Chapter 100
That comment made my hands tremble.
“Are you….finally going to tell me?”
“Yeah. I’ve had these thoughts recently. People end up dying, so if one day I can’t be by Rere’s side….what will happen then? I’ve been thinking about it.”
“Why would you say that?”
He gently swirled the red wine in his clear glass, and began to gulp down the wine in one sitting.
“It suddenly crossed my mind. So I thought about telling you as well. Because I know for sure how much you love Rere.”
“…If you haven’t told anyone until now, doesn’t that mean it’s a secret? But didn’t I make it clear that I hated you….?”
“I know that you hate me. But I also know that you love Rere more than anything in the world. I know you will never do anything to hurt Rere.” His eyes looked sad for some reason.
I could see Luca in the Duke. Now it was clear to me that Luca was the Duke. However, I didn’t know why they were divided or why they looked so heartbroken.
“Did I, perhaps, misread your feelings for Rere?”
“No. I think you’ve figured me out perfectly.”
“That’s a relief. If something were to happen to me, at least there’s someone who will take care of Rere.”
“…How can you be this pessimistic as a father? Do you have a chronic illness or something?”
“No.”
“Then get a hold of yourself. The child trusts you. Don’t think about passing the responsibility to others and get back on your feet.”
My chest was heavy for some reason. Why was the Duke, who always appeared strong, looking so fragile?
“….Unfortunately, I’m not sick or anything. It’s just something that crossed my mind.”
“…It’s so unlike you.”
“There’s nothing I can do even if I look like that in your eyes. That’s why I decided to tell you. My story….Rere’s story….will you listen to me?”
I nodded in silence. But he was silent for quite a while even after asking.
“I’m still not sure if it’s alright to talk about this.”
“Don’t do it if you don’t want to.”
Since I knew how you felt. Your feelings were completely different from before.
“No, I’ll do it for sure. A long time ago…..I failed to protect my sister.”
“Your sister?”
“Yeah, my younger sister.”
“….Was she the one who always waited for you?”
He nodded weakly instead of answering. I got goosebumps hearing his words match with Luca’s.
‘So I was right.’
“She was a very weak child. So all she did everyday was wait for me.”
“Ah…”
“Lalice Petri. It was my sister’s name. Both my parents died when I was 15. So I became Duke at 15, and my 5 year old sister lost her parents without even knowing what death was.”
He slowly continued, “Then her health worsened. The child, who had been weak since very young, even had a hard time leaving her room. So I wanted to protect her by keeping her in the house.”
“So you made something for her….”
“Yeah, it’s the rose garden. It’s the only place where she was allowed to go out. Her health improved a lot when she turned 20. Still, I was anxious at that time.”
He paused at each word to empty his wine glass. Before I knew it, he finished a whole bottle of wine.
“I gave her everything she wanted. I gave her all the books in the world when she wanted to read books, and I brought her different colors of paint when she wanted to draw. I filled my backyard with rare flowers when she wanted to see flowers. Even so….Lalice wanted to get out. She wanted to see the world that she only saw in books.”
The Duke looked out of the window dejectedly.
“She wanted to meet people. It was on me to decide. So I chose to do that because I thought of how stifling it must have been for Lalice, who had been confined in the castle ever since our parents were still alive.”
“What did you decide…?”
“Just in time, the palace was holding a party. Since her health improved a lot, I thought it’d relieve her frustration of being confined at home. It was….the worst mistake of my life. Lalice went through something she shouldn’t have.”
My anxiety grew deeper the more he talked about his sister when it was supposed to be Rere’s story.
“What she shouldn’t have gone through……don’t tell me…?”
“She was gone. I always made sure to keep her by my side, but while I was talking to others for a moment….she disappeared.”
“Ah….”
“It had only been three- no, five minutes that I turned my head away. But Lalice was already gone, and I couldn’t find her anywhere. It was only the next day that I found Lalice again.”
After a brief pause, he continued, “She looked terribly haggard, her beautiful dress was torn here and there, she had even climbed up the montain barefooted and returned to the castle on her own.”
