Despair (1)
“No matter what happens, I’ll protect you.”
Arthur, who saw her eyes, told her.
“I was the only one who didn’t know that others were guarding me.”
Why is she not happy even though so many people protect her? Arthur’s words were contradictory, and she felt ridiculous at him saying that he will protect her from what he has done.
“To you…… Was I precious to you?”
Arthur’s words seemed to overlap Nox. Is it really Arthur she knew who looks no different from the devil?
Carl was precious to her. In any sense, he was never a light being.
“He was precious.”
This word distorts Arthur’s expression. Like a hurt person, she wondered how many times she was chewing on her words, but she asked again as if he didn’t understand.
“I was the one you loved.”
Yeah, she chose Arthur, not Carl, and she loved him. Even now, she couldn’t empty her mind. Nevertheless, Carl had a different meaning.
“Not loving someone doesn’t mean it’s not precious.”
Arthur didn’t seem to understand this feeling properly like a broken person. He seemed to be a person who was not interested in friendship or other emotions, not love.
Her heart for Carl and Arthur had distinctly different feelings and shapes. She, too, thought she would have fully recognized the difference.
She just found out that it was her illusion.
“Don’t make those wounded eyes. Don’t forget what kind of hell you’ve given me.”
Now that she’s free, she felt like she was walking in hell more than before. It was so painful that she thought it was better to die than to live like this, and guilt weighed more on her than she thought.
***
“Argh!”
She failed again. Sitting on the floor, she screamed. Because she had been lying down for a month, she couldn’t move her body as she wanted.
“Princess, please…… Slowly or you will get hurt.”
“…… I have to do it quickly, and I don’t have time for this.”
She couldn’t waste the time Carl gave her in this way. She picked up the rod and gave it strength to get back up. She fell and collapsed several times.
She was nervous. She was afraid that the continually delayed succession ceremony would shake people’s public sentiment, and she was afraid that bad rumors would spread about her again, causing disruptions in her work.
And Arthur came to her with the blue medicine hovering in his hand, perhaps because he noticed her heart.
Even though she threw it right in front of him and broke it.
***
When the news of the succession ceremony was held, the visits of the nobles did not stop.
Is it because she worked hard without taking a day off? Now there was no problem walking.
When she received the blue medicine, she threw it on the spot several times and broke it, but Arthur gave her the same medicine the next day.
“This won’t change me.”
“All I want is for you to live.”
“Why would you trust me to take this medicine?”
Chaeng-grang-
The maids rushed in and cleaned the room at the sound of a glass bottle breaking on the floor. She doesn’t know how many times they repeated this. Even when the miss hit his face, he just sighed as he looked over her body.
Even though blood was flowing from his forehead, he approached her to see if she was worried, scanned her weakened body, and turned around, leaving a message that he would come back the next day.
“That Princess….”
“What’s going on?”
What he carefully handed her was a blood-stained handkerchief.
“Prince Arthur dropped it and left.”
There was quite a lot of blood on the forehead to say that it had been wiped off, and Arthur would not have wiped the blood off.
“Throw it away.”
She gave the maid a handkerchief and said, It doesn’t matter if he bleeds or not, and she thought this was not important now because there would be no death.
Although the bet between Nox and Arthur was broken, it was Arthur who won the bet because she loved Arthur.
She doesn’t know what he had to lose when he lost, but he was alive and the winner anyway.
Arthur was not seen for days since then. It’s definitely what she wanted, but why does she feel so dirty?
***
The succession ceremony to the throne is just a week away. It was still uncomfortable to move her body than before, but it was much better than the first time.
Knock knock~
“Princess, Grand Duke Arthur is here.”
She thought he would not come anymore, but Arthur’s name, which was heard again, headed through the door. She has to hate it, and she has to hate him and hate and despise.
“…….”
But why is he looking at her with that face? His face was quite emaciated, even though she had only seen it for a few days.
He came to her with a sick face and a tired face. The corners of his mouth were shaking weakly.
He put the medicine in her hand without fail. He said, holding her hand, which went up to throw away at any moment.
“I can’t give it to you even if I want to now. So please, let me win this once.….”
What does that mean? She couldn’t listen to him and act as she wanted. She’s sick, but she doesn’t really understand why he looks like he’s about to die.
“What is that….”
She couldn’t speak until the end and swallowed it. What would she ask? Arthur, who was staring at her while talking, showed a light smile.
Arthur left the glass bottle in her hand and turned around, saying he would come again.
Arthur’s voice, asking her to lose only once, echoed in her ears repeatedly. She was strangely anxious about the high and low voice that was different from usual.
After drinking the glass bottle he gave her, she felt more comfortable as she did then. She fell asleep and lied down right away.
***
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