Volume 1 - CH 5.2
Kuhn closed his eyes and fell into thought for a very long time. Why had she hidden herself? She had obtained everything she had wanted —ardent love, eternal life, the glory of light, and even the Black Dragon’s wisdom—, so why?
And, what was the wisdom she had obtained? Why hadn’t she chosen either of them? Why did she not love them? Either Kittu or the Black Dragon.
“I can’t understand her at all.”
“Huh? I think I kind of get where she was coming from. It’s Kittu that I don’t understand. He should learn when to give up.”
“Why can you not understand Kittu? I understand him very well.”
The two of them stopped talking for a moment and waited for the other to speak up. But only silence prevailed between them, as if it was crushing their lungs, no matter how much time had passed.
Crackle, crack, crack. The flames crackled pitifully as they burned out. Renier simply watched and stared as the fire died instead of feeding it more firewood.
“……Kuhn. You said before that you’d put your everything on the line and pray if the gods only permitted love to grow inside of one person’s heart but not the other, right?”
“Yes.”
“But I don’t want to have to ask the gods for permission about that sort of thing. What’s the point in begging the gods for something when I don’t even know whether the other person loves me or hates me?”
“Why do you consider that begging? I am certain of the fact that Lord Utu, whom I worship, loves me and cares for me. Lord Utu will bless those who worship him and permit them to be happy, just as parents blessed their children and wish them to be happy too.”
“You really think so? I was told that I’m loved by Goddess Inanna, but it seems to me that she only brings misfortune to the people she loves.”
“That can’t be true. Lord Utu, whom I worship, Lord Enki, who created the mudpeople, and Lady Ninhursag all protect us and give us their blessings because they care about humankind.”
“Their blessings? Hmph! I don’t need anything of the sort —I’ll just go ahead and confess honestly if there’s someone I like, and I’d rather work hard to make them like me back instead of begging or praying to the gods, so go and tell them not to meddle.”
The boy was rendered speechless by the firmness of her reply. It looked like he had noticed long ago that Renier tended to grow thorny and sarcastic whenever she was talking about the gods.
Was that why? The boy didn’t rebuke her and call her a blasphemer, a heretic, or accursed, but a shadow always fell over his face whenever she insulted the gods.
……Was I too harsh? Renier hesitated for a moment before she gingerly asked,
“But anyway, Kuhn, would you give up on your feelings if Utu doesn’t permit the other person to love you back? Or would you stop worshipping him instead?”
Kuhn let out a sigh that sounded suspiciously like a groan in the lieu of a reply. Renier decided to say aloud the rest of what she wanted to say while she was already at it. She continued,
“Honestly, you don’t even know whether Lord Utu actually listens to your prayers. Even if he does, you still don’t know whether he loves you or whether he hates you, and you don’t know whether his love and blessings will be a good thing for you or not even if he does love you.”
“Mind your words. You insult Lord Utu, the god of light and justice whom I worship,”
he interjected sternly. Renier pouted as she quipped back,
“There’s nothing for me to mind. How could a weak and pitiful mudperson like me ever possibly insult the great gods who decree fate? I respect and revere them so humbly. I swear by the great Goddess Inanna that I’ve never…….”
A large hand suddenly fell over Renier’s mouth.
“Why do you always utter Lady Inanna’s name whenever you lie? You do it all the time! Stop that. You’ll incur Lady Inanna’s wrath.”
“I’ll do it if I want to!”
Renier smacked his hand away and continued,
“Just hearing her name makes me feel disgusted! Did you know that? She got to be born as a whimsical goddess who gets to hold her head up high no matter how arrogant and tyrannical she is because she just so happened to get lucky, while I was born as an orphan slave wench who has to roll around in mud without being able to trust anyone even though I never did anything wrong, all just because my luck was shit! That’s already more than enough to piss me off, but now I have to go and beg to her if I ever fall in love with somebody too? And not only that, but I even have to watch out for her every time I lie?”
“What happened to you that you’re so……?!”
“You don’t need to know! Anyway, I’m not going to feel better unless I at least use her gods-damned name every time I lie. And I’m going to keep using her name whenever I swear something too, so you can just sit there and think, ‘she’s telling a bold-faced lie again!’”
Kuhn dropped his jaw when he heard Renier’s sudden vehement outburst. Eventually, he sat back and burst out into a refreshing round of laughter.
“I’ve served Lord Utu ever since I was a child and I’m to become the next priest of my tribe soon, but you’re the first person I’ve met who insults the gods so openly —it’s rather refreshing.”
Renier was astonished for a moment and looked Kuhn up and down.
“Huh? Wait, what? A priest? You’re a priest? Did you really say that you’re a priest just now?”
“Yes. I’m to become the high priest of the Temple of Utu in Salt Mountain after the spring equinox passes and I come of age.”
Gods, of all the things… What kind of crazy person goes and blasphemes right in front of someone who’s about to become a priest in just a few days?!
It was only then that his answers, reactions, and behavior suddenly made sense to her. Her first hint should have been the fact that he would rather pray and ask the gods to let the woman he loved also develop feelings for him instead of trying to figure out how to seduce and sleep with said woman like all the other pieces of shit Renier had met in her life.
Then again… He took everything so seriously, to the point it was bizarre, whenever she made him swear upon Utu’s name. He probably would’ve untied himself, taken off his blindfold, and escaped from the cave a long time ago otherwise.
Right. He’s always had such a weird way of talking, and he’s always been so old-fashioned and thought and acted like a hundred-year-old man. I get it now. I finally get it. Renier began stomping her feet as she laughed.
“Hey, won’t your tribe be in trouble now? I can go ahead and say whatever it is that I want, since I’ve probably already been singled out anyway, but how could you say that it’s refreshing to hear someone insulting the gods when you’re about to become a priest?”
Kuhn suddenly dropped his shoulders.
“Even I don’t know whether I’ll be able to be a proper priest. I’ll have to officiate rites at the temple on the first of every month once I become the high priest, but I have no idea what I’d even say to bless those who are getting wed or had children, I don’t know whether the people will really be blessed after I bless them, or rather, I’m not sure if even I believe that my blessings will hold any meaning……. So I don’t know whether it’ll be proper for me to accept sacrifices and offerings…….”
Renier began giggling as she listened to the to-be high priest’s sudden confession of his guilty conscience. Kuhn would’ve surely made it big if he’d been a hunter or a blacksmith, so to think that he was to be a priest of Utu, the sun god, instead. And the high priest, at that.
The to-be high priest grew gloomy as Renier laughed and asked,
“In any event, why do you swear upon the names of the great gods whenever you lie? What will you swear by when you have to make a real vow?”
“I’ll swear it on my own name.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s the only thing I have left.”
Renier grinned.
Kuhn closed his mouth and lowered his head. Perhaps Renier’s reply had come as a shock to him, but he didn’t respond for quite some time. Renier could see his ulnar bone slowly moving up and down. He kept his head down as he replied,
“In that case, you can use my name.”
“……Huh?”
“You should cherish your name more if that’s the only thing you have left, so you should use my name when you have to make a vow. Swear upon the name, Kuhn of Salt City, son of Huwatu and Kahala, and I’ll guarantee your vows with my life for as long as I live.”
