Na-Yool cried for a long time, bawling her heart out. The clumsy hand, for which this situation was clearly a first, gently caressed her nape, reassuring her. Despite the awkwardness of the touch, Na-Yool seemed to have found in it the most solid solace she could wish for.
Does being good at anything apply to things like this? In fact, it was a mystery whether Si-Jin really was a man of many talents, or if he was special in her eyes whatever he did. Because Na-Yool had already lost her objectivity.
As if monopolizing his chest to calm herself down was not enough, the high-priced suit was now wet with tears. When it suddenly struck her that it might not be expensive but filthy expensive, she broke away from Si-Jin.
“…I, I am fine now.”
“I can’t trust your ‘fine’ anymore.” Si-Jin sharply interrupted while he looked at her with worried eyes.
“…No pretending this time, I am really fine.”
“……”
“Thanks to you… Thank you. I don’t know how you knew to come here but…”
Although belatedly, she realized chances were high that Hyung-Wook of the HR Team had opened his mouth, as light as a feather. After all, he was the person who communicated with Si-Jin the most transparently throughout the company. Even Kim PD had no scruple calling him Si-Jin’s minion.
Was she in the wrong for believing said minion who confidently answered to trust him, when she requested to carefully keep her private matter to himself?
At that time, she was in an extremely troubled state, and had no energy to spare being doubtful of Hyung-Wook or cooking up a plausible explanation to her situation. All she could do was evasively tone down the facts, then tell him to keep it secret.
Back then, she indeed was greatly distressed that Si-Jin would know about this incident.
While Na-Yool stared in a daze at his stained shirt, Si-Jin had slowly recovered his habitual indifference.
“It was an easy choice. Coming here.”
He spoke as if it was not even worth an explanation. Meaning, it was so easy for him that there was no way to explain it. It was not a very appropriate answer, but even Na-Yool did not find it strange at the moment.
It did not matter anymore. Now, he was in front of her. Her lawless and wretched world had returned to its peacefulness. The occasional convulsions of her hands had also completely stopped, and her mood had stabilized to a quite normal state. Her rationality, first undermined by Sang-Hoon then shook to the core by the detective, also returned to normal. Now that Na-Yool had perfectly ‘calm down’ – as constantly emphasized by both Sang-Hoon and the detective – she was finally capable of taking a decision.
She will do her utmost to ruin Sang-Hoon’s life.
“By the way, I can’t believe this smart brain of yours thought of notifying Lee Hyung-Wook of your absence…”
“……”
“…But not to call me even once.”
The question dropped just as Na-Yool, inwardly picturing Sang-Hoon’s doomed future, was about to take a lighter step. Wasn’t the natural course of the events to get out of here?
She looked back at Si-Jin’s standing figure still nailed in place, unconsciously casting a puzzled look, but a peculiar chill in his voice made her eyes cloud up in agitation.
“You didn’t say a word to me, neither to ask for my help, nor for me to come here right away.”
“That…”
“That, even now, I can’t believe it.”
“……”
“For real, you’re such a hard nut to crack.”
Since when did being perplexed have the same meaning as getting angry? Indeed. Si-Jin was angry at her for some reason ‒ though not obvious at first glance, due to his very calm composure. Almost as if the person who, just a few minutes ago, had gently wiped her tears while nervously apologizing for coming too late, had suddenly vanished.
Strictly speaking it was Na-Yool’s fault that he was late. That is, disregarding the fact that she initially did not even call for him. Therefore, Kwon Si-Jin should have either gotten angry or apologized, but not both.
Even facing such a fact, Na-Yool was stumped for words, lost at what to answer.
Intuitively, many things came to mind. But like earlier, all were difficult words to utter. They might sound too selfish, too frank, or too harsh. Right in front of her stood the skillful master of wearing down her affection over the years with his words. Yet, when facing him, she could hardly say anything.
“…I should not have trusted Hyung-Wook.”
And thus all that could come out was Hyung-Wook’s name. Naturally, Si-Jin continued talking as though her futile reply was not worth his attention.
“When I see you these days, I feel so damn far behind.”
“……”
“Like a big fool lagging behind.”
There was a time when Na-Yool used to look at Si-Jin and wonder how it was like to live ahead of most people. Somehow, in a different way, these words would be more appropriate coming out of her mouth than his.
So although this conversation somewhat made sense, Na-Yool could not understand where his so-called ‘big fool’ feeling came from. Especially if Si-Jin was the one feeling this way. And especially if she was the cause of it.
Si-Jin seemed to read Na-Yool’s incomprehension on her face and kept talking in a snarky tone. It sounded more self-deprecating than a rebuke towards Na-Yool.
“Just look at me, right here, standing before you. I’m so damn ridiculous. You begged Hyung-Wook to not tell me a thing, but I forced the words out of him and chased you all the way here. Ignoring the fact that you deliberately excluded me and me alone—”
“—That’s not…”
“And here I am. You wished to keep me in the dark, but even if I’m aware, I recklessly came chasing after you as I please, like that bastard stalker.”
“……”
“Yet I’m standing here, as if I was so different from him, offering my help that you didn’t even ask for. Am I wrong?”
Si-Jin asked with a bitter smile and started walking. The unexpected words once again left Na-Yool speechless, her mouth soundlessly open. Really, it was such an astonishing retort! That she denied him, that he came after her like a stalker…
Was there any face that could not suit less the word ‘stalking’ than his? It was not because he was good-looking, but because the word simply did not fit with his ‘I lack for nothing in this world’ look. This heartless face, which would not look back twice after dropping a “I don’t like you” as if it had waited for it.
Na-Yool could not believe Si-Jin came up with such a thought, and to hear it come out of his mouth had struck her with wide open, blinking eyes. This man?? Towards me??
There is a reason she never expected it. It was because it did not make sense.
However, not saying anything is often regarded as a silent agreement, and it was unclear how Na-Yool’s silence had been interpreted. She blankly followed Si-Jin and spoke up, pressured by his sunken gaze.
“…You can’t possibly be comparing yourself to him?”
“Ultimately, we are not that different, are we.”
It was only then that Na-Yool realized that Si-Jin did not know the details of the case at all. He had guessed the rough outline but had yet to hear a proper explanation of the incident. That being so, it was not surprising that he would jump to such a conclusion.
Si-Jin was already in the middle of mocking his own self anyway, so for that purpose, to regard himself as the same kind of human trash was nothing hard to do. However, if he had known what Sang-Hoon really tried to do, he certainly would not have made this comparison. If only he had known that these burst lips were the product of attempted rape.
When she understood that Si-Jin was not aware of it all – and consequently, that there were still more untold truths – Na-Yool grew even more distressed.
“…That is not why I kept this incident from you. And neither did I have such a grand reason to…”
“Then why?”
“……”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“…It is mortifying. That’s why.”
Although it was a half-serious reason, Si-Jin burst into empty laughter out of a deadpan expression.
“I’m the bastard who got caught by you jerking off in his office.”
“……”
“What do you have to feel ashamed of in front of me?”
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