We continue on a path unrelated to the cultural festival, opposite to where the shopping district and the school were.
Passing the elementary school that us siblings and Shizuku used to attend together, we walked alongside the narrow passageway that has been recently renovated.
We arrived at a plain stone bridge.
The letters engraved on the old, distorted cobblestone bridge were weathered and difficult to read.
Perhaps they were just one of the many that could be found in any town.
High school students nowadays would probably be taking fancy and imaginative photos of the bridge for social networking sites, but it’s just a bridge.
Let me tell you again, it is just a bridge.
It was a small stream with a bridge over it where elementary school kids might play in the water after school, but to Shizuku and I, it was different.
“Here, do you remember?”
I stopped in front of the bridge and said to Shizuku.
She stopped to look around and said something nostalgic.
“I remember… Kaede fell down from here a long time ago and got soaked, didn’t she?”
It was a memory from a few years ago, but Shizuku remembered the situation from that time clearly and said with a wry smile.
If I remember correctly, I think she accidentally fell when she was leaning forward to watch the Koi fish swimming in the river.
I was impressed that while me and Shizuku were worried about Kaede’s condition in the situation, all Kaede was worried about was that her teaching materials being wet.
I recalled somewhat of an embarrassing memory that everyone has, and Shizuku had a look on her face as if to say why she was brought to a place where she had no business.
I could not solve her problems, I could not sympathize with her, I could not offer her a shoulder to lean on.
Perfect mutual understanding is impossible.
Yet, people seek understanding.
Even though it is impossible, even though we know someplace in our hearts that it is impossible, we still put ourselves at the epicenter of the world and think about things as such.
Me, Shizuku, and the people who had high hopes for her.
“Is the reason why you’re seeking answers from me because you think I am the one who understands you the best?”
“…Yes, because you know me the best and most of all because you are so different from others.”
Shizuku stares at the reflection of my eyes while still looking into the surface of the river.
Why does she overestimate me so much?
In the past, I wouldn’t have cared what she said or how she evaluated me.
No, I still don’t care if I’m the only one who feels this way.
This is because the evaluation from others’ is the correct evaluation today’s standards.
Self-evaluation is often either too high or too low.
I personally believe that it is more reliable to be evaluated by others than to set up vague evaluation criteria for myself.
Still, I was experiencing feelings that I had never felt before.
The idea is that I need to make sure that a negative evaluation of myself does not have a negative impact on the people I associate with.
Currently, there are only a few students with whom I have a relationship with.
It is no exaggeration to say that, with the exception of Shizuku, Kirasaka, and Yuuto, I only have contact with the student council.
I have known them for a long time, so people around me are convinced, but people’s impressions of me can change easily.
It can go from heaven to earth in an instant.
If it were me, I would think it was inevitable, but I started to think that I had to avoid putting them in such situations.
I suppose this is also a kind of shift in my feelings.
As expected me, a caring man.
…Or rather, this kind of consideration should not be taken for granted if you are going to live in a group.
Because I was not part of a group.
I was so alone that I almost started a political party named Bocchi.
I remember what Shizuku asked me when I was in the shopping district.
“What should I do for …everyone, for Minato-kun?”
…Shizuku’s question itself shows her character.
She is too kind, and her thinking is centered on others rather than herself, which in turn results in her own suffering.
I know what I needed to say.
But I decided to rephrase it.
“First of all, just because it’s me doesn’t mean I understand you the best…”
I flatly denied Shizuku’s words.
Her shoulders shook, and even from behind her back, though vaguely, I could see that her expression had darkened.
“It’s a matter of the time we’ve shared… I know you just because I’ve spent more time with you than anyone else… It’s not that I’m amazing, or that the people around you are bad.”
There are things that even I’ve noticed because every gesture, every habit, every movement she unconsciously makes is an old habit of hers.
The reason I brought her here is to tell her that we have shared a lot of time together.
Even the most ordinary scenery has memories because the two of us have spent a lot of time together.
There are things that I have noticed because I have the advantage of time over the students around me.
If I had only spent the same amount of time with Shizuku as others, I wouldn’t have noticed.
So the idea that I have the answers she wants because I am me is wrong.
It doesn’t have to be me.
However, I also understood that it would be difficult.
“…It’s hard to be popular …or someone who has so much to gain.”
Because of the talent and appearance they have been given, there are some problems that trouble them.
Not all of them approach them purely to get close, or to have a chance to communicate with them.
There is greed, there is falsehood, and for some reason people start competing with each other.
They want to be the first to seek unwanted companionship.
The fact that people around them are getting excited about something they started on their own is nothing more than a nuisance to them.
The fact that they don’t notice this is probably due to their young age, or perhaps they are just aware that it’s normal.
The fact is that Shizuku is troubled, so she will probably need to take some action to solve the problem.
“…How far can you throw it away? …Is all I can say.”
“…Throw away?”
“Yes, time, friendships, study, and self-improvement… to name a few, but how much can you throw away other than your top priority?”
I sat down on the railing of the stone bridge and told her this.
Shizuku nodded quietly and listened to me.
It is natural to give up something in exchange for something.
It is natural to throw something away in exchange for something.
If we go out into society, we will often get something in exchange for money.
But we are students.
We have to make choices based on something other than money.
It is inevitable that Shizuku will keep what she really needs to, and the rest will have a lower priority in exchange for that.
It is easy to treat everything equally, but it is difficult to maintain it like that.
To use as an example, Ogiwara Yuuto, he is giving up his own will for the sake of those around him.
In order to be a kind prince, he has decided that the people around him are more important than himself.
And Kirasaka Rei has abandoned relations with others.
She devotes her time and abilities only to what she is interested in.
Then, how about Hiiragi Akane?
She is the only one I don’t understand.
She may be the only one who treats all things equally.
But on the other hand, she probably doesn’t have that many things to prioritize.
So, I should not refer to her as an example this time.
What are the things that Shizuku really wants to prioritize and what can she give up in order to do so?
“I can’t focus on academics and maintain relationships like before… I can see that the time I spend with you guys has decreased since I joined the student council.”
That’s the answer I chose.
I chose to join the student council and spend less time with Shizuku and the others, who were the only people I had any connection with.
I chose the student council because my first priority at that time was to win the election and work as a student council member.
I don’t regret it, there’s no point in doing it.
Time never goes back, and fantasizing about going back doesn’t change reality.
“It’s your choice whether to be the princess everyone wants you to be or to put your own feelings first…”
Saying this, I moved my gaze towards her.
My gaze meets with that of Shizuku, who has just come to sit down beside me.
The sound of the river water flowing and the leaves brushing against each other.
The background sound was rich in nature.
Usually, one of us would look away from the other, but this time, our gazes remained fixed on each other.
I could see her eyes change to the ones that were looking for an answer, just like when we took a break.
“Minato-kun–“
“This is …Shizuku’s choice. There’s no point in asking people for answers.”
I’m sure that if you listen to my opinion here, you will regret it.
I’m sure you’ll regret it if you had chosen a different option at that time.
You may even think that you should not have asked me for advice in the first place.
But you have to make your own choice on this one.
…And I have to make my own choice soon, too.
I’m not just saying this to her, but I’m also reminding myself.
“I…”
I stood up, interrupting the struggling voice that was trying to speak from the back of my throat.
Shizuku also raised her gaze and looked at me.
“…Break is almost over, let’s get back to it.”
“Yes….”
The answer doesn’t have to be right now.
On the way back, you can spend the rest of the festival choosing your answer.
Mindlessly, I returned to the second half of the festival with Shizuku, who looked more serious than when we arrived at this place.
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