That night, after I had agreed to let Hayashi stay at my place, we were having dinner together.
It had been a few hours since she came to stay at my home. I didn’t have any concerns this morning before I went to sleep, but now that we were here, the atmosphere felt incredibly awkward between the two of us.
Hayashi and I were classmates in high school. However, we didn’t talk much during our time in school. She didn’t particularly like carefree people like me, and I didn’t have many female friends. Besides, I think she didn’t have a favourable opinion of me back then either.
That’s why it felt so awkward.
“Hey,”
Hayashi broke the silence.
“What is it?”
“I wonder what he’s doing right now.”
She was probably referring to the man she had been living with. Despite being a victim of domestic violence, I couldn’t understand why she would care about him.
“Do you still have feelings for him?”
“No, it’s not that.”
“It’s not, huh.”
I immediately answered, which seemed cruel… But considering her actions so far, it didn’t matter. It was a good thing that she ended that relationship.
“…I’m just a little scared, that’s all.”
With a straightforward tone, Hayashi spoke. Despite her calm voice, her words revealed her fear.
She was scared. Having been subjected to domestic violence for months, she was terrified of experiencing the same thing again. It was a natural progression of events.
“I heard words from you that I never would have expected back in high school.”
We had already informed the police, and she would be hidden in my house, where her boyfriend wouldn’t find her. Worrying was a waste of time. Instead of being afraid, we should talk about lighter topics. That was the intention behind my remark. My twisted personality was the reason it didn’t sound like that.
Honestly, Hayashi had chosen the wrong person to rely on. I genuinely believed that. She had terrible luck with men – from the one who committed domestic violence to me.
“…Thank you.”
Hayashi expressed her gratitude to me. I was surprised and widened my eyes, expecting her to be angry or exasperated.
“Why are you making a face like a pigeon that’s been shot by a peashooter?”
“…Because.”
“Of course I’d be grateful.”
Hayashi gave me a shy glance.
“If you hadn’t told me to come to your place back then, I would still be suffering from his violence. I wouldn’t have even gone to the police or had the chance to bring him to justice. Even now, you’re trying to comfort me with your light-hearted tone, aren’t you?”
“You heard my remark like that?”
“Was I wrong?”
“…No, you’re right.”
Don’t make me say it. It’s embarrassing.
…Back in high school, Hayashi and I didn’t talk much. I didn’t have any reason to approach her, and since she usually responded coldly or with harsh words, I thought she didn’t like me and intentionally avoided talking to her.
However, she might not have thought as poorly of me as I thought.
Our classmates called her “the Queen.”
She had a beautiful face and a figure that everyone envied. Her bold and clear words made her appear intimidating, like a queen, to those around her. Even though I never openly called her that, I remember feeling it made perfect sense for her to be called the Queen.
But she might be more understanding than she appears.
No, I don’t know that yet.
It’s arrogant to think I know everything about her after just one day together and with her only showing understanding in a single instance.
“Your boyfriend is probably searching for you frantically right now.”
“…I see.”
“You should stay in this room for a while. …You should also get a new phone, but I need you to hold off on that for a bit.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t know how he could find out where you are.”
I don’t know how Hayashi and her boyfriend started dating, but seeing her in high school, it’s not hard to imagine that her social circle is so vast that I can’t even fathom it. I have no idea how he could find out where she is.
“…You’re right. I understand.”
“I’m sorry for making you live like this. …I have a part-time job, so I can’t always be at home. If something happens to you while I’m away, I won’t be able to do anything.”
“…Heh.”
“What’s so funny?”
“I just wondered why you’re apologizing to me in this situation.”
That’s true.
Even though I was the one who was dragged into this situation by Hayashi, I still felt the need to accommodate her needs completely. But even now, as she laughs at me, I still feel guilty, so it must not be wrong.
“…I just realized that this is what a real relationship should be like.”
“Huh?”
“Being able to apologize to the other person even when you’re not at fault. Taking their feelings into consideration and acting for their sake. He didn’t have either of those qualities.”
Hayashi tried to support her boyfriend even when he hit her. I thought it was her good-natured spirit that led her to act this way, but it seems that her actions stemmed from her ideal of a romantic relationship.
Now, I apologize to her even though I’m not at fault, and I consider her feelings, encourage her, and devote time to her. It seems Hayashi was genuinely happy about that.
…However.
“But we’re not exactly in a romantic relationship, you know.”
“That’s true.”
Hayashi laughed, “Ahaha.”
Since we’ve reunited, I haven’t seen her smile that much. On the contrary, I’ve seen her looking down with a serious expression or wearing a sad face more than I’d like.
If it takes any kind of situation to make her smile, I wouldn’t mind at all.
