CH 25

Looking back at the altar, the ritual preparations seemed to be nearing completion. She had placed holy water in a circle around the pages of her fenex, centred on them, and sprinkled something shimmering over them. A piece the size of her pinky nail floated on the shallow water, glowing faintly.

“What is this?”

“It only appears in the moonlight, so I crushed some golden shells and sprinkled them to trick it’s eyes.”

The floor scattered with mother-of-pearl sparkled like a lake in the moonlight. It was so beautiful that for a moment I forgot what I was supposed to be doing and just stared at it. Then she held out a sharp dagger and said.

“Draw blood with this sword and drop it on the bookshelf, and the invisible letters will be revealed.”

“What letters?”

“I’ve heard it’s a spell.”

In exchange for my blood, I must summon the grotesque creature in that painting. The realization dawned on me.

She gripped my hand tightly as I nervously accepted the dagger.

“You must never step outside the line.”

She smiles at me as if to reassure me of her last words.

“It’s okay, just stay as far away as you can.”

Then, alone, I stepped inside the boundary drawn by the holy water and knelt before the page. I glanced up and saw Simeon standing in the center of the chapel. The moment our eyes met, the tremor in his hand gripping the dagger stopped.

No matter what happened, he would do something.

I pressed the blade against my left palm, trying to erase my vague fear with pain. I pressed it firmly, hard, and the white of my skin bled. Plop. I could hear the drops of blood dripping onto the paper, and I wondered if that was enough, or not, so I raised the blade and sliced my palm.

“Ugh…”

At that moment, red, blood-red letters appeared on the faded paper. Swallowing a groan, he read them slowly.

“The one who sings of eternal rest, whose name is Fenex …permeate the moonlight and come to me.”

A cold wind whistled in from nowhere. The candle flame flickered precariously in front of him. But that was it. Contrary to my fears, nothing happened. I look around in disbelief, and she said something.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah …I’m fine.”

That’s strange. Could it be that the summoning failed?

The moment I stood up, a strong gust of wind blew in. In the blink of an eye, all the candles by the window were blown out. The corner of the chapel was already engulfed in darkness. Even Simeon’s figure was only a blurred outline.

“Simeon?”

No answer when I call his name.

What is this? Have I been tricked by Fenex?

Meanwhile, the only light is around the altar where I stand. The candles flicker precariously, as if they could be extinguished at any moment, but the cloth on the window doesn’t budge. That’s right. This is no ordinary wind. Something, an unauthorised presence, is approaching.

Just then, a voice whispered through the breeze.

“…Jae.”

I whipped around to face the source, where the nun stood still with her rosary.

“What did you just say?”

I asked sharply, but she just shook her head wordlessly.

Strange. I’m sure I heard voices, but….

My heart started to beat uncomfortably. His ragged breathing sounded unusually loud. Blood continued to ooze from the unhealed wound, soaking the paper red and wet. The moment the pure white drawing was stained red all over.

Heuk-

The last candle was extinguished. Then I felt a stirring in the darkness. I straightened my dagger and turned towards the source of the movement, straining my eyes to adjust to the darkness.

But before I could, something spoke to me.

“Hajae.”

My whole body froze at the sound of an all-too-familiar voice.

“I missed you.”

It was my mum’s voice.

The last time I heard her voice, I was only seven years old. But ten years later, I haven’t forgotten it. She appeared in my dreams again and again in the same form, always spitting out the same contradictory words: that she was leaving because she loved me with her back to me.

But this time was different.

“Hajae, didn’t you miss your mum?”

It was a gentle voice, the kind I’d never hear again, even if I wanted to, because it wouldn’t stay in my memory.

“Mum’s so sad. I missed you so much.”

My son. My Hajae….

I see my mum’s face beaming as she calls me by name. I can’t tell you how pretty she looked, with a deep dimple only on the right side of her slender cheek. Dad said it was love at first sight when he saw that playful smile, so I wanted to be just like her, so I pinched my cheek with my index finger, causing the skin to swell red.

When she saw his cheeks swollen as if from a mosquito bite, she laughed heartily.

‘Even if you don’t, you look just like your mum.’

So I used to look in the mirror and feel comforted. I used to look at my mum’s eyes and my dad’s mouth to ease my longing. But now I see someone else in the mirror. There is no trace of my parents anywhere. The after-effects of the accident had turned him into a complete stranger.

“Hajae.”

I heard my mum’s voice again while I was lost in my memories. I opened my mouth to respond to her affectionate call, but then froze. In the darkness, my mum’s face was contorted in anguish.

“Do you resent your mum?”

No. I had never thought of it that way, but strangely, no words came out. His tightly closed lips dried up in embarrassment, as if he’d been caught with a secret.

Did I resent my beloved mother? ……who left me with a curse?

“Son.”

Dad’s voice came from the other end of the line this time, his raspy, thin breathing bringing back unpleasant memories. It was the last time I saw him, after he’d been in an accident and was in intensive care.

The image of his pain-stained face flashed before my eyes.

“I’m sorry I left you behind.”

No.

“I put too much pressure on you….”

That’s not what I wanted to hear.

I glanced in the direction of the voice and saw a blurry outline. The sight of my dad on life support, barely clinging to life, was too much to bear. I turned away, not wanting to be reminded of it, and a sneer rang through the air.

“I envy you for not dying.”

I froze in place, stunned.

Dad had never been bitter in his life. He told me to grow up healthy, that he would worry about me until the day he died, that he was sorry for me. And then……. He said something. With my eyes open, my mind became increasingly hazy, as if I were dreaming.

Just then, a muffled voice lifted me out of the swamp.

“Shin Hajae-ssi?”

I looked up and vaguely recognised Simeon. His eyes were closed as he used his powers, and his face was creased with worry.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes…. okay…….”

Before I could finish my sentence, the darkness returned. Simeon was gone, and in his place stood another. An arm with skin peeling away, a face covered in blood, eyes sunken in anguish. Even his legs were broken and he stood at an angle.

“Hajae.”

I hear.

“It hurts so much.”

A voice stained with pain.

“My son, can you come over here?”

He comes to me from all directions, pestering me relentlessly.

“I haven’t hugged you in a long time.”

The darkness that had been lingering in the distance had become tangible. It paused just before the boundary line of holy water and wandered around me. The swaying shadows seemed to beckon me to come this way.

I shouldn’t go out. That’s an illusion. Fenex is trying to trick me.

“Son.”

“hajae.”

“It’s okay, come here.”

“It’s Dad. Have you forgotten already?”

I cover my ears to try not to listen, but their voices were ringing in my head, so I clamped my left hand over my mouth and swung the dagger as hard as I could at my thigh.

Fuuk-

The piercing pain quickly spread through my body. I clenched my molars to keep from letting out a guttural scream. Click, the sound of teeth grinding echoed vividly. As time went on, the pain only got worse, not better.

Slowly, my back curled and I fell forward onto my knees. “Ugh.” I put my hands on the floor to keep from falling. There was a snap, the sound of falling into shallow water. The new ripples on my fingers are festering gore.

The pain cleared my mind a little. But it was only for a moment.

“Hajae.”

I hear the voice again, and even though I try not to listen, it somehow finds its way in and eats away at my mind.

“Look here.”

It’s a hallucination.

My mum left to keep me alive, and my dad raised me alone, carrying my mum’s secret with him. I grew up with nothing. I grew up loved and spoilt, so there’s no way my parents would say that to me.

There’s no way…

“Do you blame me?”

I couldn’t help but burst out laughing at the cruel question.

“Haha… Ha….”

Yes, I do resent you. I can’t be happy that I inherited a curse or something.