Chapter 34

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Chapter 34

Declan had a lot to learn as a prince, so of course, he had to be busy. Nevertheless, he had tea time with Chloe every day, and whenever he had a break, he would run to her without fail.

“You did your best. Her Highness the Princess enjoyed tea time with His Majesty the most.”

“…Thank God.”

I tilted my head at the nonsensical remark.

“Because you know Chloe better than anyone.”

A faint smile hit the sunlight and scattered.

“I will not be able to fill the vacancy of Her Highness the Princess. I am not Her Highness.”

Saying so, I gently placed a hand on Declan’s cheek and continued my words. “I want to be by your side and be your strength. Now that I’m here, don’t be in pain alone.”

…How could I leave such a dangerous and pathetic person alone?

At that moment, there was a small ripple in the eyes of Declan, who was facing me. He then patted my hand on his cheek.

“I want to touch you.”

There was an unknown thirst in his eyes.

“I want to pat your hair, too.”

The warm eyes I met afterward locked me in.

Like a butterfly caught in a spider’s web.

Has his longing been transferred to me…? The longer I spent facing him, the deeper the desire I had hidden bloomed.

‘I want to touch him.’

I wanted to touch that hair, which looked soft at first glance, and I wanted to feel the smooth and soft touch of that cheeks…

Will it be as cold as it seems? Or, will it be warm?

Once I realized it, my desire for Declan constantly leaked out.

‘Am I going crazy, too?’

Even with that thought, I couldn’t stop. The desires that poured out as if a latch had been opened did not disappear, but rather burned hotter. And, all those desires ended up in one place at some point.

The longing that engulfed me so clearly.

‘I want to be a person.’

With that thought, I looked away, fearing that if I stayed like this, I would be burned by the sudden desire.

Still, the desire was not easily quenched.

“Even though I’m in front of you like this, I feel so far away.”

A faint voice drew attention.

Facing the eyes, which had become cloudy with anxiety, I did not know what to say.

‘Why? What kind of existence do you want me to be?’

Why does he want to hold on to me…?

I barely swallowed the question that was about to come out of my mouth. It was because I was scared because I didn’t know what the answer would be.

‘What am I expecting? What am I afraid of?’

I was confused by the emotions I did not know myself.

“Erica?”

Declan must have done it without realizing it.

I was worried about complicated emotions, though I quickly changed the topic because I thought my inner feelings would be revealed.

“Would you like a cup of tea here?”

“Well, how about looking around here? You probably wouldn’t have seen it properly last time.”

“Can I do that?”

The corners of Declan’s lips rose slightly as his eyes lit up with anticipation, and he opened his mouth.

“Take a look around.”

At that, I followed him as he walked slowly and glanced around.

“Do you have a favorite flower?”

“It’s freesia.”

“I see.”

“Is there freesia here, too?”

As I looked at where Declan’s finger was pointing, I saw a yellow bud.

“Pretty…”

On one side of the flower bed, there were freesias that were not yet in full bloom.

The fact that I was able to see the flowers I loved in my previous life here, too, made my heart flutter. I inhaled involuntarily, although I didn’t smell the freesia I was expecting.

“You must really like it.”

“Yes. It’s my favorite flower.”

“Shall we bring it to my room? ”

As I smiled brightly, Declan smiled along as well.

That evening, Declan had all the curtains down and his eyes closed.

Today, as usual, Erica sang the lullaby for him. If it were any other time, he would have fallen asleep quickly, but strangely, he did not sleep today. However, she kept singing the lullaby until he fell asleep, so he deliberately pretended to sleep.

Seeing that, she went out of the curtain as she thought he was asleep.

It sounded like she was doing something in the doll’s room as he heard a rustling sound.

When he lifted his arm and placed it on his forehead, a view of what had happened in the greenhouse unfolded like a panorama.

‘I didn’t know Chloe would have said something like that.’

The child was a child with deep profoundness from an early age…

“It’s not my brother’s fault. I want you to be happy for my share.”

As he recalled the words like a will, it felt like someone was digging his heart out. He had been living his life by pressing the tears that were always overflowing.

‘Is it because he cried in the greenhouse?’

It was the first time he had cried so loudly in front of someone.

Even when his mother died, Declan kept holding it back and came back to his room, covered himself with a blanket, and cried breathlessly.

‘Erica… Does she know?’

Dozens of times a day, the constant feeling of guilt that he wanted to give up and die. But, the moment he heard Chloe’s will, the squeezing of his neck as if to kill him was released.

The weight of what was weighing him down as if it was about to crush his shoulder became lighter.

Chloe, that child, saved himself again.

