CH 28

Turns out, I'm the Dumb One

Translated by boilpoil

Edited by boilpoil

After leaving Jing Xiaoqing’s store, Bai Yao is going to go home directly to pack the fresh ingredients he bought. He’d have time to clean the kitchen too after that.

Though he then spots Mu Mu’er staring at the street nearby, poking his head inside.

It’s a pretty famously old street of Qiaohai, selling souvenirs and local snacks. Tourist season means that many hawkers have set up store as well.

There are many people around, the sound of chatting tourists and laughs mixed with hawkers calling out to customers makes it the most dynamic street of Qiaohai.

Seeing Mu’er’s gaze, Bai Yao asks, “Mu’er, you want to go?”

Mu Mu’er immediately nods at Bai Yao’s question, and takes a step in the street’s direction, to show how much he wants to go.

There is still time to tour a street, at least.

Mu Mu’er seems happy, hopping behind Bai Yao towards the street, while asking, “jiejie had a big, big tummy, does she eat a lot?”

Bai Yao explains patiently, “no, but she has a little baby inside. When her baby comes out, her tummy will become small again.”

Then Mu Mu’er immediately starts looking at his tummy, perhaps wondering if he will also have a baby in the future.

This amuses Bai Yao, who says, “Mu’er, you won’t have a baby, so your tummy will not become big.”

Bai Yao is going to continue explaining how men cannot become pregnant, but Mu Mu’er’s attention is already drifting elsewhere – to a trash can, where the two cups of bubble milk tea tourists have thrown away can be seen. He begins to gulp, staring, only to be dragged away by Bai Yao in time before he can run for it. Fortunately, no one saw it.

Mu Mu’er seems to find everything fresh and interesting, even the automatic shoe shining machine and things for tourists to use in the corner of the street are things he can stare all day at.

After someone comes to shine their shoe, Mu Mu’er crouched to watch, ‘wow’ing, and after the person has left, he runs for the machine, possibly to take it home if Bai Yao didn’t yank him back in time.

There are also many stores selling souvenirs, and Mu Mu’er’s gaze can’t be glued any harder to all of them – one half of his brain is judging whether they’re edible, the other half judging whether they’d fit in his little pocket.

They walk past a table selling small trinkets, with the majority being plastic seashells in vibrant colours.

Bai Yao thinks it is quite silly. Walk a few steps down to the beach and there are seashells everywhere, far more genuine than these imitations. For free, even.

Only dumbasses would spend money on those.

He’s going to leave, only to spot Mu Mu’er picking up a light green seashell behind him, studying it, and then raising his arm.

He spoke too late to stop Mu Mu’er knocking the shell on the wooden table to crack it open. Thankfully, the cashier of the store was preoccupied.

Mu Mu’er is holding the shell with both hands – like a hungry little sea otter.

The shell is fake, so obviously it wouldn’t ‘open.’ At least its quality is good, and it didn’t so much as dent from being cracked.

“You can’t smash it!” Bai Yao says, but also keeping the tone down so that he doesn’t scare him.

These are things of other people. Touching is questionable if they don’t even plan to buy, never mind cracking it!

Mu Mu’er nods firmly in agreement. He just tried, and he couldn’t smash it open.

So then he lifts the seashell up again, and tilts his head…

… Before suddenly opening his mouth, to bite.

Bai Yao “!”

Unfortunately, this time, the cashier has turned back around to see exactly what Mu Mu’er was doing. Bai Yao swears his eyes went a few sizes bigger.

“Uh, mi-mister! You can’t eat that!”

Mu Mu’er “?”

He blinks in confusion, before believing he understood what the cashier meant, and nods, “it tastes bad.”

There is no answer in the frozen atmosphere.

Bai Yao then tries to save the day, by telling the cashier, “… good seashell decorations should be able to withstand bites.”

The cashier still seems entirely out of it. His mouth is twitching, looking at the seashell which now has a row of teeth marks on it.

Bai Yao can see that his bullshit isn’t working. So, he completely lets his sanity out the door, and takes Mu Mu’er’s shell, before copying what Mu Mu’er did, and taking a bite of the seashell.

The plastic is hard. His teeth hurts.

The cashier remains stunned with mouth agape. Then he slowly closes his mouth, and asks with his expression, ‘are you alright in the head?’

He already bit the merchandise, so obviously, he can’t just say he doesn’t want it anymore. He nods, as normally as he can, and takes his phone out to pay.

“… Good enough. I’ll have this one.”

Souvenirs in a tourist area is absurdly priced. This little plastic seashell is just a few dollars shy of a whole bowl of stewed sea urchins in his restaurant.

Bai Yao can’t help but feel painful after paying the ‘fine.’ That was enough money to buy a new set of replacement dishes, or maybe a dog bowl for Mu Mu’er.

So he messes up Mu Mu’er’s head as revenge, only stopping when birds might mistaken his head for a nest.

After leaving the store, Mu Mu’er does not say anything for a while, seemingly unhappy. He looks at the plastic seashell in Bai Yao’s hand with regret, and says, “Yaoyao should not buy this. It tasted bad, and does not open.”

… So you knew that, huh.

Bai Yao tosses him the shell, “it’s yours. Keep it.”

Mu Mu’er catches the shell clumsily, then looks at it dismissively. He can’t eat this!

And he forgot that he hasn’t his little pocket anymore, only remembering that he’s human now when he has lifted his arm up. He seems disappointed.

He really wants to turn back into a sea otter. It’s comfortable. And he has his little pocket. But he remembers Bai Yao doesn’t want him to transform, and he does not want to make Bai Yao angry, so he can only tug at his T-shirt’s collar.

He doesn’t like clothes. He wants to undress.

After complaining, though, he found something that makes him happy.

He’s happy about the overalls Bai Yao bought him. They’re loose and breezy.

Mu Mu’er smiles, and with a plastic seashell with two rows of teeth marks on it in his hands, he hops after Bai Yao.