Renier opened her eyes wide. She couldn’t speak because her throat had suddenly closed up. Kuhn still kept his head lowered as he continued whispering,
“It hurts me inside when you speak like that. I want to do something for you, but I don’t know what to do or how to go about doing it. If you owe someone an animal, then I want to immediately hunt down that animal and give it to you, if you owe someone money, then I want to repay it seven times over, and if you owe someone your life, then I want to substitute my life for yours.”
“W-why would you just throw your l-life away like that after everything I’ve been through to s-save it……?”
“I already owe you my life either way.”
“I’m pretty sure I’ve already told you how you can repay me for that, and you agreed to do it. There won’t be any debts or grudges to repay after that. You can just forget about everything! Who gives a shit about my vows?! I’m just going to end up slandering your name too!”
Renier didn’t know why she grew angry when she saw the shadow falling over his face. You promised! Don’t you remember? Her voice grew louder as she shouted. His voice was flat as he replied,
“I remember. I haven’t forgotten. I will repay you in the manner that you so wished.”
***
<The Fifth Night and Day>
Kittu sank into madness. He wandered the wilderness in search of Armanu for a very long time.
His dragged his bloodied feet as he wandered the wilderness. His eyes had festered because the tears never stopped flowing from his darkened eyes. He looked up at the sky and cried whenever the sun came up, and he buried his face into the ground and cried whenever he thought about Armanu, who had disappeared from him without a trace.
When he returned to the tree at the end of his wandering, he found that the tree had grown at an alarming rate and had already become a forest. But Armanu, the incarnation of the tree, still had yet to return.
The white and black snakes, which had been coiled around the tree as they guarded it, fused back into the Black Dragon as soon as they spotted Kittu. The Black Dragon neither summoned his cold fog nor attacked Kittu with a thunderstorm.
He was exhausted in his loneliness, and he began to shed tears when he saw Kittu, whom he had battled and vied against for a very long time but who was also his equal who knew him best in all the heavens and the earth. Kittu did not ask him why he was crying.
“O Black Dragon, you who have received the wisdom of the heavens while living on the earth. I beseech you to tell me where Armanu is.”
“Do not seek her. No one knows whether that knowledge will be a boon or bane to you, for wisdom is neither good nor evil, so forget about her and enjoy the rest of your days instead, O Kittu, great warrior of six wings, Glory of Light, and beautiful one of heaven.”
“O Black Dragon, you who can see a thousand leagues from where you sit. I beseech you a second time to tell me where Armanu is.”
“She fled from you, and a wicked and contemptible winged beast was lying in wait to kidnap her as soon as she left the divine tree’s territory. She has lain with the winged beast, received his seed, and borne his children. Don’t go, and stay here in this forest instead. I yearn for the days we used to test our mettle against each other in battle. You are my eternal nemesis, my equal, my friend, and my brother.”
“O Black Dragon, you are my one and only enemy and my one and only friend. I beseech you a third time to tell me where Armanu is.”
The Black Dragon shed tears as he answered,
“A man-eating eagle who eats young girls lives in the Whitesalt Mountains, and Armanu was taken to his cave. The seed that you’ve sown have also borne fruit. The children who take after you are your son and daughter.”
***
“Which man would you wed if you were Armanu?”
Renier stared quietly at the boy before her. He seemed to be craving something, and his question was filled to the brim with a burning wish.
She felt like he was taking one step closer to her by the day. Renier was dismayed because his footsteps felt so sure, and she was dismayed because one week was far too short. There would come a time when she would be able to stop him and send him away, and the end of that time was only coming ever closer.
Renier slowly picked up a shield and held it in front of her. She could not allow him to approach any closer.
“I’m not planning to get married to anyone. I hate all men. I feel like ants or centipedes are crawling all over me whenever a man touches me.”
Kuhn froze. He was so shocked that he stiffened up like a block of ice. It was only a while later that he quietly asked,
“Why is that?”
You expect me to explain it to you with my own mouth? Renier sighed as she tried to cut short their conversation.
“It’s a long story. Don’t ask.”
“Why can’t I? Why are there so many things you won’t allow me to ask you? Why?! I’ve answered every question you asked me! I answered everything truthfully no matter how embarrassing it was. Why won’t you do the same?”
Kuhn cried out vehemently. Renier’s voice grew soft as she consoled him.
“Some people have things that they can’t talk about, Kuhn. Are you the kind of person who can’t be satisfied unless you know the answer to everything that happens in the world?”
“No. But I feel so frustrated whenever there’s something about you that I don’t know. It makes it hard to breathe.”
Was I too late in picking up my shield to stop you? Renier was slowly starting to lose faith in her own heart. Should I have turned you away a bit sooner? She probably would’ve given up on defending herself long ago if she hadn’t covered his eyes with the blindfold. Kuhn frowned and fell into thought for a long time before he carefully asked,
“Did you hate it when I held your hand too? What about when I massaged your feet?”
Renier broke into a smile when she saw the worry in his face.
“Who can say? I was grateful that you massaged me so I wouldn’t get frostbite, but I still find it disgus……I mean, I dislike it when men look at me or lay their hands on me. It feels dirty, and I hate it.”
“Do I simply need to wash myself more frequently?”
“……Kuhn.”
Renier sighed and shook her head. Was he doing this even despite knowing, or did he truly just not know? He persevered and pushed back even as she pushed him, cut him down, and turned him away, and she couldn’t help but feel like she was slowly being pushed back and losing territory. Renier dropped the shield she was holding and said,
“I didn’t think it was horrible when you touched me.”
Kuhn hesitated for a very long time before he clenched his hands into tight fists and asked,
“……Then, would it be all right with you if I kissed you?”
His voice was quivering so badly that she didn’t know how to respond.
Renier knew that he held her hand, prayed, and kissed her on the hand every night. If the bashful fool had already reached the point of asking this aloud, then it meant that all the words that had been crashing inside him like a tsunami had finally overflowed and spilled outside. They overflowed, and overflowed, and were overflowing.
Kuhn lowered his head and gritted his teeth together when Renier didn’t reply.
“Pretend you didn’t hear that.”
Blood had rushed up to his neck, and he was bright red.
***
<The Sixth Night and Day>
Utu, his father, came to him in a dream that night.
“Take back the two gifts thou hast so foolishly given away, my son. Then, thy shalt be able to return to the heavens.”
“How am I supposed to take them back?”
“Take thy blood into thy arms, and erase her and the rest of her blood from the face of the earth. Then, the glory of light, which thou hast given her, shalt be returned to thee. Next, burn the tree and take back thy eternal life that thou hast tied to it. Thou must take back the gifts in the order in which they were given, the glory of light first and thy eternal life last, then thee and thine descendants shalt be allowed to return to the heavens and by my side.”
Instead, however, Kittu made the long trek to the Whitesalt Mountains because he wanted to live with Armanu, not kill her.
It was difficult to find the man-eating eagle’s cave because the Whitesalt Mountains were large and rugged. It was only after many long seasons had passed that Kittu finally found the cave, but the man-eating eagle had already eaten Armanu, the mother of his own children, by then, just like he had eaten the other young girls. The man-eating eagle had swallowed her whole, leaving no piece of flesh nor shard of bone behind, erasing her completely from the face of the earth.
Kittu was enraged, so he took up his giant bow and nocked an arrow. The man-eating eagle, which had tried to flee to the skies, crashed down to earth and perished after being hit by seven of Kittu’s arrows. Then, Kittu sank down where he stood, smeared ashes all over himself, and clawed at himself all over as he wailed sorrowfully for a week.
