CH 7.2

Come to think of it, Yeon Woojeong may not be rich because the house and car were all bought by that old man. Although it looked like he didn’t spend money since he didn’t go out much on weekends and didn’t eat well, I shouldn’t spend money on useless things. That reminds me, what kind of family did he grow up in? I never heard him talking about his family. I got quite curious as I realized it, but I couldn’t ask him. It would be troubling if my family was also brought up. 

I paid for the book and walked out. I entered the house, then I put the book on the coffee table, and turned on the TV. Should I have dinner? Should I just hold back and eat what Yeon Woojeong buys later at night? He might not buy a meal, but snacks, so I should just eat. I’ll have Yeon Woojeong’s lunchbox. The portion is small, so it’ll be good.

I took out the lunch box from the freezer, then I opened the microwave.

—Ihwa-dong, Jongno-gu, Seoul. From the outside, it is an ordinary alley where houses are gathered.

I turned my head as I heard the words said clearly. The voice from the TV was heard slowly. I put down the lunch box on the sink as if dropping it down. 

—Five children live in a small house of about 15 pyeong. Two of them are intellectually disabled.

The reporter’s voice rang from the living room. I slowly moved my feet. On the blurred screen, a scenery inside a familiar house was unfolding.

—The Seoul Metropolitan Police Agency’s Children and Youth Division arrested 38-year-old Mr. Lee on charges of exploiting children in ways such as making children work and stealing allowances paid to them while operating an unreported welfare facility.

My ears were deafened. Clomp! Clomp! Clomp! The sounds of my steps were heard loud. After wearing the padding jacket I left on the sofa, I dashed out the door and went outside.

I ran to the main road. I waved to the approaching taxi several times, but I couldn’t easily grab it. Stomping my foot on the ground, I tore off my fingertips.

“Ouch.”

The blood seeped out from where I tore the hangnail. I sucked my fingertip, then I tore it off again. As soon as the taxi stopped, I opened the backseat door and got in.

“To Ihwa-dong.”

I couldn’t calm down even though I looked at the peaceful scenery outside the window. I took out my phone, trying to call Yeon Woojeong, but then I left it off. It said police, not prosecutors. Yeon Woojeong may have no idea about this. Because I didn’t say anything at all back then.

… Did I? What if I did? What if Yeon Woojeong then made them take Lee Sugeol?

Why didn’t he tell me? I must be wrong. There was nothing to say because he didn’t do it. There was a metallic taste inside my mouth. I took my finger out of my mouth, then I made a fist.

The neighborhood is the same, but it may be a different place. It could just happen to be overlapped… The numbers in the watch I looked down involuntarily were flashing loudly. I pressed down the watch with my palm.

The taxi got into a familiar place. I explained to the driver who asked me where to go. Then, I rushed out as soon as I paid the fare when the taxi stopped.

I ran up the hill. I thought I would never step into this place again. The gloomy neighborhood no longer evoked any sentiment. I only, hoped it would not change.

I was breathless as I finished walking up. The stone steps under a red street lamp. After staring at it for a while, I slowly took my steps.

Arriving before a door with peeled-up paint, I reached out to the doorknob. What if Lee Sugeol is inside? If the news was wrong, and Lee Sugeol is inside, I would probably die for real this time. Holding my breath, I tried to listen attentively, but there was nothing heard from inside. My heart beat anxiously. My mind scattered away, but I slowly opened the door.

The door opened easily. There was nothing at the entrance. Originally, small, old shoes were supposed to be tangled together. The entrance was dirty. Footprints were everywhere as if people had stepped on the floor without taking off their shoes.

I walked inside without making any sound. The small living room that appeared after a short hallway was dark that I couldn’t see. I touched the wall and turned on the switch. There was no one in the living room under the turned-on light. There was no one even in the kitchen, bathroom, and rooms.

This was a space that was always noisy outside the day for Lee Sugeol’s visit. The kids sang weird songs that were out of tune, laughed at nothing, and ran around. As the annoying space that was always noisy was completely quiet, it didn’t feel like a place I knew. I felt odd. I took a look at the dreary space and slowly came out.

