the side of the road. I looked up at Liam, confused.
After putting the car in park, he turned to me, grabbing both of my hands in his. “Azalea, I want you to know that just by existing, you made me a better Alpha and man. I cannot promise it would have happened quickly, but even if I wouldn’t have found you as my mate, I don’t believe I would have cast you out as a rogue. But it doesn’t matter now. That night, my birthday, my entire world shifted. I saw everything in a new light, including myself. My father failed in being an Alpha and raising me to be one. It should have never been a question of rejecting you….”
I could feel tears threatening to spill over my lashes as he finished. Liam let my hands go to undo my seat belt. He then grabbed me by my waist and picked me up, transferring me to his lap like I weighed nothing. He pulled me into his chest and wrapped hugged me close. Finally, he whispered, “I just want to be a better man for you. I want to be someone who deserves you.”
I looked up at him with stray tears staining my face. Thinking about my childhood and living in the pack hurt and scared me. Thinking about his rejection was even worse. But to know he truly wished things had been different and he was different than his father shifted something in my heart. I reached up and placed my hand on his cheek, kissing him fiercely. I wasn’t ready to tell him I loved him, but I could kiss him, so I did.
He mirrored my kiss with just as much feeling, tangling his fingers into my hair and holding my head to his. When we finally broke apart, he leaned his forehead against mine as we caught our breaths. He ran his fingers soothingly over my cheeks. “I don’t deserve you,” he whispered.
I shook my head at him. He sighed as if he knew what I would say, and he didn’t want to argue. With that, he gave me a swift kiss on my forehead before transferring me back to the passenger seat.
“We should keep moving,” he said, starting the car. He once again intertwined our fingers and lay our hands in my lap. His thumb soothingly skimmed the top of my knuckles back and forth. Neither of us had much to say now, so we listened to the radio as Liam continued our drive. At some point, my eyes began to droop, and I fell into a light sleep.
What felt like only minutes later, I felt my body lifted out of my seat and into a warm, comfortable chest. I inhaled deeply, comforted by the soothing forest scent. My eyes fluttered open, and I looked up into a pair of crystal blue eyes.
“You can sleep, baby,” he said with a smile. I nodded my head, snuggling further into his chest. That earned me a soft chuckle that resonated throughout his broad, muscular chest. I felt him carrying me into the house. After a few moments, he laid me on the softest bed I had ever felt before, covering me up. I reached out to grab his hand.
Before I could say anything, he said, “I will be right back, kitten. I just want to get your bag from the car. Stay right here, okay?”
“Mmmm,” I agreed, releasing his hand. I snuggled deeper into the blanket, enjoying the luxurious bed. Only a few minutes later, I felt the other side of the bed shift, and Liam’s comforting scent surrounded me. It was quickly followed by his arms pulling me into his warm, hard chest. My body melted into his as I let myself fall into a beautiful, deep sleep.
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