Once his tears had stopped, he looked around the cave and found the four children whom Armanu had borne. There was a blindingly beautiful boy who had taken after him and a girl who his twin and mate, and there was a half-human beastman boy with bird feathers all over his body who had taken after the man-eating eagle and a girl who was his twin and mate. The latter were the dirty children borne between Armanu and the man-eating eagle.
Armanu had already been erased from the face of the earth because she had been devoured by the beast, but Kittu still had to slay the son and daughter borne to Armanu and the man-eating eagle in order to retrieve his glory of light, which he had given to Armanu.
Kittu held up his bow and shot the man-eating eagle’s son and daughter. The boy and girl were struck, but they escaped while leaving a trail of blood behind them. Kittu chased after them and tried to kill them with a knife, but the children hid themselves in Salt Mountain, the tallest and most rugged mountain of the Whitesalt Mountains.
Kittu eternally lost the chance to return to the heavens when he let Armanu’s children with the man-eating eagle escape him. Having lost his glory of light, his eternal life, and now even Armany, Kittu and his Celestial warriors, his offshoots, sat in the mountains and wailed. His tears flowed endlessly, and they eventually froze over and covered the mountains.
***
“……The man-eating eagle didn’t die at that time,”
Kuhn said despondently as he listened to Renier’s story. It looked like he had been waiting eagerly for his ancestor to be mentioned and was hopeful that his ancestor might be painted in a decent light, but, unfortunately, his ancestor, the man-eating eagle, was unquestionably the villain of this tale. Still, it looked like he intended point out the parts of the story that were wrong.
“What happened to the man-eating eagle, then?”
“He later found his children while limping on his broken wings and legs, and he came to Salt Mountain. He lived in Salt Mountain with his children, who had been in hiding.”
Wow, seriously? —what bullshit! But Renier barely just managed to keep herself from cursing aloud.
“His children must’ve been saints. They actually lived with their dad even after he ate their mom? Actually, before that —the Salt Mountain Tribe were being ridiculous too. They just accepted the man-eating eagle who ate their children like that? Were they really stupid enough to forget about that part?”
Renier had been about to launch into a fiery speech, but she only ended up laughing instead. They were probably just too scared to say anything —what else could it possibly have been?
She understood, but she was still infuriated all the same. She was always infuriated whenever she heard about people who became miserable because they had to submit to something more powerful.
“I seriously don’t get it. Why’d the beastme……I mean, the Northlanders just let the man-eating eagle harass them when they supposedly had nothing else going for them but their brute strength? If they all worked together…….”
Then they could’ve just barbequed the stupid bird and be done with it! But Renier swallowed back the urge to shout the rest of that sentence too. Kuhn would never have been born if the man-eating eagle had been barbequed, which posed its own set of complicated problems.
“Oh, they didn’t have the wisdom or the strength to work together and defeat their enemy at that point. Hmm, to be honest, I really believe that the Northlanders weren’t much better than beasts back then. It’s said that they didn’t know how to weave cloth, that they didn’t have clothes, shoes, or feet wraps, that they lived in caves because they didn’t know how to build homes, that most of them either froze or starved to death in winter, and that they didn’t know how to make knives of stone or dishes from clay either.”
“Aha. Is that why the Northlanders are were called beastmen?”
“No one knows exactly why people started calling us beastmen. Some say it’s because we’re the race of people who were born between the twelve divine beasts of the twelve mountains and humans, and others say it’s because we didn’t know that the Seven Great Gods were the true creators of the world and worshiped the twelve beasts instead. But I beg to differ. The Northlanders at the time may have been barbaric and lacking in wisdom, but I believe that they were still people all the same.”
“Hmm.”
“But it is correct to say……that the people of my household are beastmen, because we’re the descendants of the man-eating eagle. I grew angry with you before because I was upset, but I’ve never actually been proud of my forefather either.”
Renier stared quietly at Kuhn’s large figure as he sat before her. He had been outraged because the Southlanders hadn’t treated the beastmen like people, but he had also been ashamed by his household’s origins. He had only been so angry because it had hit a nerve.
Kuhn smiled bitterly as he began telling Renier about his ancestor.
“The Northlanders of that time were more afraid of the man-eating eagle than they were of the great gods. The man-eating eagle was a gigantic and ferocious bird that had somehow heard an oracle saying that ‘mythical beasts will take on human forms and obtain vast wisdom if they devour one thousands humans,’ so he kidnapped and ate people at the slightest provocation. He ate so many people that the twelve tribes couldn’t endure it any longer and began voluntarily offering sacrifices to him so they could appease him.”
“H-hmm.”
The man-eating eagle had truly been a piece of shit, but more importantly, a shitty oracle had been involved too. As always, it was the oracle that had ultimately been at fault. The man-eating eagle’s story hit closer to home for Renier now that she had learned about the shitty oracle. Renier began glaring as she urged Kuhn to continue.
“The twelve tribes began taking turns offering young girls as sacrifices to the man-eating eagle every month. He ate the girls immediately if they weren’t to his liking, and he spared them and hid them away deep inside his cave if he did.”
“Oh, so he spared them sometimes too. That’s good to hear! What happened to the girls he spared?”
Kuhn didn’t reply immediately, and he was hesitant as he reluctantly answered,
“……He used them to satiate his lust, and he ate them once he tired of them.”
Shit —Renier couldn’t help but curse. I take back what I said about it being good to hear. The man-eating bird had always just been a shitty bird bastard regardless of the oracle. It was only then that Renier finally and completely understood why Southlanders called the Northlanders, and the people of the Salt Mountain Tribe in particular, the ingrateful descendants of beasts and held them in contempt.
From beginning to end, Renier hated the reason why the eagle had eaten people.
It had been because of one absurd oracle that the man-eating eagle’s and so many young girls’ lives had been ruined. But it was also preposterous to say that the man-eating eagle was a victim in all this too.
He could’ve just rejected the oracle and refused to accept it, just like I did. Did he really need to become human? Then, I could’ve heard an ending where he decided to stay as an eagle who could traverse the land and the skies and lived happily ever after. Renier pouted as she began venting her frustrations on the man-eagle’s innocent descendant who was sitting before her.
“So, it was only after he’d kidnapped a holy goddess who had just stepped out of her territory, lived with her, had children with her, ate her, because the sacrifices that the people of the Whitesalt Mountains weren’t enough to satisfy him, and nearly died after being shot down by arrows that he finally went crawling to his children who were hiding in Salt Mountain?”
“……Why are you angry with me? It’s not like I was the one who ate them.”
Renier was apparently so salty about all this that she couldn’t even grow angry, considering how quickly she wilted despite how harsh Kuhn’s reply had been. Kuhn had no idea what was making the brat, who was notorious inside the divine stone cave for having a temper, act this way.
“Anyway, he got his human form and wisdom after eating a thousand people, so I guess his wish came true after all.”
“It’s said that he was neither fully eagle nor fully human by the time he made his way to Salt Mountain because he wasn’t able to eat his full quota of one thousand people. But he still stopped eating people after he’d eaten Armanu, he obtained vast wisdom, and he even became the chief of the Salt Mountain Tribe by sharing his wisdom with others.”
“Well, he obviously obtained vast wisdom after eating the goddess of the tree, so he probably just thought, ‘Ack, why did I ever do such a thing?!’ and came to his senses.”
