”Poof.” A chuckle flew by and stuck in my ear. I jerked my head in the direction of the sound, thinking he was laughing at me. I was about to curse at him for laughing, but the moment he removed his mask, goosebumps broke out all over my body.
“Why…….”
Is Heo-sang here?!
He usually only wears shirts or suits, but today he was wearing some kind of knit, so I didn’t notice him at all. At the same time, casual clothes also look good on him, so I watched him for a while and caught myself late. Simeon chuckled softly as I squinted. The blood in his head seemed to run cold.
As he turned to flee, a languid voice interrupted him.
“Shin Hajae-ssi?”
Simeon gestured for me to sit across from him. He even ordered my coffee now. He must have known I was coming, because he came and waited for me. I walked slowly, like a cow being led to the slaughter, and sat down in front of him.
My throat went dry with nervousness. Instinctively, I lifted the cup, then set it down, fearing I’d burnt myself again. Determined not to fall for the same trick twice, Simeon smirked.
“I didn’t burn anything.”
“You expect me to believe it?”
The corners of his mouth twitched upwards as he repeated what he’d heard before. Then he took my cup and took a sip. Relieved, I stuck the straw in my mouth and took a long swig. The cold transfusion of caffeine was life-saving.
“How did you know to come here?”
“By accident.”
He replied, his voice flat and nonchalant.
“You’re lying. You followed me.”
“Well.”
He was at the cafe before me, so technically I wasn’t being followed. In any case, the story of a chance encounter is 100% false. As I chewed on the end of my straw and glanced at it suspiciously, Simeon just laughed at what was so great about it. Then he changed the subject.
“Why did you say you weren’t going to do the job?”
“Was it you who sent me the texts this morning?”
“I asked why you said no.”
His stare was intimidating, and I couldn’t help but speak up.
“I told you in the message, I’m quitting for personal reasons.”
“On whose terms?”
“On my own terms, of course!”
My voice rose at the ridiculous question. Immediately, the attention of everyone in the café was focused. Everyone from the students who had just walked in and ordered coffee to the office workers who were laughing and talking stopped their conversations and looked over.
Instead of an apology, an awkward smile and a bow, and the café came alive. Some customers still glanced my way, but their eyes were on Simeon, not me.
“Be honest with me, how did you know I was here?”
I demanded, looking him in the eye, and he wordlessly pointed to my neck.
Damn it. Another leash. Not only does it keep me from divulging information about the Apostle, but it must have some sort of GPS. I downed the rest of my coffee in one gulp, my head throbbing. My headache seems to be getting worse.
“You’re the reason I didn’t get the job.”
Simeon’s eyes softened as he set the coffee cup down as roughly as a bottle.
“Do you want to come back then?”
“Don’t joke.”
“I’m serious.”
That’s the problem, he always meant it.
I shrugged it off and tugged on the leash with my index finger.
“Here, you said it would untie itself when the time came.”
“Yeah. That’s right.”
“And when is that time? I couldn’t cut it with a knife. Will it even untie itself in the first place?”
Simeon only laughed, and I couldn’t help but wonder if he was lying. I was nervously chewing on the straw when Simeon leisurely sipped his coffee.
“It’s a spirit.”
“What?”
“It’s called the <Crown of Atonement>.”
He looked at me like I didn’t know what that was, and he began to explain.
“A long time ago… in the now-defunct kingdom of Celia.”
Once upon a time, a strange rumour circulated in Celia’s court. The queen had an affair. No one believed it, as her partner was a nameless commoner, but it wasn’t long before the rumours were proven true. According to the rules, she should have abdicated and been executed immediately, but the king still loved her, so he decided to punish her.
“Punishment?”
“To kick her in the head with it.”
My breath caught in my throat, and I felt sick to my stomach imagining this spiky vine on my head.
“The king put a condition on the crown: If she lives quietly for the next year, he’ll let her go. But if she sees the man even once, the crown will immediately be tightened, and she will die a painful death.”
Even though the story hadn’t ended yet, the tragic ending was predictable.
The stronger the desire of people for an artefact, the more sacrifices they make for it, the more likely it is to become a spirit. In the end, the thorn vine must have been fed on someone’s blood to become the <Crown of Atonement>.
