Chapter 135: Conflict of Seekers

Seeker who was silent and kept avoiding Harker's gaze finally let out a laugh.

"You put it quite in a noble fashion. But the truth is… it's much more immature than that… The Overcomers Will which demands confidence, resolve and determination could be said as a state of epiphany for most… But for a kid like me, it's simply maturity."

"Hang on…" Lander asked. Seeker just confirmed what Harker had long been implying and couldn't help but interject.

"Are you saying, General… That just as Harker is implying…There are actually two personalities in your head? You're one of those who have split personalities?"

"Is there a problem with that?" Seeker laughed.

"General… If you become insane… we would be doomed. You were just about to send me on a suicide mission to fight Amir Mann."

"He's not exaggerating, Seeker. Please tell me more about it… The more I know about your strange state the easier it would be me to bring you back. I fear that a day will come that the adult in you will take over and we will lose this immature kid that will save countless lives." Harker laughed.

"First of all… Lander…That mission is non-negotiable. This mission wasn't given to you just because you're expendable. But more importantly, because you have a high potential. You just pissed me off earlier so I didn't bother explaining. But the truth is, your mission will be difficult but not impossible. Lowengren will be sending Stanley Vagrant of Warfreakz. And Ms. MaliciousUnicorn of the Covenant, Dara will be sent as well. These two are the most outstanding gamers in their teams. I believe you've met Stanley and trained alongside him?"

Lander couldn't help but sigh. Of all the people that Lander trained alongside with, Stanley Vagrant was undoubtedly the strongest. Although Stanley was unable to defeat Lander, their spars actually gave Lander a scare.

"I hope that clarifies that me sending you there to face Amir Mann isn't because I've gone insane. As for your other question… Harker already guessed bits and pieces of it. He's right. The memory I had wasn't able to influence me completely. When I first got all that memory from my future self, it only gave me a boost causing me to reach the early stages of the Unlocking. Therefore, my skills in recollection weren't as strong as it was."

"So I was right. Initially, it was like watching a movie play out, correct?"

"Yes. At the Unbecoming level that was the case. It was easy for me to forcefully reform my body to becoming an Unbecoming as my memories had the details of that. I can accurately remember things and even allow my memories to guide my body in battle because mentally mapping my body and mimicking it is easy. In short, muscle memory is retained. But as for the emotional experience of these memories… it's a different story."

"Emotions? Why wouldn't it affect you? You can remember it with frightening details! Weren't you using your memory to stimulate your emotions to guard against the Empress?"

"I was already at the Inhuman level at that time. Generally, at the Proficient stage of the Inhuman level, you can basically view things differently. Much more for the likes of Cliff and myself."

"Because of Realm Somatotopy." Lander guessed. He was reaching the basics of Realm Somatotopy and even as someone who was reaching the Surmounting stage of Unbecoming, the way he recalls things were vastly more accurate.

"Exactly. We experience a more three-dimensional experience when recollecting. And the more powerful your grasps in Realm Somatotopy, the more amazing your recollection will be. That was the stage I was at when we fought in China." Seeker paused.

"If I received those memories and it shot me towards the Ranked Hero stage, then I would probably have acted more like my future self. But the memories that were given to me were dumped when I was not even unlocked. In fact, it was thanks to that big memory dump that I became an Unbecoming. In that perspective, these memories were not perfectly transmitted. It's like you simply have knowledge about pasts things."

"Oh, how I love the arrogant, parading, and domineering Seeker Carlean of those days. So basically, you were just a teenager who knew a lot of things about the future. You neither had the maturity or resolve to follow through with your actions." Harker laughed.

"I don't understand! You know the consequences of your actions! Yet you decided to just… show off?" Lander couldn't conceive what had happened.

"Lieutenant Lander… No one can understand Seeker's experience. On our end, we could easily say that if we had Seeker's memories we would make the right choice. But it isn't that simple. The fact that two personalities are already fighting in his brain is proof of the complexity of what he's going through!"

Seeker simply smiled.

"Let me put it this way. Both of you can recollect your experiences and memories. But as my own memories also have the interference of my future self, it's like I can view two sets of memories. My own, and my future self's memory. You cannot imagine how strange and beguiling this is. Imagine having memories of another person. It confuses you. Although it is my own, and my future self, the two of us, the teenage me who just wanted to have some fun and relax not making any effort to even become a Royal, and that serious adult who had lost so much and would sacrifice himself and others were just vastly different."