“I……also believe that to be the case.”
“But I still don’t understand why the Salt Mountain Tribe made him their chief. We can say that the tribe let him live with them because they were scared of him, but it still doesn’t make sense that they made him their chief. Did he threaten to start eating them again if they didn’t?”
Renier suddenly stopped speaking. She saw deep wrinkles forming in Kuhn’s brow. He clenched his fists, as though he could no longer tolerate Renier’s accusations, and he began stammering as he defended his ancestor.
“E-even still……the man-eating eagle taught the beastmen of the Northlands a lot of things. He taught them how to live as a tribe, as neighbors, and as families; how to count and measure distance and weight; how to send signal with whistles; how to melt steel and forge weapons and tools; how to make anmars and train great eagles; how to bake dishes from clay; how to weave cloth and make clothes; how to built houses and temples by baking bricks or cutting stone; how to dig canals for water; how to salt and preserve fish; and how to revere the great gods and perform rites to properly worship them. It was the man-eating eagle who built the Great Temple of Utu at the peak of Salt Mountain, who taught us that the god who sent the winter storms was Lord Enlil of the atmosphere, and who made it possible for us to perform ancestral rites in the forest of cedars.”
Renier stared back at Kuhn quietly and nodded. She was sorry for cornering someone who was already ashamed about his origins. And Kuhn looked like he was still feeling sore too, judging by how his face was starting to turn red.
“You’re right. The man-eating eagle ended up helping the Northlanders a lot if they really used to live without houses, weapons, or even dishes before he taught them. I think I spoke too poorly about your ancestor. I’m sorry.”
Kuhn’s crumpled features mellowed somewhat when Renier offered him words of acknowledgement. He let out a big sigh, perhaps because he was truly relieved, before he began chuckling while rubbing his nose.
“Yes. That’s why the Northlanders recognize still my household and tribe, the Salt Mountain Tribe, as the leading tribe of the Northlands to this day.”
“Oh, is that how it is? That makes sense.”
Renier agreed not because she fully accepted what Kuhn had said but rather because she simply wanted to after seeing the smile on Kuhn’s face. She didn’t know why he looked so cute and innocent and made her heart ache so much when he smiled like that.
Renier patted the rascal, who had finally straightened himself out again after shrinking into himself, and gently stroked his hair as he hung his head in embarrassment. She liked the way his hair felt to the touch. It reminded her of the dog who had helped her herd sheep in the fields.
“Er, ahem.”
Kuhn flinched momentarily, likely because he wasn’t accustomed to having anyone stroke his hair. Renier immediately stopped because she had sensed the instinctive resistance and reactiveness in his movements. But it had only lasted very briefly.
Phew.
Kuhn let out a shaky sigh instead of growing angry or pushing her away. Not only that, but he also obediently leaned his head toward her and accepted her touch like a real sheepdog. Gingerly, Reiner asked,
“Did I upset you?”
“……No. I was just unaccustomed to it because no one has touched my hair since I was six. You may touch my hair as much as you please.”
Renier realized that Kuhn had broken down another part of her and accepted her yet again. Rather, it felt like he was personally breaking down all the walls she had put up.
She continued stroking Kuhn’s hair with renewed vigor. His hair was thick and coarse, so it was strange that it felt so soft and comfortable. His neck began growing bright red again, though not as visibly as it had been yesterday.
Then, Renier felt something moving ever so slightly under her hand. She stopped and opened her eyes wide.
“……You know how to wriggle your ears, Kuhn?”
“Oh, shoot.”
Kuhn turned his head in bewilderment. His ears, which had grown as red as his neck was, abruptly stopped mid-wriggle.
“W-wow! Kuhn, your ears were moving!”
“……Q-quiet down. The whole world can hear you.”
But Renier was too excited to quiet down. She’d never met anyone who could wriggle their ears before in her life. She brought her face right up to his ear and studied it this way and that.
“Wow! Do all of you beast……Northlanders know how to wriggle your ears?”
“……No.”
“That’s so weird! It’s adorable! It reminds me of the way that puppies cock their ears! Can you do it again?”
“……I don’t want to. Don’t say that I remind you of an animal.”
Whoops. It was only a beat later that Renier remembered that Kuhn hated being compared to animals and quickly apologized.
“Oh, sorry. I’m really sorry. It was just so cute and adorable. Are you mad?”
“……I’m not angry. It’s all right.”
“Anyway, can I try touching your ear while it’s moving? ……It’s just so cute.”
Kuhn hesitated for quite some time. It was only then that Renier finally realized that he was very loath about showing this ability off to people like it was some form of entertainment. Reluctantly, he muttered,
“I never showed this to my mother or younger sibling either…….”
“Oh, really? You don’t need to show me if you don’t want to. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”
“……No. If you truly want to see it……then I’ll show you. It’s nothing much.”
Kuhn ultimately brushed back his hair himself so Renier could see his ear better. It was bright red, as too was his exposed cheek.
His ear flinched when Renier touched it gently. It looked like Kuhn was only reacting on reflex because it tickled, but Renier’s heart began pounding because it was so curious and fun. Despite what looks suggested, Kuhn’s ear was as soft and squishy as the insides of freshly baked bread.
He frowned heavily and curled in his toes as hard as he could every time Renier touched his ear. He was curling them so hard that they were starting to turn white. Renier sighed wistfully and pulled her hand back because she was afraid that his toes might break if she continued.
The dark night, the gentle glow of fire, the cold air, the mysterious heat, the shaky sighs, and the rough breaths. Renier gradually became more and more bothered by everything that was filling the silence the longer it stretched.
It was his rough breathing, the suggestive bloody redness of his ears, cheeks, and neck, and his squirming toes that bothered her the most. Renier reached out like she was bewitched and wrapped her hands tightly around his feet.
“Why are you……?”
Kuhn was so startled that he didn’t even pull his feet back. He drew in a sharp breath, and his toes began curling up in Renier’s hands like he was having a seizure.
I don’t know, Kuhn? How should I answer? Should I say that it’s because your muddy feet, and your wriggling toes in particular, were just too cute? Because your ears felt so mysterious and endearing in my hand? Because I’m trying to hold myself back from planting a kiss on your thick and strong but candidly red neck even though I want to? Because your raspy stammering is making my mind go blank?
But Renier knew that she mustn’t say any of that aloud, so she instead grumbled,
“Stop wriggling your toes, it’s bothering me!”
“…….”
“And, what do you mean ‘why?’ You massage my feet every day, so I need to return the favor at least once too. Hey, stay still, will you?! I’ll have to smell your feet if you keep moving them like that.”
“I-I washed my feet in the snow just earlier…….”
“Shut up! I’m going to tickle your feet if you don’t stop moving! Hey, stop it!”
Kuhn wasn’t even able to take deep breaths has he let Renier massage his feet. He leaned back against the cave wall and huddled his shoulders in as his face flushed bright red. Beads of cold sweat formed on his forehead, and he bit down at his lip and forced himself to steady his breathing every time Renier squeezed his feet before he finally brought his knees up and buried his face into them. His face was hidden in his knees and his voice was quiet and raspy as he mumbled,
“I-I’m sorry —my toes just move by themselves every time you touch me.”
