Chapter 84
Dawn comes. Elena looked down as the area around the Marquisate gradually brightened. In the cool morning, she could see the soldiers exhaling misty breaths, standing at their tallest. Probably because of what happened last night. They also know that their master would no longer tolerate any mistakes.
Elena felt powerful steps reverberating from beyond the wall. Before long, the door burst open and the answer she had been waiting for came.
“What exactly do you want from me?”
Elena looked back. Hert, wearing only a thin robe over his cotton trousers and shirt, was glaring at her. Elena ran her fingertips through the armrests of her wheelchair.
“Sir, in order to gain something big, sometimes you have to give up something small. Did you realize anything at all through this incident?”
“Did you not understand what I just said? Stop playing with words, just say what you want.”
“I think I have told you everything I want before. Rather, you were the one who evaded answering my question, Sir.”
Elena pulled her wheelchair and faced Hert completely. The seemingly angry man who had a knack for making people nervous in many ways. But, in a way, it was a good sign. Being angry like this meant that he reacted properly to her trap.
“Well, good. It’s not all over yet.”
Instead of answering, Elena lightly shrugged her shoulders.
“So will you listen to my request?”
“…I’ll keep an eye on you. There’s nothing you can do in this castle as you please.”
“Do so. Because it doesn’t matter.”
Elena nodded her head as if she had already expected it.
“I don’t know what you really want… That won’t come easily.”
“You’ll find out when you see that too.”
At the Marchioness’ leisurely answer, Hert frowned. In his eyes, she didn’t look sorry at all. She was acting as if her goal had already been achieved.
It bothered him, but in fact, Hert had no other choice. In one day he had been forced to open his hand to the Marchioness.
‘Everything is a mess.’
Hert now had to sift out and clear out the helpers who had helped Janet and Tessa escape before he could manage and command the castle and manor. Then, he had to prepare for invasions and surprise attacks from the outside.
He couldn’t even refuse the Marchioness’ help at such a precarious time
‘It’s okay, and there’s nothing important about it.’
In any case, what the Marchioness would do was, in general, what should have been done by her. After all, she was the original Mistress of this place. In Hert’s opinion, most of them were nothing more than simple labor, with little result. Besides, she was going to have surveillance stationed for her. Nonsense was not tolerated.
Of course, he knew that he couldn’t trust the Marchioness, but it was a conclusion that Hert came up with after much thought.
In fact, his mind was complicated by the current matters with Tessa. He wanted to put aside the Marchioness’ name and focus exclusively on Tessa. He didn’t want to be concerned with what happened to this Jutert estate.
“Be careful not to let anything reach my ears. If you try to do something stupid even once…”
“Don’t worry, Sir. Because that won’t happen.”
Hert turned his back on Elena, who smiled meaningfully. He wanted to hurry back to Tessa. That’s when Elena suddenly called to stop him.
“Sir.”
“…What is it?”
“Do you know what is the most important thing in sailing?”
“If you’re going to talk nonsense—”
“It is the wind. You need wind to spread the sails and move the boat. If there is no wind in that wide sea, no matter how hard you try, sailing is impossible. It just becomes stagnant and just drifts along the waterways and over the sea.”
Before he knew it, the Marchioness was looking down at the entire Marquisate through the window again. The Marchioness’ face, illuminated by a glimpse of the rising sun, was strange. He couldn’t get a sense of what she was thinking. And her face… Hert had the feeling that he had seen it somewhere.
“As it goes… We just need to be there. Until the wind blows.”
‘Pitiful thing.’
Tessa remembered something she had heard a long time ago. These were the words she heard from an old lady she happened to run into at the orphanage.
At the time, Tessa didn’t know what it meant to be pitiful. She was only five years old, and the word ‘pitiful’ was not used very often in the orphanage. Above all, the old lady gently stroked her hair along with those words, so she thought it was just a compliment.
‘Teacher, what is a pitiful thing?’
‘…Tessa, where did you hear that?’
She later learned the meaning by asking the teacher, but that didn’t mean it made sense at once. Tessa said ‘yes, alright’ and just nodded. But she was still wondering what it was.