"Wouldn't it be, that since you were able to see how that adult you started off as a student and then faced all those pains and eventually ended up as someone who would sacrifice others willingly? Wouldn't you understand and somehow relate to him?" Lander asked.

"Well… yeah. But I also understand one thing about this future self of mine. He's extremely selfish. He lost so much, so many, and weren't even able to say goodbye to many blood-brothers and sisters, that he really doesn't care if the world burns just so that these people live." Seeker gave a helpless sigh.

"Oh? Wouldn't you, the Hero of Helion's Tragedy be able to relate to that?" Harker turned and asked Lander.

Lander was in a daze. During the battle against New Zealand, when an ambush was made on one of the key oceanic fortresses in their area. The battle was so great that he lost so many friends that it made him cruel and willing to risk attacking. It was that vengeance that made him out of Helion's Fort to face the vast armies that cornered their team. It was solely because of his capabilities to dodge almost all incoming attacks that allowed him to survive just in time for the Australian Army to arrive and fight back.

None of his peers lived. He was the sole survivor and that catapulted him to a Hero status.

"Right. Lander, you should understand this the most. Do you know why Lynd believed that you had the potential?" Seeker immediately ask.

Lander shook his head.

"The resolve you have is on par with those who are Near-Overcomers. If anyone could relate to Adult Seeker… of course aside from Lynd… it would be you. The memories that I got from him was initially… just memories. Pictures of the past, knowledge of the present and visions of the future. And so… I merely used my memories as a guide. That was why, as Harker said, I've been making half-steps on my plans."

"But even if you had his memories, would you be able to know what the adult you wanted but you to do?" Harker asked.

"I had an inkling. That memory dump made me smart. But is it really that easy? A lot of people in this world know what's good and bad for them and still choose the bad. But in my case… I really had to internally struggle over it. You were right to some extent." Seeker gazed at Harker.

"I guess I wanted more than survival. I wanted to save the world. So I was caught in a half-step between following what my memories demanded and what I wanted."

"Then..." Lander asked.

"Wasn't your attack on Australia primarily decided by the kid you?"

"I knew Australia had long been deeply infiltrated by the Aragarians. My memories demanded them to be exterminated but only wanted to do so, later. I could have used Harker's Programmed Slave to destroy it silently. But knowing that the Aragarians had long been making human farms, I knew that Australia would be the hub of that. So when Lynd met the accident of his breaking through I decided to attack Australia. Perhaps I was playing the hero. So immature… it was really unnecessary."

"So you knew all along that fighting Australia was unnecessary? You really owe me an apology. I lost an army there!" Harker shook his head.

A few seconds passed until Lander realized what the two were talking about.

"What? Attacking and killing those people in Australia were all unnecessary?!" Lander shouted angrily.

"It really was. When I learned of the details later I was wondering why they went through all that trouble. I was right! It was really just Seeker's heroic acts!" Harker muttered bitterly.

"Seriously, Lander? Think! They could have acquired the Dawn soldier's blood through an easier way!"

"How?"

Harker sighed.

"You really need to use that big coconut of yours. Think! Was there a high-leveled group of scientists in Australia, in New Birth Forth who had access to Dawn soldiers?"

The haze that blinded Lander faded. And three figures came to mind.

"Then! Then! Why?! Why?!"

"He just told you why. He wanted to be a hero and save the poor humans being treated as livestock in that base." Harker explained.

"I wondered why all that war became necessary when all you needed was blood from Dawn Soldiers. I mean sure… The Alakaster Sisters would have been suspected of their strange actions. But I honestly think even that General Garland wouldn't have minded it. Sure there would have been issues after that, but compared to the after-effects of what they pulled, whatever covert operations we could have done in Australia would have more benefits!"

Lander's mouth was open.

"All that destruction! Those deaths! Those were all unnecessary?!"

"Yes." Both Harker and Seeker nodded.

Lander was actually shaking in anger.

"Why are you so calm?! You lost an army!"

"Of course I'm mad. But, remember, I gained many Jews who were subjected to unspeakable terrors. Many of which are young teenagers. If I strap them up with high-end computers and have them play Piercing, they'd be better than my former army. And besides. I lost that army, but Pangea now follows me." Harker shrugged his shoulder.

"All's well that ends well I guess." Harker sighed.

The shaking and convulsing angry figure of Lander turned to Seeker.

