CH 131

“You have to be honest with me. Tell me everything.”

“Who sent you here?”

“Marquis Penceir.”

The glasses-wearing lawyer sitting in front of Carynne looked ancient. Wrinkles upon wrinkles were covering his face, and there was a glint in his eyes that made him seem cunning.

Even so, his voice sounded young. He was a man of old age, yet was full of strength.

He was a man who had lived through the years that Carynne could not.

“Sure… But I’m a little tired now. I’ve said the same exact thing so many times already. Can I have some tea?”

“Of course.”

The lawyer spoke to a prison guard, and that guard served some tea just as he was told. His demeanor wasn’t as stiff now, different from when Raymond had visited. He seemed to be well acquainted with the lawyer.

‘Seems like the Marquis took special care in choosing my lawyer.’

This thought passed through Carynne’s mind as she stared at the tea that had been set before her on the table. She killed someone, yet look at her now, drinking tea like this. Better yet, she killed such a high-profile man.

If she had been incarcerated under the charges of killing only Donna, Carynne wouldn’t even have any clothes on her by now.

Kill one person, you’re a murderer.

Kill a hundred, you’re a hero.

Kill ten thousand, you’re a god.

Though far from being considered a hero, Carynne was still living quite a luxurious life compared to most murderers.

“Miss Carynne, please focus.”

“Sorry. I’ve been quite scattered lately.”

“It tends to be that way when you have to prepare for a trial. Especially because you need to repeat the same thing over and over again. It must be exhausting.”

Moderate consolation.

Even so, it was only natural that his voice was slithery and his eyes were cold.

‘Doesn’t matter anyway.’

Carynne was this lawyer’s cash cow right now.

She set down her teacup and stared at the old man.

“Do you think I can get a not guilty verdict?”

“…If you are not guilty, Miss Carynne, then of course you’ll be acquitted of your alleged crimes.”

The lawyer stared back at Carynne.

A business smile appeared on his face.

“Miss Carynne, are you innocent?”

Well, Carynne wanted to die.

And getting the death penalty seemed like a fun, too.

If she were to die like this, it’s actually quite the blessing for her.

“I killed them all. Take me away.”

“I killed His Highness the Crown Prince, Prince Lewis, and Donna.”

“Ah, she’s my maid, by the way.”

Carynne repeated the same words incessantly.

Falsehoods mingled with fragments of the truth. Words thrown at random for the sake of getting the death sentence. Words that people want to hear.

“I didn’t kill Prince Lewis.”

This time, Carynne began to recount what truly happened.

It was her courtesy towards Raymond.

As Carynne spoke, the lawyer’s expression began to change slightly.

“…Let’s be positive about tomorrow’s trial. Since the Marquis said that he will divulge the actions of the late Crown Prince Gueuze, we might be able to change the ruling to incarceration instead.”

“And how many years would that be?”

“That doesn’t matter right now. Miss Carynne, you shouldn’t speak as you have been doing so far when you take the stand tomorrow. We have enough evidence, and with your cooperation, we can avoid the capital punishment.”

“Is that so.”

Carynne stared down at the teacup in front of her. Before she knew it, the cup had already been emptied.

After tomorrow’s trial, ‘the end’ would inevitably be the same, regardless of whether she’d get the death penalty or life imprisonment.

“There’s no such thing as another life where you can start over.”

No, he’s wrong. But she couldn’t convince him otherwise. This was what Carynne had to go through. He does not understand. He will never understand. At this point, it was none of Carynne’s business how hard Raymond was trying to keep her alive. Carynne doesn’t even care what kind of king Prince Lewis would have been.

All of them don’t understand Carynne. There was a wall between Carynne and everyone else in this world. About a book’s width. It’s thin, but it’s impossible to break. Ink cannot escape paper.

“I wish to perform the sacrament of confession before the trial begins.”

“…Miss Carynne, you must be more honest with me rather than any priest.”

“I already told you everything that I can. But my confession has nothing to do with any of that.”

“……”

“I’m afraid that it might be the death penalty.”

Hearing Carynne say this, the lawyer nodded. Indeed, he wasn’t sure either. Even if the law could be construed to a certain extent, the opponent here was the royal family. The victims were members of the royal family. Even if Raymond was well connected with the new king, the current reigning king was still the same, and he lost his children. The very king of this country considers Carynne to be his enemy. Nothing’s certain.

“Alright.”

As the lawyer nodded, Carynne added the most important thing.

