Chapter 52 - FIFTY TWO: Saving Grace

Loyalty.

Kel's blind loyalty to the Mevani crown. 

Barclay's compulsory loyalty to his subordinates.

Dash's resolute loyalty to his duty.

The idea that a person would sacrifice everything for something they believed to be greater than themselves.

"What a useless concept," Kel scoffed, pressing firmly against the stone.

With a rumble, a portion of the wall slid back, revealing a small opening.

Kel took a deep breath, curling her fingers into her sweating palms. She kept her back to the emperor, refusing to let him see the torment she was sure was written all over her face, and stepped through.

The room was furnished with a single cot and small wooden table, on top of which a glowing lantern cast a dim orange light onto the walls and floor.

The only visible entrance to the room, not including the moving wall Kel had just entered from, was a large iron gate, sealed with a chain and padlock.

The conditions were certainly better than a dungeon, but it was clear that Barclay was locked up like a prisoner.

As the wall rumbled shut behind her, Kel slowly approached Barclay, who sat on the cot, propped up against the wall.

"K-Kel?" he coughed, his voice far too saturated with pain to hold any surprise. "Ah, I mean.. Prin..cess."

"Shh, it's alright," Kel soothed. "We're the only ones here."

Barclay nodded, too exhausted to reply.

'His organs are shutting down.' The emperor's voice echoed in her head. 

On the outside, Barclay looked fine, a little sleep-deprived at worst. Judging by the raspy breaths he labored to take and deep barking cough, however, his insides must be a total mess.

Kel suspected that if the light had been any brighter, she'd witness blood spatters coating the cot and surrounding floor, hacked up from Barclay's failing lungs. She also might see how pale and clammy his skin was, or how it sloughed off with even the slightest pressure.

"H-hold.. on," Barclay said hoarsely as he clumsily rummaged through his outer tunic. 

With shaking hands, he pulled out a small vial. 

"This.. this.. is.." he tried to explain, coughs rattling his large frame again.

"Don't strain yourself!" Kel urged, dropping to her knees in front of the cot. 

Barclay grimaced as he downed the contents of the bottle. When it was empty, he let it clatter to the floor, slumping his shoulders.

"They tell me it's a mixture of henbane flower, hemlock root and poppy seed oil," he croaked, wiping away the excess residue from the sides of his mouth.

"Hemlock…" Kel trailed off, gingerly reaching for the vial. A few pale green droplets were left clinging to the sides. "Isn't that poisonous?"

"I don't really care if it is," Barclay sighed, closing his eyes. "It takes the edge off."

How painful it must be, Kel thought. The fact that Barclay was both conscious and coherent was a testament to the man's incredible strength. Though, he probably would have welcomed the blessing of madness at this point.

After allowing the tonic to take effect for a few moments, the strong man chuckled bitterly. "I guess this is where it ends for me, isn't it?"

"Don't say things like tha-"

"Did you come to say goodbye?" he cut her off.

"I came to.." Kel paused, taking a deep breath.

"..?"

"To take pity on you," she finally muttered, gagging at the acrid taste on her tongue as she repeated the emperor's sickening words.

"To put me out of my misery?" Barclay retorted bluntly, the corners of his mouth twitching as if he were amused. "With what?"

"Ah," Kel reached behind her neck and unclasped the necklace. "With this."

"What is it?" Barclay squinted at the shimmering jewel as Kel held it up.

"It's a pearl, but if you crush it.. well, you know." Kel explained timidly. 

"... Where did you get it?" Barclay questioned.

"Back in the forest, when we were first captured," Kel said softly, "Dash gave it to me for you."

"Dash, huh?" Barclay shook his head.

"I didn't think the day would.. would really come where I'd have to-" Kel's voice caught in her throat, tears welling in  her eyes.

She vividly remembered the horror she'd initially felt at the thought of ever using this pearl. Somewhere along the way, however, she'd let her guard down. 

Instead of hanging it up and forgetting about it, she should have been preparing herself--reminding herself daily that her life, and Barclay's life, wasn't guaranteed. 

That these hideous pearls might, in reality, be their saving grace.

"So the Dragon Emperor let you keep something like that around?" Barclay raised an eyebrow, flicking his eyes away from Kel's tears.

"I-I thought he didn't know," Kel choked.

"From your tone, it sounds like he does know then." Barclay snorted. "Was he waiting to stuff it down your throat himself?"

Kel bit her lip. "I don't think he woul-"

"You don't know what he would and wouldn't do!" Barclay exclaimed, grabbing at his chest as a violent fit of coughing overtook him.

"I didn't mean to upset you," Kel faltered, hanging her head. 

Barclay was only pointing out the obvious, so why had she gotten defensive? Until now, she hadn't been in the right mind to properly consider the fact that the emperor knew the true character of the necklaces. It didn't make sense to leave such dangerous objects in the possession of an enemy hostage.

"You were almost killed that day," Barclay continued softly as his coughing let up. "I couldn't stand it. That's why I followed you."

"You mean the reason you were there," Kel gulped, "was because you were worried about me?"

"I don't trust every tall handsome man I see," Barclay joked in a raspy voice, "unlike a certain naive princess."

Leaning his head back against the wall, he let out a sigh. "How was I supposed to know that man had guards crawling everywhere?"

A heavy silence settled over them.

Now that Kel knew the truth, she was racking her brain, unproductively imagining ways she could have prevented this.

Maybe if she had stopped to inform Barclay beforehand that she was going with the emperor?

Though with Barclay's suspicions, he likely would have followed them anyway.

She shouldn't have gone with him in the first place. No, she should have never been so focused on finding a suitable training spot in the first place.

In the end, it was her own selfishness, chasing after powers she didn't even fully understand, that put her comrade in this situation.

"You know, Kel," Barclay spoke up, "I don't have any regrets left. I thought I would, especially with leaving my nephew like this, but I don't."

He paused for a moment, staring into the dim light with glossy, unfocused eyes. 

"I'm ready to die."