CH 33
Masha, who hesitated for a long time at my words, managed to open her mouth.
“You’re telling me you know where Dante is and you’re going to find him?”
At first glance, it was a very natural question. I can’t just go looking for Dante in a situation where I don’t even know where he is.
I groaned and crossed my arms.
“I know, right. Masha, where is Dante?”
“…Why do you ask me that?”
“I thought you would know.”
Masha hesitated just as she was holding the teacup.
“You said earlier that you just picked it up because there were high-ranking customers, but you know too much for a person who just heard the news.”
“…”
“As if you’ve collected these newspapers separately.”
Thud, I tapped the bundle of newspapers with my fingers.
“I thought you deliberately learned more about the war or Dante… Is it not?”
“…Why are you so sensible in such a useless sense?”
I laughed briefly. If you live for a long time, you’ll get more quick-witted, well.
“I only guess the fact that you know Dante’s whereabouts. Judging by your reaction, it seems that you really do.”
Masha sighed heavily. Then she slapped the freshly poured tea straight down her throat, and she set it down violently, as if she was breaking the cup.
“You’re right.”
“Yep, I knew it.”
“It’s true that I deliberately found out more, and it’s also true that I know where Dante is now… Are you really going?”
It was me who was once again puzzled by the question. If I don’t go looking for Dante now, where will I go?
When I tilted my head to one side and put a confused look, Masha sighed once more.
“If you get there, Dante might not recognize you.”
“…”
“It’s not that I don’t understand your feelings, but I’m honestly worried.”
Masha cleared away the stack of newspapers and took my hand. Her body temperature, slightly higher than mine, enveloped my fingers, holding them tight enough not to hurt me.
“Let’s say that you finally met Dante after going through all kinds of hardships. But what are you going to do after you meet? If you think about it from Dante’s point of view, you were already dead then.”
“…”
“What if Dante doesn’t believe your story?”
It was obvious what Masha was talking about, “your story.” The story that I died but came back to life, and it only took me 10 years to come back to life.
It’s something one can’t easily believe. It’s also a difficult thing to say to someone who is rumored to be crazy.
But is it time to worry about that?
“I can’t help but to go there.”
Since I died without being able to tell Dante my secret, persuading him to believe in me saying that I was dead and revived was a challenge anyway. Whether I visit Dante in person, or meet him miraculously without doing that.
And my heart was too in a hurry for me to hesitate to go because I didn’t think he would believe it.
“Let’s meet him first and I’ll think about how to persuade him, well. I wouldn’t know this unless I actually bumped into it yourself.”
“…I mean, do you have to be in such a hurry?”
“I thought the sooner, the better.”
When I shrugged, Masha’s face wrinkled and changed to that of someone who had given up before.
“I heard it was yesterday when you just woke up after you died. If you rest a little more, that place isn’t going anywhere, is it?”
“I can’t even rest properly at this state.”
“Phew.”
It was already the third sigh. However, when I heard her sigh, I knew Masha wouldn’t hold me back any longer.
“Alright, let me tell you… But it’s only a publicly known place, no one knows if Dante is really there.”
“That’s fine.”
The important thing for me was that there was a place to go. And if I don’t find it, I can come back right away.
“They said he was stuck in one place after the war and didn’t come out.”
“Where is that?”
“The Magic Tower.”
In response to the succinct reply, I said nothing for a moment.
“…Well, if it’s such an obvious place.”
“The fact that it’s obvious isn’t the problem. The problem is that you go to the Magic Tower.”
Masha pulled out a map from the bottom of the stack of newspapers. There is a country, a continent, and a map that closely records the land and sea.
Marsha, who turned the map toward me to make it easier to see, pointed at a spot. The location is probably near the edge of the Empire.
It was on the opposite side of the capital.
“The Magic Tower is here.”
“…How long will it take to get here?”
“I don’t know.”
Masha shrugged her shoulders.
“But I’m sure it will take a very long time.”
Of course… Because I won’t be able to go there all at once. First, how to get there is a problem.
No, the method and time were both problems. No matter what means of transportation, it was obvious that this distance would take up quite a bit of time. Should I withdraw the idea that I can just come back right away if I don’t find him there?
“I’m struggling so much to go see my husband…”
“You said you would go through all those hardships.”
Masha’s words were harsh, yet there was nothing wrong with them. Yes, I said I would do everything, but what can I do?
