CH 124

Wall between Miyagi and — 124

Translated by KaiesV

Edited by KaiesV

I reach out to Miyagi.

I touch her black hair and comb it with my fingers.

I keep stroking her cheeks and running my fingers over her lips.

Miyagi doesn’t mind, but she doesn’t react either.

She always complain about this and that, but today she was quiet. I think she was being very honest because when I put my face close to her, she closed her eyes as if she was troubled.

We put our lips together and inserted our tongues.

She didn’t push my shoulders or bite my tongue. I was surprised when she suddenly became aggressive, but I also felt uncomfortable with the idea of Miyagi not disliking me. But if I say such a thing to her, she will definitely get angry, so I will keep it in my mind for now.

After a few kisses, I press my lips to her neck. Miyagi lets out a small gasp as I slide my lips over it without leaving a mark. I loosened her tie and removed it. I also unbuttoned one or two buttons on her blouse.

I kissed the top of her collarbone, and Miyagi squeezed my shoulder. But she doesn’t say no or stop, so I take off her blouse and push her down.

I knew.

This was such a dream.

Both from summer and winter vacation.

What happened during that time.

It is a dream mixed with various pasts.

What we wear are uniforms that we are tired of wearing and we don’t wear anymore. And I’ve had this kind of dream many times before I came here, and several times since I’ve been here.

I better get up early.

But I think I want to stay in the dream a little longer.

I bite lightly with my teeth on Miyagi’s shoulder.

It’s soft and I can feel her body heat.

But I’m not sure how soft she was, or how hot she was. All sensations blur and melt away.

「Miyagi…」

She didn’t answer when I called her.

I want to hear her voice, so I take off her underwear which is hiding her breasts.

Still, Miyagi remained silent.

She doesn’t say a word, not even when touched by my hand or my lips. From her quietness, only a clear and blurred feeling comes through.

I never touched her properly enough to remember, but I know that the part I touched was soft. The dream created by memory conveniently completes the unknown.

I remove her skirt.

Miyagi is still not averse.

I crawled my hand under the ribs, over the soft belly, and strokes the hip bone.

The underwear touched my hand and I hesitated.

I know it’s a dream, but I’m not sure if I should go further.

“Sendai-san,” she calls out in a pleading voice, advancing my hand.

There is no way the Miyagi I know would react this way, and she is not this straightforward. I know that there is no way that she would make a pleading sound.

I know that I know exactly what I’m doing, but I slowly put my hand inside her underwear.

And then…

And then——

And then————

My hand touched the phone, which made an electronic beeping sound.

「…Right.」

Sigh, exhale, and stop the alarm.

I put down the phone and press my hand against the wall, next to the bed.

Miyagi is behind this wall.

Maybe it shouldn’t be.

The distance between me and Miyagi is too close now.

We can at least reason to distinguish between what we are allowed to do and what we are not allowed to do, but we cannot control our dreams.

Now that we are living together, I understand that I should not do to Miyagi what I saw in my dream. However, I would be lying if I said I don’t want to do those things at all. I think it is because Miyagi is within my reach that I have such a dream.

「…This sucks, doesn’t it?」

This is not a good dream.

Even Miyagi would not have thought that there were people dreaming like this beyond the wall.

Maybe that’s why I feel like I had a very bad dream and want to curse myself.

I sit up and lie down on the bed again.

I don’t want to leave this room.

But I have to go to college.

I had already registered for classes and had a fixed schedule, and finally began to live like a college student. I can’t make a habit of taking time off now.

I lounge around long enough to say I’m sleeping twice, and then I’m ready to go. I crawl out of bed and open the chest.

If I’m going out into the common area, my pajamas are too rough. Maybe with time I won’t mind staying in my pajamas, but until that time comes, I’d like to dress a little more decently.

I remember when I stayed at Miyagi’s house.

That time I borrowed a sweatshirt from Miyagi. Maybe it would be easier to stop wearing pajamas and just wear a sweatshirt like Miyagi. That way, I feel like I don’t have to bother changing.

