Chapter 325 Overthinking Or Not?
Chapter 325 Overthinking Or Not? Now that Tom was alone in his bedroom, he had more than enough time to ponder on the issue Lucy had raised in the vehicle. Although he had tried his best to appear calm and unbothered so that she wouldn't be more upset than she was, he was more worried about the issue than he had let on.
Lucy didn't want to get married. His heart contracted at the thought, which completely contrasted with everything he had ever wanted. Right from when he was a kid, he had always thought about getting married and being a strong and reliable husband and father like his own father. He had worked as hard as he could to attain success because he wanted his future wife and kids to live in comfort and luxury. He had worked hard to build an empire so that he would be able to give his family all his time and attention when the time came. Family meant everything to him.
Initially, when he had met her for the first time, he had thought she didn't want to get involved with men because she lacked experience in that area and was just closed to the idea because she was a workaholic. And then, after she told him about Jaime, he had thought that her awful experience was the reason she had been avoiding men, and he had somehow come to believe that now that she was with him, she was getting over it. He had planned to take things slowly with her until he saw that she was ready for them to get married.
He had thought that it would be a case of later, not never, for her. And that was because he had assumed that since her mind about relationships had changed, naturally, she wouldn't mind getting married. But now, hearing her say it to his face. Telling him that she never wants to get married to him. That had cut right through his heart more than he cared to admit because not only did he want to make her his wife, but he also wanted to have kids with her, and she didn't want any of that.
What then did she want? To just be in a relationship with him like this forever? Or to date him until she gets tired of him? Because he knew he could never get tired of loving her.
Even though he knew there were people in such arrangements who didn't want marriage and were doing well in their relationship, it didn't make sense to him. It would never make sense to him.
That sort of arrangement wasn't for a person like him. He believed strongly in family and craved a family of his own. He wanted a wife and children around him who he would love, care for, provide for, commit to, and be responsible for. That was all he wanted. That was what he had always dreamed of until Lucy had come into his life and had become the only woman whose face he pictured when he thought of his wife. He didn't want just any woman to be his wife. Lucy was the wife he wanted. How often had he looked at her and imagined her, ripe and soft, with a rounded abdomen, carrying the life they created together? How was he going to make this work out? He wondered as he combed his restless fingers through his hair and paced around his bedroom.
He knew that he could easily decide to just shrug it off and relax since a couple of weeks ago, she hadn't even been interested in being in a relationship with the opposite sex. Yet, here she was, in a relationship with him now. It would be too easy to tell himself that if he could make her fall in love with him, then he could as well make her want to be his wife. But he wasn't arrogant enough to believe something like that, and he couldn't dismiss her concerns so easily or remain with her based on the assumption that she would eventually change her mind and get married to him. That wouldn't be fair to her, and it definitely wouldn't be fair to himself either if she never changes her mind, Tom reasoned.
A breakup wasn't even an option since for him, it wasn't a mere matter of just getting married to anyone for necessity but marrying the person who made his heart flutter. And that person was Lucy. It wasn't a matter of just seeing just anyone ripe and round with his baby in her abdomen. He wanted to create life with the one person who had become the essence of his life. He wanted to watch their creation grow within her and see her aglow with the transformation. It was Lucy's face he wanted to see beside him in bed first thing every morning and last thing at night. So he was more than a little bit bothered that she didn't want all of that with him.
He replayed their entire conversation in his head, and although she had said she loved him, and he believed her, doubts were beginning to crawl out. He was beginning to question himself. He wasn't sure how much she loved him or how much longer she would stay with him. Did she even want to live with him? Did he even know what she wanted, or had he just been doing what he pleased this whole time, while she had been going along with it for his sake, just like the whole sex stuff? Was that what these past weeks have been about? He knew he shouldn't be having such thoughts, but he couldn't stop himself.
He had been the one chasing her relentlessly from the first moment he laid eyes on her, and maybe he was doing too much. He realized that along the line, he had begun to treat her like an egg or a delicate china set that he expected to crack if he didn't handle carefully, and although it wasn't a bad thing, but maybe that wasn't what they both needed since it was beginning to take a toll on him, and possibly on her too. Perhaps it was time he relaxed and just allowed her to come to him willingly without any pressure.
"What's up?" Bryan asked, cutting into his thoughts as he suddenly opened the bedroom door without knocking.
Tom put on a bland expression as he glanced at him, "Nothing serious. Sup?"
"Must be serious if your hair is standing like that. I do that with my hair too, when I'm worried. I guess it's a Hank thing," Bryan said, eyeing Tom's hair which bore testament to his restless fingers as he walked further into the bedroom.
"Just trying to figure out stuff. What about Jade? When is she getting here?" Tom asked, changing the subject.