I tilted my head and stared at the ceiling for a moment, then looked back at the map. Underneath the black dot, the word ‘Magic Tower’ was written clearly.
Dante is here. If the rumor that he was stuck and never came out after the war is right.
…It seemed that this was the first time I had hoped that Dante was doing what I was hearing.
***
Two mornings after that.
“I packed everything yesterday. Do you need to take care of me like this?”
“Of course I do. You, stay there. I’ll be back soon!”
I caught Masha trying to take the things I packed last night. She said she wanted to check it again if I packed it properly.
About half an hour after I said yes, Masha’s house was again in a mess the way I had first seen it.
Clink, clank. Something fell and broke in time with Masha’s movement.
I think the inside of this house is collapsing, is it okay? I looked at Masha with a tired expression, yet Masha continued to search for something and made more mess in her room.
“I can take care of it, Masha.”
“You can take care of what? You saw how far away the Magic Tower is, no one knows how long it might take to get there!”
“I will arrive before I die, whatever.”
“Because you’re not going to die!”
Masha screamed, and I quickly covered my ears. Masha’s voice, which is usually high-pitched, was even higher today.
“It’s okay to be a little uncomfortable on the way. I’m not looking forward to a comfortable trip anyway.”
“Turns out you really don’t have any countermeasures.”
“I guess that’s the case.”
In response to my easy going answer, Masha tapped her forehead with a bewildered face.
“To think that I’ve been worrying about you in the past 10 years…”
“Thank you for your worries. Ah, I wish I could bring those clothes.”
“This?”
I nodded when I saw the outer garment in Masha’s hand. Since I’m going homeless, it would be good to bring as many clothes as possible.
I stared at Masha, who kept nagging me, but still took care of my luggage, and quietly opened my mouth.
“Thank you for everything other than your worries.”
“For what?”
“Just everything. Thank you for taking care of my luggage and finding out how to get to the Magic Tower. I couldn’t have done anything without you.”
Well, after I said that, it really is true. Not empty words, if it wasn’t for Masha, I really wouldn’t be able to do anything. As I thought about it, I got a little embarrassed and turned my eyes. Masha smiled and, as she finished folding clothes, she said.
“Come back and thank me. You shouldn’t forget me and go somewhere else just because you’ve met your husband, understand?”
“Of course. How can I forget you?”
“Your forgetfulness is so severe that I don’t trust you, but… Yeah, whatever.”
“Just because I’m forgetful, how can you… No, my memory is normal.”
“Yeah, yeah. If you say so, then so be it.”
I don’t believe it. For some reason, I rested my chin in a slightly dissatisfied mood. It seemed that my memory was constantly being questioned by Masha because of what happened earlier.
The trouble was that when I was having breakfast with Masha, the story of exactly how long I had lived came up.
[You don’t know your exact age then? Besides that you’ve lived for over 150 years.]
[Hmm… I can’t remember how old I was before I came over here.]
[Let’s just say that it fits roughly… When did you come over? Do you know that?]
[The first thing I saw when I came here was the scenery of people holding purple flags and celebrating.]
[Purple Flag Festival… Wait a minute, I think I saw it in a history book…]
Masha must have been studying history hard, and she guessed my age based on what I had seen so far.
There was no way to know my exact age, yet the rough estimate was a bit shocking.
[Even if you can’t, you’ve lived 200 years.]
[Huh? It’s been that long?]
[Even if I estimate the time it took for you to come back to life after death is 20 years, you’re over 200 years. I wondered how you didn’t know your age, but if you had lived this long, it’s about time when you forget how old you are and what happened yesterday. I understand your forgetfulness now.]
Along with the knowledgeable eyes, I received a strangely uncomfortable understanding. It’s like, I feel like I’m treated like an old woman…
Anyway, it’s been like that ever since. Your forgetfulness, your forgetfulness, she says.
In the end, with the misunderstanding about my memory still unresolved, I finished preparing to depart for the Magic Tower.
***
M4.
Masha looked at her own friend checking her luggage.
No matter how much she told her that she was going to a dangerous place and that her husband was crazy right now, Ei was calm. As much as Ei was easygoing, Masha’s insides were burning.
As expected, Masha was worried. She thought she would cancel all of her schedules and follow Ei, but she stopped because she knew Ei would do so.
She’s sure she’ll stop her worries about the aftermath. Saying, “What are you going to do with your work? The road may be rough.” It’s funny, really. She hasn’t been alive in a while, yet she’s worried about someone else.
