Chapter 363 A Place Where To Find It

"So don't be sad, Cosette. At least, don't let me know you are."

Cosette pressed her lips to stop them from stretching from ear to ear. Her communication with Asher was minimal because she had to consider Maxen's feelings. Still, hearing from Asher from time to time never ceased to put a smile on her face.

Asher had grown; he still sounded arrogant, but she could feel he had changed a lot.

"I guess that's a no," she mumbled, smacking her lips before closing the laptop on her desk.

Cosette didn't think much about it, expecting that Asher would decline her invitation. As she did so, Cosette cleaned up her desk to dispose of the unnecessary things. Graduating means the lesson she reviewed would be most like to be trashed in the future. It was better to clean up her study desk earlier, so she didn't have to think about it; not that there was anything she had to do today.

As she cleaned up her desk and emptied the drawers, Cosette paused as soon as she caught the journal in the drawer. Her lips curled up, putting away some notes in her hands, and picked up the journal.

Cosette held it with her hand, leaning back as she opened the first page. A chuckle slipped past her shut lips, staring at the crossed-out title she changed a year ago. But when her eyes fell on the smudged dark red color on the page, her smile lines slightly faded. She didn't dwell on it, though.

"It's funny that it's been three years since I started writing you," she whispered, flipping the pages while skimming through them. "But it wasn't even over yet… although I'm surprised it only took half of this journal to write three years."

But each page of this journal was meaningful.

Knock Knock.

Cosette blinked, turning her head, only to see the door opening ever so slowly. A subtle smile turned up on her face when her eyes fell on Maxen by the door.

"May I?" he asked.

"Do you need to ask?" she humored, chuckling. "Come in. I'm just cleaning up my desk since I don't think I will need them in the future."

"I see…" Maxen marched inside, stretching his neck to gaze over the desk. As soon as his eyes landed on the notebook she put down while throwing other things away, he couldn't help but speak about it. "You always keep that notebook with you."

"Huh?" she paused, gazing up as Maxen propped his side against the side of the desk.

Maxen folded his arms under his chest, jerking his chin toward the journal in front of her. "That one. I always see you holding it whenever I visit you or hiding it inside the locked drawer."

"Ahh…" Cosette bit her bottom lip, grinning. "It's a diary."

"I figured."

"In here, I put everything." She planted her palm on top of the journal, keeping her eyes on Maxen. "Do you want to read it?"

"No."

"Why? Aren't you curious about what's written in it?"

"I am, but I think that whatever's inside this journal is more personal than I can imagine." Maxen shrugged. "Also, it didn't seem you want me to read it."

There was a moment of silence between the two while they stared at each other.

"You're right." Cosette broke the prolonged silence, setting her eyes on the journal before her. "This journal contains stuff I am not ready to tell anyone. Maybe I will never be ready in this lifetime. BUT… when the time comes, I want you to read it."

She slowly raised her head back to him, smiling. "Someday, Max. I want you to read to for me."

"Read it for you?" Maxen cocked his head to the side, confused. She nodded at his question, so he asked again, "Why?"

"Because I want to know."

"Huh?"

"You don't understand that now, but someday." Cosette rocked her head. "Though at the back of my head, I wish that someday will never come."

"Cozie, you make me a little…"

"Nervous?"

"Sad."

"Why do I make you sad?"

"The way you word your sentiments," he pointed out. "It sounds like you're leaving. I don't like it."

"Haha. Where would I go? We haven't gotten married yet." Cosette shook her head, picking up the journal before raising it to show him the cover. "This journal is very important to me, Max. I don't want anyone to touch it or read it or do anything with it. But in the future, I might not have those feelings anymore. So I want you to read it when that happens."

Maxen assessed the smile dominating her face. Her words were strange, but it didn't look like she was sad or anything of the sort. Perhaps he was simply over-analyzing it, he thought.

"And when would I know when I can touch it or read it for you?" he asked, out of plain curiosity.

"You'll know." Cosette chuckled, hugging the journal securely. "But certainly not today. I'll keep my secrets with me for now."

"Cozie, you do understand that the more you want to keep things hidden, the more it piques one's curiosity."

"Don't peek!" She raised a finger, pointing at him. "No matter how curious you are, don't read it. Or else, I'll be really mad!"

"I'm just saying." Maxen raised his hands as a gesture of surrender. "I don't remember crossing boundaries, so don't worry."

Cosette narrowed her eyes, studying him. When she was certain Maxen was being sincere, she nodded in relief.

"That's right." Cosette slowly opened the drawer and placed the journal in it carefully. "I'll keep this in here for now… actually, I'll always keep this in here."

Maxen watched her lock the drawer while stressing that she would never put the journal anywhere. It was as if she was purposely telling him where to find it.

"Cozie," he called after she locked the drawer, waiting for her to look back at her. "Tomorrow is our graduation, right?"

"Mhm."

"And then, days after that, we will have a double celebration."

"Yep. My birthday and our graduation."

Maxen rocked his head, making her brows furrow.

"What about it?" she asked, intrigued. "Why did you ask?"

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"Nothing."