Chapter 275 - Conflicted And True Feelings

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CHAPTER 275

For Li Jing, the days to last week of the end of the month quickly came while for Ye Cheng, it felt like an eternity. Each day at work was like a different kind of torture when he doesn't see her.

Sometimes he subconsciously walked over to her office just to see you and as soon as he laid eyes on her personal assistant, that was when it dawned on him that she was not around.

Other times he would ignore it and still go inside the office, wishing and hoping she was there. When he sees no one, he would smile to himself with his hands in his pocket and let himself breathe in her scent.

All these while he prohibited anyone from entering the office, not even to clean it. He wanted to always take in her scent whenever he could even though he knew he would have to change that soon as her office would be collecting dust.

After doing this, he would call out her name softly then smile at her chair before calling out his name loudly and scolding himself.

"Ye Cheng! This isn't you. Wake up. She has gone, left like the others. It is time to move on. You both are of different worlds now. She is going to be busy. Worse is that you need to find her. You made a promise to mother so perhaps this is nature's own way of telling you to continue your search for her."

He took his hand off his pocket and ruffled his hair, then his smile dropped, leaving his face emotionless and cold.

"I miss her. I miss them and I do not know anymore. I know I like Li Jing, as in a lot but for her, it was different. I met her that day and it felt like I have known her forever. Although Li Jing gives me some similar vibes at times, it is different. I just know it."

He paused and the next thing Ye Cheng burst out laughing. "You are pathetic, man. Why are you still staying true to someone who you know nothing about? What if she has gotten married?"

It was like that was when reality dawned on him. Even though he wished not, but he could not deny the reality that the possibility was very likeable.

He was here, searching with no clue whatsoever of a family he didn't know much about. His mother who led the investigation was already losing it entirely not to speak of himself who wasn't as close to the family.

Still, he hoped and his face suddenly turned sour. Ye Cheng felt a sharp pain in his heart at the thought of the missing girl getting married to someone else.

"Why does it hurt? Why do I miss a childhood promise? Why is it that it pains me more when I think of the fact that she left me more than when it was Li Jing that did? Do I love her? Or am I just so stupid holding on?"

He shook his head and turned around, evading his gaze from Li Jing's seat. He was already feeling guilty as though he was cheating on both of them when he wasn't even with any of them.

"Why is it hard to love Li Jing? Is it because my heart had been hurt before or because, really my heart never once left her and due to that, loving Li Jing has become a hard thing to do?"

If he was truthful to himself, he had always loved that little girl and that was why he never once had a girlfriend but kept away from girls, in hopes of remaining as he was for her.

The only exception he had was Bai Qing Mei and that was because of his refusal to date her and return her feelings broke her miserable.

Yes, she was his best friend then but he could not deny the fact that he was still attracted to her. Nevertheless, he was not ready to base his relationship on attraction and not love but after watching her turn into something else because of it, he gave in and tried to love her.

In the process, his heart was already open to loving her and that was when their relationship got stronger. It was at this point that both best friends decided to play on his intelligence and kill him.

So imagine the hurt Ye Cheng felt when he found out the truth. He regretted and blamed himself each day for even agreeing to love someone else and each day he also scolded himself for not remaining true to her, his first love.

Unfortunately for him, the future had other plans in store for him and his fragile heart started leaning towards Li Jing who was a pure naïve, fragile, beautiful soul.

She was different from Bai Qing Mei in everything and anything. She wasn't as vile as his ex and was bloody more charming than any lady he had laid his eyes on. 

So forgive his poor hurt heart for leaning in her direction and allowing himself to fall for her.

The most painful part about it all was that he was to remain cold and shoo everyone away but due to Li Jing saving his life, he did not have the heart to do that and kept her close to protect her life as well and in the process, he started becoming overprotective of her and getting jealous.

What a guy!

Sigh! He was losing it. He had already lost it. He was torn between two worlds. Not knowing what to do and what risk to take.

A part of him wanted Li Jing and another part of him refused it, that was the part that was scared of getting hurt again and wanted to remain loyal to his missing love.

"What do I do? Nature why are you playing your trick on me? Why can't I just be okay and love whom I want to? Why did you take her away from me? Why aren't you fair?"