CH 34
(This is Makoto’s POV)
The plan to attach Mai to me under the guise of studying for exams even on the holiday progressed smoothly. Despite Mai’s eccentricity, her academic ability wasn’t bad. In the first place, if she was stupid, she wouldn’t have been able to come up with the idea of creating a rocket made from a PET bottle and would have been killed by all of the weird inventions she’d ever done.
Actually, Mai’s grade had already exceeded the passing mark. She would still be fine even if she didn’t cram from morning to night. But I didn’t tell Mai about it. Rather, I deliberately acted and talked as if her grade were worrying to make her uneasy.
That’s why, even though Mai was forced to study all because of my selfish wish to bind her to me, she still studied hard daily while saying, “If I fail, I’ll have no choice but to die.” The right reaction to this should have been “that’s bad!”, but I didn’t have any intention to stop her. Besides, if Mai were to die, could I have her life instead?
If Mai didn’t want her life, I wanted her. I would treasure her, I thought silently like a curse, as if praying, while I stroked her head every time she answered correctly.
The only problem was making Mai aware of me as a man. On top of that, I couldn’t make Mai frightened. I had to create a situation where Mai unconsciously and voluntarily became aware of me.
Then, while I was searching for a method with the fewest disadvantages, I found the perfect bait, Himegasaki, in high school.
“I have something to talk about with you Himegasaki, is that okay?”
I called out to Himegasaki, who was reading a pocketbook during break time. Hearing my voice, she asked, “What is it?” with a slightly nervous look on her face.
Himegasaki was called the flower on a high peak, someone who was out of one’s league. Calm and withdrawn. However, when observed closely, it seemed she didn’t interact with people because of her weakness in forming human relationships.
“I have to think about what to give to my little sister, do you know any stuff like pens, pen cases, or notebooks, that look good for girls?”
“W-why are you asking me?”
“I thought that Himegasaki had good taste based on your belongings. I noticed that when we did experiments together in class last time.”
The female students were jealous and envious of Himegasaki. I never had any interest in Himegasaki herself. Even her body parts that the other classmates paid attention to were nothing more than masses of flesh and blood, so I didn’t care.
However, her personality, appearance, role, and ability were convenient for fueling jealousy. Himegasaki had it all.
“I-I understand. I will search a few stores that look good and tell you.”
“Thank you, that helps me a lot. I’m glad I asked Himegasaki.”
When I exaggerated, Himegasaki averted her gaze with an easy-to-read expression.
There was nothing easier to handle than a naive human being.
That’s why I casually displayed special treatment only to Himegasaki. When I led her to become class representatives together, she easily agreed, just as I wanted. While giving a sense of superiority, I stepped back quietly, drawing the delicate line where I seemed reachable and not at the same time.
“Himegasaki is really helpful. Back then you also taught me the question I’d been troubled with.”
“I didn’t do that much…”
“You study so well. I have to do my best too.”
Sometimes I would say something insinuating and then keep my distance again. I’d give her words and deeds that would build her confidence. Himegasaki lowered her head with blushing cheeks and said, “Well, just hearing that from you is enough…” The sight made my heart grow cold and I felt foolish.
If only Mai could fall in love with me easily, I wouldn’t have had to go through as much trouble as this. I’d been calling out others as Himegasaki’s spare, but none of them acquired the results I wanted. Only Mai was the one not aware of me at all. On the contrary, even when I tried to create a good atmosphere, I would end up being chased with a modified handcart and end up with a meaningless interaction.
“Uhm, why don’t we study together next time? The two of us.”
“Eh, just the two of us?”
I made a surprised expression at Himegasaki’s suggestion. When I showed a faint refusal tone, she added, panicked, “B-but. it’d also be fine with everyone.” Push and pull, refuse coldly and treat her kindly after. While worrying about my situation with Mai, I smiled and said, “yeah, I wish to do it with everyone.”
The plan to attach Mai to me under the guise of studying for exams even on the holiday progressed smoothly. Despite Mai’s eccentricity, her academic ability wasn’t bad. In the first place, if she was stupid, she wouldn’t have been able to come up with the idea of creating a rocket made from a PET bottle and would have been killed by all of the weird inventions she’d ever done.
Actually, Mai’s grade had already exceeded the passing mark. She would still be fine even if she didn’t cram from morning to night. But I didn’t tell Mai about it. Rather, I deliberately acted and talked as if her grade were worrying to make her uneasy.
That’s why, even though Mai was forced to study all because of my selfish wish to bind her to me, she still studied hard daily while saying, “If I fail, I’ll have no choice but to die.” The right reaction to this should have been “that’s bad!”, but I didn’t have any intention to stop her. Besides, if Mai were to die, could I have her life instead?
If Mai didn’t want her life, I wanted her. I would treasure her, I thought silently like a curse, as if praying, while I stroked her head every time she answered correctly.
The only problem was making Mai aware of me as a man. On top of that, I couldn’t make Mai frightened. I had to create a situation where Mai unconsciously and voluntarily became aware of me.
Then, while I was searching for a method with the fewest disadvantages, I found the perfect bait, Himegasaki, in high school.
“I have something to talk about with you Himegasaki, is that okay?”
I called out to Himegasaki, who was reading a pocketbook during break time. Hearing my voice, she asked, “What is it?” with a slightly nervous look on her face.
Himegasaki was called the flower on a high peak, someone who was out of one’s league. Calm and withdrawn. However, when observed closely, it seemed she didn’t interact with people because of her weakness in forming human relationships.
“I have to think about what to give to my little sister, do you know any stuff like pens, pen cases, or notebooks, that look good for girls?”
“W-why are you asking me?”
“I thought that Himegasaki had good taste based on your belongings. I noticed that when we did experiments together in class last time.”
The female students were jealous and envious of Himegasaki. I never had any interest in Himegasaki herself. Even her body parts that the other classmates paid attention to were nothing more than masses of flesh and blood, so I didn’t care.
However, her personality, appearance, role, and ability were convenient for fueling jealousy. Himegasaki had it all.
“I-I understand. I will search a few stores that look good and tell you.”
“Thank you, that helps me a lot. I’m glad I asked Himegasaki.”
When I exaggerated, Himegasaki averted her gaze with an easy-to-read expression.
There was nothing easier to handle than a naive human being.
That’s why I casually displayed special treatment only to Himegasaki. When I led her to become class representatives together, she easily agreed, just as I wanted. While giving a sense of superiority, I stepped back quietly, drawing the delicate line where I seemed reachable and not at the same time.
“Himegasaki is really helpful. Back then you also taught me the question I’d been troubled with.”
“I didn’t do that much…”
“You study so well. I have to do my best too.”
Sometimes I would say something insinuating and then keep my distance again. I’d give her words and deeds that would build her confidence. Himegasaki lowered her head with blushing cheeks and said, “Well, just hearing that from you is enough…” The sight made my heart grow cold and I felt foolish.
If only Mai could fall in love with me easily, I wouldn’t have had to go through as much trouble as this. I’d been calling out others as Himegasaki’s spare, but none of them acquired the results I wanted. Only Mai was the one not aware of me at all. On the contrary, even when I tried to create a good atmosphere, I would end up being chased with a modified handcart and end up with a meaningless interaction.
“Uhm, why don’t we study together next time? The two of us.”
“Eh, just the two of us?”
I made a surprised expression at Himegasaki’s suggestion. When I showed a faint refusal tone, she added, panicked, “B-but. it’d also be fine with everyone.” Push and pull, refuse coldly and treat her kindly after. While worrying about my situation with Mai, I smiled and said, “yeah, I wish to do it with everyone.”
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