Chapter 53 - FIFTY THREE: Set Me Free

"The empire cremates the deceased, right?" Barclay wondered aloud, either oblivious or indifferent to Kel's distress.

"Barclay."

"Do you think they'll send what's left of me back to Mevani?" 

"Barclay, stop."

"It's funny," he continued, too light-heartedly for a man more dead than alive. "In the end this is how I'll finally get to go home."

"Barclay! Please!" Kel screeched, covering her ears with her hands. "I can't take any more!"

"No, you have to take more." Barclay said slowly, gazing solemnly at Kel's crumpled figure. "More and more. Because that's what it means to be alive."

"I don't want to be alive then!" Kel cried. "I wish it was me instead of you!"

"But it's not you," Barclay chided her softly. "So you have to keep living, Kel."

Unable to hold back her sobs any longer, Kel laid her head on the cot at Barclay's feet. She bit her tongue to keep herself from wailing as waves of despair washed over her body.

"I'm sorry," she whimpered. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be," Barclay whispered, laying a rough, blood-stained hand tenderly against Kel's hair, "because I'm going to ask you to do one more hard thing as well."

Kel glanced up, tears still streaming down her cheeks. "What do you mean?"

"That." Barclay nodded the fist Kel had clenched around the pearl. "I can't do it myself."

One by one, Kel rolled her fingers back, revealing the bright gem. Then, as if it were a giant bug in her hand, she shook it off in disgust.

"I won't!" she insisted, scooting back as the pearl bounced across the cot.

Barclay stared at the poisonous bead for several moments before looking back at Kel.

"I know it's selfish of me, but please. You do it," he pleaded. "So I can keep my honor until the very end."

"You won't have to worry about some foolish honor because I won't send you off," Kel huffed. "How could you ask me to do something like this?"

"Isn't this why you came here?" Barclay replied in a low voice.

"No! I mean.. well.." Kel stammered, trying to make sense of her scattered thoughts. "They said there's no cure. I just wanted to help, but…"

"But it's too hard to help your dying comrade?" Barclay filled in, wincing as he tried to readjust himself.

"I'm saying you can't just give up!!" Kel cried. "I'll find another way to help!"

"A strong warrior never stops fighting," Barclay recited thoughtfully, "but a wise warrior knows when he's beat."

Hot tears stung at Kel's swollen eyes again as she realized that she'd lost. No matter how much she fought it, she knew deep down that this was the end for Barclay. 

"How can you spout off useless adages at a time like this?" she sniffled.

"I'm tired, Kel. I'm beat," Barclay murmured, sliding the necklace across the surface of the cot toward her. "Consider this the final order from your superior, and set me free."

Kel wanted to protest more, but the hollow look in her friend's eyes stopped her. Even if she wanted to keep fighting, Barclay had already given up.

With quivering lips, Kel reluctantly raised one of her hands squarely in front of her nose, holding it completely flat. The tips of her fingers stood in a perfect line, protruding out from between her eyes, as if dividing her face into two equal halves.

She formed her other hand into a loose fist and placed it against her open palm, so that the left side of her mouth was hidden from view.

"I have received your order, Sir," she stated, tilting her head forward until the bridge of her nose brushed against her thumb.

It was a Mevanian bow to show respect to the very highest officials. Kel had performed it many times in front of the king of Mevani, standing in a grand golden hall with her sword hanging at her side.

Not one of those times, however, had the gesture felt as sacred as it did when a trembling fake princess offered her final respects to her bloodied and bowed commanding officer.

"Thank you for staying with me when everyone else had abandoned me," Kel whispered, ripping a small square from the hem of her dress.

Gently, she slid the pearl off it's chain and laid it in the cloth. After wrapping it securely, she walked over and placed it on the small round table next to the lantern. With a single blow, she felt the pearl shatter beneath her hand.

She carefully took the bundle back into her hands and turned to Barclay. His body was relaxed against the wall, and his eyes were closed.

Each step toward the cot felt like Kel was pulling her foot out of thick mud. Despite her slow procession, however, she still arrived in front of her comrade too soon.

When she came to a stop, Barclay opened one of his hands and laid it in front of him. With every part of her mind yelling to stop, Kel tucked the venomous bundle into his palm.

His eyelids fluttered open, and he slowly unfolded the material.

"Would you look at that," he mumbled. "It was only beautiful on the outside after all."

Kel wasn't curious about what the contents of the pearl looked like. The unsightly innards of the once glittering necklace could be Barclay's knowledge alone. It would be his own tiny secret that would only be shared once Kel was forced into a corner of her own.

When she was the one propped against the wall with no hope and no other choice, then she could know too--the true nature of her glistening scarlet jewel.

As her comrade raised the cloth to his lips, Kel whispered, "Be free, Barclay."

Barclay paused and looked at Kel.

"You be free too, Kel. There will always be more hard things--impossible things, but don't let them become your chains."

"Rambling in old proverbs until the end," she murmured.

"That one was an original," Barclay muttered back, bringing the cloth to his mouth.
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