Tiny pieces of gray ash fluttered out of site, carried off Kel's palm by the wind.
When the small cinder pile had all been blown away, she sighed, resting her elbows on the window sill.
Should she pretend she never read the note?
With the paper marred beyond recognition and scattered, nobody would ever know of the words that had once existed inside the folded piece of parchment.
Nobody except her.
Despite how she tried to push them out of her mind, they stayed there, stuck permanently behind her eyes.
'My lovely Keliyah,
It was selfish of me to never give you a chance to decide your own destiny.
In pursuit of my own goals, I've hidden many things from you about yourself, your powers and, most importantly, your family.
As I've grown older, I've come to realize that my choices may have been too rash.
Seek me out on the winter solstice if you want to find your answers.
I'll be waiting for you at the base of the White Mountains.
With all the love of a foolish guardian,
Itzae'
Kel jolted at the sudden tickle of a tear streaming down her cheek.
Why write this letter? Why now?
Why, when she had already mourned for him and moved on, would Itzae make himself known this way?
"You should have stayed dead!" Kel shouted, slamming her fists against the cold stone of the window sill.
Another tear trickled toward her chin.
"Family? What do you mean my family?!" she barked, angrily wiping the tear away. "You were my family!"
"You.. gave me a family."
Kel sank to her knees, allowing the tears to flow freely from her eyes.
She knew all too well that there was no going back.
Now that she'd read Itzae's letter, she couldn't leave it be. The door that she'd opened could never be closed.
But what should she tell Calix?
Even as she knelt weeping on the floor, hundreds of people were bustling about outside, getting ready to depart for the South.
How could she say that she wasn't going with them?
With her worries hanging over her like a black cloud, she ate her breakfast, stood quietly while the maids dressed her, and followed Lucy out into the noonday sunlight.
Calix was waiting for her just outside the palace's main entrance.
"Traveling by the main roads won't be as fast," he began to explain, offering his arm, "but we'll have to bear with it."
Of course, in comparison with marching full speed through the forest, regular travel was slow.
It was perfectly ordinary and expected, but still, Kel's heart sank.
In spite of her churning stomach, she graciously accepted the Emperor's escort and smiled as he helped her into the carriage.
"I heard it's best to visit the ocean during the summer," Calix remarked, settling himself on the seat across from her. "So we'll reach Pandreia just in time."
Right.
If they left now, they'd arrive at the seaside country by the end of summer. Backtracking to Vitocia would take even longer, though, and they likely wouldn't see the Western kingdom until winter fell.
The winter solstice.
If Kel rode in this carriage, following the path it chose for her, she'd never reach the White Mountains in time.
She had to make a decision.
Either bury the letter and all of her regrets now and follow the Dragon Emperor into their happily ever after.
Or run away.
Again.
"Will you tell me what is worrying you so much?"
Kel glanced up to see Calix watching her intently from across the carriage. Concern filled his usually fierce eyes, and his lips were dipped into a small frown.
Perhaps, there was a third option.
"If I wanted to go somewhere for a while, would you let me?" she asked.
"I'll take you anywhere you want to go," Calix responded without hesitation. "Say the word, and we will leave immediately."
"Yeah?"
"Of course."
"Then, I want to visit another continent," Kel smirked. "One on the other side of the world."
".. This isn't about Dashien, is it?" Calix's gaze darkened.
"No. I want to go farther than where Dash is," Kel shook her head. "Somewhere I've never even heard of."
"In that case, I'll tell them to have a boat waiting for us," Calix responded.
"Really? You'd leave your Empire just like that?" Kel questioned. "After everything you've done until now to unite the continent, you would walk away?"
"Well, you aren't giving me much of a choice," the man chuckled. "Out of my Empire and my Empress, there is one that I'm more certain I could not stand to lose."
"Hmmm, then I want to go back to the Capital," Kel went on, somehow unable to completely believe Calix's words.
His entire life had been dedicated to becoming the Emperor of the Serin Empire and taking over the continent. How could he cast it aside so easily for her?
Especially when she was here considering whether to abandon him in pursuit of her own desires.
"Shall I tell the coachman to make a course straight for the Capital then?" Calix complied, feigning to reach for the door handle.
Kel pursed her lips.
"No. I want to go to Vitocia."
"Then that's where we'll go," Calix answered without missing a beat.
"What about Tael?" Kel raised an eyebrow.
"That tiny village in the North?" The Emperor shrugged. "If you so desire."
"The White Mountains?"
She almost whispered the words, too afraid to say them out loud.
Calix froze immediately.
"... Why would you want to go there?"
"Can't I?" Kel tried to give him a playful smile, but her lips felt numb. "You said you'd take me anywhere."
She turned to look out the window, afraid her voice would crack and betray her emotions if she spoke another word.
"Kel."
Calix reached across the carriage, gently tucking some of her hair behind her ear.
"Why do you want to go to the White Mountains?"
His voice was soft.
It was completely opposite of the quiet anger she was expecting.
She couldn't bury the letter and all her regrets with it.
And since Calix seemed so willing to give up everything for her, it didn't feel right to think of abandoning him so easily.
The only thing she could do now was tell the truth and hope the Dragon Emperor would understand.
"What would you do.."
Kel took a deep breath in.
".. if you found out Itzae was still alive?"
