CH 149

I want to be closer to Miyagi — 149

Translated by KaiesV

Edited by KaiesV

I won’t go into what happened on Sunday.

We didn’t make such an agreement, but neither Miyagi nor I have mentioned it once since we came home. We spent Friday and Saturday not talking about it, knowing that if we were going to continue living as before, it would be better not to mention it in an odd way.

But today I can’t help but be aware of it.

It has been exactly one week since that Sunday.

We are spending a new Sunday together.

「I’ll have a cup of tea, you want some?」

On the other side of the table, I call out to Miyagi, who is sitting quietly.

「Is it warm? Or cold?」

「Which one do you want to drink?」

「The cold one.」

「Then, I’ll serve you barley tea.」

I get up and prepare two glasses and put three ice cubes in each. A cool sound is heard as I take barley tea out of the refrigerator and pour it in.

「Here you go.」

I place one of the two glasses in front of Miyagi and sit down in my chair.

「Thanks.」

Miyagi says quietly and takes a sip of barley tea.

「You’re not going anywhere today?」

「Like I said yesterday, I’m not going out.」

Miyagi sounds unhappy.

I feel bad for asking her again and again, but it’s not what I had in mind for Miyagi’s behavior, which makes me want to check her again and again.

She even ran away from me and avoided me when I returned home

That’s what I thought, so I figured she would make up some appropriate reason, like going out with Utsunomiya on Sunday, and not be home in the morning. She sat in front of me without complaint.

Not that it isn’t awkward.

Sometimes, more than ever, I don’t know what to say. Surely, it was the same with Miyagi, where conversations are sometimes unnaturally interrupted.

Still, Miyagi didn’t run away and we spent Friday and Saturday as usual. Even today, we had breakfast together and just finished lunch.

「Speaking of which, what happened with Utsunomiya?」

Neither on Friday nor Saturday was there any mention of Utsunomiya from Miyagi’s mouth.

It is not likely that she will not see Utsunomiya at the university, and if she does, she will talk about us. If she did, she would have complained to me and said,「Sendai-san has done me a terrible disservice,」but she didn’t.

I didn’t ask her if there was something she didn’t want to tell me, but I was curious about the outcome of what I had been involved in.

「There’s nothing special happening.」

Miyagi says in a tone that makes me think something is wrong.

「If nothing has happened, that’s fine, but how did you explain us to Utsunomiya?」

「I lent you money, which led to Sendai-san teaching me how to study, but I was too embarrassed to tell her that you were teaching me, so I told her that I had kept quiet. I didn’t tell her we lived together because I told her I didn’t want to have to tell her about high school if I told her.」

Despite the footnotes, it is true that I taught Miyagi how to study. It would explain what she was doing after school, and as if to prove it, her grades at Miyagi went up.

But I think it is a little weak as a reason for keeping quiet.

「Utsunomiya, did that convinced her?」

「Subtle. I think we need to talk about this a little more properly sometime… I’m not sure where to begin.」

I know it would be harder to talk to people about Miyagi, who was ordering me around with money, than I was ordering her around with money.

「Well, I’m glad you’ve convinced her anyway.」

It’s only a postponement of the problem, but now we have no choice but to take advantage of Utsunomiya’s kindness.

「It’s not fine.」

「Why?」

「…Maika said she wanted to come visit me here.」

Judging by the weight of her mouth and the content, I believe this is the reason why Miyagi did not talk to me about Utsunomiya. And that must be why Utsunomiya chose to be convinced, even if the story is subtle.

「Why don’t you ask her to come?」

It’s like a condition that she gave instead of pursuing it in depth.

If that is to come here to play, then let her come.

「Impossible. She also said she wanted to talk to Sendai-san.」

「That’s good. I want to talk to her too.」

「…Sendai-san, do you want to talk to Maika?」

「She seems interesting and we might get along.」

I didn’t realize it in high school, but I think Utsunomiya is the type of person you can talk to and get along with. Even if she was not the type of people I get along with, I would like to thank her more firmly for her help with Miyagi.

「Are you going to be her friend?」

Miyagi said in a slightly low voice and stared at me.

Her brow was not wrinkled, but her gaze hurt.

「We could be.」

We even went to the same high school and were in the same class. And given that she was friends with Miyagi, who is my roommate, there is no reason why we should not be friends. The question is whether Utsunomiya wants to be friends with me, but since she wanted to come visit me at this house, she must be willing to be at least a little friendly with me.

「Sendai-san…」

Miyagi makes a hard voice.

Not a very good voice.

Thinking I was about to say a word I didn’t want to hear, I asked,「What is it?」 Miyagi spoke clearly.

「Maika is my friend.」

I don’t bother to be told, I know.

For Miyagi, Utsunomiya is a close friend.

It’s not fun because it seems to take that friend.

These feelings are understandable.

Understandable, but whether I can digest it in her own mind is another matter.

I am frustrated that Miyagi thinks I was so important to her that she doesn’t want to allow Utsunomiya and I to have any contact.

「She said she wouldn’t take it.」

I try to sound as cheerful as possible so that Miyagi does not feel the feelings I have inside of me right now.

I pick up my glass, wet with water droplets, and drink half a cup of barley tea.

The cold liquid goes down the throat and lowers the temperature of the body.

My damp hands are also cold.

But my head is not cold.

The inexplicable feelings I had felt for Utsunomiya until now.

I knew the name of this feeling, but I have always pretended not to know it.

I am jealous of Utsunomiya Maika.

I didn’t want to find myself jealous of the person who was closest to Miyagi and whom Miyagi saw most often. As much as I know Utsunomiya to be a good person, the thought that these feelings will haunt me for the rest of my life makes me feel heavy.

Because of my realization that I love Miyagi, things that I had pretended not to notice before are coming into view.

I let out a small breath.

It’s natural to think of friends as important.

I try to tell myself that, but my surging heart won’t calm down.

I exhaled once more and looked at Miyagi, and our eyes met as if it were a matter of course.

Since the day we returned home together, I feel that Miyagi has been looking at me more often.

「Sendai-san, I want more barley tea.」

Miyagi blurted it out to me and I looked at the glass, and before I knew it, there was nothing but ice. I get up and open the refrigerator. I took out a plastic bottle and poured barley tea into the empty glass next to Miyagi.

We push ourselves a little too hard.

Miyagi would have gone back to her room by now, but today she stayed with me without getting up from her seat. I too would rather touch Miyagi than a plastic bottle, but I haven’t.

I put the plastic bottle back in the refrigerator.

I don’t know what to do.

We are supposed to be deeper than we have ever been, but we are still roommates. I was the one who decided to leave the term “roommate” in place if Miyagi needed it, and although I am relieved at the unchanged relationship that we maintain despite the strain, I also feel frustrated.

My mind is cluttered and I’m not sure what I want to do. I’m trying to get it organized, but I don’t know where to start. Still, the only thing that is clear is that Miyagi is happy to be with me.

Even though we are roommates, I would like to be a little closer to Miyagi.

I sat down in my chair and drank some barley tea. Then I looked at Miyagi, searching for words to connect our interrupted conversation.