Chapter 51

51 Just Once Think About My Feelings

“Kalea?”

“Mrs. Linda, long time no see,” Kalea said politely with a faint smile.

“My goodness, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen you. How are you, Lea?” Linda asked so kindly. The woman with short hair in her forties was Kalea’s neighbor.

“Pretty good, how are you, Mrs. Linda?”

Linda laughed softly as she patted Kalea’s shoulder lightly. “I’m good too. It seems you don’t live with your mother? Your house is always dark from the outside,” Linda said curiously. Whenever she passed Lovaata’s residence, it was always quiet and it seemed as if there was no life in it.

“Ah ... I got a place to live closer to where I work. So sometimes I’ll go home to see mom,” Kalea replied, with a logical reason. Linda nodded her head in understanding, she finally understood the reason why it was rare to see a girl with brunette hair who often quarreled with her mother.

“And your mother ... never leaves the house at all, does she?” Linda asked again, as if she was digging for more information.

“Mom hasn’t been out of the house for a long time, Mrs. Linda,” Kalea replied with a stiff smile.

“Ah, you’re right. Even though it’s only a step or two from the door, huh. Her voice has never been heard. Even though you two fought quite often before, I was often worried about your condition, dear,” Linda said so sadly. Everyone who lived there knew how the Kalea family was doing. The area where Kalea lives is not an elite area, from house to house it is quite close so that neighbors often hear screams for mercy or broken goods when Freya is torturing Kalea. However, no one dared to help the girl.

.....

Everyone seemed to close their eyes, only looking at Kalea with a pity face. They just told Kalea to be patient. Kalea didn’t expect any help from them either, she had endured all the suffering she had experienced since childhood, to be precise, since her father left them both.

“Have you two made up??” Linda asked again.

Kalea smiled faintly, the woman who was now in front of her was also one of the people who still let Freya torture her when Linda saw it with her own eyes. The woman immediately went back into the house and didn’t want to interfere with Freya’s family problems. Kalea understands, they are afraid. However, when she was a child, she really needed an adult but her neighbors didn’t want to help at all. Kalea knew that Linda was just asking small questions or wanting to get information that she could share with other neighbors. Kalea was used to it when her family matters became the subject of people’s talk.

“Yeah, Mrs. Thank you for worrying about me,” Kalea replied politely and gave a slight bow. “Then I’ll excuse myself.”

“O-oh is that so? All right.”

Kalea stepped back towards the house. Arriving there, as Linda said that the house was very dark and there was no light at all from the outside. The girl went inside and didn’t find the whereabouts of the mother. One by one, she turned on the lights. In the TV room, bedroom, or kitchen, Freya was not there. Kalea put her groceries on the dining table, she didn’t expect that the kitchen was not as dirty as the last time she came there.

Kalea walked towards the small garden at the back of the house, and it turned out to be as expected. Freya was there. The woman’s gaze was empty looking at the sky filled with stars, accompanied by alcohol that never left Freya’s grasp.

Seeing her mother made Kalea remember the old days. When she was a child, Freya was still a loving mother. They always have a BBQ or a New Year’s Eve party with Dad.

‘Are you nostalgia here?’ Kalea thought.

The girl approached her mother with a pounding heart. “Mom, I’m home.”

Freya turned to Kalea, the only child she had. She didn’t respond and looked back at the sky.

“Mom ... have you eaten?” Kalea asked. However, again Freya didn’t answer. Kalea smiled bitterly, she would still make dinner for the two of them.

Kalea rolled her shirt up to her elbows, she would tidy up the house and cook at lightning speed. Don’t underestimate Kalea’s ability to take care of the household, she has been doing it since she was little. After the house was clean and shiny again, without the slightest rest she immediately cooked some of her mother’s favorite foods. Freya’s favorite food was once made, but her mother tortured her. Because it turned out that the food made Freya remember Kalea’s father again.

Finally, Kalea once asked Freya’s grandmother and aunt about what her mother’s favorites were that her father had not known. Cream soup, one of Freya’s favorite foods since childhood, and only her mother’s family know about it. Kalea always tries to make her mother not remember her father anymore. Although it is still difficult because Kalea’s face is similar to that of the father who has left them and prefers his mistress.