Renier squeezed as hard as she could. The rascal was probably covering his mouth like that so he wouldn’t make a slip of tongue like he had yesterday. Feeling his toes wriggling nonstop in her hands made it hard for her to breathe.
***
And, what was the wisdom she had obtained? Why hadn’t she chosen either of them? Why did she not love them? Either Kittu or the Black Dragon.
“I can’t understand her at all.”
“Huh? I think I kind of get where she was coming from. It’s Kittu that I don’t understand. He should learn when to give up.”
“Why can you not understand Kittu? I understand him very well.”
The two of them stopped talking for a moment and waited for the other to speak up. But only silence prevailed between them, as if it was crushing their lungs, no matter how much time had passed.
Crackle, crack, crack. The flames crackled pitifully as they burned out. Renier simply watched and stared as the fire died instead of feeding it more firewood.
“……Kuhn. You said before that you’d put your everything on the line and pray if the gods only permitted love to grow inside of one person’s heart but not the other, right?”
“Yes.”
“But I don’t want to have to ask the gods for permission about that sort of thing. What’s the point in begging the gods for something when I don’t even know whether the other person loves me or hates me?”
“Why do you consider that begging? I am certain of the fact that Lord Utu, whom I worship, loves me and cares for me. Lord Utu will bless those who worship him and permit them to be happy, just as parents blessed their children and wish them to be happy too.”
“You really think so? I was told that I’m loved by Goddess Inanna, but it seems to me that she only brings misfortune to the people she loves.”
“That can’t be true. Lord Utu, whom I worship, Lord Enki, who created the mudpeople, and Lady Ninhursag all protect us and give us their blessings because they care about humankind.”
“Their blessings? Hmph! I don’t need anything of the sort —I’ll just go ahead and confess honestly if there’s someone I like, and I’d rather work hard to make them like me back instead of begging or praying to the gods, so go and tell them not to meddle.”
The boy was rendered speechless by the firmness of her reply. It looked like he had noticed long ago that Renier tended to grow thorny and sarcastic whenever she was talking about the gods.
Was that why? The boy didn’t rebuke her and call her a blasphemer, a heretic, or accursed, but a shadow always fell over his face whenever she insulted the gods.
……Was I too harsh? Renier hesitated for a moment before she gingerly asked,
“But anyway, Kuhn, would you give up on your feelings if Utu doesn’t permit the other person to love you back? Or would you stop worshipping him instead?”
Kuhn let out a sigh that sounded suspiciously like a groan in the lieu of a reply. Renier decided to say aloud the rest of what she wanted to say while she was already at it. She continued,
“Honestly, you don’t even know whether Lord Utu actually listens to your prayers. Even if he does, you still don’t know whether he loves you or whether he hates you, and you don’t know whether his love and blessings will be a good thing for you or not even if he does love you.”
“Mind your words. You insult Lord Utu, the god of light and justice whom I worship,”
he interjected sternly. Renier pouted as she quipped back,
“There’s nothing for me to mind. How could a weak and pitiful mudperson like me ever possibly insult the great gods who decree fate? I respect and revere them so humbly. I swear by the great Goddess Inanna that I’ve never…….”
A large hand suddenly fell over Renier’s mouth.
“Why do you always utter Lady Inanna’s name whenever you lie? You do it all the time! Stop that. You’ll incur Lady Inanna’s wrath.”
“I’ll do it if I want to!”
Renier smacked his hand away and continued,
“Just hearing her name makes me feel disgusted! Did you know that? She got to be born as a whimsical goddess who gets to hold her head up high no matter how arrogant and tyrannical she is because she just so happened to get lucky, while I was born as an orphan slave wench who has to roll around in mud without being able to trust anyone even though I never did anything wrong, all just because my luck was shit! That’s already more than enough to piss me off, but now I have to go and beg to her if I ever fall in love with somebody too? And not only that, but I even have to watch out for her every time I lie?”
“What happened to you that you’re so……?!”
“You don’t need to know! Anyway, I’m not going to feel better unless I at least use her gods-damned name every time I lie. And I’m going to keep using her name whenever I swear something too, so you can just sit there and think, ‘she’s telling a bold-faced lie again!’”
Kuhn dropped his jaw when he heard Renier’s sudden vehement outburst. Eventually, he sat back and burst out into a refreshing round of laughter.
“I’ve served Lord Utu ever since I was a child and I’m to become the next priest of my tribe soon, but you’re the first person I’ve met who insults the gods so openly —it’s rather refreshing.”
Renier was astonished for a moment and looked Kuhn up and down.
“Huh? Wait, what? A priest? You’re a priest? Did you really say that you’re a priest just now?”
“Yes. I’m to become the high priest of the Temple of Utu in Salt Mountain after the spring equinox passes and I come of age.”
Gods, of all the things… What kind of crazy person goes and blasphemes right in front of someone who’s about to become a priest in just a few days?!
It was only then that his answers, reactions, and behavior suddenly made sense to her. Her first hint should have been the fact that he would rather pray and ask the gods to let the woman he loved also develop feelings for him instead of trying to figure out how to seduce and sleep with said woman like all the other pieces of shit Renier had met in her life.
Then again… He took everything so seriously, to the point it was bizarre, whenever she made him swear upon Utu’s name. He probably would’ve untied himself, taken off his blindfold, and escaped from the cave a long time ago otherwise.
Right. He’s always had such a weird way of talking, and he’s always been so old-fashioned and thought and acted like a hundred-year-old man. I get it now. I finally get it. Renier began stomping her feet as she laughed.
“Hey, won’t your tribe be in trouble now? I can go ahead and say whatever it is that I want, since I’ve probably already been singled out anyway, but how could you say that it’s refreshing to hear someone insulting the gods when you’re about to become a priest?”
Kuhn suddenly dropped his shoulders.
“Even I don’t know whether I’ll be able to be a proper priest. I’ll have to officiate rites at the temple on the first of every month once I become the high priest, but I have no idea what I’d even say to bless those who are getting wed or had children, I don’t know whether the people will really be blessed after I bless them, or rather, I’m not sure if even I believe that my blessings will hold any meaning……. So I don’t know whether it’ll be proper for me to accept sacrifices and offerings…….”
Renier began giggling as she listened to the to-be high priest’s sudden confession of his guilty conscience. Kuhn would’ve surely made it big if he’d been a hunter or a blacksmith, so to think that he was to be a priest of Utu, the sun god, instead. And the high priest, at that.
The to-be high priest grew gloomy as Renier laughed and asked,
“In any event, why do you swear upon the names of the great gods whenever you lie? What will you swear by when you have to make a real vow?”
“I’ll swear it on my own name.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s the only thing I have left.”
Renier grinned.
Kuhn closed his mouth and lowered his head. Perhaps Renier’s reply had come as a shock to him, but he didn’t respond for quite some time. Renier could see his ulnar bone slowly moving up and down. He kept his head down as he replied,
“In that case, you can use my name.”
“……Huh?”
“You should cherish your name more if that’s the only thing you have left, so you should use my name when you have to make a vow. Swear upon the name, Kuhn of Salt City, son of Huwatu and Kahala, and I’ll guarantee your vows with my life for as long as I live.”
Renier opened her eyes wide. She couldn’t speak because her throat had suddenly closed up. Kuhn still kept his head lowered as he continued whispering,
“It hurts me inside when you speak like that. I want to do something for you, but I don’t know what to do or how to go about doing it. If you owe someone an animal, then I want to immediately hunt down that animal and give it to you, if you owe someone money, then I want to repay it seven times over, and if you owe someone your life, then I want to substitute my life for yours.”
