Chapter 18.2

Questions that cannot be asked now lingered in my head. Gerald doesn’t even know what I’m talking about, I end up talking to myself?

I was tired of asking questions that I couldn’t get an answer to.

“It hurts.”

I muttered in a grumpy voice.

“Sorry.”

Gerald moved more gently. In fact, I could go to the bathroom and wash my face and ask the maids to do it, but I didn’t. I just didn’t. I just crouched down and let him do what he did.

Gerald blew his breath.

“It hurts . . .”

Unknowingly, I whined and turned my head.

I felt like I was going to cry.

He wasn’t around when I needed him, but seeing him nervous about this trivial thing, I felt like my heart was being scratched.

“Sorry. Did it hurt a lot? I’m so sorry.”

He comforted me. His words . . .

“Let’s take a little more off and wash our faces. Huh?”

His kindness was like poison to me.

This is an eight-year-old child who knows nothing. My heart kept hurting even after countless repetitions.

The regrets I thought had fallen off still remained in my heart with wounds and were wealthy.

“It’s because of you.”

Eventually, tears burst down.

“I really hate you!”

“I’m sorry.”

“I really don’t want to see you . . .”

“I’m sorry, Lulu.”

What are you sorry about?

I couldn’t overcome my irritation and put my face between my knees. I could feel the restless spirit of Gerald, but I didn’t say anything and kept being stubborn.

“I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry. Hey . . . Don’t cry . . .”

That’s right. It’s your fault. You bad boy.

I cried without realizing it, shedding all my tears and runny nose.

* * *

Gerald carefully swept over Louella’s hair, who fell asleep after crying.

“I’m sorry . . .”

Gerald muttered like that and spread his small palm to cover the sunlight beating down on Louella’s face. Tears dried up on her plump, white cheeks and it kept catching Gerald’s eyes.

“Don’t cry . . .” His gloomy voice was locked low.

“I’m really sorry, Louella.”

Did Gerald’s voice touch her? Louella’s sleeping face became a little more comfortable. Gerald’s face had a bitter smile that did not seem appropriate for his age.

For a long time, Gerald stayed in that position. It was as if he was protecting Louella’s sleep.

* * *

I had a terrible dream.

At that time, I thought I didn’t want to get sick anymore because I was tired of crying.

“Are we really a couple?”

“Of course, Lulu.”

The beautiful face with a smile stuck with me like rain.

“Why are you crying again? Huh?”

This guy was almost like a wall. A wall that had hardened enough and cannot be broken.

Now I don’t know if it’s affection or something else beyond a transparent smile.

Gerald was someone who would not understand no matter what I said. It might be because he couldn’t understand human words like a mysterious creature. Maybe he’s really born with unicorn veins?

I gazed at him with a look that was already giving up.

“Why do you think I’m crying?”

It hits, breaks, and collapses. Even after countless repetitions, he didn’t change anything, and he flexibly escaped the trap I made for him.

When I burst into tears and see him soothe me with an impatient face, it seems that he has a certain emotional convenience for me.

“Please, don’t cry.”

What is this man’s heartless way of holding me in his arms and comforting me but not even sharing one kiss with me?

“. . . Are you seeing another girl?”

Maybe he was just very, very careful that I couldn’t catch him with another woman?

Gerald’s expression hardened at my question.

“There’s no way I would do that to you. You’re the only one in my life, Lulu. Shhh . . . Don’t cry.”

“I wish you’d rather meet another girl . . .”

Then I should’ve given up. You only want me to keep on leaning on you.

Why do you keep . . .

Soft lips touched my forehead. I opened my eyes and met gazes with the feather-like lips that carefully touched my forehead.

“Lulu. I’m sorry. Don’t cry. I’m really sorry.”

You don’t even know what you did wrong.

He looked at me with a gaze as if I was the most precious thing in the world. He always stayed by my side and acted as if that was all.

And a week after that day, I told him about the divorce.

He deceived and turned away from me with kindness. I learned from him that being friendly does not equate to being a good husband.

He was friendly. He cherished me and was a faithful husband.

But he made me miserable and destroyed my pride as a woman.

In addition, he wasn’t around the moment I needed him.

“Let’s be divorced.”

I thought I could no longer be happy next to him, so I came to a conclusion after a long struggle.