"I've already explained why I did that. I'm a selfish, hot-blooded teenager. Put yourself in my shoes. Would you have preferred that I allowed the Aragarians to continue on their research? You've seen the sick experiments they've been making. A strange gas that would later be used to keep us on a near-death state to eat up our expenditure, several strange airborne diseases that cause painful boils… and I'm not even going to mention that Pokémon-chimera hybrid they were making!" Seeker listed several of the operations they uncovered when Arthur was killing their way in Australia.

Lander still had an angry look but swallowed it all and said nothing.

"Oh… And just so I can ease your erm… anger… This is the kid me talking now. While your countrymen will ally themselves with the Aragarians, it isn't that I didn't blame them. All of them have been deceived and have been lured by the enticing promises of abundant and of a rich life. Ultimately, they didn't know who these people who gave them that abundant life was. I was actually a bit iffy in pursuing the mission. Even when we were there, I still had no set plans of how to take the Dawn blood. Should I go on a rampage? Or should I do it stealthily? But something out of my expectations occurred but I guess it turned out to be the best."

"Richie?" Harker guessed.

"Yes. We fought and I had to forcefully push my Unlocking. With me out of the picture, I knew Arthur would be the best candidate to act as my replacement."

"Because of his intellect?" Lander asked. He was constantly manipulated and deceived because of Arthur and Lowengren.

"No. Because Arthur's more mature than Seeker… Arthur could do certain things that Seeker couldn't do." Harker analyzed.

"It is as Harker said. Truth be told… I was running away from my responsibilities. I may have had a confident demeanor but in truth, I was the most confused among all of you. When I first met Arthur in this lifetime, I already knew he carried the same bloodlust and cruelty as he did in my future. But even then… I honestly underestimated Arthur's cruelty. So much more with Lowengren's insanity. If I was awake during the Australian Avarice then I may have been against their plans and led Harker's army in full-victory. Even if that meant that the Unlocking would be revealed. I would have played the hero." Seeker closed his eyes.

Everyone suddenly became quiet.

Seeker moved once more and logged on in-game and tried to get his mind off things and keep the Kid him in control.

Lander and Harker stood there and continued to reflect on Seeker's words.

"Then by what you said… If it was the Kid Seeker awake, he would have attacked another country by now." Lander shook his head.

"When he awoke he was already at Inhuman. So you could say he was a different person. But honestly, it would have been better if more of the Kid was at the helm." Harker laughed.

Seeker frowned when he heard this.

"I still am the one at the helm. The coolant liquid we got from the Dawn soldiers didn't just manage to cool my body. It calmed me down. As you know, the temperature has been known to be a factor in calming or enraging a person's mood. Hot temperature makes people more aggressive, irritable while lower temperatures may cause depression. My body, because of the Unlocking was in a state of constantly being on the higher temperatures. So it made me reckless… daring… and being so… aggressive." Seeker sighed.

"I see. So it made you a bit more clear-headed? But why did you suddenly have this bipolar personality? Is your body temperature affecting you once more that the coolant liquid of Australia is no longer enough? Are you in heat once again?"

Seeker gave Harker a strange glance.

"Choice of words, please. No. it's not that. The coolant liquid is enough even up to Ranked Her.!"

"Then why the change?"

"When I was in that deep sleep, I already knew that the other Seeker in me was vying for control. Thus, I did my best to seal my memories."

"You sealed your memory? How?"

"You've probably seen or heard of stories about people who repressed their memories after experiencing a traumatic experience. That defense mechanism is something that most Inhumans have access too. I just kept the bit of remembering certain parts about my memories and remembered the fact that I sealed some memories. That somehow stabilized me for a bit. But who would have thought that Meng was so strong? I was forced to unseal it. And then there was the Tyrant Empress."

"The leaking of your emotions!" Lander guessed before Harker could say anything.

"Right. When I leaked all that hatred, I allowed myself to be thoroughly immersed on my many memories. That somehow… changed me. The recollection I have of my memories became more real. And so… because I could see things and feel things in a different way at the Inhuman level, my emotions were starting to get affected by my memories. It's like I'm somewhere in between being able to recall my future self's memories, and being able to fully experience it."

"Then I'll ask upfront. Will that future you, ever take over?" Lander asked him with a solemn expression.

Seeker glanced at Lander and gave him paused for a bit.

"I don't know." Seeker gave his final answer.
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