"Soon. I believe. Unless she has decided to toss us under the bus and just spend some more time with Harry. I'm traveling back tomorrow to settle a couple of things with Paul. Although Jeff is handling them already, my presence is needed," Bryan said, changing the subject as he sat on Tom's gold padded vanity stool.
Tom's brow arched, "You need my permission to travel?" He asked, and Bryan grinned.
"You're going to be my boss soon, aren't you? I should start practicing how to be accountable to you," Bryan said, and Tom scoffed.
"Let me know if he tries to make things too difficult, and I'll take care of it," Tom said, and Bryan made a hats-off gesture.
"Sure, boss brother!" Bryan said, and Tom's lips twitched at his brother's silliness.
"Let's tell mom about Simon tonight. We've put it off for long enough," Bryan said, and Tom glanced at him in surprise.
"I almost forgot about him," Tom said with a sigh as he pressed his fingers against his eyes.
"Of course, you have a lot on your mind. Simon should be the least of your worries," Bryan said with understanding.
"We can talk to her after the party," Tom said with a sigh.
"And just so you know, I'm taking the case to court separately. I'd love to deal with Anita from my end while you do what you will from your end," Bryan said, and Tom massaged his temple.
Between work, his relationship with Lucy, and dealing with Anita, he didn't know which was stressing him more at the moment, but his head was beginning to spin, and Anita was the last person he wanted to think about.
"I already told you the plan. Stick to it. It would be best you bid your time until I take down the shields around her. Her family is related to the country's chief justice. If you sue her now, I'm sure they would pull every string to dismiss the case, and then they will know I'm coming for them. Why don't we let that be the final straw after I deal with her family? We can sue her separately. That way, she would be too busy going in and out of different courtrooms to have time to find another job after I fire her," Tom said, and Bryan nodded.
"I will wait. Just don't take too long. I'm not as patient as you," Bryan said as he got off the vanity and headed for the door.
He hesitated by the door, "You don't want to talk about what is bothering you?" He asked, and Tom shook his head.
"It's nothing I can't handle. Thanks," Tom said with a small smile. He really hoped that he would be able to handle it all properly.
"When you're done brooding, you can come take a look at the stuff we got for dad, and then we can wrap them together. Jade and Sonia insisted we wrap the gifts ourselves. They called it a loving gesture or something," Bryan added with a roll of his eyes that told Tom he thought the idea was silly before walking away, but not without seeing Tom's lips curve.
Once he was alone, Tom went to stand in front of the mirror. Maybe he was just overthinking all of this, and nothing good ever came from overthinking. He needed to get a grip on his emotions for both his sake and Lucy's.
Lucy didn't want to get married. His heart contracted at the thought, which completely contrasted with everything he had ever wanted. Right from when he was a kid, he had always thought about getting married and being a strong and reliable husband and father like his own father. He had worked as hard as he could to attain success because he wanted his future wife and kids to live in comfort and luxury. He had worked hard to build an empire so that he would be able to give his family all his time and attention when the time came. Family meant everything to him.
Initially, when he had met her for the first time, he had thought she didn't want to get involved with men because she lacked experience in that area and was just closed to the idea because she was a workaholic. And then, after she told him about Jaime, he had thought that her awful experience was the reason she had been avoiding men, and he had somehow come to believe that now that she was with him, she was getting over it. He had planned to take things slowly with her until he saw that she was ready for them to get married.
He had thought that it would be a case of later, not never, for her. And that was because he had assumed that since her mind about relationships had changed, naturally, she wouldn't mind getting married. But now, hearing her say it to his face. Telling him that she never wants to get married to him. That had cut right through his heart more than he cared to admit because not only did he want to make her his wife, but he also wanted to have kids with her, and she didn't want any of that.
What then did she want? To just be in a relationship with him like this forever? Or to date him until she gets tired of him? Because he knew he could never get tired of loving her.
Even though he knew there were people in such arrangements who didn't want marriage and were doing well in their relationship, it didn't make sense to him. It would never make sense to him.
That sort of arrangement wasn't for a person like him. He believed strongly in family and craved a family of his own. He wanted a wife and children around him who he would love, care for, provide for, commit to, and be responsible for. That was all he wanted. That was what he had always dreamed of until Lucy had come into his life and had become the only woman whose face he pictured when he thought of his wife. He didn't want just any woman to be his wife. Lucy was the wife he wanted. How often had he looked at her and imagined her, ripe and soft, with a rounded abdomen, carrying the life they created together? How was he going to make this work out? He wondered as he combed his restless fingers through his hair and paced around his bedroom.