Kalea wiped the sweat off her forehead, she smiled contentedly to see that dinner was ready. She took her to the back garden because Freya was still there.

“Mom, let’s eat first,” Kalea said as she handed the cream soup in front of Freya. The woman did not refuse, her gaze shifted to the food because it smelled very good. Freya slowly grabbed a spoon and scooped it into the soup. A sweet smile grew on Kalea’s beautiful face, she was happy when Freya ate her food voraciously.

Kalea misses her mother and feels guilty for forgetting that she is alone at home. She was grateful that Freya didn’t think about ending her life and leaving Kalea alone in this world. Kalea doesn’t know how her life will be if her mother is gone. Because Freya is the only family she has left, even though her mother is no longer the same.

Freya’s grandmother had died long ago, and the relatives of her mother lived quite far away. Meanwhile, my father’s family no longer considers Kalea and Freya to exist. It was as if they agreed with the man’s infidelity.

“Mom,” Kalea called while they were still busy with their respective meals. “Shall we go somewhere? Is there a place you want to visit? Or maybe you want to buy clothes and a bag?” Kalea asked with a smile.

In all her life, she had never asked Freya to go anywhere, either shopping or eating out. She kept working hard, but the money was never enough to do that. Even for daily needs, she is still very difficult. Because of that, once Kalea wanted to make her mother happy.

Freya was silent, she put down her spoon. Staring at Kalea flatly. “Looks like you already have a lot of money, huh. You even forgot about me,” Freya quipped with a scornful smile. The girl’s smile slowly faded, and she looked down deeply. Realizing her mistake, it turns out that Freya realized that she had not come home for almost a month. “You can take me out for a walk already, no alcohol fights. What work are you doing there?” asked Freya.

Kalea’s body trembled, she didn’t expect that Freya would ask about it. She thought her mother really wouldn’t care about her life anymore as long as the money kept flowing for Freya. However, Kalea’s guess turned out to be wrong.

“Being ... a company employee ...” Kalea replied quietly. Of course, she was lying.

“Oh,” Freya said curtly and coldly. She went back to eating her food leaving Kalea still looking down in fear. “If you have a lot of money, instead of bothering to ask me out, you better use it for plastic surgery so your face doesn’t look like that bastard anymore,” Freya said without caring how her child felt right now when Kalea heard the words that came out of the mouth of a mother who was very much loved by Kalea.

It’s hurt. It was as if a large rock had hit Kalea. The girl bit her lower lip, holding back tears even though her eyes were already hot and teary. Even though she just wanted to make her mother happy, and treat Freya well but Freya still thought about her father.

Couldn’t Freya see Kalea the slightest thing? Seeing her struggles as a child who wants to make her mother happy so she can forget that man? How many years will Kalea have to wait, how long will she have to fight so that Freya loves her again? Can’t they be a happy family even if it’s just the two of them?

“But since you’re only an employee, your money won’t be enough to do it. Forget it, giving me the money to buy alcohol is enough,” Freya said. The woman had not looked at the child for a long time, because of her hatred for Kalea’s face.

“If ... if I change my face, will Mom love me back?” Kalea asked in a trembling voice. “Is that really going to happen?”

“You really have a lot of money, huh?” Freya asked, looking at Kalea who was still looking down.

“I-I’ll try to get it, if it will make our relationship good again,” Kalea replied, subconsciously clenching her fists. Holding half to death so as not to cry in front of the mother.

This is probably the hardest request from her mother. Maybe because Kalea no longer worries about money for Freya’s needs, this time the woman asked her own child to change her face so that she doesn’t look like her ex-husband.

“It’s up to you, that’s if it works. Otherwise, you better not come here too often. I even forgot to have a daughter, at least I almost forgot about your bastard father,” Freya said very curtly and looked away before dinner was completely finished. The woman left her daughter alone there.

Kalea closed her eyes, feeling the tears starting to roll down her cheeks. “Sorry, I haven’t been able to make you happy, Mom ...” Kalea whispered, even though Freya wouldn’t hear the apology. Kalea looked at the dinner she had made with great affection, she smiled bitterly.

It turned out that her mother was actually happy when she did not come home.

“If I wasn’t in the world, would you be happy?”