Chapter 190 - Darkness

He?

Who was he? 

He thought about it. He thought hard and long while still staring at the dazzling night sky. He thought about himself. About his name. About his age. 

But no matter how long he thought, he couldn't remember.

Didn't he have a name? 

What was he called? 

Called? Was there anyone who had called him before?

"Ah!"

He lowered his head as he felt a sharp pain in his head. 

Each time he thought about himself, a cold knife would stab his head. As if he was not allowed to know. As if he was not allowed to think.

but he wanted to know. At least his name. He wanted to know.

"Ah!"

The cold blade stabbed him again and again. 

He couldn't take it anymore. His sight went blurry and he felt his small body hitting the ground.

What was going on? 

Why couldn't he think properly?

Tap 

Tap 

Tap

He heard some footsteps. 

"- - - - "

" - - - -?"

He also heard some words. Words he couldn't understand the meaning of. Words that sounded really unfamiliar.

Ah, wait.

Did he know how to talk? Did he know how to write? 

He must know because he could understand himself. What language was he talking to himself in his mind right now? Where did he learn this? Why was this language the only thing he hadn't forgotten?

He felt like a blank paper thrown into an ocean. Maybe an ocean of darkness and blankness. His surroundings were dark. The sky was dark the stars were dark the ground was dark the lights he had seen in the distance were dark.

He felt like he was being drowned in that ocean of darkness. His mind was being soaked in the darkness and the darkness was filling the blank paper.

Was it bad? Should he do something about this darkness? Should he fight about it?

Even if he had to do something, he was too tired for it. He was too tired that even thinking was hard. 

So he just closed his eyes, letting his thought get drifted into darkness.

.

.

TAP TAP TAP TAP

"Bring that patient here!"

"Doctor? Where is the doctor?"

CREEEEKKK

"WAHHHH MAMAAA!"

TAK TAK TAK

"This patient is in a bad condition!"

The hospital was in chaos. 

People were in a panic, doctors were running around, children were crying, the wounded were being treated, the dead were being griefed for, the lost were being searched for. 

It was utter chaos. 

He passed the hall and entered a room. He wasn't there.

He left the room and entered another one. Then another one. Again another one. Until he eventually could see the one he was looking for in one of the rooms.

He stood by the door and looked at the person who was lying on the bed. The 19-20 years old boy was wrapped in bandages all over even though he was also checked by the healers. He was staring at the ceiling with a blank face. He seemed to not care about the surroundings at all.

He sighed in relief. He had found him. He was injured and looked lost, but it was fine. He was alive and that was enough for him.

Brushing away the frowning face he had for the whole duration he was searching in the hospital, he returned to his usual relaxed expression and walked towards the bed.

Plop

He sat down on the chair beside the bed. It was only after noticing that he was there that the boy on the bed finally looked away from the ceiling and instead looked at him. 

The look in his eyes was different than usual. It was as if he had lost something big. As if he had the worst experience in his life.

"Kairen? Why are you here?"

He didn't answer the boy's question and just leaned back on his chair.

"It's dangerous here. Go back."

Kain commented again. 

"Kairen, go back. Pelase!"

It was not like his usual way of ordering him around. The boy was nearly pleading.

He could understand how tired and probably shaken Kain was only by looking at his face and hearing his tone. But there was nothing he could do about it.

Or maybe... there was.

Not now, maybe before. Maybe he could've done something.

He lowered his head and massaged his throbbing temples. 

It hurt a lot. From the moment 'that' happened early today, the old cold blade was back again, stabbing his brain countless times.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN?"

The loud voice of a teenager was heard from the hall.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT HE IS DEAD? HOW CAN UNCLE DIE LIKE THIS?"

The angry voice sounded kind of familiar. He looked away from Kain and looked outside the door.

"Please calm down, young mas-"

"What about father?"

He looked at the teenager who was not listening to anyone and was just yelling loudly.

"WHERE IS FATHER?"

The blonde-haired blue-eyed boy kept on shaking someone. Even though he seemed shorter and weaker than the other man, he was still powerfully shaking that man's body.

"THAT... THAT CAN'T BE, RIGHT? HE IS AT WORK, RIGHT? LIKE USUAL HE IS LATE, RIGHT?"

He looked at that boy. The boy looked familiar.

