"Come on, this time, Father will listen…" With the gentleness voice that he could muster, Emperor Valentin took Kazimir by the hand and continued to reach through his heart.
Finally, Kazimir's blank eyes flickered. He slowly turned his head towards his father, who was looking at him with a worried helpless face.
Another layer of guilt showered his soul, seeing that he caused his father much trouble for worrying about him. Kazimir hung his head low in shame while a hoarse voice came out of his mouth, "I failed you, Father… I failed everyone…"
Emperor Valentin just listened as Kazimir opened up. He didn't know the right answer yet he still want to try pacifying the turmoils in his heart.
"I caused my brother to die… and yet I still couldn't find myself to be angry for his sake…"
"I can't find myself to stand up in this bed and lead my troops to condemn my mother and my maternal family."
"Even inside my troops, there were relatives from my maternal side, how could I face them?"
"How could I order them to march and arrest their own family?"
"I myself couldn't do that… I can't… my mother… she…"
Kazimir didn't know where it started, but he found himself crying profusely as he said the words that have been kept in his heart.
His mind and body were so conflicted, he witnessed such great injustice, and yet he struggled to uphold it because the person that has to be condemned was his family.
A part of his heart was crying to seek justice for the innocent, but another part was trying to justify his intention to plead on his maternal family's behalf.
Emperor Valentin held his hands steadily while he patted his shoulder allowing him to let out his pent-up emotions. Even if he opened up today, he was sure that the wounds in his heart would not heal overnight.
Perhaps it may take years and or a lifetime for his wounds to heal. But the most important thing was to not let him succumb to this pain and destroy himself.
On one hand, he was feeling guilty, because he couldn't tell him that Leon was able to take Kazimir on time and that a great doctor was able to pull him out of the dead river. The time is crucial for all of them and he could not allow this information to be leaked until it was the right time.
As such he could only help him be at ease by being by his side as a father.
Kazimir's sorrowful cries rang in the entire bed-chamber. He was not sure how many times he had been acting like this recently, but it is what it is. The pain inside him is real and the torment was eating away his self-perception.
"No one is pushing you to stand up for justice… Kazimir, my son… This burden lies on my shoulders, not yours." Suddenly his father's voice seemed to have created cracks in the dark torture chamber that was keeping him tormented.
Emperor Valentin continued, "No one in this Empire would hate you for not participating in the process of seeking justice. Because everyone who is on the right mind would know that you will be the one who will be hurt the most by this matter."
"What I, your father, only ask you is not to resent me for choosing to uphold justice and punish the people whom you treated like family." Emperor Valentin's words carried a heavy hint of fear and worry as he said these words.
In fact, what makes him waver was the fact that Kazimir would choose to side with their maternal family and join them in creating chaos in the Empire.
But from what he was seeing, his son was not the kind of person. He might be prideful and arrogant in terms of viewing himself as superior to other people, especially his youngest brother, but he was someone who carried the same love for the Empire. This was also why, even if he and Antoine blatantly bullied his youngest and curried the favor of the nobles, he didn't disqualify them in the fight for the throne.
"I was afraid that you would hate me in the future… However, son… know that this is the burden of a monarch. We stand in this position not because we are to enjoy a life of glory and respect from our subjects. Our real mission was to help these people live better lives using the power that was given to us.
We will not be kings if we do not have people to lead. We will not be a glorious Empire if our subjects will perish.
And I, as the one who stands as the Emperor, had to do everything to the best of my abilities to protect our people. Even if it meant condemning the people who were supposed to be my family. Because that is justice!"
Emperor Valentin said these words with resolute. He wanted Kazimir to sincerely understand what it means to be in the Imperial family.
"So do not beat yourself up for not being able to stand for justice. I, your father is not blind to your struggle. However, I want you to get a hold of yourself and recover. After all this, there will be lots of work, lots of struggles. The current situation is just one thing you have to conquer as a monarch to this Empire… Don't let it defeat you…" Emperor Valentine was not sure of his words will help Kazimir, he lamented in his heart for being clumsy in giving words of advice to his son.
Kazimir looked at his father's helpless and awkward face. It was the first time he has seen his Father worry about him.
All his life, he only saw his father's working facial expression, one with authority. Sometimes he would be lucky to see him look at them with approval and joy. But he never saw him worry about him nor his siblings before.
It was at this moment that he somehow resonated with what his father was saying. As the monarch of the Empire, sometimes it would require them to be clumsy in their personal lives. Because they have to choose the well-being of the greater people first.
A newfound discovery about his father and his calling as a member of the imperial family made his crystal blue eyes return their luster.
"I-i will keep your words in mind, Father…" Kazimir replied, his pain was still there.
He was still struggling to plead for his mother and his maternal family. He was still disappointed with himself. Yet the thing that comforted him was the fact that his father did not find fault in his struggles.
Instead, he heard him say that it was alright to be in pain. It is alright to be confused. It is alright that he takes a step back in the matter and does not force himself to embody radical justice.
"En… So do your best to recover. Also, do not ignore your wife… she is so thin yet you worried her a lot. Kazimir, my son, remember that you still have a lot of people waiting for you to be back… Do not let them wait for too long." Emperor Valentin smiled and caressed Kazimir's head, like a father who was trying to cheer up his little child.
Kazimir felt a stranged warmth flow from the top of his head to the depths of his heart. It was the first time his father acted affectionately to him.
His hand was gentle and it gives him a warm fuzzy feeling.
On the other side of the palace was Empress Carolina pacing back and forth in her bedroom. Even if her brother told her not to worry and trust that all this farce will shake the foundation of Emperor Valentin's influence, her heart was deeply threatened.
She had a strong nagging feeling that she was about to lose her son in the process. What makes him fear the most was that, while her son was in a vulnerable state, Emperor Valentin would use this time to completely break the dependence her son have on her.
"Not good!" She mumbled as she continued to bite her nails subconsciously. She was not able to notice that the skin near her nails was already torn and was starting to bleed.
"I have to find a way to visit my Kazimir…" She decided. Even if it would cause her to use curse power, she had to think of a way to sneak out and visit Kazimir.
"Callan…" She summoned, a dark figure appeared on her balcony, kneeling.
"Prepare to sneak me out of the palace and go to Kazimir's bed chambers." She commanded.
"Her Majesty, the Imperial Sky Knights were watching the Empress Place closely… Are you sure about sneaking out of the palace?" Callan was surprised by Empress Carolina's decision, he thought that the Duke had already convinced her to stay put.
"Did I ask you to share your opinion?! Who are you to question mine?" Empress Carolina shouted with a shill-piercing sound, she looked at Callan without regard.
A strange purple aura came out of her body making Callan feel an indescribable amount of fear. "... my apologies, Your Majesty."
"Good… now do everything to figure out an opening for me to sneak out!" She shouted angrily as she pointed outside, signaling Callan to go out and do what she wanted.
"Yes, Her Majesty!" He deeply worried that this would endanger her mistress's position but Callan could only bow and follow her orders immediately. H
The two were so deep in their own emotions that they were not able to notice that someone was conveniently hearing and watching their exchange.