This ugly brother…

‘I’m sorry, Chloe. And… Thank you.’

Declan quietly covered his eyes with his hands. His eyes felt like they were getting hot, but they didn’t get wet. The whirlwind of emotions that had always ripped his mind like a storm was now only a small oscillation.

“Your Majesty, please give up the war. Let me help you.”

Suddenly, she had a face that was more painful than himself, and he was dazzled by the way she was earnestly asking for it.

Can he really not go crazy without going to war…?

“Her Highness the Princess will not want war. Her Highness will be sad.”

Chloe wouldn’t want a war like this.

He thought he knew her… It’s a war for Chloe, but the truth was, it was something she least wanted…

‘Because she was kinder than anyone else and loved her people.’

Still, he couldn’t stop.

Because if he didn’t run rampant like that, he couldn’t stand it. In his opinion, he wanted to kill all the people who killed Chloe.

‘What does it matter? I’ve already killed all the imperial family.’

After he had done everything, he would die, too, because by then, he would have no regrets in life.

‘Then, what about Noah and Mason?’

They would suffer for being on his side.

That was why he needed war… A place where he can kill them without needing any justification.

‘Ha—’

He let out a long sigh.

‘…The last wish, I’ll have to grant it. In that case, I can’t commit suicide.’

How should he live now…?

This anger? This loneliness?

Can he really stand them? How can he be happy? What is happiness?

Anger surged at Declan’s anxious and frustrated heart.

“I will be by your side. I will protect your Majesty.”

The word suddenly came to mind. The words that Erica used to say like a habit.

“Because I am there, don’t be in pain alone.”

The words she said in the greenhouse today.

‘…Erica.’

Declan whispered the name to himself.

When he first met her, he thought he was crazy at last, but on the other hand, she took his breath away—like a wanderer in the desert found an oasis…

As he walked gently through the curtain, he saw a doll wandering under a shimmering lamp.

‘What is she doing when you have nothing to do tonight?’

Seeing her in the doll’s room he had given her as a gift, he smiled.

‘If I had Erica, would I be able to stand it?’

In front of her, his anger, which seemed to swallow everything, calmed.

‘Will I be able to stand it…?’

Declan stared at Erica for a long time.

Seian, whose pension was released, left the palace with a soft smile as usual.

In the front yard of the detached palace where he was staying, he noticed a familiar person and raised the corners of his lips more.

“Are you here?”

“How are you? Your Majesty.”

The gardener looked at Seian and bowed his head.

“Thanks to you, time went so well these days.”

“I’m flattered.”

Seian patted the gardener on the shoulder and smiled happily.

“Last time, I gave the pansy that I raised myself to the Crown Princess as a gift. Yes, she liked it very much.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes, it’s all thanks to you. Did you bring the compost I asked for?

“Yes, I also brought the seedlings you asked for here.”

“Oh, is this a tulip seedling?”

“I brought it in white in particular. Red is commonly seen.”

The hands of the two people who were giving and receiving seedlings overlapped and fell down for a very short time. However, there was no change in their facial expressions.

“It’s a white tulip. So, can you teach me how to compost?”

“Come this way.”

The gardener led Seian to the flower bed, where he had picked the land last time.

After spending some time, he quietly returned to the detached palace and headed for the bedroom.

Click.

He then walked towards the desk with the sound of the door closing and looked around.

Of course, no one was in his bedroom.

As he put his hand in his pocket, he heard the rustling of paper. Seian, who was looking at the paper in his hand, slowly unfolded it.

[ ‘Still alive. Punishment has not been determined. Awaiting next instruction.’ ]

“Ha…”

Reading that, Seian let out a long breath and sat down on the chair.

As he recalled what had happened at the Princess’s birthday banquet, his back shivered once again. The Emperor’s threatening aura at that time was impossible. He couldn’t handle it.

Still, he didn’t want to show any fear or agitation because it was in front of the enemy who made his country a vassal state.

Seian quietly rolled his hand and clasped it.

‘Who did this?’

The Jemina’s flag was also doubtful, though the kidnappers are Jeminas.

It was not the Emperor’s work. Obviously, the Emperor wouldn’t do anything to endanger the Princess.

“…Who dares try to take advantage of us?”

It was strange that the Emperor was quiet right away, but it was fortunate that there was no wind of blood blowing in Gemina. No matter how powerless they were, they did not want to be used as an imperial political tool.

“How dare you look down on us.”

His clenched fist trembled.

He stared at the note again.

[ Awaiting next instruction. ]

First, we need to find the one who drove them to their limbs…

Thinking so, Seian pulled a small piece of paper out of his desk drawer and quickly wrote down his first instruction.

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