“Sorry to keep you waiting.”
After finishing my shift at the convenience store, I approached Hayashi, who had been waiting and reading a magazine inside. Hayashi put the magazine away, and we headed back to my house.
“So this is Yamamoto’s room, huh?”
“It’s pretty neat, right?”
“It’s just empty, that’s all.”
You could say that. I’m not a very materialistic person. If anything, I prefer my room this way, as it makes cleaning easier. Moreover, as a new college student, my financial situation is not great, which also contributes to the room’s condition.
“Anyway, have a seat. I’ll get you some barley tea.”
“Thanks.”
After watching Hayashi sit down on the cushion, I went to the fridge, took out the barley tea, poured it into a glass, and served it to her.
As Hayashi sipped her barley tea and an awkward silence filled the room.
I suddenly realized that this was the first time I had ever brought a girl to my house like this. Moreover, since around middle school, I had hardly had any female friends or spent time with them.
My heart started to ache. Get it together. Get it together.
The reason I brought Hayashi home today was not to become a wolf with her. It was to protect her from her boyfriend.
“Thanks.”
After finishing her barley tea, Hayashi, seemingly calmer now, expressed her gratitude.
“It’s just some barley tea.”
“No, the timing was just right.”
Timing, huh…?
As I tried to calmly consider her situation, I thought about her summer sweatshirt, the bruise on her wrist, and the fact that her boyfriend had caused it. Her current situation was, in a word… domestic violence, as I had suspected.
“I just needed a little time for both of us to calm down.”
Who exactly needed time to calm down? Well, there’s no need to think about it.
“I think he was just upset for a moment.”
“Are you talking about your boyfriend?”
“That’s right. He doesn’t usually hit me. It’s just that he gets frustrated on days when he messes up at work. I know I should be there to support him, though.”
“I never thought I’d hear such words from you back in high school.”
“Shut up. Even I can change.”
Whether that change is good or bad, I can’t be sure.
Once again, I reviewed Hayashi’s words in my head and tried to understand the situation. Based on her explanation, it seemed that she had accepted my invitation to create some cooling-off time for both her and her boyfriend. The injury was inflicted by her boyfriend, but it was just a momentary lapse.
If that’s the case, my intervention at that moment would have been in vain. If I had known, I wouldn’t have told her to come and stay at my house.
That is, if it’s true.
“Do you want to stay tonight?”
“Is it okay? I feel bad.”
“We should help each other out when we’re in trouble.”
“You’re also saying something you wouldn’t have said back in high school.”
I closed my mouth. I haven’t changed since then. But I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or bad thing…
“Can I use the shower?”
“Do as you like.”
“Do you have any clothes I can change into?”
“Only men’s clothes, okay?”
“That’s fine.”
“…You can use the bed when you sleep. I’ll sleep on the floor.”
“…Sorry.”
Today was Wednesday, but as it was summer break, I usually slept at home until noon after a late-night shift. From the way Hayashi was acting, it seems she hadn’t slept much either.
The walls between the bathroom and living room were thin. The sound of the shower drowned out the noise from the TV in the living room and reached my ears.
“I feel refreshed. Thanks.”
“No problem.”
I regretted handing her a short-sleeved T-shirt. Besides her wrists, there were indeed more bruises scattered across Hayashi’s body.
“…Yeah, it’s pretty bad, huh?”
She said it nonchalantly.
“Did your boyfriend do all of this?”
“Yeah, he did.”
“It looks like some of the bruises are healing, though?”
“So what?”
Hayashi’s face twisted conspicuously. It wasn’t the same expression of fear from before; now, it revealed her discomfort.
Don’t bring this up any further. That’s what Hayashi seemed to be implying.
If I were in Hayashi’s position, I would probably resent my boyfriend. Hitting and hurting her so much would be unforgivable. At least, that’s what I would think.
However, from what she’s said so far, Hayashi doesn’t seem to harbor such feelings towards her current boyfriend. Is love blind, or is she dependent on him? I don’t know what’s in her heart. More so, I don’t understand the difference between blind love and dependence.
Anyway, if she doesn’t want me to dig up her relationship with her boyfriend, that’s fine. If she goes back to him as she is now, I don’t mind.
She doesn’t think her views are wrong. If that’s the case, the chance of her changing her attitude even if I offer an alternative is slim.
“I don’t think you should be with someone who hurts you like that.”
However, that doesn’t mean I won’t suggest an alternative.
“What do you know?”
Hayashi became even more irritated.
“I don’t know how you feel. That was just my opinion.”
“I never asked for your opinion.”
“That’s why I didn’t tell you to listen to my opinion.”
“…Then why did you say that?”
“For my own sake.”
As I shrugged my shoulders, Hayashi looked exasperated.
“In the future, if something happens to you, everyone will ask me, who was involved with you, why I didn’t stop you. Whether or not I can say I tried to stop you can change how others see me.”
“…You don’t have enough friends to worry about what others think.”
“Because I don’t have friends, I get blamed for selfish things later on. People can do anything to others to relieve their own stress, as long as they have a justification.”