Was Lee Sugeol really arrested by the police? If so, what happened with the kids? What if they went to a strange place? There is no way they went to a good place. What if Lee Sugeol comes back? I heard he has connections with the police. He would surely come out. The kids certainly went to a strange place and would get caught again.

There was nothing I could do. I went downhill. The wind was cold. I walked to the bus stop, waited for the bus, and I caught sight of my sneakers when I looked down. Not old, not too small, not too big, and clean sneakers.

After looking down for a while, the bus arrived, so I got in.

What if, what if Yeon Woojeong…

If Yeon Woojeong caused this. Then, did he find out? That I lived by stealing pockets? That I was hit by Lee Sugeol? That I lived in that kind of place?

My hands couldn’t stay still. My fingertips were red because I had plucked out all the hangnails, and now there was nothing left to tore.

I must be wrong. There is no way he would do that without telling me anything. I swallowed my breath. My chest was stuffy. There is nothing I could do, anyway. The moment I left that place, my connection with those kids ended as well.

I returned to the officetel. A bright, high, nice place. I looked up at the square building that somehow felt foreign and went inside.

It seemed like Yeon Woojeong had yet to get home. The wet lunch box was left alone in the kitchen. I put it back in the freezer, then I sat on the sofa.

When I turned off the TV because the sound was noisy, the silence weighed down on my head heavily. It was unpleasantly hot inside my chest. I kept making and relaxing my fists.

My thoughts were jumbled up, and because there were a lot of them, I couldn’t do anything. I fiddled with my fingers, then I saw myself inside the black screen. A long time passed, and I heard the sound of the door opening.

I slowly turned my head. Yeon Woojeong walked inside. He walked this way with a smile.

“What are you doing? It’s quiet.”

Yeon Woojeong put down a shopping bag on the table, and another one on the floor, then he sat next to me. There was ‘Gomtang’ written on the shopping bag.

“Have you had your dinner? Would it be too much for you to eat this?”

“Mr. Yeon.”

My voice was hoarse. There is no need for Yeon Woojeong to tell me if he doesn’t know. However, I kept getting a strange hunch. That night, what did I say when I was high in fever? 

“Mhm.”

“I saw the news… and it said Lee Sugeol is arrested.”

“…”

“Do you know anything?”

The smile slowly disappeared from Yeon Woojeong’s face. I clenched my fingers inside. My chest swelled up, then shrunk.

“Did you do that?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

Yeon Woojeong tilted his head. I got impatient because of his slow answer. Since when did he work on it? When he was so busy that he practically worked overtime every day? Then, why didn’t he tell me?

“Why did you do that?”

“I have no reason to not do that.”

“What are you?”

Yeon Woojeong closed his mouth. As I scratched my fingertips, his gaze moved to my hands. I slapped away the hand that tried to hold my hand. He heaved a sigh after bobbing up his eyebrows.

“If you’re worried about retaliation, you don’t have to. The investigation was conducted by the police, and although it is under the jurisdiction of our district prosecutor’s office, the other prosecutor other than me will be in charge.”

“It wasn’t that bad there.”

“…”

“That place was home for the kids.”

His eyes slowly looked at my face. I couldn’t bear that gaze. Yeon Woojeong must know everything. He must see everything. How far did he find out? Will he sympathize with me, or will he despise me? I hated the former more than the latter. I just… wanted to be normal.

“The children moved to another facility. There—”

“What’s the difference between those places? Lee Sugeol didn’t hit them. He also gave them food, and even though it wasn’t well-off, it was fine. He didn’t interfere, and they were free and happy when there was no Lee Sugeol.”

Yeon Woojeong turned silent. That silence made my chest even hotter. I crumpled my face.

“Where is that place? Is that place fine? There was a kid who ran away to another place and that place contacted him, so he was dragged back. What’s different about other places?”

“That’s it. Getting dragged back for going to another place. That is the problem.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. There are always sick bastards everywhere. What if Lee Sugeol comes out? What will he do then? That bastard said he knows some policemen. Do you think the police do their job properly? It seems like they are pretending to do their work because you said something, but I bet they won’t. If we reported him, they would listen to Lee Sugeol saying it was nothing and he would come back. Those are the cops.”

I was out of breath. I thought this was wrong somewhere inside my head, but an unknown emotion drove me. It felt like it grabbed my ankles and pulled me