“W-why would you just throw your l-life away like that after everything I’ve been through to s-save it……?”
“I already owe you my life either way.”
“I’m pretty sure I’ve already told you how you can repay me for that, and you agreed to do it. There won’t be any debts or grudges to repay after that. You can just forget about everything! Who gives a shit about my vows?! I’m just going to end up slandering your name too!”
Renier didn’t know why she grew angry when she saw the shadow falling over his face. You promised! Don’t you remember? Her voice grew louder as she shouted. His voice was flat as he replied,
“I remember. I haven’t forgotten. I will repay you in the manner that you so wished.”
***
<The Fifth Night and Day>
Kittu sank into madness. He wandered the wilderness in search of Armanu for a very long time.
His dragged his bloodied feet as he wandered the wilderness. His eyes had festered because the tears never stopped flowing from his darkened eyes. He looked up at the sky and cried whenever the sun came up, and he buried his face into the ground and cried whenever he thought about Armanu, who had disappeared from him without a trace.
When he returned to the tree at the end of his wandering, he found that the tree had grown at an alarming rate and had already become a forest. But Armanu, the incarnation of the tree, still had yet to return.
The white and black snakes, which had been coiled around the tree as they guarded it, fused back into the Black Dragon as soon as they spotted Kittu. The Black Dragon neither summoned his cold fog nor attacked Kittu with a thunderstorm.
He was exhausted in his loneliness, and he began to shed tears when he saw Kittu, whom he had battled and vied against for a very long time but who was also his equal who knew him best in all the heavens and the earth. Kittu did not ask him why he was crying.
“O Black Dragon, you who have received the wisdom of the heavens while living on the earth. I beseech you to tell me where Armanu is.”
“Do not seek her. No one knows whether that knowledge will be a boon or bane to you, for wisdom is neither good nor evil, so forget about her and enjoy the rest of your days instead, O Kittu, great warrior of six wings, Glory of Light, and beautiful one of heaven.”
“O Black Dragon, you who can see a thousand leagues from where you sit. I beseech you a second time to tell me where Armanu is.”
“She fled from you, and a wicked and contemptible winged beast was lying in wait to kidnap her as soon as she left the divine tree’s territory. She has lain with the winged beast, received his seed, and borne his children. Don’t go, and stay here in this forest instead. I yearn for the days we used to test our mettle against each other in battle. You are my eternal nemesis, my equal, my friend, and my brother.”
“O Black Dragon, you are my one and only enemy and my one and only friend. I beseech you a third time to tell me where Armanu is.”
The Black Dragon shed tears as he answered,
“A man-eating eagle who eats young girls lives in the Whitesalt Mountains, and Armanu was taken to his cave. The seed that you’ve sown have also borne fruit. The children who take after you are your son and daughter.”
***
“Which man would you wed if you were Armanu?”
Renier stared quietly at the boy before her. He seemed to be craving something, and his question was filled to the brim with a burning wish.
She felt like he was taking one step closer to her by the day. Renier was dismayed because his footsteps felt so sure, and she was dismayed because one week was far too short. There would come a time when she would be able to stop him and send him away, and the end of that time was only coming ever closer.
Renier slowly picked up a shield and held it in front of her. She could not allow him to approach any closer.
“I’m not planning to get married to anyone. I hate all men. I feel like ants or centipedes are crawling all over me whenever a man touches me.”
Kuhn froze. He was so shocked that he stiffened up like a block of ice. It was only a while later that he quietly asked,
“Why is that?”
You expect me to explain it to you with my own mouth? Renier sighed as she tried to cut short their conversation.
“It’s a long story. Don’t ask.”
“Why can’t I? Why are there so many things you won’t allow me to ask you? Why?! I’ve answered every question you asked me! I answered everything truthfully no matter how embarrassing it was. Why won’t you do the same?”
Kuhn cried out vehemently. Renier’s voice grew soft as she consoled him.
“Some people have things that they can’t talk about, Kuhn. Are you the kind of person who can’t be satisfied unless you know the answer to everything that happens in the world?”
“No. But I feel so frustrated whenever there’s something about you that I don’t know. It makes it hard to breathe.”
Was I too late in picking up my shield to stop you? Renier was slowly starting to lose faith in her own heart. Should I have turned you away a bit sooner? She probably would’ve given up on defending herself long ago if she hadn’t covered his eyes with the blindfold. Kuhn frowned and fell into thought for a long time before he carefully asked,
“Did you hate it when I held your hand too? What about when I massaged your feet?”
Renier broke into a smile when she saw the worry in his face.
“Who can say? I was grateful that you massaged me so I wouldn’t get frostbite, but I still find it disgus……I mean, I dislike it when men look at me or lay their hands on me. It feels dirty, and I hate it.”
“Do I simply need to wash myself more frequently?”
“……Kuhn.”
Renier sighed and shook her head. Was he doing this even despite knowing, or did he truly just not know? He persevered and pushed back even as she pushed him, cut him down, and turned him away, and she couldn’t help but feel like she was slowly being pushed back and losing territory. Renier dropped the shield she was holding and said,
“I didn’t think it was horrible when you touched me.”
Kuhn hesitated for a very long time before he clenched his hands into tight fists and asked,
“……Then, would it be all right with you if I kissed you?”
His voice was quivering so badly that she didn’t know how to respond.
Renier knew that he held her hand, prayed, and kissed her on the hand every night. If the bashful fool had already reached the point of asking this aloud, then it meant that all the words that had been crashing inside him like a tsunami had finally overflowed and spilled outside. They overflowed, and overflowed, and were overflowing.
Kuhn lowered his head and gritted his teeth together when Renier didn’t reply.
“Pretend you didn’t hear that.”
Blood had rushed up to his neck, and he was bright red.
***
<The Sixth Night and Day>
Utu, his father, came to him in a dream that night.
“Take back the two gifts thou hast so foolishly given away, my son. Then, thy shalt be able to return to the heavens.”
“How am I supposed to take them back?”
“Take thy blood into thy arms, and erase her and the rest of her blood from the face of the earth. Then, the glory of light, which thou hast given her, shalt be returned to thee. Next, burn the tree and take back thy eternal life that thou hast tied to it. Thou must take back the gifts in the order in which they were given, the glory of light first and thy eternal life last, then thee and thine descendants shalt be allowed to return to the heavens and by my side.”
Instead, however, Kittu made the long trek to the Whitesalt Mountains because he wanted to live with Armanu, not kill her.
It was difficult to find the man-eating eagle’s cave because the Whitesalt Mountains were large and rugged. It was only after many long seasons had passed that Kittu finally found the cave, but the man-eating eagle had already eaten Armanu, the mother of his own children, by then, just like he had eaten the other young girls. The man-eating eagle had swallowed her whole, leaving no piece of flesh nor shard of bone behind, erasing her completely from the face of the earth.
Kittu was enraged, so he took up his giant bow and nocked an arrow. The man-eating eagle, which had tried to flee to the skies, crashed down to earth and perished after being hit by seven of Kittu’s arrows. Then, Kittu sank down where he stood, smeared ashes all over himself, and clawed at himself all over as he wailed sorrowfully for a week.
