Sendai-san who is not my mine — 207
Translated by KaiesV
Edited by KaiesV
「So, what am I supposed to do?」
The quiet voice reminds me of what I did yesterday, and my heart thumps. I remember what I said yesterday that I want to erase from Sendai-san’s memory, and I put strength into the hand that gripped my clothes.
That was just something I said that I didn’t expect because Sendai-san didn’t come back very often.
Even if I regret it, there is nothing I can do about it now, and I will make up a reason that can convince myself to tell him.
Besides, memories fade with time.
It’s alright.
Even Sendai-san’s memory should fade, so she should eventually forget about yesterday.
「Here, flip through it yourself.」
I lightly tug at Sendai-san’s clothes, which are sitting next to me, to release them.
I don’t have to say anything extra today.
I’m just going to ask her to turn her clothes over a bit to see if there are any marks left, so nothing like yesterday will happen.
「Is this okay?」
Sendai-san turns up the hem of her dress without hesitation. But it is only a little, and I can only see two marks I made.
「More.」
I’m sure she heard me, but instead of turning over more, Sendai-san pulls down the hem of her clothes.
「I got it right, aren’t I? So, we’re done.」
「I wasn’t sure. Flip it properly.」
「No.」
「Why? Why don’t you do what I say?」
「It’s not a punishment, and it’s not mandatory, and I’ve shown you the marks, so be happy with that.」
Sendai-san says in an irresolute tone and holds her clothes before I can reach for them. It was hard to believe that she was the one who took off her clothes in front of me, took off her underwear, and showed her chest and stomach.
「Sendai-san, you said earlier that I could do whatever I wanted.」
I know it’s not a punishment and I know it’s not mandatory. But since Sendai-san said I can do what I want, she should maturely accept what I do.
「Do you really want to see the kissmarks that bad?」
「It’s not a kissmark. Just a mark.」
「Either way, I won’t show it to you again.」
Sendai-san says strongly, but I can’t accept such a statement now. She should take responsibility for her words and allow me to check more than just two marks, and if I want to touch her body, she should allow me to do that too.
I create a reason to touch the red marks and touch Sendai-san’s shoulder. Then I push her down with my weight.
「Ouch.」
With a mighty thud, Sendai-san’s back was on the floor, and a disgruntled voice could be heard.
「If you’re going to push me over, just say you’re going to push me over. It’s dangerous.」
Ignoring the voices I hear, I flip the hem of the knit she is wearing up to her chest and touch the red marks.
Next to her navel.
Above and below the ribs.
Near the flanks.
One by one, I stroke the marks I put on so many yesterday that it seems silly to count them. My fingertips touch her bra and I wonder if I should take it off. I stroke the edge of the lace covering her chest, and Sendai-san tries to catch my hand.
「Don’t move.」
「Miyagi, you think I’ll do whatever you say if you say it strongly enough.」
「I won’t flip it any more, and I won’t take your underwear, so just do as I say.」
Gently touching her chest over her knit, Sendai-san grumbled.
「Do you think I’ll listen?」
「Just listen.」
I say strongly and press hard on the red marks.
By checking the marks on Sendai-san, I want to confirm the Sendai-san that only I know. I don’t want even Sendai-san to get in my way of doing so.
「…The part you see now, I’m just going to touch it.」
With a resigned voice, the strength leaves Sendai-san’s body.
On her body, I follow the trail slowly once more.
With my fingertips, I stroke the smooth skin and stamp the mark I made with the tip of my fingernail. I pressed my palm against the red mark to cover it and take away Sendai-san’s body heat.
The marks dotting the white skin are also on areas hidden by clothing.
I remember where I put my lips yesterday, and stroke the spot where the mark should be on her clothes. I follow the invisible marks as if I were retracing my memory, and crawl my fingers again to the clearly visible marks on the side of her body.
I feel that I’m still in Sendai-san’s body yesterday, both in the red marks that I can see and in the marks that I can’t see. The mark on my skin in the light is so red that it won’t fade for a while. But, wanting to leave more of me before it fades, I bring my lips to the red mark.
I bite lightly on the area above the navel and then suck hard.
I really want to put it on a place where everyone can see it.
I am hoping to put a mark on her back that I didn’t put on yesterday.
If possible, I would like to bury Sendai-san with my marks.
I would like to leave a mark so that if someone were to look at Sendai-san’s body, they would know that she already belongs to someone else, so that when someone sees Sendai-san, they would immediately remember who she belongs to.
I am out of my mind to want to keep others in bondage like this. I know I am crazy, but I can’t help it, and I make one new mark on Sendai-san’s body.
I put my lips on her stomach, in different places. After the fourth mark, Sendai-san said quietly.