She tried to say it sarcastically inwardly, but it only made Masha feel worse.
Masha hesitated for a while before opening her mouth to ask what she had been thinking about.
“Ei.”
“Hm?”
“Are you really okay?”
“Of course, I’m okay. I’m still going, knowing that everything will be difficult.”
“No, not that. I’m talking about the explosion.”
Pause. Ei’s movement stopped, and soon, her light brown eyes rolled towards Marsha. As always, Masha frowned at those eyes, whose inside she didn’t know.
“Just because you died and came back to life doesn’t mean you lost what you experienced.”
“…”
“I’m saying this because I don’t think I can be as calm as you.”
The explosion that took the village was one of the topics Marsha didn’t want to talk about, yet now she had to bring it up. If I don’t ask her now, I don’t know when I’ll be able to ask this again.
“The bomb… If it exploded under my feet, I would be afraid of everything. I would be reluctant to even walk down the street.”
From Masha’s point of view, she is a friend who appeared after 10 years, however, Ei died and when she opened her eyes, she heard 10 years had passed without her knowledge.
In other words, to Ei, the explosion of 10 years ago might feel like yesterday.
She was worried about her going to Dante and sending her on such a long journey alone, but the most worrisome thing was, “Is Ei really okay?”
Is it really okay now for Ei, who has gone through something that others can’t forget even if they try to because it left them mentally broken?
She was silent for a moment. Ei, who had been staring at Marsha without answering, opened her mouth.
“Well. I don’t know.”
“…”
“I haven’t thought about that in a while. If I think too deeply, it only hurts me.”
As I can’t just die because I’m not okay. Her last words were added as if they were a joke, and her gaze at Masha was unmoved.
However, Masha was rather saddened by that nonchalant answer. The more Ei chewed her words, the more it felt as if something had broken in the bottom of her heart.
Did Ei really think that way because she wanted to? Masha questioned herself, yet no matter how much she thought about it, she couldn’t come up with an answer.
How many years did it take for that to happen to her? She had aged normally, had lived a normal life, and hadn’t even guessed that she would live a normal life in the future, so Masha couldn’t comfort her own friend after all.
Her clumsy pretending to know will rather be poison.
The only thing Masha could do was give Ei a hug right before she left.
She just wished to see her friend again.
“You’re telling me you know where Dante is and you’re going to find him?”
At first glance, it was a very natural question. I can’t just go looking for Dante in a situation where I don’t even know where he is.
I groaned and crossed my arms.
“I know, right. Masha, where is Dante?”
“…Why do you ask me that?”
“I thought you would know.”
Masha hesitated just as she was holding the teacup.
“You said earlier that you just picked it up because there were high-ranking customers, but you know too much for a person who just heard the news.”
“…”
“As if you’ve collected these newspapers separately.”
Thud, I tapped the bundle of newspapers with my fingers.
“I thought you deliberately learned more about the war or Dante… Is it not?”
“…Why are you so sensible in such a useless sense?”
I laughed briefly. If you live for a long time, you’ll get more quick-witted, well.
“I only guess the fact that you know Dante’s whereabouts. Judging by your reaction, it seems that you really do.”
Masha sighed heavily. Then she slapped the freshly poured tea straight down her throat, and she set it down violently, as if she was breaking the cup.
“You’re right.”
“Yep, I knew it.”
“It’s true that I deliberately found out more, and it’s also true that I know where Dante is now… Are you really going?”
It was me who was once again puzzled by the question. If I don’t go looking for Dante now, where will I go?
When I tilted my head to one side and put a confused look, Masha sighed once more.
“If you get there, Dante might not recognize you.”
“…”
“It’s not that I don’t understand your feelings, but I’m honestly worried.”
Masha cleared away the stack of newspapers and took my hand. Her body temperature, slightly higher than mine, enveloped my fingers, holding them tight enough not to hurt me.
“Let’s say that you finally met Dante after going through all kinds of hardships. But what are you going to do after you meet? If you think about it from Dante’s point of view, you were already dead then.”
“…”
“What if Dante doesn’t believe your story?”
It was obvious what Masha was talking about, “your story.” The story that I died but came back to life, and it only took me 10 years to come back to life.
It’s something one can’t easily believe. It’s also a difficult thing to say to someone who is rumored to be crazy.
But is it time to worry about that?
“I can’t help but to go there.”
Since I died without being able to tell Dante my secret, persuading him to believe in me saying that I was dead and revived was a challenge anyway. Whether I visit Dante in person, or meet him miraculously without doing that.