Once his tears had stopped, he looked around the cave and found the four children whom Armanu had borne. There was a blindingly beautiful boy who had taken after him and a girl who his twin and mate, and there was a half-human beastman boy with bird feathers all over his body who had taken after the man-eating eagle and a girl who was his twin and mate. The latter were the dirty children borne between Armanu and the man-eating eagle.
Armanu had already been erased from the face of the earth because she had been devoured by the beast, but Kittu still had to slay the son and daughter borne to Armanu and the man-eating eagle in order to retrieve his glory of light, which he had given to Armanu.
Kittu held up his bow and shot the man-eating eagle’s son and daughter. The boy and girl were struck, but they escaped while leaving a trail of blood behind them. Kittu chased after them and tried to kill them with a knife, but the children hid themselves in Salt Mountain, the tallest and most rugged mountain of the Whitesalt Mountains.
Kittu eternally lost the chance to return to the heavens when he let Armanu’s children with the man-eating eagle escape him. Having lost his glory of light, his eternal life, and now even Armany, Kittu and his Celestial warriors, his offshoots, sat in the mountains and wailed. His tears flowed endlessly, and they eventually froze over and covered the mountains.
***
“……The man-eating eagle didn’t die at that time,”
Kuhn said despondently as he listened to Renier’s story. It looked like he had been waiting eagerly for his ancestor to be mentioned and was hopeful that his ancestor might be painted in a decent light, but, unfortunately, his ancestor, the man-eating eagle, was unquestionably the villain of this tale. Still, it looked like he intended point out the parts of the story that were wrong.
“What happened to the man-eating eagle, then?”
“He later found his children while limping on his broken wings and legs, and he came to Salt Mountain. He lived in Salt Mountain with his children, who had been in hiding.”
Wow, seriously? —what bullshit! But Renier barely just managed to keep herself from cursing aloud.
“His children must’ve been saints. They actually lived with their dad even after he ate their mom? Actually, before that —the Salt Mountain Tribe were being ridiculous too. They just accepted the man-eating eagle who ate their children like that? Were they really stupid enough to forget about that part?”
Renier had been about to launch into a fiery speech, but she only ended up laughing instead. They were probably just too scared to say anything —what else could it possibly have been?
She understood, but she was still infuriated all the same. She was always infuriated whenever she heard about people who became miserable because they had to submit to something more powerful.
“I seriously don’t get it. Why’d the beastme……I mean, the Northlanders just let the man-eating eagle harass them when they supposedly had nothing else going for them but their brute strength? If they all worked together…….”
Then they could’ve just barbequed the stupid bird and be done with it! But Renier swallowed back the urge to shout the rest of that sentence too. Kuhn would never have been born if the man-eating eagle had been barbequed, which posed its own set of complicated problems.
“Oh, they didn’t have the wisdom or the strength to work together and defeat their enemy at that point. Hmm, to be honest, I really believe that the Northlanders weren’t much better than beasts back then. It’s said that they didn’t know how to weave cloth, that they didn’t have clothes, shoes, or feet wraps, that they lived in caves because they didn’t know how to build homes, that most of them either froze or starved to death in winter, and that they didn’t know how to make knives of stone or dishes from clay either.”
“Aha. Is that why the Northlanders are were called beastmen?”
“No one knows exactly why people started calling us beastmen. Some say it’s because we’re the race of people who were born between the twelve divine beasts of the twelve mountains and humans, and others say it’s because we didn’t know that the Seven Great Gods were the true creators of the world and worshiped the twelve beasts instead. But I beg to differ. The Northlanders at the time may have been barbaric and lacking in wisdom, but I believe that they were still people all the same.”
“Hmm.”
“But it is correct to say……that the people of my household are beastmen, because we’re the descendants of the man-eating eagle. I grew angry with you before because I was upset, but I’ve never actually been proud of my forefather either.”
Renier stared quietly at Kuhn’s large figure as he sat before her. He had been outraged because the Southlanders hadn’t treated the beastmen like people, but he had also been ashamed by his household’s origins. He had only been so angry because it had hit a nerve.
Kuhn smiled bitterly as he began telling Renier about his ancestor.
“The Northlanders of that time were more afraid of the man-eating eagle than they were of the great gods. The man-eating eagle was a gigantic and ferocious bird that had somehow heard an oracle saying that ‘mythical beasts will take on human forms and obtain vast wisdom if they devour one thousands humans,’ so he kidnapped and ate people at the slightest provocation. He ate so many people that the twelve tribes couldn’t endure it any longer and began voluntarily offering sacrifices to him so they could appease him.”
“H-hmm.”
The man-eating eagle had truly been a piece of shit, but more importantly, a shitty oracle had been involved too. As always, it was the oracle that had ultimately been at fault. The man-eating eagle’s story hit closer to home for Renier now that she had learned about the shitty oracle. Renier began glaring as she urged Kuhn to continue.
“The twelve tribes began taking turns offering young girls as sacrifices to the man-eating eagle every month. He ate the girls immediately if they weren’t to his liking, and he spared them and hid them away deep inside his cave if he did.”
“Oh, so he spared them sometimes too. That’s good to hear! What happened to the girls he spared?”
Kuhn didn’t reply immediately, and he was hesitant as he reluctantly answered,
“……He used them to satiate his lust, and he ate them once he tired of them.”
Shit —Renier couldn’t help but curse. I take back what I said about it being good to hear. The man-eating bird had always just been a shitty bird bastard regardless of the oracle. It was only then that Renier finally and completely understood why Southlanders called the Northlanders, and the people of the Salt Mountain Tribe in particular, the ingrateful descendants of beasts and held them in contempt.
From beginning to end, Renier hated the reason why the eagle had eaten people.
It had been because of one absurd oracle that the man-eating eagle’s and so many young girls’ lives had been ruined. But it was also preposterous to say that the man-eating eagle was a victim in all this too.
He could’ve just rejected the oracle and refused to accept it, just like I did. Did he really need to become human? Then, I could’ve heard an ending where he decided to stay as an eagle who could traverse the land and the skies and lived happily ever after. Renier pouted as she began venting her frustrations on the man-eagle’s innocent descendant who was sitting before her.
“So, it was only after he’d kidnapped a holy goddess who had just stepped out of her territory, lived with her, had children with her, ate her, because the sacrifices that the people of the Whitesalt Mountains weren’t enough to satisfy him, and nearly died after being shot down by arrows that he finally went crawling to his children who were hiding in Salt Mountain?”
“……Why are you angry with me? It’s not like I was the one who ate them.”
Renier was apparently so salty about all this that she couldn’t even grow angry, considering how quickly she wilted despite how harsh Kuhn’s reply had been. Kuhn had no idea what was making the brat, who was notorious inside the divine stone cave for having a temper, act this way.
“Anyway, he got his human form and wisdom after eating a thousand people, so I guess his wish came true after all.”
“It’s said that he was neither fully eagle nor fully human by the time he made his way to Salt Mountain because he wasn’t able to eat his full quota of one thousand people. But he still stopped eating people after he’d eaten Armanu, he obtained vast wisdom, and he even became the chief of the Salt Mountain Tribe by sharing his wisdom with others.”
“Well, he obviously obtained vast wisdom after eating the goddess of the tree, so he probably just thought, ‘Ack, why did I ever do such a thing?!’ and came to his senses.”
“I……also believe that to be the case.”