His hands were visibly shaking as he recalled the memories.
“Lalice didn’t leave her room for six months straight. She cried and laughed uncontrollably, acting like she was out of her mind. She didn’t even eat properly…It wasn’t until six months later that Lalice left her chamber. That day, she said she blacked out after drinking something that a stranger gave her. She clearly remembered seeing someone, but she didn’t remember the people who made her fall unconscious.”
“……”
“In the end, she said….she went through something horrible that day, and when she saw her increasingly swollen belly, she realized that her memory that day wasn’t a dream at all, and that she was bearing a child….”
His words sent shivers down my spine. I got an idea of what his sister experienced. My heart beat like crazy even if it had nothing to do with me.
“No way….don’t tell me…it’s not what I think it is, right?”
“Lalice was violated by a man she didn’t know that day.”
“…Haa..”
“I tried to find the guy who violated my sister, but I didn’t do it properly. At that time, I tried to track him down quietly in order to protect my sister’s future and dignity. I could’ve caught that bastard had I made a big fuss back then.”
A tear fell off his face as the Duke dropped his head.
“Even though she endured that horrible experience, my sister sincerely loved her child. She even made a doll and gave it the name of the child that was yet to be born. She patted her stomach everyday and loved the child abundantly. She said she was sorry for not taking care of the child during the early stages of her pregnancy. She always looked forward to the day she would meet her child.”
“So the child was born…..no, what happened to your sister then…?”
“She passed away….after giving birth.”
My legs were shaking so hard. I finally knew what it was like to have your vision turn black. I hurriedly leaned on the chair when I felt like I was about to collapse.
“But I’m glad the child was born safely.”
“…Then…the child is….”
“Rebecca. The child that my sister loved so much is named Rebecca.”
“…Ha…”
What else could I say in this situation?
“That’s why I couldn’t accept Rere. Just….I don’t even want to see her. Every time I see her, I think of my sister. I don’t even know which bastard violated my sister…and I keep thinking of my pitiful sister who died without ever holding her own child.”
My lips were trembling. I was greatly shocked, and I couldn’t speak a single word.
“That’s why I hated her. I left her alone without even registering her birth. I left her unattended with only one nanny taking care of her. For a year….I left her alone.”
“…..”
“But when I saw the child who resembled my sister a lot, I was reminded of my sister’s final words before she passed away. She asked me to take good care of Rere. I only realized that I should’ve hated the man who made my sister suffer, not the child.”
Now I understood why he was so neglectful and irresponsible. Rere wasn’t his own child. From the beginning, she was the child of the man who took away his beloved sister.
“It was all my fault. I was aware of that, but I didn’t want to admit it. I was busy blaming others, and I didn’t think it was my fault that Lalice and Rere turned out this way. Anyway, Leona, that’s what I realized after watching you for a while.”
“…Watching me?”
“Yes. You showed me what it’s like to love the child. I felt that I should think and move on my own, rather than looking for endless excuses. If it weren’t for you, I’d live the same way I used to. Maybe I will send Rere to the Crown Prince.”
Perhaps what I said actually got through to him and helped him to carry on.
“I’m really a fool. I’m sure that would happen if you didn’t intervene this much. You must have a hard time trying to snap me out of it and lose your precious time with Rere. So, thank you.”
“…Why are you thanking me?”
“Yes. Without you, I would have continued living that way. Blaming Rere and blaming the world for everything.”
He looked so lonely, and that made my heart sink heavily.
“It’s the first time I’ve told someone about Lalice. It reminds me of something. Lalice was as pale as death when she gave birth to Rere and yet never looked so happy in her entire life.”
“Was she happy?”
“Yeah. She looked the happiest of all the faces I had seen of her in my entire life.”
“That’s good to hear.” I said with a relieved expression.
“Speaking of which….how old is Rere?”
For a moment, I was reminded of the High Priest’s words. Rere’s motor skills developed earlier than her peers, and she was taller.
“She’s known as a 5 year old, but she’s actually 6. I registered her birth a year after the fact.”
It was that.
The question I had had for a long time was finally solved.
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