Vigilante justice, which is a hot topic these days, is a perfect example. People who are originally outsiders can’t help but get involved when they see someone else’s controversy. Of course, there are many problems with the person who caused the controversy, but the matter should be settled between the victim and the perpetrator, and it’s strange for third parties to intervene. Still, people foolishly and viciously attack others like fish in water. They are truly foolish. People are truly foolish.
“Anyway, what I want to say is that, in the end, people are self-centered creatures.”
“…So what?”
“You get hit because of the stress from his failed work. That’s the reason your boyfriend hits you, right? Is what he’s doing really for your sake?”
“…That’s…”
“You’re just being used, you know?”
Hayashi looked down in silence.
“…If you still want to go back to him, I won’t say anything. Being willing to support someone even if they hit you… it’s a wonderful thing to live for others. Even if that leads to your own destruction, I think you deserve to be praised. But strangely enough, no one in this world will praise you for doing something no one else can do. Even if you sacrifice yourself, you won’t get any gratitude or compensation… not even from your boyfriend.”
In other words, what I want to say is… from an objective perspective, Hayashi’s current actions were not worth the price she’s paid so far.
My sarcastic tone was due to my own unpleasant personality. I can’t help but feel that such a way of speaking was counterproductive to someone whose head was filled with rage. But unfortunately, this was the only way I can express myself…
In other words, I’ve done all I can. If Hayashi doesn’t listen to me now, there’s nothing more I can do.
“…I don’t want that.”
However, it seemed that Hayashi wasn’t foolish enough to lose herself in anger. I honestly thought she would become emotional and storm out of the room, so it was a bit surprising.
She sighed deeply and flopped onto my bed.
“…I’ve become sleepy.”
“Sleep well and take your time to think. There’s plenty of time.”
“You’re so detached. You must not be popular.”
“Is being detached the reason for not being popular?”
So that’s why I’m not popular. I seem to have become wiser. But becoming wiser doesn’t solve the fundamental problem, so I’ll never be popular. That’s a shame.
“I’m turning off the light.”
Even if I turn off the light, the room is still bright. Well, it’s just a formality.
I didn’t get a response from Hayashi. Was she already asleep? What was it? I pressed the button with a click and lay down on the floor.
For a while, I played with my smartphone while lying down, and closed my eyes when I got bored.
However, maybe it’s because of the sleeping arrangement or the unusual situation of having someone of the opposite s*x in the room, but I couldn’t sleep at all.
“Hey.”
After a while, I heard a voice from Hayashi, who I thought was asleep in the bed.
“Do you want to do it?”
For a moment, my heart skipped a beat, but I decided to stay silent. What was she planning to do? I wouldn’t dare to question her. The reason I sheltered her here today was nothing more than a whim. If I ended up spending a one-night stand with her as a result of that whim, I wouldn’t be able to criticize her lover anymore.
No more words came from Hayashi. It seemed like she had given up.
Or so I thought, but suddenly, I felt warmth on my back.
“Ah!”
When my sensitive skin was touched, I couldn’t help but let out a loud scream.
“Haha. I knew you were awake.”
“What… are you doing?”
“I’ve just hugged you, that’s all.”
“Who said you could hug me?”
“Do I need permission to hug?”
I might not need her permission, but shouldn’t she need her lover’s permission? Even though he treated her horribly, he’s still technically her lover.
But, thinking that now was not the time to bring up her lover, I only bit my lower lip.
“… Are you a virgin, by any chance?”
“What if I am?”
“Liar.”
I stayed silent.
“… You’re just putting on airs. For the first time, I think you’re kind of cute.”
“… Shut up.”
I tried to forcefully pull Hayashi away from me, but in doing so, I noticed that her body was trembling.
Earlier, she showed anger at me for badmouthing her lover, but deep down, she must have had doubts about him.
“At first, he wasn’t like that. He was kind, thoughtful, and he listened to most of my whims. It was only after we started living together that he changed.”
He must have revealed his true nature after they started living together.
I didn’t say anything because I thought any words I could say now would only hurt her.
“It was terrible. Whenever he was in a bad mood, even outside of work, he would hit me. His boiling point was unusually low. Anyway, I kept thinking, ‘What’s there to be angry about?'”
Hayashi’s grip on me tightened as she hugged me.
“He initially said I could be a housewife, but before I knew it, he’d be saying things like, ‘Why are you always at home? You good-for-nothing, go get a job.’ It was really awful.”
“… You’ve endured a lot.”
“Huh?”
I accidentally let out an uncharacteristic remark. My face felt hot. I never thought words of comfort would come from my mouth.
… But considering the intense experiences she’s had in just a few months since graduating high school – dropping out of college, getting disowned by her parents, and having her dignity trampled by an abusive boyfriend – the words just slipped out.
“What did you just say?”
“… I won’t say it again.”
“Come on, say it one more time.”
“Going to sleep.”
“Ah… Haha, fine then.”
What a presumptuous thing to say. I was about to complain, but thinking that it would lead to another fruitless argument, I closed my eyes silently.
“Thank you. It’s been a long time since someone told me I’ve done well… It made me happy.”
Hayashi whispered into my ear.
“… You really have done well.”
When I wake up, I’ll think about what’s next for her. For now, I need to sleep to recover from my work fatigue.
