CH 125

Lil simply stared at Ed without responding. Although she couldn’t see him clearly, she could tell that he appeared to be crestfallen. His face was pale, his normally neatly styled hair looked more like a bird’s nest, and his cheeks had red marks on them like they had been scraped. Also, through those unkempt bangs, his bloodshot eyes could be seen. 

With his chin resting on his hands, his lips drooped weakly.

“Why?”

“Nothing is going well, and I don’t see any signs of improvement. It’s frustrating me, and I think I’m going crazy…”

“Is it because you have difficult patients? Is Marenzio drinking again? His arm must not have healed yet, but he already took off the cast…”

“That only contributed to my anguish by an insignificant amount.”

“Then, what’s troubling you?”

“It’s all because of the Captain.”

“…Why me?”

Ed slipped down and crunched in front of the railing. He then wrapped his hands around his head and pulled his hair. 

‘The bird’s nest on his head must have been formed by such actions.’

“Uhh… No, don’t mind me. I’m saying a bunch of nonsense. Ha! My bad. My bad.”

It was Lil’s first time seeing him so downcast, but she accepted it with ease. They had recently grown closer, so she expected to see a variety of expressions from him.

‘Ed’s a human being as well, and he can’t go on with holes in his lungs*.’

So she knelt next to him and held out her sap bottle. In this position, her toes got caught by the breeze blowing from somewhere.

“Try this… it refreshes your mouth, so it’s great to consume when you’re in a bad mood.”

“What’s this exactly?”

Birch sap was the first snack Lil encountered while living in the South. 

‘The southerners said it was great for preventing cavities, so while it’s primarily used for hygiene, I enjoy its great taste and refreshing feeling.’

Lil secured the sap in a glass bottle to keep it safe from the ship’s various small creatures. The fact that she was willing to go to such lengths to preserve it, proved how much she liked it.

‘So, if he tries it, he’d most likely …’

“Is this birch sap?”

“…”

“I was wondering what else it could be.”

“…How do you know?”

“The people of the Western Continent also use this for their dental hygiene. Apparently, this originated from the South. Well, now that I think about it, the only continent that doesn’t know about this is the Central Continent; perhaps that’s why the people’s teeth there are particularly bad. It’s due to the lack of this sap.”

“Is there at least something you don’t know?”

It was a sincere but serious question. 

‘What on earth don’t you know?’

Ed stroked his chin slowly, clearly agonising over an answer. His face, which raised one brow, radiated an arrogant glow she had seen from him before. Anticipating what he was about to say, she wanted to withdraw her question, but Ed was faster.

“Hmm, is there even such a thing?”

“…”

Lil’s face shrunk like the surface of a rotten apple.

‘How can he be so predictable?’

Seeing her distorted expression that looked like a piece of fruit that had been stuck in the corner of a box for too long, Ed shook his head.

“I’m only kidding.”

Lil responded with a frown.

“Seems like you’re doing fine.”

“Don’t judge it so easily, I’m still depressed.”

“You’re looking fine.”

“I know.”

“…”

Lil’s sour expression persisted. She tried to retrieve the bottle from Ed, but he was much quicker. 

“But what can I do? Huh? Captain.”

Before she knew it, Ed was holding on to the sap bottle.

“What?”

“…”

Lil immediately put more strength into her hand in order to retrieve her precious snack. As she was holding on like that, another hand suddenly came up and covered her cheek and ear, causing her left shoulder to flinch unconsciously. Lil stiffened up because she couldn’t figure out why Ed was doing this. As if mocking her surprised expression, his hand that had rubbed her ear, proceeded to brush the hairs on her forehead away one by one. His fingertips caressed her cheek as he tucked the strands behind her ear. Lil flinched her shoulders again at the ticklish sensation she felt near her earlobe. It was only then that she questioned this unexpected physical contact.

“Get your hand off me.”

“What on earth should I do…”

“Now…”

Lil, who raised her eyes and glared at Ed, was taken aback. His green eyes were fixed somewhere on her forehead. Because their eyes didn’t meet, it gave her the opportunity to examine his expression. Suddenly, she felt suffocated because she couldn’t understand why Ed was looking at her so affectionately.

“Your forehead. It’s bleeding. I stitched it up some time ago and knew I needed to check on it now and then, but it seems they broke already.”