I decide to buy a sweatshirt in the near future and pull a blouse and flared pants from the chest. When I left the room after getting dressed, Miyagi was cooking breakfast.

When we eat dinner together, we are supposed to cook together, but it is not decided who will cook in the morning. Generally, the person who wakes up earlier gets to cook, and the person who doesn’t get to cook gets to wash up. Before I knew it, that was the rule.

Miyagi is not a good cook, but just the fact that it was made by someone other than me makes it taste good.

「Morning.」

I call out to Miyagi’s back.

「Morning.」

A morning when I say good morning, I get good morning back, and someone is making breakfast is not a bad thing.

——If only I hadn’t dreamt it.

Even though it wasn’t a dream I intended to have, it was an awkward day when I had a dream like that. I can’t look Miyagi in the face and I don’t know how I should spend time with her.

Before I came here, I was in a different class, and if I wanted to avoid seeing her, I could avoid seeing her until after school, so I could meet Miyagi in a better mood than now.

But it’s different from those days.

When I open the door, Miyagi is there. It’s next to impossible to meet Miyagi after an interval of time equal to from morning to after school.

「What are you making?」

Not feeling comfortable keeping quiet all the time because I couldn’t sort out my feelings, I called out to Miyagi, who was looking at the frying pan, but she didn’t answer me.

「Miyagi?」

When I called out her name, Miyagi still said nothing, and I began to worry about the quality of our breakfast.

I don’t think it looks very good right now.

I wouldn’t go near Miyagi if I could, but when I approached her because I was curious about her breakfast, I found something halfway between fried eggs and scrambled eggs on the pan.

「The egg yolk, did you crack it?」

「It cracked on its own.」

Miyagi replies in a whisper and turns her head toward me.

「Fried eggs and scrambled eggs are the same when they’re in your stomach.」

「That’s true, but…」

I feel Miyagi’s eyes on me, but I can’t make eye contact with her.

「I’m gonna go wash my face.」

With my back to Miyagi, I head for the washroom. From behind me, I hear a short reply, “Okay.”

Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in again.

By being conscious of what I usually do without being aware of it, I will feel a little calmer.

I wash my face and breathe in and out again.

Dreams are becoming more and more proportionate to what was not real and I don’t want to think about what will happen next. But if I worry about it forever, I will only think about my dreams, so I keep the dreams I have seen in the corner of my mind as much as possible. I can’t forget about it, but I try not to worry about it as much as possible.

I slap my cheek once and return to the dining room/kitchen.

「Breakfast is done.」

Miyagi’s voice makes me look at the table, and I see a plate and orange juice on it. The eggs seem to have been scrambled and the yolks and whites are mixed together. The wieners were grilled as well as the bread, and both were cooked just right.

As I sit down in my chair, I hear「Itadakimasu」from across the room. I do the same, saying「Itadakimasu」before eating what looks like scrambled eggs.

The rule of eating dinner together is being fulfilled in a way I had not considered. I had only said this if we could have dinner together, but Miyagi eats with me in the morning as well.

「Have you bought any manga lately?」

Still unable to make eye contact with Miyagi, I look for a suitable topic of conversation and speak up.

「I did.」

「Then lend me a manga. I’m sure there’s something interesting in there.」

「Anything?」

「As long it’s interesting.」

I bite into a piece of toast with butter and jam and look at Miyagi’s hand. A fork pricks the wiener and moves to my mouth.

「I never know if Sendai-san will find it interesting.」

I hear Miyagi’s frustrated voice and raise my gaze.

For a moment, our eyes meet and my heart beats just a little faster.

The idea comes to mind that she might let me in the room if I have the pretext of picking out a manga.

「Then let me choose directly.」

Today is a day when I don’t want to be too close to Miyagi.

However, it is not that I don’t want to get close to Miyagi at all. I’m curious to see what’s going on in the room and what kind of manga had been added there.

「…I’ll lend it to you, but I’ll be the one who’s choosing it.」

After saying this, Miyagi bit into a piece of toast.