Chapter 40

“How could love always be the same? If you look at his face whenever love cools down, even if it does not make you feel better, it at least should not make you feel worse. Unless there is an unfortunate reason to keep him around.”

“……”

“I got married, so be this or that, it’s not like I can throw him away anyway.”

Hee-Jung chewed on her lips. Na-Yool felt that the subject had stealthily shifted from Seung-Jae to Hee-Jung’s husband. Her willingness to listen attentively was fading away as Hee-Jung’s chattering went on. Na-Yool’s eyes rolled around and started losing focus in the distance.

“In any case, there are more options than you might expect so don’t be so categoric about it, Na-Yool. Though I understand you are especially careful because it’s between colleagues.”

“I would be careful indeed, but really, Seung-Jae is just a subordinate and…”

“I also know what you’re worried about. But still, love could be closer than you think. And it’s not like our company cares about office love affairs… we just don’t do it because we don’t have the time to face each other properly. Anyway, I’m just saying not to regrettably miss your chance at love by playing it safe.”

“Like I said, this relationship is—”

“And to give a chance to people around you.”

Who am I anyway to do so?… Disconcerted by the mention of ‘giving a chance’, Na-Yool decided to sort things out.

“… But well, you know, I am me. And Seung-Jae is not particularly interested in me.”

“Do you really think so?”

“Ask him. You will see—”

“You really do?”

Na-Yool had no idea why Hee-Jung seemed so confident. She laughed awkwardly. “… That guy has no intention to woo me, so can you imagine how wronged he might feel if I go around rejecting the idea of dating him?”

Hee-Jung grabbed her chin with an unfathomable expression. For some unknown reasons she started losing confidence.

“So it’s not just about whether I like him or not.”

“Hm-hmm.”

“Of course he really is a good person, but dating him, or seeing him as a man… I definitely hate it.”

Na-Yool did not like using the word ‘hate’ towards Seung-Jae, but she had to make that firm statement as the conversation was clearly not flowing in the direction she wished. Hee-Jung finally nodded her head with a convinced look. “Well, your opinion on the matter is clearly set.”

“And him too, he doesn’t see me as a woman. I am sure he doesn’t like me either. Just think about how many times I’ve scolded him for not doing his work properly.”

“Now I feel sorry for that poor Seung-Jae.”

“Aah… really, why do you keep doing this…”

Na-Yool made a long face and Hee-Jung burst into laughter. “Because you are just so cute. Both of you.”

“… Well, time to get off work.”

They all are having so much fun…

It was fascinating to see how excited everyone was over gossip that appeared out of nowhere. Na-Yool abruptly ended the conversation, turned back and walked away in a haste as a witty “Still, think about it!” came from behind her from another employee. It only meant one thing: that they had held their breath and pretended to work while they listened to the whole conversation.

When Na-Yool came back to her desk she noticed the dinner party goer was nowhere to be found. She stared blankly at her screen still on and picked up her phone after a while. It was clear with what expectations she was looking at it. She was checking to see if there was something else following the sudden and enigmatic ‘Please be quiet in the office’ message.

I knew it.

Nothing. As expected, she thought, before something on the screen she was about to turn off caught her eyes. Messages from a certain someone with way too many things to say that she had switched off all notification alarms from him…

From: Manic-depressive lunatic

[Today I’ll be waiting in front of your office] 7:49 PM

Na-Yool’s face turned white the instant she looked at the preview window. For better or worse, she had not blocked Sang-Hoon ‒ even if he was annoying ‒ in case something like this or something she was not aware of happened.

Na-Yool looked at the clock urgently. 8:28 pm. Sang-Hoon’s company was not that far away. He had sent that message roughly 40 minutes ago, so even in the case it was sent when he set off, it was very likely that he had already arrived in front of Ethical Communications.

She nervously looked down on her phone again.

Just how much more bullshit does he have to unload…

Out of the 45 new messages she had received, 40 were from the manic-depressive lunatic‒ no, Sang-Hoon. At this point it was a wonder that he still had anything left to vent out after already venting so much. Despite telling herself not to scroll it, her finger moved reflexively.

Fucking curiosity… Since the beginnings of things, damn curiosity had always doomed humanity.

[Don’t you have anything to say to me?] 4:55 PM

Why else would she not contact him then? To think it took him a whole week of being ignored to figure that out…

[Right, that’s how you are] 5:49 PM

He could not even hold it in one hour after his pitiful attempt to bait her out to get an answer from her had failed. Instead of not answering anything, the only answer he could have expected from her to his “Don’t you have anything to say to me?”  was at best a “Yeah, I’ve got nothing to tell you”.

Unfortunately, there were more messages.

[I know it too] 5:49 PM

[that I made a mistake on Sunday night] 5:49 PM

[But] 5:49 PM

[you are in the wrong too] 5:50 PM

[You shouldn’t treat me this way, Na-Yool] 5:50 PM

[like I don’t mean anything now that we are not together] 5:51 PM

Messages were timewise cut off here which hinted at how overwhelmed he was after writing that one. Na-Yool suspected he had discreetly slipped out to the bathroom to sob and wipe up his tears.

[Even if we broke up] 6:04 PM

[that’s not how it should be] 6:05 PM

[I didn’t treat you this way] 6:05 PM

[To the very end you were always selfish, but I wasn’t] 6:05 PM

That was rich, coming from the one who had treacherously asked for a break-up without warning… What a greatly devoted human being he was!

[Is that the only manners you have towards the man you dated for 200 days or so?] 6:06 PM

[Tell me, is that the only respect you have for me as your ex] 6:06 PM

This manic-depressive lunatic, he had dumped her light-heartedly, and yet what was he expecting now? As if it was not depressing enough to get dumped, now she had to show him some manners? Not only was the critics astonishing, but she had never disrespected him in any way either.

She had obediently broken it off and even warmly bid him farewell when, full of himself like the main lead of a drama, he had tragically asked her to ‘please let him go’. Had she not been thoughtful back then not to mock him by pointing out she was not holding onto him in the first place?!

Never did she expect he would pester her this way for her manners.

[Do you think everything is over once we break up?] 6:07 PM

If it was not over, then what else?

[I’ve been waiting for over a week] 6:07 PM

[You probably didn’t contact me because you’re having a hard time] 6:08 PM

[If I wait, you will surely get in touch] 6:08 PM

[That’s what I thought, and the reason why I kept contacting you one-sidedly like a fool, to make you feel less burden…] 6:09 PM

To make me feel less of a burden…? His purpose was somewhat shocking, but it was fortunate that he was at least aware how weird his current state was.

[Did you enjoy it, seeing me like this?] 6:09 PM

[It sure looks like you did, Kim Na-Yool] 6:10 PM

[Seeing how you thoroughly checked every single message despite not answering even once] 6:10 PM

For real now, Na-Yool was sick of being endlessly bombarded with Sang-Hoon’s messages. Though she had to admit that as time passed by, this situation sometimes felt comical, and she could not help but find it funny as if it was someone else’s business.