CH 21.4

You Can Stroke It Back (4)

His Moments* were utterly empty. Except for sharing some English songs, there wasn’t anything else. He appeared like someone who had only opened the account for three days.

*T/N:  Moments: Moments is a function of the smartphone app WeChat to share a post with friends and acquaintances.

But looking at it carefully again, it didn’t seem like that and every moment was separated by one or two months; this was clearly a lackluster person’s WeChat.

Ruan Qingmu scrolled for a long time and went from high-spirited to completely losing interest. When he raised his head, he saw that Qin Yuan was holding onto his phone and lightly scrolling his cell phone. Ruan Qingmu had no idea what he was looking at, but his expression was grave.

With the screen facing the other side, he couldn’t see what was on Qin Yuan’s phone.

Ruan Qingmu’s heart was slightly moved. He reached out his hand and shook it in front of his face. “You’re looking at my Moments, ah? Why do you look so enthralled?”

Qin Yuan quickly pulled his phone back and gave him a cold look. “…”

Why was this person so brazen? Was he so self-indulgent to become like this?

Ruan Qingmu let out a soft sigh. “It’s all in the past. I won’t post something like that again in the future.”

Qin Yuan silently put down his phone, turned his head, and arranged his pillow behind his head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Ruan Qingmu suddenly crawled over and picked up his pillow.

There were only two people in the dorm room and it was certainly not good to let their feet face other people’s heads. When they first moved in, they slept with their feets facing each other; Ruan Qingmu’s head was against the door and Qin Yuan’s head was against the window.

Ruan Qingmu arranged his pillow on the other side and let out a ‘hey’ at Qin Yuan. “I’m sleeping on this side. What about you?”

Although his tone was light, his eyes gleamed; the smile inside his eyes seemed to overflow and carried a slight arrogance. As if he was confident the opposite would move his head here as long as he said this.

Qin Yuan looked at him with a frown on his face. Suddenly, the dorm’s center light went out.

A chorus of usual wails came from the corridor. Some hurriedly rushed to the dorm at the last minute and someone vaguely let out, “Fuck, I haven’t even finished my homework yet.” Only their dorm room was exceptionally quiet.

In the darkness, a rustling sound came from Qin Yuan’s bed. Ruan Qingmu smilingly looked as Qin Yuan moved over his pillow and he lay down in satisfaction.

Lying flat on the bed, he opened his eyes. “Hey, Qin Yuan?”

After a long time, a slightly magnetic voice came out. “Mm?”

“I’m telling the truth.” Ruan Qingmu softly said, “Don’t take my past Moments seriously and don’t feel sad when you look at them.”

Qin Yuan listened silently.

“It would be good to die peacefully; living is the biggest suffering from being born; why would I still be called a murderer’s son even after my father had died – this way of thinking is already in the past.”

He had also slowly looked over this previous host’s remaining traces when he had nothing to do. Although he couldn’t genuinely empathize with him, he could still detect the depression and loneliness that was implied in the things that he had left behind.

He earnestly explained, “Ever since the car crash and after dying once, my way of thinking has changed. In the past, I felt my surroundings were so dark. But looking back now, I feel there is so much light beside the darkness.”

Qin Yuan let out a soft “mm” and said, “You are now… perfect like this.”

Ruan Qingmu silently laughed.

Sleeping head-to-head, that person’s voice was very close. It was like those days when they had lived and slept together several times in their previous life.

“Qin Yuan?”

“Mm.”

“Being alive is really good. I will live well. You don’t need to worry about me.”

Qin Yuan was silent for a long time. When Ruan Qingmu thought he was already asleep, his low voice sounded out loud, “I also don’t have a mother.”

Ruan Qingmu suddenly turned his head in surprise. He turned his head sideways and looked at the bed in front.

“She died when I was four years old.” The youth’s voice was calm as usual as if there was no emotion, but it was a little hoarse in the end. “Many people were doomed to be lonely when they were born. I better get used to it. It’s nothing extraordinary.”

Ruan Qingmu paused for a while, then slowly stretched his hand. He fumbled around, extended his hand below the mosquito net, and quickly stroked the opposite youth’s head.

It felt very nice. He thought the dense and thick hair would feel stiff, but it was soft and smooth, like someone’s skin.

“It won’t be.” He whispered, “You are excellent and handsome. You aren’t doomed to be lonely or anything like that.”

Qin Yuan seemed to be frozen. His muffled voice sounded after a long time, carrying a little unhappiness. “Don’t stroke my head.”

Ruan Qingmu suddenly stretched out his hand again and fiercely rubbed his hair. “Why so uptight?!”

Qin Yuan swiftly threw his head back. His breathing was a little short and it was not known if he was angry or startled. “You even rubbed it?”

“Can’t I rub it a few times?” Ruan Qingmu confidently said, “You’re not a girl.”

As he spoke, his outstretched wrist was hardly grabbed and slammed to the side, passing the bedside railing.

Qin Yuan climbed up with a roll and suddenly pushed aside both sides of the mosquito net.

He condescendingly pressed Ruan Qingmu’s hand, their touching skins were fiery hot. “Try to stroke it again!”

Ruan Qingmu threw his head back. His pair of beautiful eyes were like a slightly blooming peach blossom in the darkroom. “At worst, you can also stroke my head back.”
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