‘We’re wretched.’
Then one day, this time a girl a few years older than her spoke up. Tessa tilted her head. Are we unhappy? Why? As Tessa asked so, the girl answered with a smile.
‘Because we were abandoned by our parents.’
‘…Umm…’
‘Why do you think you were abandoned by your parents?’
Tessa did not have an easy answer to the girl’s question. She didn’t know why she was brought here as she was abandoned as a newborn baby. Tessa kept quiet so the girl repeated herself.
‘You were abandoned because you were wretched.’
A poor child abandoned by her parents for being wretched.
It took Tessa a long time to know and accept that this was her situation.
And now Tessa knew without anyone telling her. That she was full of wretched misery since she was born. Tessa could see that she had met the light in the middle and didn’t feel it, but the misfortune was still with her.
‘Don’t even think about being happy. You must be miserable forever.’
When she thought of Hert, who was dead, Hert appeared in her dream always bleeding and spat out such resentful words to Tessa. So Tessa nodded her head in pain as he strangled her.
Her, you’re right. I will still be unhappy, and I will be unhappy in the future. That my misery has ruined everything, including you. When she woke up from a nightmare after being strangled by Hert, Tessa would shed tears incessantly in the dark solitary cell. She didn’t feel any pain in her back at that time.
She wished she would die, but she was relieved that she survived yet again. She was relieved that wretched misery was still by her side, as she promised with Hert.
Yes, she had to keep herself unhappy. Because misery was her company.
So…
‘Say you want me. You can’t live without me.’
I can’t want you, Her.
‘You love me. Say it with your own mouth.’
I can’t even say I love you.
My love will make you miserable.
Tessa has to step back away from Hert. She had to get away from him in haste. Before her wretchedness would corrode him again and make him miserable.
But she couldn’t bear to take a step back. She wanted to see Hert’s face for a long time. Actually, she wanted to reach out and touch his face, wrap her arms around his neck, and tell him honestly that she wanted him. She loved him and she didn’t want to be separated from him.
But, but…
‘Now I see, it’s all pure lies. How can I trust you?’
Tessa drew in a breath. Hert’s sharp voice came. His words, saying that he would not believe her, stabbed her in the chest.
At that moment, someone within her whispered back.
I told you to swallow. Let your misery end on your line. Everyone can be happy without you. So swallow it whole! All that damn misery and greed, you embrace them all and disappear!
Disappear!
Tessa abruptly awoke from a sharp, ear-piercing screech. Her heart was beating wildly. Then, along with the sound of her heavy breathing, she saw the dimly lit room. It was a different room from the one she had last seen.
Tessa looked around and then realized she was wearing thin clothes. Her body, which must have been stained with traces of their love affair, was washed clean except for the cold sweat she had just shed.
She wiped the sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand, trying to figure out what was going on.
‘This time I… how long did I sleep…? And here…’
Tessa unconsciously tried to call Mani and then shut her mouth. For belatedly she remembered that Mani had been dragged away by the soldiers.
Reluctantly, Tessa decided to move her body herself. Her legs barely had any strength, but she couldn’t help it. She was elusive to even call someone in this situation.
Before long, however, Tessa was in big trouble. Because one of her ankles was heavy.
“This…”
…What’s this?
Tessa reached her hand towards it with disbelief in her eyes. It was made of hard leather and lined with soft fabric on the inside. It was not a stock chain commonly used by prisoners, but it was definitely a shackle.
The panicked Tessa tried to pull free the shackles, but she still couldn’t get it off easily. The tight leather straps were fastened tightly around her ankles.
Every time she moved, the skin and chain slithered together, making a metallic sound. Tessa’s hands trembled in disbelief.
At that time, sounds were heard outside the door leading to the room. After a while, the door swung open, casting a large shadow over Tessa. When she looked up, Hert stood there, watching Tessa silently. Dressed neatly, he strode in front of Tessa.
“Her, Her… this, this is…”
“Don’t mind it. It’s a safety device.”
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