Episode 6: “During That Time with Her”
Today, I, Nanami barato, confessed to a boy for the first time. He is Misumai Youshin, a kind boy in my class who is quiet, unremarkable, and whom I had no connection with. But it was a confession as part of a punishment game. It was a punishment game where we had to continue dating for a month after confessing.
It’s not because I like him that I confessed. It was purely for the sake of the punishment game. Engaging in such a despicable act of playing with someone’s feelings, I can’t help but acknowledge how terrible it is.
Anyone who is reserved would have sufficed for this, although it may sound like I’m comparing it to a random attack. But in fact, from his perspective, it might have felt like being attacked out of nowhere.
I have to admit that I wasn’t the one who came up with this punishment game. It was devised by my friends, Hatsumi Otofuke and Moe Kamenaichi, as a game. Once I accepted it, I became an accomplice as well.
Indeed, I initially hesitated because it involved toying with someone’s heart, but in the end… I accepted the punishment game.
I may dress flamboyantly, but due to certain circumstances, I’m not good with boys… My appearance itself was something the two of them gave me, a sort of protective barrier for my heart. Even though I may dress revealingly and have no actual barrier, still… when I’m with them, I can somehow talk to boys as if nothing is amiss. I think some of them even became friends.
But I can only do that when I’m with them. I still can’t be alone with boys.
That’s why the two of them are worried about me.
Now, I intend to pursue higher education in university, Hatsumi is pursuing her dream of becoming a beautician, and Ayumi is studying to become a designer at a vocational school. Despite being seen as a trio of fools, our grades aren’t that bad. We’re working hard in our studies for the sake of our dreams.
In the future, my path will undoubtedly diverge from theirs. They are extremely concerned that I, without them, might fall into the clutches of some strange guy, more so than my own mother.
That’s why they proposed this punishment game. For me to get a little more used to boys…
The boy they chose for me to confess to was considered safe from their perspective. Certainly, I had never talked to Youshin before, but he was always quiet, so I felt he was harmless as well. With their encouragement, I decided to confess.
And today, I confessed to him. Even though it’s a punishment game, I was incredibly nervous and my heart was pounding… But more than that, I was surprised by his reaction.
All the people who have confessed to me in the past… the captain of the sports club would just stare at my chest, the delinquent would only look at my legs, and the serious-looking boy with glasses would focus on my upper arms.
Everyone who confessed to me would look at some part of my body and have an expectant gaze directed at me.
But he was different. He looked straight into my eyes… He didn’t pay attention to any specific part of my body. He was earnestly looking into my eyes.
His reaction, unlike anyone from the past, made me feel something other than nervousness.
And when I mustered up the courage… even though it’s a punishment game and I shouldn’t have any courage… the moment I finished
The first words he uttered after getting injured and soaked were words of concern for me. And then, right after that… he collapsed.
I panicked, thinking it was my fault that he died. But I immediately called the teacher… and had him taken to the infirmary.
The school nurse swiftly took off his wet clothes, treated him efficiently, and laid him down on the bed… I was truly relieved when they said Youshin seemed to be fine.
…After going through various events, I accidentally saw his upper body and was even more excited by his unexpectedly well-toned physique.
I had always thought of him as a quiet and frail boy, but he was nothing like that. Surprisingly strong.
And I learned that he was more of a gentleman and kinder than any other boy I had ever met.
When he accepted my confession, along with the joy came a strong sense of guilt. …And I was surprised at myself for feeling happy about being accepted.
When he helped me, it made me happy to be called by my name in the heat of the moment, and we were able to suggest calling each other by name, but that was all we could do. I became unable to say anything more to him.
Even though we went home together, I couldn’t talk to him gradually due to the growing guilt or perhaps because I was nervous about being alone with him. I felt truly sorry.
At the very end, we exchanged contact information, and from tomorrow on, I will… act as Youshin’s girlfriend. I need to gather my spirits so that I won’t make a blunder like today.
Suddenly… I wonder why I’m so motivated even though this is a punishment game. This is only a one-month limited relationship. But… why did I feel so lonely when we said goodbye?
As I tried to push away those feelings, I looked at my constantly ringing smartphone.
…Even while I was lost in thought, my smartphone’s notification sound kept ringing… They’re probably urging me for the result of our confession. I looked at my phone… as expected, I had received a flurry of messages from the two of them.
“How did it go? Did the confession succeed?”
“Well, I hope everything’s okay. But just tell us the result.”
I chuckled wryly at those messages. And in the group chat, with a simple word, I reported the result.
“It was a success. There were some things that happened, so I’ll give you the details tomorrow. I’m going to sleep now, so goodnight.”
That’s all I replied, cutting off the conversation. There were a few more messages, but perhaps they thought I had gone to sleep because messages from the two of them quickly ceased.
After that, I… took a deep breath and selected Youshin, with whom I exchanged contact information… Is his icon a character from an anime? It’s a girl with braided hair. Does he like that kind of thing?
Without suppressing my racing heartbeat, I sent him a message.
“Since we’re dating now… let’s go to school together starting tomorrow. Can we meet at the station at 7:30?”
Is it a bit curt? I wondered as I sent the message, and it was immediately marked as read. I felt happy that he looked at it right away… but for some reason, he didn’t reply right away.
Did I say something weird? …Did he ignore me? Or maybe he’s flustered because he’s not used to girls? If that’s the case, I feel a sense of familiarity.
Until I received a reply… It probably wasn’t that long, but it felt like a very long time to me. And finally, I got a reply.
“‘I’m glad that I can go to school with Nanami-san. 7:30, right? Understood. Looking forward to it.'”
At the single word “glad,” I couldn’t contain my happiness and jumped up, causing the bed I was lying on to creak. The use of polite language slightly bothered me, but I suppose it’s because he’s not used to messaging like this… Somehow, he seemed a bit cute.
…What does “cute” even mean? I don’t know anything about him, yet I find myself thinking all these things.
I don’t know if my current feelings are just the result of the suspension bridge effect or if I’m starting to be attracted to him. If it’s the latter, I think I’m being too easy. It would mean that my concerns about the two of us were accurate… No, I’m not being easy. He’s just a trial boyfriend to get used to being with a boy. I’m not being easy! This is just the fluttering of the suspension bridge effect!
“But… yeah… even if it’s temporary, I am his girlfriend… It’s okay to think that way, right? Probably.”
As I had declared to our friends, I decided to go to bed early today. With a determination in my heart, I slipped into bed.
Tomorrow, I’ll need to wake up earlier than usual.
The meeting… the first meeting with my boyfriend… Despite feeling nervous about it… perhaps due to the mental fatigue of the day, I was immediately overwhelmed by drowsiness… and my consciousness sank into the world of dreams.
In the dream, I saw Youshin half-naked multiple times, and each time I woke up… Although I ended up sleep-deprived that day… I managed to wake up earlier than usual as planned, so I forced myself to accept it as a good thing.
Interlude: Meanwhile, with Youshin-kun…
“Tomorrow is the meeting… meeting with Nanami-san… going to school together… going to school with my girlfriend… girlfriend… Nanami-san… Nanami-san is my girlfriend…”
I can’t fully grasp that fact, but I found myself repeatedly looking at the message that came to my smartphone… and I couldn’t fall asleep easily.
I’ll definitely be sleep-deprived tomorrow…