「Miyagi, you said you just want to watch, right?」
「Where it was about to disappear, I just put it back on.」
I look up and answer, and I hear a slightly lower voice.
「When I looked at it this morning, there were no fading marks, and now you’ve made new ones, right?」
「Now it was about to disappear, so I just put it back on and added more while I was at it.」
「You know, you told me that if I broke my promise to call you if I was going to be late, you would put it back on. I didn’t break my promise today.」
「Since you’re so lucky, why not one or two more?」
Then I sucked hard under the ribs and made another mark.
「It’s not just one or two. There’s more now, too.」
「…Sendai-san, what’s up today?」
I ask Sendai-san, who unusually doesn’t hide her dissatisfaction.
「What’s up, what do you mean?」
「You usually don’t like it so much when I do something.」
I stroked the red mark on her side hard and looked at Sendai-san and she grabbed my hand. Then, she stripped my hand off her stomach just like that.
「Sendai-san, you were so obedient earlier, but suddenly you’re not so obedient. What does this mean?」
Sendai-san exhaled at the sound of my voice and fixed her mended clothes. Then, she raised her body and embraced me as I straddled her legs.
「Miyagi. Did you have a dream yesterday?」
Sendai-san says in a whispered voice.
「All of a sudden, what?」
「Tell me if you had any strange dreams.」
I know what kind of dream Sendai-san is talking about.
It’s the dream I had, the dream in which I told Sendai-san what I saw yesterday. She must have remembered it and asked me about it.
「…Strange?」
Not wanting to solidify Sendai-san’s memory, I ask her a question, and she responds with words that are different from the answer to my question.
「I saw it. So this is the kind of thing that bothers me.」
I can’t see what she looks like, but I can feel her body heat from her attached body.
「I didn’t mean it that way.」
「I know, but I feel that way about you.」
Sendai-san’s hand slips inside my clothes.
She strokes my waist, her fingertips tracing my spine.
Every movement of her body heat sends more than a tickle from the surface of my body.
「You should feel that way, too, Miyagi.」
「It won’t be. That’s not what a roommate does.」
I pushed Sendai-san’s shoulder and her body moved away from me, and I finally saw her face.
「So what you were doing earlier is what roommates do, Miyagi?」
When she said this in a soft voice, she looks at me with a very serious expression.
「…Yes, but.」
「Then that means I’m allowed to do it too, right?」
Her hand begins to move, softly stroking my side and pressing her palm against it. Caught off guard by the body heat coming from her tightly clasped hands, she bites my shoulder over my clothes and I push her harder.
「Sendai-san can’t do it.」
「Why? I’m the only one who’s being marked. That’s weird.」
「It’s not weird.」
「I could at least put one on.」
「No.」
「Then let me touch you.」
I don’t know what “then” is, but when Sendai-san tries to turn my clothes around, I catch her hand and assure her.
「Sendai-san, I don’t like the way you touch me.」
「What is it that makes you feel that way, but I don’t feel that way?」
It’s not that I don’t feel that way at all.
Sendai-san’s hand feels good, and the reason that should reject her tries to relinquish its role. Her body heat tries to get in through the cracks of reason that aren’t doing their job, widening the gaps and ripping reason to shreds.
I have been that kind of me in the past, and I did something on Sendai-san’s bed that felt good, embarrassing, and something I will always remember.
I still remember that day and am thirsty, even though I just had a glass of orange juice.
If I repeat something like that over and over again, I won’t be able to be myself. Even now I don’t know exactly what I want to do, and I’m even more confused.
「Miyagi, don’t let go of your reason.」
I hear a voice that sounds like it has looked inside my head, and I exhale softly and quietly.
My body is hot.
I’m not sure what I want to happen with Sendai-san.
I don’t know where I want to go.
I said I wanted to still be roommates, but I’m not sure if I chose the right words.
I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m so eager for Sendai-san to stay with me.
「Sendai-san.」
When I call out in a small voice, and it comes back with「What is it?」
I let go of her grip and let my fingers crawl over Sendai-san’s earrings.
「If you don’t go anywhere for a long time, you can do whatever you want to do, Sendai-san.」
「I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying right here.」
Sendai-san hugs me and tells me a lie.
「Will you stay here and not work part-time or go to college?」
There is no way you can do that.
Sendai-san goes to college and even works part-time.
I don’t go to a part-time job, but I go to college.
It’s impossible for both of us to be here without going anywhere.
As if to prove it, Sendai-san said nothing.
I push our attached bodies apart and bite Sendai-san’s lip. I lick off a little blood, biting hard enough to scratch her teeth.
「Miyagi, that hurt.」
Her flat voice is heard.
It hurts me too.
I felt pain even though there was no wound.