"HE IS OUT THERE TAKING CARE OF THIS SHIT, RIGHT? RIGHT?"

Wasn't he that student in their class? That one rich guy who was the class president? The boy who was pretty famous for being from a big family? The handsome boy who was the dream of every single girl in the school? The one whom everyone did their best to cling to because of his wealth? 

Yeah. It was definitely that boy.

"WHY DON'T YOU SAY ANYTHING?"

He tilted his head.

He had only known that boy for a few months but he felt that he had known him for years. As if they were be best friends for a long time or some such. 

How odd.

He had never felt this way before. He was in the same class with him but never paid him much attention. Why was he having such thoughts now?

Why was that? Was it because of this headache? 

Every time this headache came, he would feel strange things. Just like now.

Maybe he should go talk to this boy later when things are better.

He would be probably yelled at, the same way that the boy treats other people who try to cling to him... but he had to find out the reason behind his strange thoughts.

"Huff..."

The weather felt hot.

His head hurt even more.

That person, who was wearing some kind of a military uniform and seemed to also be wounded, shook his head.

"I'm really sorry..."

The blonde boy stopped yelling. 

His mouth closed and his shoulders dropped. He was frozen in his place. As if he couldn't breathe for a moment. His hands started to shake as the color left his face.

"That... that... How?"

He shook the man once again.

"How is this possible?"

He didn't know why, but he stood up and walked to the door, still watching the scene going on in the hall.

"W-wasn't he... the strongest?" 

The blonde boy stopped and took deep breathes after each sentence.

"Wasn't he... wasn't he the best?"

Drip

Drip

Tears were dropping down to the ground.

"How can the..."

He let go of the man he was holding and instead clenched his fists.

"HOW CAN THE COMMANDER DIE LIKE THIS? HE WAS THE COMMANDER OF ALL! HE WAS THE STRONGEST! THERE IS NO WAY THIS IS TRUE! YOU ARE LYING! LIAR!"

The man slowly took some steps back with a sorry face.

"Reyan!"

A woman called out the name of the blonde boy as she ran towards him from the other side of the hall. The beautiful woman's eyes were bloodshot and her expression was grave.

"Who?"

Reyan didn't turn towards the woman.

"Who did this?"

By now, he was already standing at the door of the room. He could see the blonde boy better now.

For a moment, he thought that the boy was too young. He felt that that boy had to be a little bit older. Maybe a little bit taller, somehow stronger... and somehow more mature. He felt that he was looking at the wrong version of his classmate.

That was how things were supposed to be... or maybe become... he thought.

"It was... Philomns..."

The man lowered his head as he mumbled those towards.

"It was him. It was them."

"...."

The boy said nothing more.

"Reyan!"

The woman was already standing behind him. She hugged the boy from behind. 

"Calm down, son!"

"...."

The blonde boy was embraced toughly by his mother.

"...Both of them... Both uncle and father..."

He mumbled in his mother's embrace.

The woman also said nothing. She just held her son and patted his back.

Looking at those people, he wondered.

Couldn't he do something about it?

Couldn't he... prevent this disaster?

"Huff..."

He leaned against the wall. His head was spinning. It was hot. The blades were stabbing him.

"Huff..."

Couldn't he really stop this incident?

He could. 

If only he knew the meaning behind those dreams. If only he was powerful. If only he had people who would believe him. If only he could prove his words. If only he could put the puzzle pieces that were shown to him together and found out sooner, he could've prevented this.

It was dark. 

It was dark once again.

THUD

He felt his body touch the cold flooring, but it was too dark for him to see what was happening. He could also hear some noises. 

Though he couldn't distinguish them, he could still guess what was going on. 

People were probably gathering around him and Kain was probably calling his name with that usually worried face of his. 

Ah, poor Kain!

He had to go through a lot today already, and here he was making things even harder for him. How could he ever repay him for his kindness? He always wondered. He felt like a dirty piece of scum, like a thorn in the world who was only capable of hurting people. 

"Huff... Huff..."

Why did this happen again? He had been fine for months and hadn't shown any symptoms. 

Was it also because of the things that happened today? Because of 'that'?

Or maybe because those dreams he kept having for days had finally come true? 

He didn't know anymore. He was tired.. He just wanted to close his eyes and let his heavy mind soak in the darkness again.