“…She must have gone to see him.”
“Yes. The queen died as a result, but the king was willing to have her body laid to rest in the royal palace.”
The whole tragedy is the fault of the queen who had an affair, so why do I feel scared of the king instead of pitying him? She ran away from him at the risk of her life, but even in death she couldn’t escape him. If it were me, I would have let her go, as a true lover would wish…
“He’s so obsessed.”
I muttered, fondling his leash, and Simeon narrowed his eyes.
“Obsessed, yes. I gave you a chance to come back even though I was betrayed.”
It’s not just my imagination that his eyes, which moved aside, cooled down in an instant.
The more I think about it, the more it’s a strange coincidence. A king who wants to keep you tied to his side, even if it means wrapping you in thorns, and a queen who wants to flee even in the face of death. But I’m not a queen, and I’m not the person Simeon wants me to be.
“Do you still think I resemble ‘him’?”
“…….”
“Is that why you’re doing this?”
He stared at me and said nothing.
In the stony silence, my doubts turned to certainties. I was beginning to understand why he had treated me so specially, why he wanted to keep me around. It wasn’t simply because I resembled John.
I am a substitute. Just as a child who loses an attachment doll looks for something similar, he tries to fill John’s place with me. At this point, it no longer matters whether I am John or not. No matter how many times I tell him I’m not John, no matter how much evidence I present, he won’t let go of his obsession with me.
“You know, Shin Hajae-ssi.”
A gravelly voice broke the silence.
“Do you know why the queen ran away?”
“…Because the King doesn’t want to understand her feelings, he just wants to tie her down.”
“No.”
His dark gaze slowly swept across my face, then down to the leash.
“For giving her freedom.”
Simeon smiled gently. I felt goosebumps on my skin at the false innocence on his face. From the moment the leash was put on. No, maybe from the moment we first laid eyes on each other, I’d been in his clutches.
I suddenly remembered the <Portrait of Saint-Germain>. In the frame, John is smiling happily with his back to the sunset. It’s obviously a nostalgic image, but for some reason, the more I look at it, the more I feel uncomfortable. It’s like looking at a butterfly specimen with a needle in a glass tube.
Yes, it’s taxidermy. It’s John at his happiest, trapped in a frame. As if that weren’t bad enough, now he’s holding me, his likeness, on a leash and scaring me. Possessiveness, beyond obsession, gently squeezes my breath.
If I try to escape, Simeon will chase after me, enjoying himself as if it were a game of tag. <The Crown of Atonement> would give away my location, and I’d have to cut my throat to get the vines out, but then I stopped thinking.
“So you put a condition on it, too, when you filled it?”
Simeon nodded silently. If he fulfils the condition, he will be free of the demon.
“What conditions?”
”I’ll let you know if I get a request.”
Of course. There was no way Simeon was going to let me know.
“No, you…”
I was about to vent my frustration.
“False.”
Thinking I’d misheard him, I asked, “What?” and he smiled wryly.
“It’s my name.”
“Why… Are you telling me?”
“Because I want Shin Hajae-ssi to call me by my name.”
My eyes shook at the honest confession.
Heo-sang. It’s a name I’ve said many times in my head, but I’ll never say it out loud again. The hard-won walls of my heart seemed to crumble the moment I called him by his name. I honestly don’t know how much longer I can hold on, but this is my last-ditch effort to avoid falling.
“I’m sorry, but I’m more comfortable calling you that.”
Regret flashed across Simeon’s face as I flatly refused. The way he quietly dropped his gaze, I could almost see his childhood fantasies. I didn’t want to make him feel weak, so I quickly changed the subject.
“Anyway, if you’re asking me to find ‘him’, the answer is the same as ever: I can’t. It’s not that I won’t, it’s that I can’t. If you want to find a missing person, you’d be better off letting the Heung-Sin cattle do it.”
So far, even his intelligence hasn’t found me. If that’s the case, then no matter how good an agency he hire, they will never find a trace of John. Despite my confidence, the story took a different turn.
“I’m here today to ask you for another favour.”
”…What is it?”
“At the end of the commission, I’ll tell you the conditions under which I’ll let you off the leash. What do you think?”
What do I think? The answer was already set in stone.
