Chapter 4: The Proposal (2)
Father would keep saying, “She already has other proposals,” and kept refusing, but after two years of fending off Cermiane, he acknowledged his defeat against Cermiane and his determination, and just yesterday, gave his approval, apparently.
How should I put it… I had no idea what part of me awakened his passion for me, but I did understand that he really wanted me. But, all I had was a ton of mixed feelings towards all of this.
“I understand. ….. What do you think, My Lady?”
Papa was calling me “My Lady” again. Grrrr. It wasn’t like I didn’t understand why he was calling me that. Now that Cermiane has gotten Father’s approval, I was already Cermiane’s fiance. This meant that I was already half married off from the marquisate. Thus, Papa, who was granted Father’s permission to be my parent when I was entrusted to him, could no longer treat me as if he was my parent since I was now engaged to Cermiane.
It logically made sense, but I was unhappy about how Papa, who had been my parent for so long, was suddenly treating me like a stranger, and I became teary while yowling. Seeing that, Papa sighed.
“Sir Emilian. Since this is all so sudden, My Lady is feeling a little overwhelmed. May we have some time to converse by ourselves?”
“Y-yes. I do not mind at all.”
Ushered by Papa; Mama, Papa, and I moved to the kitchen. Papa’s house only consisted of the living room, the parlor, Papa and Mama’s bedroom, and my bedroom. The only place where we could talk privately was in the kitchen.
A very tiny kitchen. The pot was hanging over the stove, where flames were flickering. It smelled like the garlic which we were in the process of drying. Once we entered the kitchen, I hugged Papa. Papa smiled wryly but still hugged me back. I felt a little relieved.
“…With My Lord having given his approval, it’s not possible to say no at this point, Ral.”
“I know.”
Knowing something and being okay with it is different. While I couldn’t come to terms with it and kept hugging Papa, Mama said pensively,
“What a surprise for Ral’s marriage to be decided on so quickly.”
“We can’t do anything about it. From what I’ve seen, he seems like a good knight, and if My Lord has given his approval, that must mean his future is bright. He wouldn’t marry off Ral, whom he doted on so much, to a bad man.”
As Papa said this, Mama caressed my head.
“Indeed. It’ll be lonely, but this is all for Ral.”
Urgh, if she says that so sadly, I’m also starting to feel really lonely. It’s so lonely, going to Mia’s place — meaning that since I’m getting married off to the Capital, I’ll have to go to the Capital again. That means I won’t be able to readily see Papa and Mama anymore. No, since the Capital’s so far away and I’ll no longer have any reason to come back to the marquisate territory anymore because I’m getting married, there’s a good chance I won’t ever be able to see them again.
Wait a second. I’ve thought countlessly about my marriage, but since I had thought I would be marrying someone from the territory, I had never imagined the possibility of never being able to see Papa and Mama ever again.
Papa will be forty-five this year. The white hairs were getting more prominent now. Since I had caused him so much trouble, I had been thinking of giving back to show my appreciation. And now I might never be able to see him again.
I jerk my head upwards in realization and lock eyes with Papa’s droopy eyes. Smiling wryly and patting my head, he said,
“As I said, you can’t reject his proposal. Just obediently go with him, Ral.”
Urgh, was nodding my head the only option? But no matter how I thought about it, I just couldn’t accept it. Father gave his approval, so there was no choice. That’s not right. Papa and Mama’s feelings weren’t considered at all in this decision. And more importantly, what about me?! Well, of course, I knew that marriage is something parents decide.
As anger started simmering inside me, I left Papa’s arms, ran into the living room, and started yelling, letting my anger take control.
“I! Do not! Want to marry you!”
Cermiane literally jumped up. Face pale, he looked very flustered.
“W-why? I properly received permission from your father first before coming here though?”
“Oh, so all’s good if you have Father’s approval? What about how I feel?”
“Oh, uh, so, I’ve proposed to you multiple times—”
“You mean to Father, not me! You’ve never visited me since the day we met, and you didn’t even send me a single letter! How dare you say you’ve proposed to me multiple times!”
Cermiane just stood there, stunned. Giving into my anger, I started banging on the table and starting barking,
“As a matter of fact, I have never heard you say ‘I love you’ or ‘I like you’ to me, ever! I cannot just marry someone like that all of a sudden! Please leave!”
Cermiane looked even more shocked by these words. His shoulders slumped in despair. What a shame for his beauty. But, he somehow mustered up a response.
“I-I did show my love for you. I had thought I had shown you that I loved you with my actions.”
“Huh?”
“That day, I kissed the palm of your hand when you left, correct? That kiss represents the deepest love that exists. It even meant that I proposed to you.”
….I hadn’t forgotten that kiss, but this was the first time I’d heard that there was such a deep meaning behind that kiss.
“How was I supposed to know that?”
“I did think that was the case. That’s why the next day, I hurried to the marquisate residence to propose again, but you had already gone back to the territory, Ral.”
It’s true that I had headed off for the territory the morning after in order to prevent myself from causing further trouble.
“Since I had just been knighted, I was still undergoing knight training, so as much as I wanted to follow after you, I could not.”
Cermiane’s justification was that even if he were to take some time off, the Caliente territory, which took a fortnight by horse, was too far. As a new knight, he could not take that many days off.
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