Lil exhaled the breath she had been holding in. The man who appeared to have lost himself a while ago now appeared indifferent. He was still pulling her baby hairs from her forehead, but Lil realised now that their physical contact was not intentional, it was to examine her wound. Knowing this, her tense shoulders loosened up.

‘If that’s what he meant to do, he should’ve told me ahead of time. Why is he surprising people by not saying anything?’

Ed let go of the sap bottle.

“Let’s go down together for a second.”

After securing the bottle in her hands, Lil ramblingly asked.

“Oh, where?”

“My cabin.”

“Now?”

“Well yeah, otherwise I have to bring my bag up.”

“Do you really have to see it now? Can’t it wait till morning?”

“It’s on your face.”

“But you said you were depressed.”

Ed swallowed the words he couldn’t utter.

‘Because it’s on your forehead… You can’t see it, so you don’t mind it, right? I wish you would think of me the same way. Just let me follow you while you are you, moving without any reserve. If I could do that, I don’t think I’ll ever feel depressed again… and to be completely honest, I want to go with you.’

“…Well, yeah… I know.”

Lil stood up and brushed off the pants or her pyjamas.

“But since you’re the doctor, you know what’s best.”

“…”

Ed stayed silent and only looked up at her. Lil eventually looked down to ask him what was wrong, but Ed suddenly stretched out his hand towards her.

“You’re the one who said that I needed to get my wound stitched. But now you’re acting like a four-year-old.”

“Just humour me, I’m still feeling depressed.”

“Are you really depressed? Or is that just an excuse?”

Nonetheless, Lil took his hand and helped him up. Ed felt strange when Lil didn’t put strength to her hand like one would do when shaking hands, but instead pulled him gently as she was helping up a fallen child.

“So you’re actually a nice person, huh? I thought Jericho was saying crazy things…”

“What? What!”

“Nothing.”

“…”

Ed remained silent and led the way down the stairs. Whenever he said something like that, she tried really hard to hide the fact that she was secretly a warm-hearted person as she obviously didn’t want to show it.

‘I’m not sure why, but even such an unusual reaction was lovely… No, no.’

He abruptly cleared his throat to cut off his thoughts. Even if he didn’t look back at Lil, who was following behind him, he was aware of her dull expression. As a result, his nape began to burn. With his head down, he sped up his steps and opened the door to his cabin.

“It’s shabby, but come in.”

“…”

He held out the door for her.

Lil squinted her eyes at her brightened vision. However, after blinking a few times, she came to the conclusion that it actually wasn’t that bright. There was not a single light shining on the wall of the room. In fact, the only light illuminating Ed’s cabin was the dim desk light he had just turned on when they entered. 

Although moonlight came in through the open window, it was too weak. Lil glanced around, puzzled as to why she thought the place felt so bright.

“Have a seat.”

Ed pointed to the bed. While still checking if any of the lights or lanterns had been turned off recently Lil sat down on the bed. The room only had a desk and a chair, so naturally, her only option was to sit on the bed. Ed rummaged through his bag, took some tools, pulled his chair, and sat down right in front of her. Because Lil was sitting on a soft surface that sank in a bit, her knees and thighs got automatically pressed together with one of Ed’s legs on both sides. Embarrassed by the situation, the two of them looked at their legs. For a moment, Lil attempted to lift and adjust her right leg, but in the end, she had to put it back in the position she started in. No matter how hard she tried, she was trapped between his thighs… 

‘…Objectively speaking, this is the best option if I consider the alternative…’

Lil closed her legs obediently. Being surrounded by his strong limbs gave her the impression that she was about to be held in his arms. It was something she was aware of whenever she was in front of him. And Ed appeared to notice that as well. 

‘It happens a lot recently.’

She suddenly remembered his affectionate gaze a moment ago. 

‘However, that was a misunderstanding and I already confirmed that he was only examining me.’

Nonetheless, her thoughts persisted. 

‘But his expression didn’t appear to be an illusion. What the hell is going on?’

– – – – – 

*Footnote:

Hole in the lung: We guess this is a Korean proverb, unfortunately our research didn’t lead to a conclusive answer. Seeing the context in which it’s used, we assume it means something in the range of; Everybody feels the need to vent their troubles./ Everybody can temporarily lose their composure due to thei