Chapter 94 - It Feels Nice

Well, it felt nice seeing such a cute little kid like Kairen so much. Ariyan was a nice kid. He listened to his parents well and understood the situation and the surroundings. He wasn't one of those spoilt rude and annoying brats that irritated you every time you met them. 

Kairen also liked Ariyan a lot even though it hadn't been long since he had met him. 

However, he felt kind of sorry and guilty all the time. He wasn't the uncle that this kid liked so much so he felt that he was deceiving him.

'It's not like it's my fault that I fell in that bastard's life...'

Kairen sighed and started to pat the kid's head.

Even though he didn't mind the kid hugging him or going around and shouting 'UNCLE UNCLE', Kaien was still curious about his behavior.

He didn't behave like this towards others, even his parent. He clearly treated Kairen differently than the others. 

Ariyan's parents both worked in SMF, so there must be lots of days that he couldn't see either one of them. Either his father or his mother is on a mission most of the days so he probably spends his days with one of them absent most of the time.

He must miss them both a lot.

Kairen looked at the kid that was toughly hugging his arm without saying anything as if that only was enough for him to be happy.

'Shouldn't he treat his parents like this instead of me?'

Kairen was only his uncle. He wasn't even a blood relative. He shouldn't be someone closer to him than his own parents. 

Besides that, he was a cadet until a few weeks ago and lived in the dormitory most of the time. 

'Kairen probably didn't have much free time to spend with this kid... was the previous Kairen too kind and nice to him? that probably isn't the case as that bastard was a crazed idiot...'

Kairen didn't like Kairen 1, the previous Kairen. It wasn't just that he didn't like him, he was starting to hate that person.

He didn't know the reason. 

No, he probably did know. There were so many reasons for him to hate that guy.

Maybe it was because he had to deal with someone else's life, or because he had to pretend to be someone else. 

He had to live his life as someone else and not himself, and make decisions based on someone else's desires and not on his. 

Maybe because he was so frustrated about being unable to go back to his own life and seeing the person he missed so much. 

Maybe because he felt guilty every time he saw the people who liked the previous Kairen because he thought he was deceiving them. 

Maybe because he was also starting to get attached to the people around Kairen 1, but couldn't act as himself near them. Because he knew that there was no way to see these people again if he went back to his own life. 

Or maybe he was just envious of him.

There were too many reasons. 

There were too many things that bothered Kairen and there was no one else to blame and vent his anger on other than Kairen 1. 

Kairen didn't like that previous Kairen and didn't want to accept that he was a good person. 

He must remain someone who he could blame everything on.

Kairen couldn't help but feel that the kid's attachment to him was too much while there were no reasons for that.

'Maybe I'm just overthinking.'

There was no problem with loving your uncle too much. A kid could like whoever he wanted to. Kairen thought he might be overthinking, but he decided to ask what was in his mind.

Kairen once again patted the kid who was sitting beside him and still hugging his arm without moving an inch and started talking.

"Say Ariyan, why are you hugging my arm like that? Don't you want to go play?"

"No."

"Why do you like to cling to me so much?"

"Un? Cling?"

The kid looked up at Kairen's face. He blinked a few times and tilted his head.

"Yeah, like hugging me all the time."

"Un... I like hugging uncle!"

He hugged Kairen's arm tougher.

"Why?"

Ariyan blinked his big, round, dark gray eyes again.

"Umm... uncle is nice and kind... I like uncle a lot!"

"..."

The kid said that and lowered his head.

'Nice and kind? Really?'

When Kairen was about to scoff in disbelief, he heard the kid's low voice.

"And he is warm. He feels nice. It's nice to hug..."

Kairen tilted his head.

"Feels nice?"

"Un!"

Ariyan nodded his head, still looking down.

'Hm? That's new...'

"What do you mean by nice? How does it feel exactly?"

"Umm..."

Ariyan looked up at him and thought for a moment. He then started talking with a smile and a happy face.

"It's nice... Like when mama hugs me when I pretend to be asleep and covers me with a blanket... Um... And when papa places me in his shoulders when we go out. And when... umm... It feels nice like when papa said he would always be there if anything were to happen to me and protect me. Also, like when mama said she would cook me anything I wanted every day."

"...."

The kid continued to talk happily.

"Also like that one time when papa placed his coat on my head when it suddenly started raining in the street so that I wouldn't get wet. And when mama places me on her laps and combs my hair every day."

"...."

The kid let go of Kairen's arm for a moment and opened his arms wide as if he wanted to hug the air.

"But it's much, muuuuchhh, a loooott stronger with uncle! This much more! Hehe!"

"...."

Kairen looked blankly at the kid who happily giggled, quickly hugged him again, and rubbed his cheek on Kairen's arm.

'He likes his uncle. His uncle also feels nice...'

Kairen still didn't get what the kid meant.

'Is it like feeling safe? Happy? Or at peace?'

Kairen thought that it would be a mix of such feelings after thinking about the situations that the kid described once more.

When your mother hugged you or your father said he would protect you, a kid would definitely feel warmth and happiness, along with a mixture of feeling safe and at peace. 

Those feelings were nice, not for a kid but also for adults.

'Why would you feel safe and peaceful around me?'

Kairen looked down at the kid with confusion. 

'Kiddo, why would you feel safe around a crazy-'

Click

While he was having such thoughts, he heard the sound of the house's door opening. 

"It's papa?"

Ariyan jumped out of the bed as soon as he heard the sound of the door opening and closing. He grabbed Kairen's hand and dragged him with himself outside the room and towards the door.

"Hi, dear."

"Hi, Alessia."

"Papa!"

"Hello- Oh, Kairen you were back?"

"Yes, hello."

"Lunch is ready. Wash your hands and come soon."

"Yes."

Kain obediently nodded and walked to the bathroom. Kairen helped Alessia set the lunch table while Kain held Ariyan back from sticking to Kairen after changing his clothes.

Alessia was a good cook. Everything she cooked was delicious, making you want to eat more and more. Kairen thought he needed to ask her to teach him cooking when he got the time. 

It would be nice if he could cook for himself. He couldn't always live with this family and had to buy a house for himself in the future and live alone.

With Kairen's current cooking skills, he would die in one week if he was to live alone.

After eating the launch and filling his stomach to the point of almost exploding, Kairen walked back to his room and lay on the bed. 

His mission was over and he didn't want to think about the things that would happen to him tomorrow. It wasn't even dark outside and he had a lot of free time.

Kairen wanted to check his phone and play games till night, but he was too exhausted to do that. He didn't even feel like moving his body to pick up his phone. Kairen stared at the ceiling without doing anything with a kid laying down right beside who was looking between Kairen's face and the white ceiling.

Kairen had just come back from a mission where he almost died. He couldn't sleep well last night because the room in the village was too small for all of them to lay down and he had to sleep while sitting and leaning against the cold wall. He also didn't get the chance to sleep much the night before that.

Kairen was too tired that he fell asleep after a few moments of staring at the ceiling.

Of course, a certain kid that was clinging to Kairen also fell asleep with him after that.