Chapter 89 Very Much

"Papa~!"

Cosette froze by the door. Her pupils slowly went large, darting her eyes between Conrad and Maxen. Her father was grabbing Maxen by the collar, agitated for a reason she didn't understand. They looked back at her with dread in their eyes.

"What... is going on here?" her voice was low, confusion apparent in her tone. "Papa?"

Conrad automatically released Maxen. His lips opened and closed, but his voice was stuck in his throat. Surely, Maxen had the worse timing, but Cosette's timing was worst. Of all the time she could come, she appeared in a situation that was easily misunderstood.

"I insulted you." Maxen's voice assaulted the building silence in the study room. "That's why Sir Conrad is agitated."

Cosette frowned at his explanation while Conrad glanced at Maxen in surprise. Although Maxen wasn't completely lying because he, indeed, insulted Cosette by corrupting her, there was no need for him to cover for Conrad.

"You're lying," she pointed out, and then set her eyes back to Conrad. "It's not Max's fault. The kiss is with consent."

Maxen's back stiffened as his eyes slightly dilated at her, only to see Cosette staring directly at Conrad. She didn't look like she was taunting Conrad, but rather, coming clean to her father. Heck. Had she been listening before coming in here? But from her reaction, Maxen was certain Cosette was just as surprised as them when she came.

"I knew Maxen would tell you about it one of these days," she explained after a moment of silence, keeping her attention to Conrad. "That's why when I saw you... I already knew he probably told you about what happened to us during the trip."

"What happened between you two...?"

Cosette held her breath momentarily at the chill that went up to her spine at Conrad's cold tone. "I mean, we didn't do anything further than kissing..."

"Cozie."

She froze, sensing the temperature in the study drop to a negative zero. Meanwhile, Maxen barely blinked, eyes on her. He was aware she was trying to lessen Conrad's anger, but she was just making it worse!

"No, I mean..." Maxen trailed off when Conrad spoke.

"Max, return to your room." Conrad breathed out and cast Maxen a cursory look. "We'll talk about this tomorrow. For now..."

He set his eyes on Cosette, making her swallow the tension in her throat. "For now, I'll talk to Cozie."

"She's not at fault." Maxen bit his tongue when Conrad glared at him, lowering his head. "Yes, sir. Please don't be hard on her."

Conrad hissed but kept quiet. He watched Maxen bow before the latter glanced at Cosette. His daughter smiled weakly while Maxen gave her a slight bow before leaving the two of them. Maxen looked back at her with worry before he closed the door.

"That boy... did he think I will hurt you?" mumbled Conrad, recalling the look in Maxen's eyes before he closed the door. A deep exhale escaped his nose, tipping his head at the set of couches, eyes back to Cosette.

"Sit down, Cozie. Let's talk."

Cosette pressed her lips into a thin line and lowered her eyes. "Alright," came out a small voice, dragging her feet towards the long couch. She placed the glass of milk she was carrying on the coffee table.

When she raised her head, her eyes searched for Conrad. There, near the stand, Conrad grabbed the decanter and a glass of wine. He sauntered back and sat down on the one-seater armchair at the end of the table. He didn't say anything for minutes, letting the silence envelop the room while pouring himself a glass.

"Papa, are you... angry?" she asked worriedly when she couldn't take the silence anymore. Conrad hissed after chugging a glassful of wine, making her flinch when his eyes fell on her.

"No, Cozie." He bent over, placing the wineglass on the coffee table. "I'm not angry at you."

"Are you angry at Max?"

Conrad raised his gaze at her. "No. Especially not to him."

"But you look... angry." Cosette pointed out. She had been in this place for months and spent a fair amount of time with Conrad to know his mood had hit rock bottom. It scared her, but she didn't want to run away or point fingers. This was a matter they should resolve, if not compromised.

"I'm angry that I had allowed him to get too close to you," Conrad confessed as he leaned back, taking off his tie. "I had already considered that you two will develop feelings. You're young and curious. Max is someone who didn't have anyone until you came into his life. One way or another, he will become emotionally dependent on you."

Conrad slapped the armrest lightly and let out a dry sigh. "I thought it was fine since Maxen was already a man, even at a young age. You saw how he instinctively cover up for me — maybe because he didn't want to ruin our relationship."

"My point here is, I am angry at myself, Cosette," he stressed, smacking his lips as he pondered about his reaction. "I like Maxen, even so, I still got angry when he told me what he had done."

"I was the one who initiate it." She lowered her eyes.

"Which makes me even angrier," he returned, waiting for her to raise her head. "Deep down, I already thought it was you who started it. And I can't help but blame myself for it."

Bitterness crossed his eyes as he chuckled bitterly. "You're not a failure for who you are, nor do your actions define you as a person. However, for my daughter to do something extremely reckless, I blame myself for it. I failed you as a parent."

"It's not your fault." Cosette frowned as she lowered her eyes, pinching her pajama pants on her lap. "My actions are my decision, and it has nothing to do with my upbringing. My father raised me the best he could, and what I do with my life and my decision, whether they are good or bad, are solely my fault."

"Papa, I don't regret it." She raised her head once again, mustering a lifetime of courage to look him in the eye. "You welcomed Max in here because of me. You had a good intention."

For obvious reason, tears shone in her eyes as she looked back at Conrad. He may not be her 'real' father, but Cosette treasured him like a real one. Thus, although she didn't regret her actions towards Maxen, upsetting Conrad was also something she didn't wish to do.

She loved Conrad, and his opinion mattered to him. If he ended up blaming himself and seeing himself as a failure of a father, Cosette would forever blame herself for it.

Conrad studied her demeanor and noticed how she held her tears back.

"I'm not angry at you," he repeated just so she wouldn't have to cry.

"I know," her voice cracked, gulping the tension in her throat. "It's just... don't want to blame yourself, too. I can be a failure, but it's not your fault."

"How is that not my fault? I'm not saying you're a failure after kissing a man."

"But still... don't be sad." Cosette bit her lower lip, hoping by biting hard, would stop the tempting tears building in the corner of her eyes. "I don't want Papa to be sad."

His lips parted, but he shut them once again. How could he stay angry if his daughter was on the verge of tears? Conrad pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I'm not sad," he explained under his breath. "I'm just exhausted."

He opened his eyes once again, clearing his throat, and changing his mood with the usual blissful nonchalance. Conrad tapped his fingers against the armrest, shrugging under her gaze.

"Are you sure?" she inquired curiously.

"Yes." He rocked his head. "I'm just tired. Max had the worse timing."

Cosette bit her inner lip. "You know him. His conscience will eat him alive because he respects you so much."

"Will you not tell me if he didn't?"

"Well..."

"Cosette."

"I will," came out a weak voice, pouting slightly. "I mean, I won't now, knowing you're still busy with the company and stressed out. But I planned to confess what happened during the trip once you get more spare time and enough rest."

pAnD a(-)n0ve1.com There was a moment of silence in the room, with Conrad observing her. Cosette didn't seem like lying. Surely, she was smarter than Maxen in these things. Or rather, Maxen's conscience was probably not letting him sleep at night and he couldn't wait like Cosette.

"One question, Cozie." Conrad broke the silence that was reigning between them, waiting for her to return her full attention to him. He swallowed a mouthful of air, clearing his throat.

"Do you… like Max? As a man?" he inquired after a moment of silence, preparing his heart for her answer. Her brows rose at the question she didn't expect to hear tonight.

Cosette stared at Conrad for minutes, pursing her lips into a thin line, pondering his question thoroughly.

"Mhm," came out a weak hum, smiling subtly as she lowered her soft eyes. "Very much."