CH 115

I saw a similar story when I found out that Benny was the blood of the Albrecht family.

I was filled with confusion then, but now I was convinced.

I would give up my escape with Benny.

As if a strong intuition had been conveyed, Benny did not persuade me, unlike back then. He tapped his chin and looked into my face.

“…Is it because I’m the son of Count Albrecht?”

I shook my head.

At first, it was the reason I hesitated to escape. But there reason now had nothing to do with Benny’s origins.

“No. It’s because my body belongs to the daughter of Duke Bauner.” 

Benny raised his eyebrows as if he didn’t understand.

Well, that would be a natural reaction. Since I was the one who asked him to help me run away.

“Benny. Listen carefully… to what I’m about to tell you. It has something to do with you.”

I gave strength to my clenched hands and told him of the memories I had seen in the basement. From the process of the creation of demons to the origin of my body.

Benny looked calm as he listened to the story.

He showed no interest when I spoke about the revived body, but was noticeably agitated when I said I couldn’t take Lily’s body away.

“…I see.”

After hearing the entire story, Benny lowered his eyes like he was in agony.

Sweat filled my hands. It was time to start doing what I had decided to do in my dreams.

Benny originally intended to take revenge by taking me away from Alan. But I decided to remain in the Duke’s Castle.

If the previous method didn’t work, he had to change the direction of his revenge.

The new method was probably much simpler and more conventional. I had to stop it.

“Benny.”

I couldn’t keep my mouth shut. It had to be said.

I took a deep breath and barely exhaled.

“Can you spare my dad?”

It was a shameless request — to spare the enemy of his parents.

Benny had an unchanging expression on his face, but, unlike usual, he did not answer right away as he usually did.

The silence seemed to hit my heart, so I shook my head as if backtracking.

“I’m not asking you to forgive him. Never.”

“Then?”

“If you give up on revenge, I have something to give you in return.”

I raised myself up on my tiptoes and looked at Benny’s cool amethyst eyes.

Our faces were so close that our noses touched. The boy’s breath on my lips was lukewarm.

“Marry me.”

Perhaps it was an unexpected suggestion, for Benny’s eyes widened slightly.

I grabbed Benny’s hand, lifted it up, and clenched it with my own two hands like praying.

“This is all I can give you.”

I had nothing. The clothes I wore, the accessories attached, and even my body; they all didn’t belong to me.

Hence, there was only one thing I could offer the boy.

“I will give you my soul.”

I kissed the back of Benny’s hand. Gray dust flew like snow. There was a bitter taste from the dust that settled on the tip of my tongue.

Benny was silent. I hugged him nervously. Even during that, I had the illusion that the hazy world had somehow become quiet.

The sound of someone’s heart was louder than the sound of the ground collapsing.

“If you accept my offer, I will never leave you for the rest of my life.”

I wrapped my arms around his wide back and held him close. I wanted him to feel my heartbeat.

Benny didn’t hug me back, nor did he push me away. I placed my cheek against the chest of the boy who stood like an old tree and returned the words I had once heard from him.

“When you are happy or when you are unhappy…”

Even though I was selling my soul for a purpose, my mind was strangely calm.

Perhaps it was because the person in my arms was Benny.

“I will be by your side.”

It was true that I hesitated. I was begging the boy in front of me to spare his parents’ enemy.

But I couldn’t sit still. My conscience was already like a worn-out rag.

Therefore, I would close my eyes to protect my loved ones.

“Please… allow it. So that my dad laughs, talks, and is as happy as he is now.”

The wind blew as if the world had been destroyed. Benny gently grabbed my tangled, fluttering hair.

He might criticize me by pulling my hair right away. But instead of avoiding his hands, I gave strength to the arms wrapped around his back.

“Please. Do that. If you don’t have me…” 

I bit my lips. Without realizing it, I dug my nails into Benny’s back. Unlike when he was young, the boy’s body now was as hard as a stone.

“I have to kill you.”

