CH 25

***

It wasn’t difficult to find Sir Herace because of his red hair. Especially here, where everything was white. The man was on the low hill behind the tent.

“…Mother?”

And beside him was his mother. Abel’s vigilance, which had been lessened, rose up once again.

The two adults looked so comfortable with each other from afar. His mother only loved his father and him, so who the h*ll was that man?

However, a small question passed through Abel’s head.

‘Don’t tell me… Mother doesn’t like Sir Herace more than me and Father, does she?’

Abel was upset just thinking about it. The child suddenly missed his father dearly and tears welled up in his eyes.

Then, Chloe and Abel’s eyes met. Chloe waved to Abel. However, Abel was upset for no reason and turned away.

‘Mom, why are you with him? I don’t like him!’

The child had no idea how to express his feelings in this kind of situation. He was only able to express his dismay by ignoring his mother’s wave.

The child couldn’t help but ask on that night. Because he didn’t think he could sleep without asking.

“Mother.”

“…Hm?”

Abel couldn’t stop asking questions even though his mother’s voice was laced with drowsiness.

“Mother…”

“…”

“You love Father the most, right?”

“Ahem.”

Chloe briefly paused from answering such a painful question to clear her voice first. Abel’s anxiety rose during the brief pause.

‘Mother, tell me you do! Hurry up!’

The child swallowed anxiously, not able to rush his mother.

“Mother… loves Abel and Father the most.”

The child was relieved only after hearing the answer he wanted. Abel, whose anxiety had been relieved, buried himself into his mother’s arms. Yes, his mother loved his father and his father loved his mother.

***

The child’s longing for his father grew. The news about his father coming made his longing grow even more. He felt like his complicated mind would be solved when his father arrived.

“Father, is that an elephant?”

“Yes. It must be a baby elephant, considering its small size.”

“Wow, adorable!”

It was especially bad when Frederick and Rennesia were together. Frederick, who held Renee dearly, observed the elephant and talked about things only the father and daughter could understand.

When Abel saw them, he remembered the time when he went to see an ostrich with his father.

-I’m not scared at all. As the sword of the Empire, this is nothing for me… AHH!

Abel approached the ostrich confidently. However, when the ostrich stretched out its long neck and brought its face closer to him, Abel couldn’t help but scream.

-Hahaha. Are you sure you’re fine? Abel, if you’re scared, Father might have to hug you.

Gerard smiled and asked affectionately.

-…Hug me.

He was hugged afterwards. He suddenly missed his father very much. Abel couldn’t keep the corners of his mouth from going down. These overwhelming emotions were quite daunting for the child.

“…I wish Father had come with us.”

The child stopped talking when he remembered his mother would be sad if he talked about his father. He had endured it well so far…

Ah, there he went, making his mother’s expression sorrowful again. He promised his father that he’d protect his mother… But he kept making her sad, which was the opposite of his promise. In fact, it might be because he was bad at everything.

‘It may be because of me that mother and father are not close.’

The child recklessly assumed that he was the cause of all these problems. In fact, he knew it wasn’t like that, and he knew how much his parents loved him, but in the midst of anxiety and high stress, the child came to a strange conclusion.

“Mom! AHH!”

When the ladder was about to fall on his mother, Abel shouted for his mother but called out to his father in his heart.

‘Father, help me!’

Because to him, his father was stronger, braver, and more reliable than anyone else.

‘I’m sorry for being upset, I’m sorry I made Mother sad. Please help us, Father. I can’t even protect my mother. Father… I’m so scared, Father!’

“Ugh…”

However, the one who saved his mother… was none other than the weird man, Herace. Herace’s legs were crushed by the falling leader and were bleeding.

“UHUHU!”

Abel, who had to witness it all, burst into tears. The tears that he had been holding back couldn’t be stopped once he let them out. No matter how affectionate and sweet Chloe was, his sobbing didn’t stop.

“Huhu… Hic.”

He was sad because Sir Herace got hurt, and he was glad because his mother didn’t get hurt… And he was resentful towards his father, who didn’t come.

In the end, Father couldn’t protect Mother either. He knew that his father couldn’t help her because he wasn’t here, but his heart just couldn’t take it. Why was he not around at times like this?

‘Father, where are you?’

Although he resented his father, he still felt longing for him. He didn’t know what to call this kind of feeling.

Abel, who kept all of his swirling emotions in his little head, confessed a little bit of it to Chloe.