“But I still don’t understand why the Salt Mountain Tribe made him their chief. We can say that the tribe let him live with them because they were scared of him, but it still doesn’t make sense that they made him their chief. Did he threaten to start eating them again if they didn’t?”
Renier suddenly stopped speaking. She saw deep wrinkles forming in Kuhn’s brow. He clenched his fists, as though he could no longer tolerate Renier’s accusations, and he began stammering as he defended his ancestor.
“E-even still……the man-eating eagle taught the beastmen of the Northlands a lot of things. He taught them how to live as a tribe, as neighbors, and as families; how to count and measure distance and weight; how to send signal with whistles; how to melt steel and forge weapons and tools; how to make anmars and train great eagles; how to bake dishes from clay; how to weave cloth and make clothes; how to built houses and temples by baking bricks or cutting stone; how to dig canals for water; how to salt and preserve fish; and how to revere the great gods and perform rites to properly worship them. It was the man-eating eagle who built the Great Temple of Utu at the peak of Salt Mountain, who taught us that the god who sent the winter storms was Lord Enlil of the atmosphere, and who made it possible for us to perform ancestral rites in the forest of cedars.”
Renier stared back at Kuhn quietly and nodded. She was sorry for cornering someone who was already ashamed about his origins. And Kuhn looked like he was still feeling sore too, judging by how his face was starting to turn red.
“You’re right. The man-eating eagle ended up helping the Northlanders a lot if they really used to live without houses, weapons, or even dishes before he taught them. I think I spoke too poorly about your ancestor. I’m sorry.”
Kuhn’s crumpled features mellowed somewhat when Renier offered him words of acknowledgement. He let out a big sigh, perhaps because he was truly relieved, before he began chuckling while rubbing his nose.
“Yes. That’s why the Northlanders recognize still my household and tribe, the Salt Mountain Tribe, as the leading tribe of the Northlands to this day.”
“Oh, is that how it is? That makes sense.”
Renier agreed not because she fully accepted what Kuhn had said but rather because she simply wanted to after seeing the smile on Kuhn’s face. She didn’t know why he looked so cute and innocent and made her heart ache so much when he smiled like that.
Renier patted the rascal, who had finally straightened himself out again after shrinking into himself, and gently stroked his hair as he hung his head in embarrassment. She liked the way his hair felt to the touch. It reminded her of the dog who had helped her herd sheep in the fields.
“Er, ahem.”
Kuhn flinched momentarily, likely because he wasn’t accustomed to having anyone stroke his hair. Renier immediately stopped because she had sensed the instinctive resistance and reactiveness in his movements. But it had only lasted very briefly.
Phew.
Kuhn let out a shaky sigh instead of growing angry or pushing her away. Not only that, but he also obediently leaned his head toward her and accepted her touch like a real sheepdog. Gingerly, Reiner asked,
“Did I upset you?”
“……No. I was just unaccustomed to it because no one has touched my hair since I was six. You may touch my hair as much as you please.”
Renier realized that Kuhn had broken down another part of her and accepted her yet again. Rather, it felt like he was personally breaking down all the walls she had put up.
She continued stroking Kuhn’s hair with renewed vigor. His hair was thick and coarse, so it was strange that it felt so soft and comfortable. His neck began growing bright red again, though not as visibly as it had been yesterday.
Then, Renier felt something moving ever so slightly under her hand. She stopped and opened her eyes wide.
“……You know how to wriggle your ears, Kuhn?”
“Oh, shoot.”
Kuhn turned his head in bewilderment. His ears, which had grown as red as his neck was, abruptly stopped mid-wriggle.
“W-wow! Kuhn, your ears were moving!”
“……Q-quiet down. The whole world can hear you.”
But Renier was too excited to quiet down. She’d never met anyone who could wriggle their ears before in her life. She brought her face right up to his ear and studied it this way and that.
“Wow! Do all of you beast……Northlanders know how to wriggle your ears?”
“……No.”
“That’s so weird! It’s adorable! It reminds me of the way that puppies cock their ears! Can you do it again?”
“……I don’t want to. Don’t say that I remind you of an animal.”
Whoops. It was only a beat later that Renier remembered that Kuhn hated being compared to animals and quickly apologized.
“Oh, sorry. I’m really sorry. It was just so cute and adorable. Are you mad?”
“……I’m not angry. It’s all right.”
“Anyway, can I try touching your ear while it’s moving? ……It’s just so cute.”
Kuhn hesitated for quite some time. It was only then that Renier finally realized that he was very loath about showing this ability off to people like it was some form of entertainment. Reluctantly, he muttered,
“I never showed this to my mother or younger sibling either…….”
“Oh, really? You don’t need to show me if you don’t want to. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”
“……No. If you truly want to see it……then I’ll show you. It’s nothing much.”
Kuhn ultimately brushed back his hair himself so Renier could see his ear better. It was bright red, as too was his exposed cheek.
His ear flinched when Renier touched it gently. It looked like Kuhn was only reacting on reflex because it tickled, but Renier’s heart began pounding because it was so curious and fun. Despite what looks suggested, Kuhn’s ear was as soft and squishy as the insides of freshly baked bread.
He frowned heavily and curled in his toes as hard as he could every time Renier touched his ear. He was curling them so hard that they were starting to turn white. Renier sighed wistfully and pulled her hand back because she was afraid that his toes might break if she continued.
The dark night, the gentle glow of fire, the cold air, the mysterious heat, the shaky sighs, and the rough breaths. Renier gradually became more and more bothered by everything that was filling the silence the longer it stretched.
It was his rough breathing, the suggestive bloody redness of his ears, cheeks, and neck, and his squirming toes that bothered her the most. Renier reached out like she was bewitched and wrapped her hands tightly around his feet.
“Why are you……?”
Kuhn was so startled that he didn’t even pull his feet back. He drew in a sharp breath, and his toes began curling up in Renier’s hands like he was having a seizure.
I don’t know, Kuhn? How should I answer? Should I say that it’s because your muddy feet, and your wriggling toes in particular, were just too cute? Because your ears felt so mysterious and endearing in my hand? Because I’m trying to hold myself back from planting a kiss on your thick and strong but candidly red neck even though I want to? Because your raspy stammering is making my mind go blank?
But Renier knew that she mustn’t say any of that aloud, so she instead grumbled,
“Stop wriggling your toes, it’s bothering me!”
“…….”
“And, what do you mean ‘why?’ You massage my feet every day, so I need to return the favor at least once too. Hey, stay still, will you?! I’ll have to smell your feet if you keep moving them like that.”
“I-I washed my feet in the snow just earlier…….”
“Shut up! I’m going to tickle your feet if you don’t stop moving! Hey, stop it!”
Kuhn wasn’t even able to take deep breaths has he let Renier massage his feet. He leaned back against the cave wall and huddled his shoulders in as his face flushed bright red. Beads of cold sweat formed on his forehead, and he bit down at his lip and forced himself to steady his breathing every time Renier squeezed his feet before he finally brought his knees up and buried his face into them. His face was hidden in his knees and his voice was quiet and raspy as he mumbled,
“I-I’m sorry —my toes just move by themselves every time you touch me.”
Renier squeezed as hard as she could. The rascal was probably covering his mouth like that so he wouldn’t make a slip of tongue like he had yesterday. Feeling his toes wriggling nonstop in her hands made it hard for her to breathe.
***
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