Despite the ungrateful declaration, Benny was not offended. He just brushed my hair and listened quietly.

I felt like I was going to cry. This was proven for sure.

Benny’s kindness to me was never lies made to approach the enemy’s daughter.

“You, who care so much for me…”

The voice was cracked. I lowered my head as if sinking down.

“I must kill you with my own hands.”

I dared to kill the boy who helped me.

I had to commit a crime to protect Alan. It was something only I could do in this world.

I begged for his consent.

I wanted to get down on my knees to do anything for him if I could. Just like when I asked him to help me run away.

But it couldn’t fall apart. It was different now than it was then.

I was threatening Benny. By mortgaging myself, Benny’s weakness.

“…Can I add one more condition?”

Benny, who had been silent for a long time, finally spoke.

I glanced up at Benny and nodded. I could do anything as long as he doesn’t kill Alan.

He brushed my messy bangs slightly and spoke in a low tone.

“The Princess asked me to protect you. I will keep that promise no matter what.”

“Huh…?”

“Can you give me permission?”

Initially, I was stunned, but then an unbearable sense of shame came over me.

Benny was trying to protect me even though I threatened him.

“…Benny. If it’s that promise, it’s fine now. Really.”

My eyes were cold. My vision was blurred and tears welled up till my eyelashes.

“Since I was born, until now…”

In the end, the tears I had been holding back flowed freely.

“You were the only one who helped me up to this point.”

As I wiped away the tears with the back of my hand, Benny grabbed my wrist.

He put his arm around my shoulder and gently pushed my chin up. His purple eyes filled my wet vision.

Benny, who had been indifferent all the time… his eyebrows were lowered.

“Is that all?”

“What do you mean is that all?””

“The Princess knows that I’m of the Albrecht family, but you still did not tell the Duke about it.”

There was a strange heat in his tone. He seemed more angry over this than when I asked him to spare Alan.

“Is that just a reward for protecting you?”

‘Reward’ was an unexpected word.

A reward was something given to the subordinate by the master. The person who gave infinitely in our relationship was actually Benny.

“It’s not like that. I just…”

I blinked anxiously, looking for something to say.

It was as Benny said. I knew that Benny was of the Albrecht’s blood, but I did not tell anyone about it.

At first, it was because Benny knew who I was, but even now that everything was useless, I had no intention of revealing it. It came naturally for me.

“I don’t want to kill you.”

I valued Benny. I wanted to protect Benny as much as Alan.

If I had to weigh those two people and kill the lighter one, it was Benny.

But I never wanted that to happen.

Even if it created another lie between Alan and me.

“I want you to keep living.”

‘As long as you are alive, one day you will be happy. I want you to be happy because you helped me.’

Benny stared at me and wiped my tears with his thumb.

“You mean you’ll allow my conditions.”

Benny seemed to be feeling better than before.

He was as narrow-minded as Alan, but the time I had spent with him allowed me to spot subtle differences.

Then my whole body trembled. The aftershocks, which had stopped for a while, recurred, and the ground cracked like a fallen cookie.

I looked down at the crack involuntarily and took a breath.

Evil spirits were coming up from the ground. Dozens of black, bizarre arms scratched the heaps of dirt.

‘I have to stop it.’

I grabbed my wrist.

My hometown was a terrible place, but I couldn’t let it fall apart.

People lived here. Children like me. I didn’t want them to die before they could live.

The moment I pressed my nails into my palm and scraped my skin, Benny pulled me in.

He patted my shoulder and whispered to me to calm down.

“Until now, I have never controlled such excited evil spirits to this extent at once.”

Benny wrapped his arm around my neck and grabbed the tip of my chin. My face rose by itself, and his breaths touched the tip of my nose.

“But when I’m close to Princess… I became stronger.”

Benny’s lips landed on mine. The boy’s breath flowing into my mouth was as cool as an ice cube.

I thought blankly with my dazed mind.

‘There’s still a soft part in his body, which has become hard without a single bit of baby fat.’