And my heart was too in a hurry for me to hesitate to go because I didn’t think he would believe it.
“Let’s meet him first and I’ll think about how to persuade him, well. I wouldn’t know this unless I actually bumped into it yourself.”
“…I mean, do you have to be in such a hurry?”
“I thought the sooner, the better.”
When I shrugged, Masha’s face wrinkled and changed to that of someone who had given up before.
“I heard it was yesterday when you just woke up after you died. If you rest a little more, that place isn’t going anywhere, is it?”
“I can’t even rest properly at this state.”
“Phew.”
It was already the third sigh. However, when I heard her sigh, I knew Masha wouldn’t hold me back any longer.
“Alright, let me tell you… But it’s only a publicly known place, no one knows if Dante is really there.”
“That’s fine.”
The important thing for me was that there was a place to go. And if I don’t find it, I can come back right away.
“They said he was stuck in one place after the war and didn’t come out.”
“Where is that?”
“The Magic Tower.”
In response to the succinct reply, I said nothing for a moment.
“…Well, if it’s such an obvious place.”
“The fact that it’s obvious isn’t the problem. The problem is that you go to the Magic Tower.”
Masha pulled out a map from the bottom of the stack of newspapers. There is a country, a continent, and a map that closely records the land and sea.
Marsha, who turned the map toward me to make it easier to see, pointed at a spot. The location is probably near the edge of the Empire.
It was on the opposite side of the capital.
“The Magic Tower is here.”
“…How long will it take to get here?”
“I don’t know.”
Masha shrugged her shoulders.
“But I’m sure it will take a very long time.”
Of course… Because I won’t be able to go there all at once. First, how to get there is a problem.
No, the method and time were both problems. No matter what means of transportation, it was obvious that this distance would take up quite a bit of time. Should I withdraw the idea that I can just come back right away if I don’t find him there?
“I’m struggling so much to go see my husband…”
“You said you would go through all those hardships.”
Masha’s words were harsh, yet there was nothing wrong with them. Yes, I said I would do everything, but what can I do?
I tilted my head and stared at the ceiling for a moment, then looked back at the map. Underneath the black dot, the word ‘Magic Tower’ was written clearly.
Dante is here. If the rumor that he was stuck and never came out after the war is right.
…It seemed that this was the first time I had hoped that Dante was doing what I was hearing.
***
Two mornings after that.
“I packed everything yesterday. Do you need to take care of me like this?”
“Of course I do. You, stay there. I’ll be back soon!”
I caught Masha trying to take the things I packed last night. She said she wanted to check it again if I packed it properly.
About half an hour after I said yes, Masha’s house was again in a mess the way I had first seen it.
Clink, clank. Something fell and broke in time with Masha’s movement.
I think the inside of this house is collapsing, is it okay? I looked at Masha with a tired expression, yet Masha continued to search for something and made more mess in her room.
“I can take care of it, Masha.”
“You can take care of what? You saw how far away the Magic Tower is, no one knows how long it might take to get there!”
“I will arrive before I die, whatever.”
“Because you’re not going to die!”
Masha screamed, and I quickly covered my ears. Masha’s voice, which is usually high-pitched, was even higher today.
“It’s okay to be a little uncomfortable on the way. I’m not looking forward to a comfortable trip anyway.”
“Turns out you really don’t have any countermeasures.”
“I guess that’s the case.”
In response to my easy going answer, Masha tapped her forehead with a bewildered face.
“To think that I’ve been worrying about you in the past 10 years…”
“Thank you for your worries. Ah, I wish I could bring those clothes.”
“This?”
I nodded when I saw the outer garment in Masha’s hand. Since I’m going homeless, it would be good to bring as many clothes as possible.
I stared at Masha, who kept nagging me, but still took care of my luggage, and quietly opened my mouth.
“Thank you for everything other than your worries.”
“For what?”
“Just everything. Thank you for taking care of my luggage and finding out how to get to the Magic Tower. I couldn’t have done anything without you.”
Well, after I said that, it really is true. Not empty words, if it wasn’t for Masha, I really wouldn’t be able to do anything. As I thought about it, I got a little embarrassed and turned my eyes. Masha smiled and, as she finished folding clothes, she said.
“Come back and thank me. You shouldn’t forget me and go somewhere else just because you’ve met your husband, understand?”
“Of course. How can I forget you?”
