CH 4029

“…”

The boy said grimly, “We can coexist.”

“Coexist?” The Youyou in black, however, scoffed as if he’d heard the greatest joke. “We’ve coexisted for so many years, we simply can’t get along. Rather than coexist unfairly, we might as well choose destruction.”

“I’m willing to share the warmth with you.” The boy in white said earnestly, “I’m willing to share Mommy, Daddy, Big Brother, Uncle… the love of everyone in the family.”

“I don’t want it!” The boy in black was paranoid. “Either it’s fully mine, or I don’t want it.”

As he spoke, he smoothly leveled himself on the sea surface, gripped the other boy’s hands, and guided them back to his neck. “Destroy me, set me free.” A look of desolation came over him as he smiled and said, “I’m not needed at all.”

As soon as he said this, he could no longer contain his tears. “She wants you, not me…”

Yun Shishi was looking forward to the return of the previous Youyou. Since she was so enthusiastically anticipating it, he might as well grant her wish and return the kind, lovely, innocent Youyou to her. He had always been only a substitute anyway. He was needed only because his presence meant that Youyou was still alive.

Yun Shishi had been waiting for the return of the previous Youyou, not him. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t tried. He had tried to be like the other Youyou. He had tried to smile more, he had tried to bring them warmth. But he failed to do so. They were, after all, two separate independent personalities.

He couldn’t do it, he couldn’t replace him. Therefore, he was willing to give up his place.

The boy in the black shirt gripped his wrist tightly and said grimly, “Mommy needs you. Go back to her, okay?”

His tone softened somewhat. He looked at Youyou, but unlike before, there was no longer hatred in his eyes. In the past year or so, he had grown up significantly. His mother had helped him understand that besides hatred and darkness in life, there was also light and happiness.

Life is cruel.

He recognized the cruelty in hatred, in making enemies of. But it was only that particular Youyou, who was deeply aware of the cruelty of life, and yet bravely loved, who was the real hero. Only he had the right to dominate this life.



“I’m not Youyou. I’m Gong Fan.”

Gong Fan smiled. “You are the true Youyou.”

“…”

“Destroy me.” He gripped Youyou’s hands tightly, giving him strength. His dark, cloudy gaze cleared in an instant. “Destroy me and I’ll set you free.”

The wind was wild and gusty. His white shirt was wrinkled from being whipped. The boy stared at the child lying flat beneath him, confronting the imminent destruction.

His hands also gradually lost control, as consciousness took over. They gripped his neck and kept gathering strength.

Gradually…

Gong Fan felt the pressure on his throat becoming more and more suffocating. His face flushed red, and then the color gradually faded. He frowned, but he shouted hoarsely, “I have no regrets…”

He murmured and finally closed his eyes. In that instant, the memory of her gentle smile and the moments they’d spent together flashed past his mind like a revolving carousel.

It wasn’t that he didn’t yearn for her. It was only that this longing gradually dissipated along with the fatal suffocation of his illusory consciousness…
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