“Dullan Roid, please. But I don’t know where he is right now.”

“…Alright.”

And so, Dullan re-enters the stage.

Only one day left before the trial.

* * *

“Go in.”

Carynne sat up straight the moment she heard that he had arrived. The trial was now just a day away. And she didn’t have much time left. If she’d be sentenced to death tomorrow, she could get locked up in a place where she wouldn’t be able to meet anyone else. She might end up all alone, waiting until the day she’d be put to sleep.

So, she must meet him before then.

Now, he’s here.

“……”

Dullan’s here.

And it was judgment day.

Carynne stared at him. His black eyes were veiled. She couldn’t read his intentions, not like how she could before.

“I will be outside,” the guard said.

“T-T-Thanks.”

“…Ha.”

All the prison guards left the room. That’s the kind of privilege a priest had.

Carynne smiled in vain as she watched them all leave, recalling how they wouldn’t even budge when Raymond had asked them to do the same.

Raymond wanted them to leave, whereas Dullan looked quite unhappy that he had to be alone with Carynne.

“Don’t you have something to tell me?”

“I, I didn’t… know that, you’d go as… as far as C-Crown Prince… Gueuze…”

“Ah, to be honest, you’re the one I’ve been wanting to kill.”

Carynne admitted this as she looked Dullan dead in the eye. He didn’t know what she actually experienced, but she didn’t really mind that minor detail. As long as she didn’t have to go through the nasty experience of receiving her mother’s leftovers.

“……”

Dullan sat down, gripping the hem of his priest’s robe. His demeanor right now made it look like he had done something wrong, and he’s waiting to be scolded.

But, really. It’s not him who should want to cry right now.

Carynne also clutched her skirt.

“Stop that.”

Carynne closed her eyes. She wasn’t even angry right now. Before she talked to Raymond, she thought that she’d fly off the handle the moment she’d meet Dullan.

“To me… Does meaning even exist for me when I’m just living the same life over and over again? Ah, well, I guess there’s no other iteration as unpleasant as this one.”

“…I’m s—”

“I don’t want to get an apology from the likes of you. That doesn’t mean anything right now… You know that.”

Carynne had already made up her mind when she took off her necklace back then.

In this iteration, Raymond was no different from her previous lives, and Carynne was exhausted and uncertain. She had already given up on this iteration, already thinking of the next one. Waiting for the ruling of her death sentence was a small delight she was partaking in.

“You know, this time as well, I don’t think I can live anymore.”

“……”

“True love or whatever, that’s just another load of bull as well. The lawyer and Raymond keep saying that it’s still uncertain, but… I know that I won’t be able to live through it in this life. Even if I don’t get the death penalty, I’ve had experience standing trial before.”

“…W-When?”

“It doesn’t matter. Doesn’t when it happened. I once slept with a married man, and his wife committed suicide. So, I got locked up, and the prison guard was her older brother. Everything ended with rat poison in my food… Even then, Raymond didn’t give up on me. Isn’t that funny?”

That’s why Carynne wasn’t sure. Even so, Raymond’s words prevented her from running away.

Carynne observed Dullan’s reaction. This deathly pale, dead-eyed priest.

Still, she knew what he looked like when he was a little younger.

“Why is Mom saying that to me.”

Riding a swing, a boy with a frown on his face stood behind her.

“I’ve already given up on listening to you talk about true love.”

“…Why…”

“More than the trial, or whatever else… Besides the death penalty or whatever it is that lies before me at the end of it all… There’s something I need to confirm. Not the usual bullshit that you spout. The truth.”

Dullan stared at her. And Carynne stared back at him.

It was judgment day.

This did not pertain to the court trial. That was a trivial matter.

“You mentioned before that it was an act of comfort to think that I’m from outside the novel. Right… I needed consolation. That I’m not from here… And that there’s a place I can return to. So… I should have real family, real friends…”

“Then what was your original name?” Raymond asked.

“I don’t remember. It was more than a hundred years ago.”

“It’s impossible to remember. Because, from the very start, I am Carynne Hare. I’ve known ever since I went to visit Missus Deere. There’s no way I wouldn’t notice. Nancy just instilled false hope in me.”

“It’s alright, it’s alright.”

“Everything’s just part of the novel.”

She had to remember that this was what one gypsy woman had whispered to her every night.

As a crippling sense of loss loomed closer and closer, Carynne had struggled desperately against fear itself.

And this was the voice that comforted her.

Carynne could not stop all these repressed memories from coming back to the surface.