“Mother… I miss Father…”

It was just one sentence, but it conveyed all of the child’s emotions. Fear, anxiety, resentment, and love.

“…Yes, I miss him too.”

Chloe simply hugged Abel tightly in her arms, whether she knew about Abel’s feelings or not. The child kept chanting a prayer before falling asleep in his mother’s arms.

‘I miss my father. Please let my father arrive quickly.’

***

As if God responded to his prayer, Abel saw his father as soon as he woke up the next morning. It was when Gerard asked Anata’s doctor to examine Abel’s condition. The child was awakened by the touch of adults.

“Father…”

Gerard hugged Abel, whose eyes were filled with tears. His eyes and nose were red and runny, enough to make Gerard sad.

“My son, are you surprised?”

“Huhu… Why are you here now? Do you know how much I… Huhu, hic.”

“I’m sorry I came so late, Abel.”

Gerard comforted Abel, who was sobbing, but also gestured to the doctor to examine him.

Gerard was very worried that Abel might have been injured somewhere. However, thankfully the child was unscathed.

“Phew.”

Gerard was relieved after the doctor said that Abel was fine overall. And naturally, his anxiousness switched from Abel to Chloe. He was worried that his wife, who was suffering from illness, might wake up because of Abel’s weeping.

That’s why he patted Abel on the back and said.

“Yes, Abel. Can you quiet down for a bit? Mother is currently sick.”

However, Gerard missed something. Just because the child’s body was fine, didn’t mean his mental health would be the same. Gerard’s request increased the child’s disappointment even higher. Even if he had been comforted enough, he wasn’t sure if he could express it again on another occasion.

It was completely the opposite of Gerard’s sincerity, because he truly cherished and loved the son in his arms. Despite running all night and losing his mind during the journey… Gerard carried his child around the room until his son calmed down enough.

He couldn’t put the child down because he felt guilt and pity for the poor child. He wished he could show how deep his love for the child was.

“Heu, yes… hm.”

The child’s weeping wasn’t the kind of thing that could be controlled, being stopped if he wanted it to stop, or even turning it down a bit just because they wanted the child to be quiet.

However, Abel held back his tears because of his love for his parents. It was truly sorrowful. A child who understood when an adult was sad.

And throughout the day, Gerard couldn’t pay attention to Abel because he had to look after his wife. Eventually, Abel became as upset as when he wanted to see his father.

It was at dinner on the day of Gerard’s arrival at the Anata family’s castle.

“Huh? Are you a prince?”

Rennesia called his father a prince.

“It’s an honor for me to be called a prince.”

***

His father, who didn’t show his child a smile since he arrived at the Anata residence, finally smiled at Renee.

“He’s not a prince. He’s my father.”

Abel was grumpy for no reason and puffed up his cheeks.

‘Dad, look at me. I’m still scared, I want you to comfort me more.’

The child didn’t know how to express his feelings, so he only grabbed the hem of his father’s clothes.

It was probably because both Chloe and Gerard were bad at expressing their feelings that Abel didn’t know how to express his feelings well either.

“Oh, but looking at you two from here, you resemble each other a lot. It’s so obvious!”

Nonetheless, he felt quite good to hear from the Grand Duchess that they looked alike.

“I see. I think he looks more like my wife.”

But then… It was also pleasant to hear his father say he looked like his mother. The warmth of his father’s gaze must be because he was reminded of his mother. However, Abel’s mood plummeted at the next topic.

“By the way, don’t you have a plan for a second child?”

“I haven’t discussed it with my wife yet.”

“No, what about you? What do you think?”

“Well, I’m not sure.”

“Think about it. A daughter who looks like Chloe. How cute would it be if she followed you around and called you ‘father’?”

Abel could clearly see it. His father stared at Renee and smiled as if it was a pleasant thing to imagine. He was shocked.

‘If I were a daughter… I wish I resembled Mother.’

Abel’s thoughts wandered away once again. The child’s thoughts changed rapidly due to the stress, high anxiety, and shock of experiencing a major incident.

‘My parents are not on good terms right now… Perhaps, it’s because I’m not a daughter.’

In fact, the reason why the child thought of that was because he wished his parents would comfort him quickly. 

‘Mother, Father, I’m not fine!’

‘I’m thinking such bad thoughts to this extent! Come on, tell me not to do it!’ 

That’s what he thought.

However, his parents couldn’t read their children’s thoughts. The child, whose heart remained uncomforted, found a place to unleash.

And it was when Renee, who had been provoking him, came out as the winner.