He knew that he could easily decide to just shrug it off and relax since a couple of weeks ago, she hadn't even been interested in being in a relationship with the opposite sex. Yet, here she was, in a relationship with him now. It would be too easy to tell himself that if he could make her fall in love with him, then he could as well make her want to be his wife. But he wasn't arrogant enough to believe something like that, and he couldn't dismiss her concerns so easily or remain with her based on the assumption that she would eventually change her mind and get married to him. That wouldn't be fair to her, and it definitely wouldn't be fair to himself either if she never changes her mind, Tom reasoned.
A breakup wasn't even an option since for him, it wasn't a mere matter of just getting married to anyone for necessity but marrying the person who made his heart flutter. And that person was Lucy. It wasn't a matter of just seeing just anyone ripe and round with his baby in her abdomen. He wanted to create life with the one person who had become the essence of his life. He wanted to watch their creation grow within her and see her aglow with the transformation. It was Lucy's face he wanted to see beside him in bed first thing every morning and last thing at night. So he was more than a little bit bothered that she didn't want all of that with him.
He replayed their entire conversation in his head, and although she had said she loved him, and he believed her, doubts were beginning to crawl out. He was beginning to question himself. He wasn't sure how much she loved him or how much longer she would stay with him. Did she even want to live with him? Did he even know what she wanted, or had he just been doing what he pleased this whole time, while she had been going along with it for his sake, just like the whole sex stuff? Was that what these past weeks have been about? He knew he shouldn't be having such thoughts, but he couldn't stop himself.
He had been the one chasing her relentlessly from the first moment he laid eyes on her, and maybe he was doing too much. He realized that along the line, he had begun to treat her like an egg or a delicate china set that he expected to crack if he didn't handle carefully, and although it wasn't a bad thing, but maybe that wasn't what they both needed since it was beginning to take a toll on him, and possibly on her too. Perhaps it was time he relaxed and just allowed her to come to him willingly without any pressure.
"What's up?" Bryan asked, cutting into his thoughts as he suddenly opened the bedroom door without knocking.
Tom put on a bland expression as he glanced at him, "Nothing serious. Sup?"
"Must be serious if your hair is standing like that. I do that with my hair too, when I'm worried. I guess it's a Hank thing," Bryan said, eyeing Tom's hair which bore testament to his restless fingers as he walked further into the bedroom.
"Just trying to figure out stuff. What about Jade? When is she getting here?" Tom asked, changing the subject.
"Soon. I believe. Unless she has decided to toss us under the bus and just spend some more time with Harry. I'm traveling back tomorrow to settle a couple of things with Paul. Although Jeff is handling them already, my presence is needed," Bryan said, changing the subject as he sat on Tom's gold padded vanity stool.
Tom's brow arched, "You need my permission to travel?" He asked, and Bryan grinned.
"You're going to be my boss soon, aren't you? I should start practicing how to be accountable to you," Bryan said, and Tom scoffed.
"Let me know if he tries to make things too difficult, and I'll take care of it," Tom said, and Bryan made a hats-off gesture.
"Sure, boss brother!" Bryan said, and Tom's lips twitched at his brother's silliness.
"Let's tell mom about Simon tonight. We've put it off for long enough," Bryan said, and Tom glanced at him in surprise.
"I almost forgot about him," Tom said with a sigh as he pressed his fingers against his eyes.
"Of course, you have a lot on your mind. Simon should be the least of your worries," Bryan said with understanding.
"We can talk to her after the party," Tom said with a sigh.
"And just so you know, I'm taking the case to court separately. I'd love to deal with Anita from my end while you do what you will from your end," Bryan said, and Tom massaged his temple.
Between work, his relationship with Lucy, and dealing with Anita, he didn't know which was stressing him more at the moment, but his head was beginning to spin, and Anita was the last person he wanted to think about.
"I already told you the plan. Stick to it. It would be best you bid your time until I take down the shields around her. Her family is related to the country's chief justice. If you sue her now, I'm sure they would pull every string to dismiss the case, and then they will know I'm coming for them. Why don't we let that be the final straw after I deal with her family? We can sue her separately. That way, she would be too busy going in and out of different courtrooms to have time to find another job after I fire her," Tom said, and Bryan nodded.
"I will wait. Just don't take too long. I'm not as patient as you," Bryan said as he got off the vanity and headed for the door.
He hesitated by the door, "You don't want to talk about what is bothering you?" He asked, and Tom shook his head.
"It's nothing I can't handle. Thanks," Tom said with a small smile. He really hoped that he would be able to handle it all properly.
"When you're done brooding, you can come take a look at the stuff we got for dad, and then we can wrap them together. Jade and Sonia insisted we wrap the gifts ourselves. They called it a loving gesture or something," Bryan added with a roll of his eyes that told Tom he thought the idea was silly before walking away, but not without seeing Tom's lips curve.
Once he was alone, Tom went to stand in front of the mirror. Maybe he was just overthinking all of this, and nothing good ever came from overthinking. He needed to get a grip on his emotions for both his sake and Lucy's.
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