“Your forgetfulness is so severe that I don’t trust you, but… Yeah, whatever.”
“Just because I’m forgetful, how can you… No, my memory is normal.”
“Yeah, yeah. If you say so, then so be it.”
I don’t believe it. For some reason, I rested my chin in a slightly dissatisfied mood. It seemed that my memory was constantly being questioned by Masha because of what happened earlier.
The trouble was that when I was having breakfast with Masha, the story of exactly how long I had lived came up.
[You don’t know your exact age then? Besides that you’ve lived for over 150 years.]
[Hmm… I can’t remember how old I was before I came over here.]
[Let’s just say that it fits roughly… When did you come over? Do you know that?]
[The first thing I saw when I came here was the scenery of people holding purple flags and celebrating.]
[Purple Flag Festival… Wait a minute, I think I saw it in a history book…]
Masha must have been studying history hard, and she guessed my age based on what I had seen so far.
There was no way to know my exact age, yet the rough estimate was a bit shocking.
[Even if you can’t, you’ve lived 200 years.]
[Huh? It’s been that long?]
[Even if I estimate the time it took for you to come back to life after death is 20 years, you’re over 200 years. I wondered how you didn’t know your age, but if you had lived this long, it’s about time when you forget how old you are and what happened yesterday. I understand your forgetfulness now.]
Along with the knowledgeable eyes, I received a strangely uncomfortable understanding. It’s like, I feel like I’m treated like an old woman…
Anyway, it’s been like that ever since. Your forgetfulness, your forgetfulness, she says.
In the end, with the misunderstanding about my memory still unresolved, I finished preparing to depart for the Magic Tower.
***
M4.
Masha looked at her own friend checking her luggage.
No matter how much she told her that she was going to a dangerous place and that her husband was crazy right now, Ei was calm. As much as Ei was easygoing, Masha’s insides were burning.
As expected, Masha was worried. She thought she would cancel all of her schedules and follow Ei, but she stopped because she knew Ei would do so.
She’s sure she’ll stop her worries about the aftermath. Saying, “What are you going to do with your work? The road may be rough.” It’s funny, really. She hasn’t been alive in a while, yet she’s worried about someone else.
She tried to say it sarcastically inwardly, but it only made Masha feel worse.
Masha hesitated for a while before opening her mouth to ask what she had been thinking about.
“Ei.”
“Hm?”
“Are you really okay?”
“Of course, I’m okay. I’m still going, knowing that everything will be difficult.”
“No, not that. I’m talking about the explosion.”
Pause. Ei’s movement stopped, and soon, her light brown eyes rolled towards Marsha. As always, Masha frowned at those eyes, whose inside she didn’t know.
“Just because you died and came back to life doesn’t mean you lost what you experienced.”
“…”
“I’m saying this because I don’t think I can be as calm as you.”
The explosion that took the village was one of the topics Marsha didn’t want to talk about, yet now she had to bring it up. If I don’t ask her now, I don’t know when I’ll be able to ask this again.
“The bomb… If it exploded under my feet, I would be afraid of everything. I would be reluctant to even walk down the street.”
From Masha’s point of view, she is a friend who appeared after 10 years, however, Ei died and when she opened her eyes, she heard 10 years had passed without her knowledge.
In other words, to Ei, the explosion of 10 years ago might feel like yesterday.
She was worried about her going to Dante and sending her on such a long journey alone, but the most worrisome thing was, “Is Ei really okay?”
Is it really okay now for Ei, who has gone through something that others can’t forget even if they try to because it left them mentally broken?
She was silent for a moment. Ei, who had been staring at Marsha without answering, opened her mouth.
“Well. I don’t know.”
“…”
“I haven’t thought about that in a while. If I think too deeply, it only hurts me.”
As I can’t just die because I’m not okay. Her last words were added as if they were a joke, and her gaze at Masha was unmoved.
However, Masha was rather saddened by that nonchalant answer. The more Ei chewed her words, the more it felt as if something had broken in the bottom of her heart.
Did Ei really think that way because she wanted to? Masha questioned herself, yet no matter how much she thought about it, she couldn’t come up with an answer.
How many years did it take for that to happen to her? She had aged normally, had lived a normal life, and hadn’t even guessed that she would live a normal life in the future, so Masha couldn’t comfort her own friend after all.
Her clumsy pretending to know will rather be poison.
The only thing Masha could do was give Ei a hug right before she left.
She just wished to see her friend again.
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